Sigh of relief! Dating scan today with HB! « Back to Group Discussions

[Babinogi]

I had my dating scan today and I am soooooo relieved to say that all is well with my little bean.  Strong heart beat and all limbs and parts formed.  Cute bean was in a reclining position first with legs crossed at the ankles then brought it's hands up to his/her face and turned on its side.  My husband and I just melted.

With first sight of baby bean's profile, I was stunned at how much it looked like my husband. He couldn't help but notice it too!

Amazing how a grey ultrasound image could convey this, but it did. No dangly bits, but midwife said you can't see gender at this point.

We are so happy to know our bean is strong.  It's long legs, toes and fingers suggests that it takes after me and my dad in that department, but definitely has my husband's profile.

I'm glad the midwife was quick and didn't linger in the process. I wasn't too crazy about having the ultrasound but just wanted piece of mind. I can't stop looking at the photos!

Told parents today - a bit stressful because my mom started becoming over-prescriptive....how do you tell your parents in a nice way that you really don't want them present at the birth, you just want to be alone with your husband? How can I keep sane in my bubble of happiness with my husband without everyone else projecting their weird issues at me, but not make them feel left out.  Can anyone relate?

[icy02]

Congrats! Glad everything is well with you LO.

As for telling you parents you don't want them at the birth - I would be honest and upfront about it. Tell them you and your DH want to do the birth alone, but they can come visit once you all get settled. No one in my or DH's family were upset by this when we had our first baby. I think they kind of expected it. Good luck!

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

Yay!  That is wonderful news and I am sure it has eased your mind quite a bit!  

We asked my mom to be there for DS's birth and after that experience do NOT want her to be at this one.  If we have our home birth, it's also just not logical for her and my father to be staying with us then anyways.  She totally does not understand this though and we are continuing to argue about how things went with DS's birth and how her arguing with me for much of my labor caused things to stall out.  She still insists my labor stalled because I wouldn't listen to her....and yeah it wouldn't have anything to do with her stressing me out at all.  Anyways, I really am also struggling with how to tell her we don't want her here till afterwards without totally hurting her feelings as well.  She always says she is so bonded with my son because she was there for his birth....so she's taking it as a personal afront every time we start to tell her we don't want her there this time.  So yeah, I get you on the trying to find a nice way to tell your parents you don't want them there thing.

[OkiMom]

We lived across the country and then on the other side of the globe from his family when I had the babies.. This is the "closest" we have lived to my in-laws and they are 10+ hour drive away from us.. I'm so glad! I know they would make a huge stink about wanting "to be in the room" when I have the baby and I'm not comfortable with that. I asked the extra nurse to leave with my last birth because I really don't like extra people milling around. Also, my MIL wants me husband's attention if she is in the same room as him, it wouldn't matter if I was giving birth, so it would cause a TON of drama. I'm so glad we live so far away its never been possible for them to cause a fuss.. The last two we didn't even tell them when I went into labor because with our first my MIL was calling every 10-20 minutes to ask if I had the baby yet. Honestly, thanks for causing issues from across the country.. I don't really care if you wanted the baby to come before you got to work, I'm not doing things on your time schedule!!

Id just be plain with them "Its only going to be DH and myself until XX number of hours/days after the baby comes. We don't want anyone in the delivery room, we will call when the baby is born so you know all is OK and you can come XX number of days/hours afterwards to met the baby". Simple, to the point. If they insist then just don't tell them when you go into labor and turn off your cell phone.

[Babinogi]

Wow, this it is sooooo amazing to hear all the similar sentiments regarding parents and inlaws insisting on being at the birth and how for many, it is just NOT a good idea.

I live in Wales, and am from the USA, so my parents would come over here - which I'd rather they come a month after the baby is born when everything is settled. If they lived down the road it would be a different story, they can see the baby the day after. But I don't want to have an audience when I'm giving birth.

I'm glad to hear all your stories so I don't let them persuade me otherwise.  I don't want a party at my house in the run up to giving birth - that's what I said, and my mother said, "i'll stay at a hotel".  But my mother is not a very independent person when travelling she will need help with this and that and the focus will be on keeping her happy - she is very high maintence - So I know what you mean about OKIMom about someone wanting to be the center of attention even when you are giving birth. 

On a more positive note.  I'm so in love with this bean. My husband and I can't stop talking about it!
Here is a photo from our ultrasound.  Anyone have any gender guesses?

[Angelorum]

With my first we lived about 14 hours away from both of our families, but MIL was our midwife, so obviously she was there!  I felt kind of bad about it, like I was leaving out my mom, but we were having a homebirth, my mom is already kind of high strung, and she was a little worried about me staying home.  When I talked to her about it, she really wanted to come down and be there, but she also had plenty of commitments at home, and as I pointed out, there are 4-5 weeks of time where it would be normal to deliver, how would she know when to come?  My family ended up coming down about 5 weeks after my due date (they would have come then anyway to drop my younger sister off at college).  I had tons of pictures and videos from the labor/birth and I showed them all to my mom and told her all the details about the whole birth experience.  Afterwards she said she felt much more included and glad I had wanted to share. 

This time I'll be at most 3 or 4 hours away from my family.  I haven't decided who I want there.  I'd like my mom to be able to be there, but only if she's not giving off nervous energy.  I think she's a little more comfortable with the homebirth thing this time around.  I'm planning on asking her how she's feels about it, and I think she'll be understanding if I don't want her there.  She was great at my sister's hospital birth.  She will at least be able to visit a lot sooner postpartum this time.  MIL will be our midwife again.  If my mom doesn't come, we will definitely have pictures for show and tell afterwards. 

[Babinogi]

Hello Angelorum,

I completely know where you are coming from! I love my mother but she is a big worrier and has a very, very nervous disposition and it puts me on edge and gets me nervous.

I hate to me mean and say that I don't want her there, but I'm going to have to. Perhaps a day or two after the birth, but it will be my first and I want some time to bond with the baby with my husband and keep this precious moment to ourselves at first.  I hope she understands.

Keep me posted on how things go!