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6yr old toilet learning

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

Okay...I have read all the threads, or the ones I could find, about this...and none of them seem to be my issue.


We have four kids: 6, 5, 4, and 3. I know girls potty train earlier than boys. Mt 5yr girl old day time potty trained at 2, and then night time potty trained at 3. My 3 year old girl potty trained at 16months, and then night timed at 20months. My 4yr boy old is just day time potty trained. I am not comparing kids - just giving background incase its relevant.


My 6yr old boy - he doesnt bedwet. Bedwetting, from my research, implies some level of competence or knowledge at night. He isnt night time potty trained - at all. He is currently wearing the biggest sized disposables that are out there - and fills them up. If he sleeps in just a little bit he outpees them. We have tried the trainers, or whatever that go cold or are more like underwhere - and he outpees those within 3hours of going to sleep - but even when he does, he doesnt wake up. He just sleeps in his own wetness.


We have tried having him in underwhere and waking him up before we go to bed for a bathroom trip - but in the 2-3 hours between his bedtime and ours he has peed the bed.


We have tried eliminating water a certain number of hours before bedtime as well. It doesnt help.


Our 4yr old boy doesnt pee this much at night.


I am concerned that he will soon outgrow the biggest size disposables - we cant afford to special order diapers for him, and the diapers he is currently wearing are leaving little rashy bumps on his sides where the 'straps' are. He outgrew our cloth long ago. Nor can we send him to school smelling like pee if he just doesnt wear diapers.


Im at a loss for what to do. I know every kid does it on his/her own time. And I am not trying to rush him so I dont feel guilty or embarrassed. I just wonder...when should I worry that something is up? Shouldn't he be making some progress towards this? How do I help him?

post #2 of 8

My second ds wet the bed well into being age 9.  Your son can't control this.  It's not about cutting out water.  When you or I drink a ton of water, our body wakes us so we can go to the bathroom.  That's not happening with your son.  


We used Goodnights pull ups because they are made for much larger amounts of urine.  I know it's not fun, but try not to make a big deal out of it.  He will outgrow it and you don't want him to feel shamed. 


I am a little confused.  Are you saying he wets during the day too?  We had toilet issues for both boys with pooping.  They were both well into their 8-9 years before they stopped with some kind of poopy underwear.  

post #3 of 8

My 5.5 year old has been wearing the GoodNights for years now, over 2 years at least because she pees SOO much that they are the only thing that can hold that volume of urine. She has never once been dry at night and pees multiple times a night without having any idea. She also pees before I go to bed at night as well, I literally think she pees every 2-3 hours all night long. She takes off the GoodNights in the morning and they are like lead weights! It will get better, this is still very normal for this age. It has to do with a hormone that we produce to decrease the amount of urine our body makes at night, some people start producing that hormone early, say age 2, others could be age 8. 

post #4 of 8

What size diapers does he wear?  My daughter is 7 and the pull ups or goodnites dont work here either, they leaked ALL the time.  I currently use either size 6 or 7's from pampers.  Is he small for his age or average size?  I have taken her to her pedi numerous times so far for this issue and each time was told that there is nothing they can do and to just let her outgrow it.  I just couldnt let her lay in wet sheets all night long so I had to resort back to diapers.  Is your son embarrassed about wetting the bed?  My daughter isnt and isnt motivated to want to stop, or help herself stop for that matter. Without her being motivated, there is little I can do as a mom to help her stop if she doesnt want to help herself.



post #5 of 8
Thread Starter 

It is the goodnights he outpees - so we are in diapers as well, the size 7's - and he fills those up. He is only slightly ashamed, but has no desire or motivation to help himself or do it on his own. I agree - sleeping in wet sheets is just cruel...but I just dont know what I am going to do when he outgrows them. He is average size for his age.

post #6 of 8

Does he ever have accidents during the day or is this just a night time issue?  I have to fight with my daughter to go potty before bed and I also have to watch her like a hawk because she will sneak drinks past the time she is allowed to have anything.  Everytime I clean her room, I find hidden cups/glasses under her bed or in her closet.  She isnt motivated in the least to want to stop so that makes it ALOT harder to help her.  How can I help her stop if she doesnt even care she does it in the first place??  I just cant continue to let her lay in wet sheets all night and I cant continue washing them either.  There are times where she will go more then once a night so I had double the laundry to do in the morning....not fun at all.  She doesnt like the idea of having to wear a diaper as opposed to a pull up or goodnite but, I have run out of options here and its the ONLY thing thats helping with the stress level.  Even my family has made comments to me saying that she is too old for diapers but they arent the ones that have to deal with it day after day after day either. 



post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 

About a year maybe a year and a half ago he was having some issues during the day - but those seemed to clear up quickly, he was embarrassed - and I honestly felt bad for him :(


When DS obviously wets the bed, and his sheets are wet at night he wont even get up, he just lays awake or knowingly sleeps in the wetness. I feel so bad for him, but I dont know what to do. Which is why we, too, use diapers, but will grow out of those soon and I think the adult diapers will be too big. There have got to be some diapers out there for bigger kids, or some way I can get him to start this process.

post #8 of 8

I hope you dont mind, I sent you a personal message as it seems we have ALOT in common with our kids.  I would love to add you as a friend but have no idea how sorry.  My daughter also has had daytime issues and sometimes still does but its nowhere near as many as she had before.  Does he have a bedtime routine in place?  I try to stick to one here but when it comes to her trying to go potty before bed, forget it, she will flat out refuse demanding she doesnt have to go.  She will also sneak drinks knowing full well she isnt supposed to have anything to drink past a certain time.  Has he gone on any sleepovers with friends or family?  I dont allow her to go on any sleepovers until she stops and I dread having to spend the night elsewhere outside the home.  I always have to make special plans to avoid having to spend the night elsewhere but.....there are times when i just cant avoid it and its embarrassing for me.  I just want her to care that she does it, at least then, it would be easier for me to help her stop but right now, she could care less and that bothers me more then the actual wetting the bed itself.



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