How much alone time should a stay at home mom expect? - Page 2

[CD'sMom]

If it helps at all I can promise it wont be as intensive as it is when they are infants/toddlers. I have a 7 year old and a 12 year old. They are old enough that I can be like Hey I'm going to shower and they can take care of themselves while I take 20-30 minutes to myself. And sometimes thats all I need to feel better/refreshed. It is hard to get time alone as a SAHM. But it wont be that way forever...I promise. ;)

[mamazee]

We don't have a schedule, and I'm away from kids sometimes, but when they were little and nursing frequently and/or had separation anxiety and I was getting burned out, we did some of the following:

1. He'd wake up with them at least one weekend morning and I'd get to sleep in as long as I wanted. He could bring the baby in to nurse and take her away afterward if she needed to nurse during that time.

2. Solitary baths. A soak alone in the tub does wonders for me.

3. Grocery shopping alone. No kids. I loved grocery shopping alone.

He would take them at other times too but the reality of nursing and separation anxiety caused our separations to be short and few. The older they got, the easier it got.

[bellyfruit]

There has been a lot of good advice given here.  I need time to myself every day.  I am no fun to be with if I do not take a break in the afternoon to read or go online, and take a bath at night once dh is home.  When I leave the house alone (maybe weekly) I feel wonderful!  

I would just add that I found it was my role to make my own space.  And it was up to us as parents to show the babies that we trust they are okay staying with their dad- simply by me leaving them with him:)  

Sometimes I think we attached parents are so in tune with the babies cues that we end up having them lead the family.  But really kids need parents to lead the way to a balanced family life. 

[pickle18]

Originally Posted by bellyfruit 

Sometimes I think we attached parents are so in tune with the babies cues that we end up having them lead the family.  But really kids need parents to lead the way to a balanced family life.     

Thank you for this!!!  (also, love the name )  I need to remember this myself.  DS is 12 months old and high needs.  DH is up and out before we get up and home by 7ish most nights.  If I am lucky (and remember to nag DH as soon as he gets home!) I can get a shower...and sometimes even shave, haha.

True, alone me time is non-existent - what I do consider "me time" is reading a book or getting on MDC while baby is napping (because he still needs me right there during naps, so...can't do much else! And I need the break to re-charge).  As DS gets older, he is starting to be more comfortable with DH for lil stretches (10-15 min.) - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel here, with me being able to (finally!) escape for an art or yoga class.  And of course, DH does help take turns (we "tag out" when we've had it and need to switch! Still family time, but we switch who is responsible for following him around at the moment...) during the weekends and he helps some most evenings.

eta: DH and I didn't really take time to ourselves much as a couple (we hang out alot, same friends/interests, etc.) so now it's just definitely not happening.  If one of us is watching the babe, the other is usually running around frantically trying to catch up on chores!

Once, I did get to drive to the health food store at night (for cat food) all by myself - it was MAGICAL!!!