3/23-3/31 Chit Chat thread « Back to Group Discussions

[tekcez]

Thought I'd get this started again a little early for next week since I feel like chit chatting!

Hope everyone is doing well, feeling at least ok, if not great.

DS is 10 months old today.  The fastest, slowest 10 months of my life, somehow.  

So I'll just dive right in with what's on my mind.  I've been struggling at work, feeling torn between my pediatric clients and my family since going back last September.  I was happy to go back and get out of the house a couple of days during the week, but then ds's sleep issues slapped me in the face.  He started waking every 2 hours around 4 months and nothing has really improved since.  In fact lately he's been waking up around 3 or 4 am and taking about an hour and a half to get back to sleep.  He's also an early riser--somehow he's managed to wake up at 5:30 even after the time change, how did he know?--and a poor napper.  I'm so exhausted, and I don't feel like I'm doing well at my job or for my family.  Lately my boss has been on my back about getting documentation in on time despite her knowledge of my situation--i.e. pregnant, nursing, not sleeping, on the verge of crazy--and it was kind of the last straw for me.  Last night I sent them my resignation letter, and I'm feeling conflicted.  It's still early in this pregnancy, and I've mc'ed before.  That said, even if I wasn't pregnant, I would still not be happy at my job.  I'm lucky that it is even possible for me to stop working.  Really I was not making much after we paid the nanny.  Then there's also the part of me that is wondering if I will really be happier staying at home every day with ds and then both of them come November. I need to find a community, sign up for swim lessons, music class, etc. I guess I can do that now that I can put all of my energy into my home and family.  I'm hoping that I'm not being rash because of these pregnancy hormones.  I'm hoping that without sharing my energy and efforts with work, I can find some peace in this pregnancy if finding rest is impossible.  Anyway, I know I'm not the only one struggling with home life and work and feeling anxious about the future with two little ones.  I need some inspiration, some perspective, something to help me find some balance and some joy in my current situations.   

[Era28]

I struggle with a similar issue, except I never went back to work after DS was born. DS will be 10 months on the 26th of March.  I always feel pressure to go back to work, but I always ask myself if it would really be worth it with daycare and everything else. The job that I could have went back to I hated and was an hour commute away each way.  Now that I am pregnant, I think it's a good opportunity to spend time with DS before the new baby comes. When the new baby comes, I will go back to work after 6 months probably. I just need to find the job that makes the most sense, being the job that doesnt compromise my happiness and one that's worth the childcare expenses. 

I think if you find a job that you love then it's worth it to work outside the home, but if you are not liking where you are then it's a good opportunity to spend time with your DS and refocus on your next work venture that will make you happy. I think employers understand when there is a gap in the resume because you took a break to be a mom and focus on your little ones. With the job out of the way you can focus on getting some sleep (or at least taking naps with your son, like I do :), and prepare for the new baby! Your son will having you home even though money may be tight it will be worth it! 

[Hijynx]

Yay another chit chat thread :P

C, I can't even imagine trying to work while pregnant and having a little one! I'm having a hard enough time (In a job i've wanted to leave forever and pregnant). I hope to find a new one after maternity leave :(  When do you stop working?

I've been feeling much better nausea-wise - my OB office gave me samples of a prenatal with B6 and ginger in it, and I guess it's helped! Not perfect, but more good days than bad this week. Mostly I've just been exhausted, and it's hard getting anything done at home after working 44 hours a week I'm so tired. My husband is doing crazy overtime for the next few weeks, and spends 80 hours a week between work and commuting :( so there's a lot of housework that just isn't getting done.

One week to our first appointment! I'll be telling my family then! We are breaking the news to some friends tonight because I just can't keep it a secret in person among close friends, at least we haven't seen them since we found out :P

Have a good weekend all!

[sere234]

Tekcez- Wow, that sounds stressful. I remember when my DS went through the 4 month sleep regression and it was awful. He finally started sleeping a bit better around 12 months and at 17 months had another nice sleep adjustment (for the better!). I am so grateful that I am a SAHM so if I need to, I can nap. Especially now that I'm pregnant! I would suggest finding a couple groups to get involved in now. I've enjoy going to my local LLL, a library group, a homebirth group, and have met several friends through Meetup mom's groups. Honestly, there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, even as a SAHM. I cook all our food, grow a big garden and preserve it for winter, write a blog for my own personal enrichment, and lots of other stuff. I think if you find things you love (besides your kiddos!), you might find staying at home enjoyable. Hope it goes well for you!

AFM- I'm actually feeling not so horrible today! It's lovely to my constant nausea, hunger, and exhaustion at 50% today instead of 100%. I let DS play at the kitchen sink this morning so he was a happy boy for about an hour. Last night DH, DS, and I went to our local art museum. We had a nice dinner at the cafe, explored the gardens, fountains, and grounds for a couple hours. It was so nice!

Does anyone else wonder if their morning sickness is worse at home? I've been staying home as much as I can to eat and rest since that seems to help. But being out last night helped me relax and actually feel better. Wonder if my mind has become conditioned to being sick here at home, thus I am sick? With my last pregnancy my morning sickness and hunger finally went away at 18 weeks, when we were on vacation. When I went on a daylong trip to IKEA at 15ish weeks, I felt better then too. But I worked out of the home then and felt like crap all day so, meh. It's so hard to leave the house now, feeling awful, packing food, and wrangling DS wherever we go. But maybe I should. Thoughts?

[Sheri R]

Hi all,

My daughter just turned two and I worked up to the day I gave birth.  Then I went back to work when she was 5 mos. (was a teacher/principal, went back as just a teacher).  And then at the end of that school year I, along with another workmate got laid off (yee ha!!! a blessing really).  Now we just make it work on one salary and I get to be home.  So thankful for this because I needed a breather from my career anyway.

So I am feeling like the first trimester is more uncomfortable this time... but I'm thinking it is because I am at home and can think about it more!  I just feel off/queasy all day, especially in evenings.  I still eat - love to snack on cheerios all day (and middle of the night) and I haven't thrown up, just don't feel great.  I agree that getting out and about often makes me feel better if I can just get myself and toddler out the door!!  I plan to do this much more often now that the weather is finally getting nicer....

nice to have a spot to chit-chat!  thanks!

@Hijynx - I get the housework trouble -I'm home all day, you'd think I could get something done, but the cleaning is sliding!  thankfully DH gets it and helps as much as possible..... do hope yours doesn't have to continue the 80 hrs/week forever.

[tekcez]

Era--I'm hoping to go back to the same job when this lo is between 1 and 2. We'll see how it feels. I really love working there under more reasonable circumstances. I really am looking forward to focusing my energy on my family.

Hyjinx--I told them I would work until they found a replacement or until May 31st. So I've given plenty of time. I just couldn't leave my clients in the lurch, but it's going to be a long couple of months! I know they won't find anyone until they absolutely have to. As far as housework goes, I've got a bad case of the f^ckits when it comes to that, pardon my French. It's a really bad thing though because we are about to put our house on the market and need to do so much work to get it ready. The stress is really not doing much for dh and I, relationship-wise. I have very limited compassion for his stress level because, well, he gets to sleep and I don't. It sort of feels like a trump card at this point in the game. Ten months of sleep deprivation. I win, stop whining at me.

Whew! Starting to hyper vent. Probably should stop there. Oh one more thing, though. Yesterday I ate an entire bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. I'm not proud.

[greenmamato2]

tekez - I ate half a jar of Claussen pickle slices, so don't feel too bad about your little indulgence. :)

I too, am having the problem of what to do with job vs. being a SAHM.  There is a job opening (actually 4!) for something that is as close to a dream job as I can get right now. It doesn't pay BIG bucks, but it would double our current income, which would help IMMENSELY, especially because we really need to move, and can't afford to on our current salary.  Right now we are living in a 2 bedroom singlewide trailer.  My 2 daughters have the bedrooms (my oldest has severe Autism and needs a room of her own), and my husband and I sleep in the front room of the house - right where you walk in the front door.  Ideally I would like to see about moving to a house with 4 bedrooms, but I would be happy even with 3.  In our area, that is really expensive though, so I would absolutely have to work.  

I am worried about leaving a new baby to go back to work after I have the baby.  I am also concerned about our childcare issues (especially for my oldest with severe Autism and develompent delays), but I may have it worked out.  This job should be fairly flexible so I can be home when she gets off the bus, until our childcare can get there, and hubby should be home not long after.  I can also do some hours in the evenings and weekends, so it would be a little more flexible as far as scheduling appointments with clients when I am available.

Like I said - pretty close to dream job, but still intimidating for someone who has either worked for herself or been a stay at home mom for the past 10 years.

[oikophile]

Originally Posted by sere234 

Does anyone else wonder if their morning sickness is worse at home? I've been staying home as much as I can to eat and rest since that seems to help. But being out last night helped me relax and actually feel better. Wonder if my mind has become conditioned to being sick here at home, thus I am sick? With my last pregnancy my morning sickness and hunger finally went away at 18 weeks, when we were on vacation. When I went on a daylong trip to IKEA at 15ish weeks, I felt better then too. But I worked out of the home then and felt like crap all day so, meh. It's so hard to leave the house now, feeling awful, packing food, and wrangling DS wherever we go. But maybe I should. Thoughts?

Well, I don't have a little one to wrangle, but I have found that for the most part I feel better if I'm outdoors in the fresh air doing something fun, especially if it's a nice day. If I stay inside, I just dwell on how icky I feel. About a week ago my partner and I went over to weed the garden for a friend of ours who's recovering from surgery. I almost didn't go because I was feeling crappy, but I decided to at the last minute, and I was so glad I went because I actually felt fine once I was there and doing something active and being social. As long as I had a snack I was okay. I still have times when I really just need to lie down, but I'm trying to learn when to really take it easy and when to just keep on. I realized a while ago that if I lie down every time my body feels off, I'll get nothing done and feel even worse :/ That's interesting about your morning sickness going away when you were on vacation. I do think a change of scenery can work wonders sometimes.

[finnegansmom]

Hello ladies!

I'm 8w1d today and this is the worst I've felt.  Just that all day terrible nausea and exhaustion but now the added bonus of a splitting headache. 

I think this week is generally the worst of me, hoping to get through it and feel better next week.

I work from home and watch my kids as well.  Today hasn't been my best parenting day...my oldest has been playing wii golf for hours...ugh.

I'm laying down nursing my 13 month to sleep since he has a cold and is so tired.  I'm hoping my dh is home soon so we can make us all dinner...poor guy.

Oh and yes, I tend to feel better when I'm outside of the house.

I remember that from my last son's pregnancy...the first trimester was during the summer so I spent a lot of time outside and at the beach.

It seemed easier.  Last week was nice here and I tried to spend time outside but today is cold again...

I have my first MW appt on Friday.  I'll be almost 9 weeks.  I'm due for a pap (overdue actually ugh) so I'm going to get that done.  I'm sure she'll try to find the HB on doppler and I'm certain she won't due to my squishy belly which will make me extremely nervous.  I'm almost thinking of just not letting her even try....

[greenmamato2]

Can you make a request that if she is determined to find the heartbeat, you go straight to an internal ultrasound?  I know it sounds invasive, but this early, it is the easiest and clearest way to find the baby, see everything, and hear the heartbeat.  I heard mine at 7 weeks on the nose, but I *KNOW* we couldnt' have heard it through the doppler.

[finnegansmom]

It's a midwife office and she only has the US tech come on Wednesdays.

I know this because I used to specifically made my prenatals with my last son on Wednesdays in case I was feeling especially neurotic.

This time around my husband has Fridays off so it's much easier to schedule them on Friday.

[tekcez]

Sarah, I usually feel better when I'm out of the house. I went out last night and bought a slew of ms remedies. Preggy drops, ginger beer, ginger candy, ginger lemon tea, almonds, and sea bands. I actually think the sea bands have taken the edge off. The almonds seem to help in the morning when I'm dying of hunger but can't eat much.

Michelle, I had constant headaches from weeks 7 to 14 with ds. The only thing that would touch them was half a cup of coffee and Tylenol. I hated to do it, so I saved it for when I was at the end of my rope. Good luck at your appointment. I have a tilted uterus so we had many a tense moment with the doppler early on.

Afm, ds was a barnacle today. He's become so intensely cuddly lately. He gets a death grip on me and then sweetly lays his head on my shoulder before biting it with his two tiny chompers. Small but effective.

[finnegansmom]

Tekcez - I had terribly headaches with my first...they were terrible!  every day, so horrible...it was so bad.  I could not find any tylenol in the house, only advil.  We don't use a lot of medication.

So I hit up the kid's Pediacare (acetaminophen kind).  It took the edge off the headache but tasted terribly nasty.  So I washed that down with 2 large black bean fajitas.  And now I feel like vomiting so I'm going to go see if I can find a sprite in the fridge.  And this is why I gain 60# which each pregnancy.... Le Sigh.

[poema304]

I've been getting nasty headaches too. I just want to lay my head down on my soft pillow and go to sleep. Glad to hear this is normal since I've never experienced this before with pregnancy. 

Since this is a chit chat thread, on an unrelated note to the headaches... I just found out my SIL is pregnant and due in November too. I feel really upset and feel like they are stealing my thunder. I haven't it announced it to very many people yet (aka no Facebook announcement) and we didn't hear anything about it from them when my DH told them we were pg. Then all the sudden, they announce their pg on Facebook. We don't live in the same state and it's probably just the hormones talking, but this really bothers me! I know I should be happy, I'm just not :(

[greenmamato2]

My brother did the same thing poema304.  Announcement on Facebook right around the same time we found out, and they didn't even say ANYTHING when we told them about our pregnancy.  We haven't put it up on Facebook yet either. :(

Also - anyone else having back pain?  My middle-back is KILLLLING me.  It has woken me up about every half hour in excruciating pain the past few nights.  I've tried switching sides of the bed with hubby (though I don't think its the bed - its only a year old), I've tried applying heat to my mid back (not lower down and not for a long time, so I don't raise my core temp), hot showers, etc.  Nothing is helping at this point.  I'm calling my Dr. today, so we'll see what he says.  I haven't been taking anything because I am really scared to do so and compromise this pregnancy.  I know a good muscle relaxer would do the trick, but I realllly don't think the Dr is going to say that's ok. :(

Any other suggestions?

[tekcez]

Greenmama--I have had horrible middle back pain, too! I remember now that I had it with my last pregnancy.  It's worse this time because of holding ds all the time, so my back is just in generally worse shape.  I also had horrible hip pain with ds.  I ended up going to the acupuncturist and chiropractor quite a bit.  Don't know about you, but that is a luxury I just can't afford this time around, both monetarily and time-wise.  Insurance doesn't cover acupuncture, and when do I have time to spend an hour laying on a table anyhow??  For me it is a postural problem, over extension (flexion??) forward, so I am really trying to engage my core muscles while sitting and counter act by pulling my shoulder blades together and stretching my chest muscles.  I lay down on a heated grain pillow for a while at night before bed.  It has improved a bit, but sometimes it just feels like knives on either side of my spine a little below shoulder blade level. 

[greenmamato2]

That sounds exactly like what I'm feeling.  I'm so sorry you have it too. :(  

I called my Dr. and they suggested Tylenol and heat.  They said I could go to a chiropractor too, but yeah... we REALLY can't afford it. :(