Says it all! I really hate the way things are. I feel like I'm in a job with no days off.. no hours off, really. I am never not working.
I take care of the kids (3.5 yo and 14 mo), feed and dress them, nurse and diaper DD, take them to the park (we live in a scary apartment, I cannot let them play outside here) pretty much every day, go to museums and zoos and etc etc etc, cook and clean, do the grocery shopping, do the budget and pay the bills, plan our family outings, plan our family trips (our friends and family live 3 hours away and we visit once/month), I bathe the kids and put them to bed. I nighttime parent and partially cosleep with DD, who is not nightweaned. I am too tired to attempt to nightwean her because I'm at home on my own overnight.
DH cooks once a week. He takes out the trash (sometimes). He does the laundry (except the dipes). He takes the kids out for a few hours on Saturday mornings... and while that sounds like a break, it's because Saturdays are my long run day. Running is my passion, my only hobby or activity, and I only take like 45 minutes twice a week, and then a long one Saturday because I am training for a marathon. But at this rate, I feel like I am losing this time too and am on the brink of giving up running.
Here's our schedule: DH works 11pm-7am, is with us from about 730 am (when we wake) until 1 pm and then goes to bed. I am on my own with the kids for the rest of the day and night until he gets home from work the next day at 730 am. He has two days a week off, and sleeps at night with us on those days, so he has to take a lengthy nap in the middle of the first day. There's also the issue that his job is unpredictable and sometimes instead of 730 am is 930.. or 1030..
I feel like DH being with us 5 hours/day should give some sort of relief but it doesn't. He's tired coming off of work and doesn't want to take care of the kids on his own, plus he wants time with me. I also want time with him, but gee, I would love some time away from the kids. I have even considered working part time just to get away (seriously!) but I literally make what childcare costs around here (who knew childcare was so outrageous?!) and I just can't reconcile sending my kids to some random place I don't trust at all, having to leave their mama, so I can do a pointless job where I'll have a "break".
I hate feeling like a martyr... like I'm doing everything for everyone and nothing for myself. How do SAHP's find time for themselves? How do you negotiate more household responsibility with your partner?! HELP!
ETA: DH wants to help me change this. He wants me to have some more freedom, but neither of us can come up with any realistic ideas.