Almost 29 weeks and tired of comments « Back to Group Discussions

[joyfulmomof2]

I am 28 weeks and 5 days, and since about 4 weeks ago, I've been the recipient of all kinds of (read: unwanted) size-related comments. This is my third pregnancy, so I know I tend to get large, and I'm definitely bigger with this one than the previous two. I pretty much all but expect to hear stuff, but sometimes it just gets old.

Most people think I'm about to go into labor like *right now*. And every time I go out into public I hear something. Some from total strangers, and from people I'm around all the time. Like yesterday, I was walking into the market and an older lady passing by me chirped, "it must be soon!" And then today a cashier at the store said "you look like you're about to burst!"

I still have ("officially") 11 more weeks to go! Since I know I'm probably not going to hear the end of it for a while, I know I should just learn to have fun with it.

Anyone dealing with this right now too? Any suggestions on fun comebacks? I don't want to be rude or anything. I know people don't mean to be insensitive, so there's really no point in being mean back. KWIM?

[LionessMom]

i dont really have any comebacks for you. i am getting tired of it as well. i just look them dead in the eyes with my iciest stare and say "i have 3 months left, thank you." usually the tone of my voice carries my exasperation well and i dont care if they are offended. my feet hurt, my back hurts, i FEEL huge and dont need to be reminded every 3 minutes by complete strangers. i always get big, am already big, and am going to get bigger. i am pretty sure that they are being rude in the first place by saying something about my size. 

[KristaDJ]

I don't go out a whole lot so I haven't heard anything yet but I know I will get it from the family at easter. The "you're about to pop!" comments always start at 6months for me. When I tell people that I have three months left they say "twins?" lol In my second pregnancy I was even told by my fil that I wouldn't make it to thanksgiving, I was due the middle of feb :-P. 
I think I cried just about every time with my first but since then I just laugh and say "oh no, not till....." I think it's funny to shock people like that. If I really wanted to have fun with someone I'd probably clutch my stomach and moan like a full on movie woman right before she says "it's time!" THEN I would laugh and say, "no, not for three more months" and waddle away. 

[thecountrymouse]

I am 29 weeks along.  I am larger than I was with my daughter.  I do get lots of "You are about ready to burst!"  I usually just laugh and say that maybe it'll be a huge baby.  One time I told someone that gigantism ran in my family (which is not a total lie).  People just want to be a part of pregnancy.  I know they aren't trying to be hurtful.  I also try to remember that pregnant woman are amazing.  Even when I feel pukey, and swollen and crappy- to others I am the embodiment of a true miracle.  We don't have much longer to go- I am going to embrace the gigantic earth goddessness of it all while I can.  

My MIL on the other hand says some shit that really pisses me off.  But whatever.  

[mirandamiranda]

Funnily enough I find it annoying when people comment on how SMALL I am! I kind of feel like there's an implication I'm not growing the baby properly, which I know is ridiculous and not what people are thinking at all.

When I was pregnant with the twins people would first comment on how huge I was, you must be due now etc etc, and when I said "no actually it's twins" they'd say I was small for twins! So I suppose you just can't win...

[sraplayas]

Yes, I get that "oh you look so small", too. The thing is, I feel Huge! I'm definitely bigger tummy-wise than my last two pregnancies and am feeling every bit of it so it is strange to hear that comment.

Bottom line is: the appropriate response to a pregnant woman is: "You look great!" :)

[FaithHopeLove29]

Oh I can totally commiserate - Everyone (my mother included) loves to tell me how huge I am and how fast this baby is growing. Except, of course, women who have been pregnant in the last 5 years. THEY tell me I look great. I don't get too much from strangers, but my boss, all the administrative staff, my mom, most of the women at church - I'm "huge" and then tell me all the unexpected twin stories they know. Even hubby jokes about it (which makes me crazy). I know they don't mean to be hurtful, but what it comes down to is all women grow babies differently! This is my first, so I do get pretty defensive... Snapped at my mother recently when she commented with something about how I'm tired of being told how huge I am and stuff - she hasn't commented since.

[joyfulmomof2]

Originally Posted by KristaDJ  If I really wanted to have fun with someone I'd probably clutch my stomach and moan like a full on movie woman right before she says "it's time!" THEN I would laugh and say, "no, not for three more months" and waddle away. 

Lol! I've thought about doing this too. :P

Originally Posted by FaithHopeLove29 

Oh I can totally commiserate - Everyone (my mother included) loves to tell me how huge I am and how fast this baby is growing. Except, of course, women who have been pregnant in the last 5 years. THEY tell me I look great. I don't get too much from strangers, but my boss, all the administrative staff, my mom, most of the women at church - I'm "huge" and then tell me all the unexpected twin stories they know.

I *wish* I didn't get it from women who have had babies in the last 5 years! I think I've gotten it worse from them. My sister (who's youngest just turned a year old) saw me the other day and was just like "Geez!" (I told her to "shut it!" since she's my sister, and none of us are known for "small pregnancies") She told me, "it just looks like you're going to fall over!" Then I posted a ticker on my Facebook timeline and a friend from church (who has three under three) commented on my post something like "Wow! June seems so long from now with how big you already are!"

And I get the twins question all the time. It's just so awkward. One of the first comments I got from a complete stranger was something like "looks like you're due any day" and I said, "actually not until June" and she said "oh...wow! Are you having twins?"

Then I try to explain to people, no, I'm just a small person with a big belly, since I have very little torso to work with. But that response gets a little old.

My midwife said (on her Facebook page) when people tell you it looks like you're going to have a big baby, you should just say "well, it's a good thing I have such a big vagina!" Lol! I may use that sometime when I'm extra cranky, that's probably the only time I'd have the nerve to say that.

[swelldoula]

My midwife said (on her Facebook page) when people tell you it looks like you're going to have a big baby, you should just say "well, it's a good thing I have such a big vagina!" Lol! I may use that sometime when I'm extra cranky, that's probably the only time I'd have the nerve to say that.

  Sounds like a good answer to me!

[KristaDJ]

My midwife said (on her Facebook page) when people tell you it looks like you're going to have a big baby, you should just say "well, it's a good thing I have such a big vagina!" Lol! I may use that sometime when I'm extra cranky, that's probably the only time I'd have the nerve to say that.

Literally LOL'd at this. Wow. I wish I'd get that comment now lol

[OceanGypsy87]

For the most part I've gotten comments on how cute I am, but I definitely get the "You look huge" comments. To which I just respond that I have a tiny waist and a small frame, so yes i will look huge. I don't get it enough to where i wanna kill anyone, thank goodness. 

[MovnMama]

Originally Posted by KristaDJ 

I think I cried just about every time with my first but since then I just laugh and say "oh no, not till....." I think it's funny to shock people like that. If I really wanted to have fun with someone I'd probably clutch my stomach and moan like a full on movie woman right before she says "it's time!" THEN I would laugh and say, "no, not for three more months" and waddle away. 

Originally Posted by joyfulmomof2 

Then I try to explain to people, no, I'm just a small person with a big belly, since I have very little torso to work with. But that response gets a little old.

My midwife said (on her Facebook page) when people tell you it looks like you're going to have a big baby, you should just say "well, it's a good thing I have such a big vagina!" Lol! I may use that sometime when I'm extra cranky, that's probably the only time I'd have the nerve to say that.

LOL! Both of these are great responses! 

My response would probably be something like "well, I bet you also know what it's like to be bigger than people think you should be..." or "gee, it's really nice to be reminded how enormous I am. Thanks," or something like that. But that's just rude, and I'd have to be pretty cranky and tired even for me!
 

The only commiseration I have is that another teacher in my building (who struggled with infertility) is about 3 weeks ahead of me and still in normal pants (I've been in mat. clothes since week 14). She's told other teachers she feels bad about her own growth because she's not as huge as I am! I mean, she is on number 1, and also I think she had horrible hyperemesis (which her doctor kept telling her was fine even though she was throwing up blood - I was kind of upset on her behalf about that). So I don't really mind that she thinks I'm big - I'm pretty sure from her it's a compliment!

[MamaInTheDesert]

Usually when someone says something like "you're getting huge!" I just say "Yup!" very enthusiastically and keep on moving. Another response I like to give is "Yep! I'm large and in charge!" That usually gets a chuckle, and keeps me from having to engage.

Another response I like is patting your belly and saying: "Yeah, I ate a watermelon seed. It's almost harvest time!"

I asked DH if he had any snappy come backs to someone saying "Wow, you're getting huge!" and added that it shouldn't be rude. He said: "So, responding 'F*** you!' would be inappropriate? How about 'Wow, you're getting ugly!'"

[wanderinblues]

i only just started looking visibly pregnant and was getting tired of the small comments. im thrilled that a couple of people have noticed in the last week or two. 

[tinams8]

Originally Posted by joyfulmomof2 

My midwife said (on her Facebook page) when people tell you it looks like you're going to have a big baby, you should just say "well, it's a good thing I have such a big vagina!" Lol! I may use that sometime when I'm extra cranky, that's probably the only time I'd have the nerve to say that.

Oh my gosh, I wish I had the nerve to say this to some of my coworkers...then again, another couple of months and I might be saying it on a regular basis.  

I was complaining to my dad that my mom was being mean and asking me why I was "SO huge!" (at 12 weeks!) and my dad said to tell her, "I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?"

[FaithHopeLove29]

I love the replies! :-) I don't have the courage to say any of them either... I just smile and nod mostly - "you're huge" ... "yup, but I'm feeling good". or "you're getting big!" ..."yup, only a couple months to go". I don't much make sense, but whatever, telling a pregnant woman she's huge is pretty silly too. Maybe they don't know - there's a BABY in there!

[FaithHopeLove29]

I wanted to share - this weekend it was Palm Sunday so I pulled out a lovely dress (I think the long ones are called maxi-dresses?) that's got a very loose fit in the abdomen and fits over my belly no problem. Most people at church told me I looked "elegant" and such, which was lovely. One woman walks up to me, and says "in THAT dress, you look REALLY HUGE!" My brother almost died trying not to react, and I just said "thanks, I really appreciate that". OMG my bro and I had such a great laugh over that for the rest of the day. He had no idea people actually said such things! 

[joyfulmomof2]

Originally Posted by FaithHopeLove29 

I wanted to share - this weekend it was Palm Sunday so I pulled out a lovely dress (I think the long ones are called maxi-dresses?) that's got a very loose fit in the abdomen and fits over my belly no problem. Most people at church told me I looked "elegant" and such, which was lovely. One woman walks up to me, and says "in THAT dress, you look REALLY HUGE!" My brother almost died trying not to react, and I just said "thanks, I really appreciate that". OMG my bro and I had such a great laugh over that for the rest of the day. He had no idea people actually said such things! 

Yep. They sure do!

I bought a shirt that says "Does this baby make me look fat?" and I wore it for the first time almost a week ago. Ironically, it doesn't look like a tent on me. Lol! A couple ladies at church walked by me and just said "no!" Ha ha. I even had someone tell me I didn't look as big as I did with my second pregnancy. Which I know isn't true...I'm probably just a different shape. The clothes I wore at the *end* of pregnancy #2 either don't fit me now (at 30 weeks) or are REALLY snug.

Fun stuff. :-)

[MamaAcorn]

Totally sick of the comments already too!  I'm 28 weeks today and already had a meltdown with store employee a couple of weeks ago that wouldn't take the hint and continued telling me "I was ready to pop" and "anytime now" even when I looked at her exasperated and said I sure hope not, what an awful thing that would be!  Next time, I'm gonna be blunt and honest and tell them that they are being incredibly rude and hurtful and walk away.  

[acordio]

Originally Posted by joyfulmomof2 

My midwife said (on her Facebook page) when people tell you it looks like you're going to have a big baby, you should just say "well, it's a good thing I have such a big vagina!" Lol! I may use that sometime when I'm extra cranky, that's probably the only time I'd have the nerve to say that.

OH MY good thing I was not eating or drinking anything or I might have choked !!!  I may have to use this one!