Hey - Ive been a long timd MDC member, but never posted to this board. So..let me give you some back story...or as much as is relevant.
Currently, I live with my four children, my partner (DP) and my soon to be ex-husband (DH I guess). It works for us, we are all really good friends, and its relaly fine. DH has worked since before DD#1 was born (she is now 4.5). DP has been raising DD#1 since she was 7 months old - so its not like dp is a stranger at all. I have been working for about a year and a half now. DP stays at home with the children. DD#1 is in school 3 half days a week (a waldorf preschool program).
We have been having a problem that has been escalating slowly over time, and is definitely becoming an issue now. DD#1 is having some major issues with DH and I going to work. I understand that is completely normal. We do what we can, we spend time with her (and all the kids) when we are home, we call or send pictures from work, we are always there to talk to her if she is upset during the day at our absense.
What is most concerning is her sleep. She is not waking up increasingly early because she is so upset we are leaving for work, and doesnt want us to go. She isn't screaming or anything like that, but she is waking up in an effort to convince us to stay home. This morning, for example, DH had to work early so we had to leave the house at 5:30a. DD#1 woke up promptly at 5:15 and would not go back to sleep. Her whining, again notscreaming, eventually woke up DD#2 who was then too tired to wake up, which woke up DS#2, and now the whole house is awake 1.5hrs early. This lack of sleep for DD#2 is really affecting her. I dont know how I can help her be okay or adjust to us working, even though it has been a while of it happening. We need her to sleep - not just because she wakes the other kids up, but for her own well being, her own happiness.
We have tried explaining to her that we work and we will always come home. We have tried making sure we give her hugs and kisses before we leave (even on the off chance she has stayed in bed - just so she knows we haven't forgotten).
I want to help her adjust to my working, but I dont know how. I already feel guilty that I work, as I always wanted to be a SAHM, but we needed the extra income and I have more earning potential than DP. I dont think its a case of DP not being a good caregiver, as she really is DD#1's mom, and has, like I said, helped raise her since 7months old.
Thoughts? Advice? Help?