Balancing NICU baby and Mother's recovery from birth

[kwoodchuck]

Hi there, 

I have a 1 wk old DD in the NICU (Seattle Children's) now with a very serious heart defect (obstructed TAPVR).  I had her at almost 42 weeks, so she's relatively big and strong...this was my HBAC birth, my first vaginal one, and I had 3rd degree tearing.  So, I've got to spend a lot of time lying flat and recovering, which means I can't go see my baby very much.  It's awful.  It's pretty stressful on my bod to go see her though...the chairs/sitting situation is very uncomfortable and takes its toll.  I have a hard time deciding...should I go see her today?  Balancing my recovery needs against the need to be there.  My bleeding picked up today so I didn't go. She's on the edge of life every day...we never know if she's going to make it or not. :(  

I'm wondering how many others have had to deal with a similar situation and how did things go?

[pigirl]

Oh, hon, that sounds so incredibly difficult.  I haven't been in that situation and I don't have any wise words of advice, but I couldn't read this and not send a hug your way.  I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.  I hope you and your daughter recover as quickly as possible, and that you find some peace during all the decisions you have to make along the way.  (Maybe the NICU will have some suggestions for how to get you more comfortably/safely visiting your daughter?  You can't be the first mom they've had in this situation....)

[jocelyndale]

Definitely talk to your baby's nurse (and different ones will have different advice).  Perhaps a recliner is available rather than the regular chairs.  Perhaps you can use a wheelchair to move within the hospital.  The isolettes usually raise/lower, so if you can find a comfortable way to sit near her, her isolette can be lowered so that you can see her while you sit with her.  

[fruitfulmomma]

Do you have a boppy? Sitting on it rather that directly on the chairs might relieve some stress on you peri/bottom area.

[otheramerica]

So sorry you're dealing with this difficult situation. I also had a full-term baby in the NICU. I would second the suggestion of speaking with the NICU nurses.  Let them know that you want to spend time with your daughter but find it difficult to get comfortable.  When we were in the NICU the furniture situation was difficult because the vent and other machines took up so much space, but they worked with me as best they could. Maybe they would let you use some of those instant ice packs and you could sit on one while you are there. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need/want.  I used a wheelchair to get from the car the unit every day except when the day Paul went home.  

It is incredibly hard to decide between going to the hospital and staying home to rest.  You are stronger than you think you are, and no one is judging you.  I had to keep reminding myself of those things.  Sorry again that you are dealing with this. Praying strength for you and healing for your little one.