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[Marilyn82]

I just got my BFP this evening and am still in shock. I have two other children, my son is 8.5 and my daughter is almost 18 months old. Both of my other children were planned and both took a long time to conceive. My son took 9 months to conceive and my daughter took 2.5 years. I am still nursing my little one and had my first period since getting pregnant with her on Feb 7. My husband and I did have one little slip up barely two weeks after my period, but since I have very irregular ovulation and always have (and have always had very long cycles - 35 days at least), we really did not think too much of it. I've had a few instances of feeling queasy if I went too long without eating so I decided to test. It was a VERY obvious positive right away. My poor DH started crying when I told him.

We have had an extremely difficult year and a half and we are stretched incredibly thin. We are honestly not sure how on earth we are going to do this. There is no way we can continue to live in our current home and I don't think I can continue to work full time with two little ones. We are already struggling financially and I have a MUCH higher wage earning potential than my hubby (who is in school full time). Sigh....there is much to be processed and decided.

I honestly don't even know what to do for prenatal care at this point. My daughter was born after a very long 33 hour labor/failed homebirth which ended in a repeat and quite traumatic c-section. Another homebirth is not really an option due to our living situation but I don't want to end up with an automatic c-sec again.

My heart did want another baby but I can't say I feel ready at this point.

I'm not telling family or friends just yet so I just needed a place to get this out....thanks for listening. I do look forward to sharing this experience with you all, and I'm sure I will feel much more positive soon.

[Gray's Mommy]

Welcome and I am sorry about your situation. It sounds very stressful. I had a homebirth transport with a traumatic c/s too. Big hugs to you mama!!

[sere234]

Oh my gosh, I couldn't read this without responding. What a hard place you are in right now. I hope with a bunch of brainstorming you and your DH are able to come up with ways to make this easier to handle. Hugs to you!

[HarperRose]

Just hugs. I was also in shock and freaked out due to health problems I get during preg, but also because I felt sure I'd be looking at another hospital birth after a traumatic first birth 12 years ago. 

You're not alone. we are in no position to do it again, but such is life. I accept it.

[Bella Catalina]

Hugs mama. Welcome. I have known for about 9 days at this point and I'm still on the roller coaster of shock. We are struggling financially, too and have no idea how we're going to do this.

[Marilyn82]

Thank you mamas, I so appreciate the kind words 

I think today is better so far...there is still so much to think about but I'm trying to push that out of my mind and just let it mellow for a week or two for now. I'm still having a hard time believing it....I even bought more tests to pee on haha. They were all very ++++ by the way, lol.

[jillc512]

Congratulations on your new little one, and I'm sorry about the life circumstances that are making this hard to swallow right now.  

This pregnancy was a bit of a shock to us, too (it took us a year to conceive our last baby).  I've had three weeks to process it so far, and I still wake up a little shocked every morning.

I heard a Mexican proverb recently: "A new baby always comes with a loaf of bread tucked under his arm."  I pray that's true for your family!

[Thyme Mama]

We are stretched incredibly thin too, and while we did want more children, we were planning to wait a few years before trying. I am still not sure how we're going to swing this, but we do feel incredibly blessed to be having another baby. Like a few other mamas in our DDC, I still am in shock.

I love that Mexican proverb Jill, thanks so much for sharing that.