Yeah, I agree.
Here's how I see it: Each partner is responsible to give 100%. Overall, I know I give 100% and I know DH gives 100%. Some days that doesn't look equal. I guess it's more of a feeling than an actual, quantifiable thing. I let DH sleep in pretty much daily (and he'll sleep till about 1pm most days cause he doesn't get to bed till 4am or so - he's a bartender). He also spends a lot of time on his computer, because he has lots of projects he does on it, and a lot of plans that involve making a website, etc. Anyway, he NEEDS those things. Sleeping in, having x number of hours on the computer. However, I don't feel that his getting those necessities costs me any of MY needs. I am fortunate that baby care comes very naturally to me, and that I have a very easy baby. That's just luck of the draw. I also know that if I ever truly hit a wall -- and I have -- DH will IMMEDIATELY pick up the slack. There have been a handful of mornings (maybe 5) when I've woken him up at 7:30 and said "Take the baby, I can't do it this morning." And he immediately gets up, takes her out of the room, and lets me sleep till she needs to eat (usually till 9:30 or 10 - heaven!).
I could write many pages on how our household duties actually break down day-to-day, but what it comes down to is that I know DH is giving me and KJ everything he's got, and I give him and KJ everything I've got, and in there we also give ourselves the time we need when it's necessary. DH needs more time to himself than I do, and again, that's just a luck-of-the-draw thing that I don't need as much "me-time" to feel like I'm thriving. It makes for a pretty harmonious balance.
I don't know how it would be if KJ woke more often in the night, or if DH hated his job and were miserable, or if we had a colicky or spirited baby. Overall, for first-time parents, we truly have it easy. And I also don't feel like taking care of the baby is keeping me from other things I want to do -- in my life, all I've ever wanted was a baby, and now that she's here, all I want to do is be with her. That's just my personality - it isn't right or wrong. And I also feel insane gratitude towards DH for working, because I want to be a SAHM more than anything and he works his you-know-what off to make sure I can have that dream.