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Emotional Eaters and Being at Peace with Food - Page 3

post #41 of 55

I have been using Fitday, which, online can be kind of a pain, but it does offer downloadable version if you're so inclined.  I like it - it does help me realize where my needs aren't met, and identify poor eating trends. 

I am afraid I'm not going to be any help with how to avoid letting the counting take over.  I'm still working on that.  What has been working for me, sometimes, is to just design a few meals at the beginning of the week, enter them, and then don't count but also don't vary from those meals. 


Frankly, this week has not been the best.  I've been somewhat down in the dumps, and while I'm trying to pick myself up, I find myself eating potato chips.  (Really?  I don't like chips very much.  Why?)  And then I'm back to skipping meals.  And somehow, in my mind, this is OK because Little Miss is eating solids, so if my supply went away she'd be OK, right?  At 8 months old?  Then I'm subbing a marshmallow with peanut butter for lunch, because I'm crazy, crazy, CRAZY! and a bad mother, and then I'm back to skipping dinner because I ate a marshmallow because I am a crazy, bad mother. 


On the bright side, if thoughts were machines, I'd have invented a self-perpetuating machine.  Oh yeah.



post #42 of 55

Oh yes---the guilt! I remember feeling guilty about eating crap before I had my little one, but it's nothing like how I feel now when I realize that how/what I eat directly affects him and his health. I take some comfort in the fact that he does eat a pretty healthy diet now (he's 2, so only BFing for comfort, basically) but I was a guilt machine for the first year or so. Pretty vicious cycle!

post #43 of 55

I use myfitnesspal.com...that is, when I use it.  The nice thing is that there is a huge database of food and nutritional info.  Because we mostly do all our own cooking I usually pull something that sounds similar and go with that in terms of calories/carbs, etc.  We've been traveling and eating out for every meal (in the South...I ordered asparagus and it came deep fried), and my jeans are noticeably tighter now, which is the kick in the (fat)ass I need. 

post #44 of 55

I'm about a week before my period and this is when I go into constant-munch mode. We have a family reunion potluck tomorrow, food is already prepared. I am, as we speak, planning how to skim off the top so I can eat some tonight and it still look like a full, prepared dish tomorrow. I went to a friend's birthday party last night. Sour cream based dips have been my weakness for years. I've been off of it since January. Last night, I was absolutley sneaking into the kitchen (via bathroom, party was outside) and loading up a veggie with ranch dip.



I do have weight to lose and have been on WW for about 3 months. I mostly like it. I eat all of my daily points every day. I use about half of my weekly allowance and never get into my exercise points. I have figured out what is lower in points that I can pig out on. I don't find that healthy, either but obviously need more hand-holding to curb that habit. Life is so black and white for me. I am either 100% off the junk or 100% on it, binging 14 hours of the day.


Usually once AF actually starts these feelings go away and I can return to a healthier lifestyle. I just don't know how to deal with that week when I am feeling so out of control.

post #45 of 55

Ugh.  I go through the "Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?" portion of my month, while I'm ovulating, have a few "normal" days, and then become the destroyer of fridge stocks and diets before my period starts.  It's two weeks of feeling totally off the rails, some months.


Speaking of skimming food, we have a mouse in our house.  If there is a single bite missing from, say, a doughnut (just glad I never feel inclined to eat the whole thing!), someone will loudly declare that our local house-mouse is starting to become a real problem.  There was a time when I would hide food I had eaten part of.  I think it's healthier that now I just joke about it.  But it's taken years.



post #46 of 55
great thread. I have struggled with food since before I became a mom. I guess since I was 17 & went on the pill and gained fifteen pounds. 15 years, sigh.
I wonder if I can ever be relaxed about food or always mentally associate it with my muffin top, 25 times per day....
post #47 of 55
I am SO HAPPY to have found this thread today! I have been looking for a place to find support around getting healthy and happy in my body again post-pregnancy, but focused on mindful eating and compassion, intuition, and natural measures rather than restriction, competition (ugh), and other things that just don't work for me. I read he entire thread, and so much of what you all have said resonates with me. How would everyone feel about having a regular check-in via this thread, a place to talk openly and regularly about how we are doing, what practices and foods and ideas/mantras/meditations are working for us? Would posting meal/snack ideas and meals we have found healthy and enjoyable be fun and encouraging to people? I know most of us don't have much free time, so I am looking for a one-stop-shop for sharing, encouragement, accountability, and just support and fun. You guys seem like a like-minded group of women and it is a comfortable vibe. I see that this thread has been inactive tor a few weeks, so just want to see if people are still around and interested.

My deal: first baby has just turned 5 months old, baby girl, healthy and happy pregnancy that was the first period in my life where I truly felt free from the shackles of an unhealthy/worrisome/obsessive relationship with my weight and eating (other than some time I spent living in Europe in my early 20's when my hubs and I were wooing and I was too happy and distanced from my baggage to obsess about my body wink1.gif. I have a looooong history of disordered eating (my grandmother put me on my first diet when I was 3 and I finally kicked the binge eating and on again/off again bulimia at age 30, a few months before I got pregnant), and also a long hitory of on again/off again depression- big surprise wink1.gif Pregnancy to me was pure bliss with myself as a woman, and for the first time i truly focused on health instead of weight because for the first time in my life, weight loss was NOT a desirable outcome- healthy weight gain was a necessity-the liberation!!! I ate beautifully during pregnancy, pulling on my extensive knowledge of what foods are good for me, but also did not restrict indulgences. It was marvelously not black and white for me for the first time ever- since I knew I was getting my needs met with beautiful nutrition, and since weight loss was not the goal, I saw no reason that I should deprive myself of anything- and because of that, there was no need to binge and feel guilty and start the restriction cycle again. It was truly a celebration of new found freedom, compassion, and healthy moderation for those 42 weeks, and I grew a healthy, strong, 9 lb 15 oz baby girl : D (I shoud mention I am over 6 feet tall he he).

Jump to now, when the realities of new motherhood have reeeeaaallly taken a toll on my time and energy for self-care. I haven't returned to my destructive habits of binging and purging, I do eat healthfully for the most part in terms of the what and I do get reasonable amounts of exercise, but the how and how much I eat has really taken a hit- I know I am eating when not really hungry- and a few weeks ago I started to feel the emotional eating coming back. The depression has also been a challenge as I have watched my "time for me" part of life slip away with the arrival of a new baby. Spiritual pursuits, yoga, meditation, journaling, cooking, and reflection time alone were all a HUGE part of the path that brought me in tune with loving myself and healing before I had a baby, and it is so difficult to find the time or energy for those practices with a new baby.....that really scared me, I feared I had lost my way of being ok in the world. A few weeks ago I had a breakdown that showed me and my husband that we need to focus on making sure that I am implementing self-care regularly, it is just not an option to go without. My husband in incredibly supportive of my needs and has helped a lot.

The first step for me was to commit to a regular yoga practice again- I am now going to classes a few times a week at a studio nearby in tne evenings or on weekends when my husband can be home with LO (he works, I am on extended maternity leave and am home with baby). The food and eating part has been harder, mainly because of not having/finding the energy to seek/make the foods that work best for me, so I grab a lesser substitute, which I then eat more of because it wasn't satisfying, and then there is the guilt/resignation/low energy that causes me to make that choice again the next time. I need to break that cycle, and I really think that a community of moms will help in terms of support and just a place to check in to share triumphs-revelations etc.

I don't know how much I gained with the pregnancy- my holistic leaning doc was happy to just do the weigh ins for her monitoring in terms of what was healthy, but she did not tell me the numbers at my request- another reason my pregnancy was happily stress-free about weight smile.gif. I also did not weigh myself for a while after having my LO. When I did weigh in, 8-10 weeks after birth I think, I was 50 pounds above where I was when I got married, which is what I want to get back to (my weight had fluctuated up and down some in the year and a half between marriage and conception). The first 10 pounds of baby-weight came off easily enough once I was paying attention, but more than half of that then crept back up over the course of a difficult period. I do want to lose weight, but feeling healthy and happy in my skin and feeling fit, energized (relatively-ha), and compassionate towards myself with my relationship to food is way more important.

Sorry or the super long post, I guess I really needed to talk! So are you mamas around and interested???
post #48 of 55

 Im glad to have found this post as well.  I have been overweight since toddlerhood - i will soon be 43.  I have had periods of time where i was a more normal weight, but i dont think i have ever had a decent relationship with food.  Food has always been my best friend, but i was in my 30's before i realized that i am an obsessive compulsive overeater.   For the past 7 -8 years , i start out every January on some diet or another, make great progress, loose close to 30 lbs, feel great - imagine myself thin by the end of the year.....weight loss inevitably slows down around March.... by May im  regularly eating non-diet foods, by September i have gained all the weight back - then i slide nicely into 'the food season'  whereby its more socially acceptable to eat candy (Halloween)  pie (Thanksgiving)  and cookies (X-Mas)   by January my resolve comes back and i vow this year ill REALLY do it! 

In trying to stop this vicious  yearly cycle  - i recently put my bathroom scale in my shed.  It was a good decision.  I was totally obsessing about every little pound.  I weighed myself every day and if i went up a pound - or stayed the same, i would get enraged - and eat.   Im hoping i can keep my hands off the scale for a while and focus on eating portioned meals for a while!   I am finding it easier to find other things that i enjoy doing , (besides eating!)

post #49 of 55

SunshineMama80 - yes, I'm around and interested :) I haven't checked this thread in a while, but will do so more regularly if it picks up. 


A couple months ago I started Weight Watchers online and found it really helpful. I just needed to get into the groove with portion sizes...I had literally forgotten how much food I needed to be eating on a daily basis and with mealtimes being dominated by my 8month old, it was impossible to sit still and listen to my inner hungry/full voice to know when I was satisfied. Know what that's like? winky.gif Now that I'm back into good portion control habits I find myself just going with it. I haven't tracked my food for a week or so now. I will definitely cancel my membership with WW when it runs out at the end of the month. It was useful and helpful at the time but I don't want to be obsessively keeping track of my food for the rest of my life. (For me, I don't think that's a healthy way to live).


Something I've started this past week that has completely eliminated night-time snacking (which is usually my worst time for mindless comfort/boredom eating) is to exercise after the baby goes to bed. I used to think exercising at night was "bad" but hey, it's the ONLY TIME that really works for me. I have found it impossible to try and fit in exercise during the day. So my DH and I have decided to do a 1 hour workout from 8-9pm 3 times a week. It's great because I don't go overboard on dinner (don't want to be toooo full or else I'll feel gross during my workout) and I literally have zero desire to snack at night. How can I snack when the evening looks like this?: dinner, bedtime routine for babe, bedtime for babe, clean up the kitchen, exercise, shower, bed. Obviously we don't want every single night of the week to be like that but 3x a week is doable. 

post #50 of 55

Can I join?  I'm so happy to have found this thread!  It makes me feel a whole lot better to know that you all have the same problem with food that I do.  I truly feel like food is an addiction, and (as someone said on the older thread) it's hard to kick because you can't go all or nothing.  You can't quit food cold turkey and abstain because you have to eat to live.  For me it's just so difficult to stop eating when I'm full.  And when I'm even the slightest bit stressed, food is a huge comfort to me.  I'm not more than ten pounds overweight, but I think that's just because I have an amazing metabolism (got it from my mom).  I really think that I should be more like 50 pounds overweight with the amount of food I eat.  Anyway, people keep posting on this thread because I've really enjoyed reading all your posts and knowing I'm not the only one with this problem.


Someone above mentioned eating a lot the week before their period.  Yes, that is so me!  As soon as I start my period, I start feeling good again.  I can control my eating a bit.  I usually lose a few pounds the next two weeks.  I have a lot of energy and feel really sexy (and think everyone else is really sexy too redface.gif).  Then literally the day after I ovulate, it all goes down hill.  Emotionally and physically.  Sex drive goes really low and I want to eat all. the. time.



Things to do when I feel like eating:


take a bath

practice my fiddle

play a game with/read to my kids

clean the house

go on a walk/bike ride

post #51 of 55
Originally Posted by Maela View Post

Someone above mentioned eating a lot the week before their period.  Yes, that is so me!  As soon as I start my period, I start feeling good again.  I can control my eating a bit.  I usually lose a few pounds the next two weeks.  I have a lot of energy and feel really sexy (and think everyone else is really sexy too redface.gif).  Then literally the day after I ovulate, it all goes down hill.  Emotionally and physically.  Sex drive goes really low and I want to eat all. the. time.









I may have mentioned it back up there, but I eat when I'm frustrated.  So I'm trying to watch my frustration levels.  Then I get frustrated with myself because I'm frustrated.  I really take the whole thing to the level of "art form".  Heh.

post #52 of 55

I haven't posted to this thread in a while, but I've been on and off the wagon of good (and normal) eating for the past several months.  Its been ridiculous, really.  Anyway, I bit the bullet and started doing the whole30, which is essentially and extreme paleo/primal-type diet with no sugar (or any kind), grains, dairy, legumes, preservatives, or potatoes.  Our family generally eats grain-free except rice, but we do eat dairy and occasionally potatoes.  And bacon, which is hardly preservative-free.  My big, big issue was sugar.  Anyway, its only day 5, but honestly, I feel great, and I don't obsessively think about food like I used to, which is huge to me.  Tonight I made DH a hot chocolate, which for us is basically chocolate chips melted into milk/half-and-half (I know...), and not only did I not eat a handful or two of chips, I didn't really want to.  Total. Milestone.  Anyway, I know from past experience that cutting sugar and white food completely eliminates my cravings for it, but I'm wondering if dairy (cheeeeeese!!!) might have been a trigger for me too.  The objective is to eat this way for 30 days and be fully committed to see how you feel at the end.  I'll keep you posted, but so far things look good!

post #53 of 55

Yay Crayfishgirl!  I am also mostly grain-free.  Grains were pretty easy for me to give up (except some corn every now and then - I love corn on the cob!), but sugar is my problem just like you.  HUGE problem.  Going primal helped with that a bit, but I still cheat often with sugar.  


Anyway, after reading this thread and some of the older one, I decided not to make any more rules for myself.  Like a previous poster mentioned, I make a whole new set of rules for myself every few days.  I do well the first couple of days following the rules, and then I rebel and end up gaining weight instead of losing.  Then I say to myself, Okay here are my new rules - this is the one that'll work!  It's ridiculous.  rolleyes.gif     So I decided to take it easy.  Still very few grains (they hurt my stomach) and very little sugar.  But that's it. 



Today I did very well.  Especially considering DH is gone tonight, and I usually go crazy with the overeating (especially of junk food) when there's no one here to make me feel embarrassed.  DH is great about my eating habits (meaning he never says anything mean/teasing about it), but I still think that he must be thinking it.  How could he not be just a little disgusted with my eating habits?  I am.


So I'm finishing up my glass of wine and then climbing into bed...



Oh another thing that keeps me from eating when I'm not hungry - music!  I love music, so I put some on and sing and dance around the house with the kids, and then I forget about food.  

post #54 of 55

Eliminating 'White Food"  is a great thing to do - it does reduce cravings!  back in the 90's my now EX DH  was a patient of Dr. Atkins (yes THE Dr. Atkins)  and he gave him his diet to go on - i was SO skeptical but my EX lost more than 100 lbs ...i started it a few months after him and lost about 110 lbs as well - it was basically the same as Primal - but Primal / Paleo does focus on the quality of meat you eat, Atkins didnt. 

I am about to pack up my family and drive back to my parents house for a visit - havent been 'home' in 2 years - many members of my family havent even met my youngest son.  I know i will not be able to control poor eating habits while visiting my parents....i dont even try.  I can only hope i can get back on the wagon when we get home next week. 

Has anyone else sought out (or found) a therapist?  I was seeing someone who supposedly specialized in eating disorders - she really wasnt very good!  I am looking for a new one - i find it so hard to start a dialogue with a prospective new therapist - i never know what to say!   Its hard to make 'hi, im an obsessive compulsive over eater, child of an alcoholic, mother of three, feeling like i am entering a mid-life crisis - can you help me??"  sound smooth!  ROTFLMAO.gif

post #55 of 55
Well I have a funny bit to share (sooooo funny...not)

Recently I was CONVINCED I was pregnant. I went for a blood test and the few days between getting it done and waiting for my results, I ate like..mmmm...everything. I ate 'well' because I was thinking of the growing baby, but just WAYYYYYYY too much. So it turns out I'm not pregnant. My hunger was totally Psycological. Silly me. Oh well.
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