My daughter has always been like this, almost from day one. At 7 I think I'm finally finding ways to comfort her and for her to feel safe being close to me when she is crying. She does appreciate it, but she resists so much and when we can finally connect and find some kind of closeness she will finally melt and calm down. This is new, and so I feel like we are finally finding a way to be close to each other without overstepping her boundaries.
Anyway, I don't need advice so much as commiseration from others who have children just like this. Your stories will help with our journey, I'm sure.