DS has always been a little... in his own head. I just chalked it up to his age (twos, then he got a bit better at three, but maybe he's a bit delayed there in the social realm....) Now he's four. I can't get through to him, whether it's to pick up toys or leave his younger (foster) brother alone or go wash up. I get so frustrated that he ends up in timeout for not listening. Timeouts do NOT work with him. They work okay for FS, but not for him. He just can't wait to get out. At the end of each timeout, I go to him, talk to him about why he's there and what we can do differently next time. His answer to that one is "I don't know." or "Behave better/use nice manners." Okay, but you said that LAST time and you didn't do it!
Even when I tried to talk to him about the changes in our family since our FS came to us, he couldn't look at my face while I talked and couldn't listen to what I was saying. Believe me, I kept it short and simple. I don't lecture. He gets lost by the second word. I even stop after each phrase/sentence and ask him to tell me what I just said so I know he heard me, and sometimes he can, but then he doesn't act on it five minutes later.
I end up frustrated, sometimes yelling b/c I feel like that's the only way he can hear me. Not how I want it to be. How do I get through to him?