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Mothering › Groups › November 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Miscarried last November, Pregnant again and really terrified!!!

Miscarried last November, Pregnant again and really terrified!!!

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

When I got pregnant the last time, I prayed everynight and really wanted to have a happy nine months.. it  didnt end that way and i had a mc in November of 2011. We found out last week that i was pregnant when i missed my period. Went for an u/s today, and the OB said that i'm about five weeks. All i saw was a tiny black spot. I went today because Iwasnt feeling really well, my initial appointment was for next week,.. but went anyway because I had a bad case of diarrhea and thats how my mc started back in November. The OB says dont worry, everything looks good. But i cant help but feel terrified. I dont want to be disappointed . I haven't prayed or relaxed or even breathed easy in the last week. Sometimes i feel fine and in the evenings i feel terrible. I'm excited but at the same time scared :(

Anyone else that has been through this and come out fine or survived??? Thanks for reading  and sorry for the negativity..i just need hope.

post #2 of 9

Yep, last time around, we tried for 10 months, got pregnant, then I miscarried at 7 weeks.  I got pregnant the very next cycle and had a healthy baby boy in May 2010.  I thought I handled it ok, but looking back it seems like the whole pregnancy was sort of dark-feeling.  I don't know if that's how you feel with every pregnancy after you've had a loss?  

 

So far this time, I'm feeling guarded -- it was a surprise, so I'm grouchy because I'm sick and tired, then terrified when I DON'T feel terrible.  

post #3 of 9

I've had 3 miscarriages, with my last one at 12 weeks, before I had any live babies. Honestly, I don't think that anxiety ever really goes away once you've had a loss. I know that's not what you want to hear, but if you look around at other mamas with losses, I think it's safe to say that most of us feel very anxious, even terrified, when we are pregnant again. No matter how many successful pregnancies we've had, once you've had a loss, it's very hard to feel safe.

 

We all have our own ways of working through our feelings. I hope you find your own healing path this pregnancy. Congratulations on expecting again!

post #4 of 9
I'm so sorry about your loss in November. There is a pregnancy after loss thread on here for all Mamas due this November.

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1347684/pregnancy-after-loss-november-2012-rainbow-babies

I wish you the best with this pregnancy.
post #5 of 9

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage.  I was soooo devastated and it took 3 years to get pregnant that first time and another 10 months to become pregnant again.  We needed fertility treatments.  It was such a roller coaster, and I was not a fun or happy person the whole time.  Then when we became pregnant again, I was an absolute ball of nerves.  I knew that I had to get it under some semblance of control so for my own and the baby's sake.  I did a lot of visualizing of a healthy happy fetus just burrowing in to my uterus.  I imagined a healthy green growing aura around my belly and tried to doing as much deep breathing as possible when I felt crazy worry.  I made my doctor do an ultrasound every 2 weeks until we were able to hear his heartbeat on the doppler and justified it based on the fact that I had a history of mc.  After everything looked good on the 20 week anatomy scan, I transferred to a birthing center and never looked back. I can honestly say that I'm not terribly worried about this pregnancy.  For one thing, I don't have nearly as much time to worry with a 10 month old.  For another thing, I just feel like I know that if I do lose this baby, he or she will come back to me somehow in the future.  That's how I look at it, and it helps me get through the dark thoughts that creep in.  Hugs to you.  I hope you can find some peace.  

post #6 of 9

(((hugs))) I'm right there with you. I m/c in December. I would have been 14 wks but baby had passed at 9wks. This time I'm super nervous and worried. I'm just trying to have faith this time and hopefully find some peace. Hang in there. Big Congrats!

post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 

HI girls, thanks for the words of encouragement. I really needed it. I'm feeling alot better today. Will try and look at everything from the middle road instead of just being so negative. I should be grateful:D huggs to all :)

 

post #8 of 9

Hugs mama. It's so hard to enjoy a pregnancy and relax when you have had a loss--you lose your innocence. DS2 was my rainbow baby, after 15mths of TTC and a 9w loss. But I am still trying to trust everything will be okay with this one, even with good betas and progesterone.

post #9 of 9

I'm right there with you! I miscarried last October and am just pregnant again (5 weeks). I'm having all sorts of anxiety about miscarrying again. It is really rough. I think I'm going to get an ultrasound in a few weeks when we can see the heartbeat. I'm hoping that will reassure me as that is about when the other baby stopped growing.

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