*~*~*~*April Pagan Family Thread~*~*~**~**~ - Page 8

[vydalea]

THE DANG SMILEY THINGY IS MESSED UP AGAIN THIS MORNING!! how am I supposed to get my message across without cute emoticons?? hahaha.  I guess I'll just have to use *archaic* WORDS. heeheehee.
 

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

"Heard back this morning from the agent that showed your house yesterday. His client still has a lot of interest after seeing it, and only had one question about the stain above the shower stall. I told him it had been fixed, but the tile was just never replaced or re-painted. I said they could look at it during an inspection if they wanted to. Throw ALL of your good energy out there! I hope this pans out for you....I'll keep you posted if I hear anything more."

ohhhhhhh, crossed fingers, toes, eyes, legs, arms and anything else I can manage to cross!!!!  happy, positive, sell, sell, sell, YES YES YES energy!!! gah!!!

Originally Posted by 3xMama 
Why is it that some parents seem to have it down to a science and have these cherubs and some (like myself) run around with their hair falling out, screaming at their imp children?! Ugh! 

They don't - you just catch them in the cherubic moment.  Either that or they have scared them into submission OR they are aliens.  Probably the last one.

How's your dad feeling?  And, yes, I would LOVE the recipe for the clam chowder!  

Last night I had a crazy dream that dredged up baaaaad situations from, like, 14 years ago.  Now I'm spending so much mental time trying to remind myself I'm not that person anymore, I can't change the past, yadda yadda.  Wish I had a brain eraser sometimes, though I know everything we go through makes us who we are - it would be nicer to just remember shadows and not vivid moments.  blech.  
 

[revolting]

I tried to use a smiley and instead my computer ate my post, so sorry for anyone I forget.

Big hugs to Lioness!

I hear you on sibling fighting, 3X. We've had a spell lately of decreased fighting, but I know its only a lull.

HAs anyone started thinking about Beltane yet? It's only in two weeks.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by 3xMama Why is it that some parents seem to have it down to a science and have these cherubs and some (like myself) run around with their hair falling out, screaming at their imp children?! Ugh!

I don't know...sigh. I have always been "That Mom" who had to leave the playground because of my son's outrageous behavior.

Originally Posted by vydalea THE DANG SMILEY THINGY IS MESSED UP AGAIN THIS MORNING!! how am I supposed to get my message across without cute emoticons?? hahaha.  I guess I'll just have to use *archaic* WORDS. heeheehee.

ohhhhhhh, crossed fingers, toes, eyes, legs, arms and anything else I can manage to cross!!!!  happy, positive, sell, sell, sell, YES YES YES energy!!! gah!!!

Thank you all for the house selling vibes! My realtor said she hasn't heard back yet, but she is going to call again later today. OMG I am so ready for a SALE!!!

Smiley thing-- took me awhile to figure it out, but the ESC button will take you back to pre-trying-to-get-smileys page, without losing material.

Quote:

Originally Posted by revolting HAs anyone started thinking about Beltane yet? It's only in two weeks.

The public ritual is the day after ds gets back from his week-long school camping trip. I am excited! I was supposed to visit M during that week, but he was working at the time we decided NOT to get tix to visit, and now he's unemployed and I could have five whole days with him, and I already told people I'm not going. Gah. Well-- I'm supposed to go up Memorial Day weekend, but I am not going to get tix until I hear from the realtor. No sense in getting visiting tix when I expect to be living there!

But wait-- I can still get tix. I can go apartment-hunting then!

See how I am all expectant that this will pan out? Ye Gods, I am so ready. Sell, house, sell!

[3xMama]

Originally Posted by vydalea 

They don't - you just catch them in the cherubic moment.  Either that or they have scared them into submission OR they are aliens.  Probably the last one.

How's your dad feeling?  And, yes, I would LOVE the recipe for the clam chowder!  

Last night I had a crazy dream that dredged up baaaaad situations from, like, 14 years ago.  Now I'm spending so much mental time trying to remind myself I'm not that person anymore, I can't change the past, yadda yadda.  Wish I had a brain eraser sometimes, though I know everything we go through makes us who we are - it would be nicer to just remember shadows and not vivid moments.  blech.  
 

I try to remember that I *do* only catch them in cherubic mode. I just read through parenting philosophy sometimes and all the positive good stuff that comes from these parenting philosophy and wonder why it doesn't seem to work out so perfectly for me??! And then I try to remember that they are only showing the good results for a reason and that there are still times when those parents want to pull their hair out, too!

My dad is doing well, thanks! He had his six week follow up today but I've not talked to him. Hopefully he will be able to start transitioning from a walker to a cane and be able to put more than 1/3 of his body weight on it. That would be awesome!

I will have DH write out the recipe in the next few days. He works doubles today and tomorrow so it will probably be Friday before I get it to you. :)

*hugs* Sorry about your dream. I think there are things we would all like to forget. Those are super hard to accept and let go. :/

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

I don't know...sigh. I have always been "That Mom" who had to leave the playground because of my son's outrageous behavior.

The public ritual is the day after ds gets back from his week-long school camping trip. I am excited! I was supposed to visit M during that week, but he was working at the time we decided NOT to get tix to visit, and now he's unemployed and I could have five whole days with him, and I already told people I'm not going. Gah. Well-- I'm supposed to go up Memorial Day weekend, but I am not going to get tix until I hear from the realtor. No sense in getting visiting tix when I expect to be living there!

But wait-- I can still get tix. I can go apartment-hunting then!

See how I am all expectant that this will pan out? Ye Gods, I am so ready. Sell, house, sell!

*hugs* I've had to leave my fair share of places, too. I think its just kids in general. 

Sell sell sell!!

Beltane...wow I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm sure it will be one Pagan holiday DH will be very willing to get involved in, though!!

[LionessMom]

maia- yay for good feelings about selling your house. i hope it goes well for you!

Originally Posted by vydalea 

They don't - you just catch them in the cherubic moment.  Either that or they have scared them into submission OR they are aliens.  Probably the last one.

exactly. sometimes my kids are perfectly well behaved. that is when i take the pics of them. lol. the rest of the time they are crazy all over the place hellions. 

thanks everybody about the ideas about how i was feeling. i am working them out and will use some of your ideas to help. i am going to go see my grandma tomorrow to see how she is doing. my aunt has been staying with her but has to leave for home on sun. my mom works during the day, but summer is coming up and i will be able to go over during the day. but i will have a new baby first of july and so i will need recovery time. my DS will have his license back by then so i will have him drive over by himself sometimes to help her. 

[vydalea]

 <---- smilies are back!!  THANK GOD/DESS!!!  

3x: Awesome news about your dad!  yahoo!  

Thanks for the notes on the herb garden, who knows what I will do, though I guess I should decide soon.  I feel like anything that is perennial can't live in our garden because DH is a rototilling maniac - haha.  The second the earth is unfrozen he's out there turning the earth.  I love him for it, of course, but perennials will not survive.  I'll have to think about this more.  It's like I had grand ideas and now that it's time to implement everything is changing.  That's life, though!  Got our potatoes in the mail this weekend!!  Wahoo!!  It's my first year growing them.  

LionessMom: more hugs for you...and your grandma, too!  Once I heard something along the lines "things don't get better, they get different" so I hope that your family finds peace during this transition.  

Originally Posted by revolting 

HAs anyone started thinking about Beltane yet? It's only in two weeks.

revolting: waaaaait a minute... I am totally late for the party - how did I miss that you are expecting!?  I just realized it from your signature!!  CONGRATS, mama!!    Hooray for babies!!  

Funny, I was just thinking about Beltane yesterday before I came on and saw your post.  Mostly my thought was "that's coming up, I should plan something..." and then the thought went away.  I'd love to make a MayPole with Z.  I remember my kindergarten teacher making May Day baskets with us and telling us that we had to hang them on someone's doorknob, ring the doorbell and run away.  Hmm... What is everyone else doing?  I need some ideas to *borrow!!* ha. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

The public ritual is the day after ds gets back from his week-long school camping trip. I am excited! I was supposed to visit M during that week, but he was working at the time we decided NOT to get tix to visit, and now he's unemployed and I could have five whole days with him, and I already told people I'm not going. Gah. Well-- I'm supposed to go up Memorial Day weekend, but I am not going to get tix until I hear from the realtor. No sense in getting visiting tix when I expect to be living there!

But wait-- I can still get tix. I can go apartment-hunting then!

See how I am all expectant that this will pan out? Ye Gods, I am so ready. Sell, house, sell!

Oh, Maia!!!!! I hope you are going apartment hunting SSOOOOONNN!!!!!!!!!!!  

Z and I just got back from a good ol' errand trip.  It was *awesome* because it was a trip to AC Moore where they were having excellent sales on ribbon.  The old owners of this house left this garden-arch-trellis which I have decided to cover in ribbons for an outdoor altar area.  It's in a cozy little spot, tucked beneath these excellent old pines and the Norwegian maple.  It was fun forr Z to help pick out the ribbon colors.  pink, yellow, orange, blue, green and one that has rainbows and clouds all over it.  So I hope I can work this out.   I love little projects.  I have about 6 of them for the backyard this summer. 

I also bought a new pillow since Z puked on mine this weekend and I was due for a new one anyway.  I love new pillows!!!!  

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by 3xMama *hugs* I've had to leave my fair share of places, too. I think its just kids in general. 

No, it's not...all my mama friends who were friends with me back then remember my son on playgrounds. They all still don't get why my child acted like he did. I called all the other kids "velcro kids" because they all stuck to their moms. All those moms got to hang around the sand box and talk. I had to shadow my son or he'd have killed himself running into the road, or walking off the fireman's pole 6 feet off the ground.

None of my other friends' kids attacked their best friend from behind on their birthday.

Thankfully he has pretty much grown out of that kind of thing. Mostly.

Originally Posted by vydalea Oh, Maia!!!!! I hope you are going apartment hunting SSOOOOONNN!!!!!!!!!!!  

Damn, mamas...the person decided not to offer

But the realtor who showed it is going to bring other people by because he thinks it's an awesome house, so I'm still hopeful. I'm really more dejected than I thought I'd be, though.

[3xMama]

Originally Posted by vydalea 

 <---- smilies are back!!  THANK GOD/DESS!!!  

3x: Awesome news about your dad!  yahoo!  

Thanks for the notes on the herb garden, who knows what I will do, though I guess I should decide soon.  I feel like anything that is perennial can't live in our garden because DH is a rototilling maniac - haha.  The second the earth is unfrozen he's out there turning the earth.  I love him for it, of course, but perennials will not survive.  I'll have to think about this more.  It's like I had grand ideas and now that it's time to implement everything is changing.  That's life, though!  Got our potatoes in the mail this weekend!!  Wahoo!!  It's my first year growing them.  

Z and I just got back from a good ol' errand trip.  It was *awesome* because it was a trip to AC Moore where they were having excellent sales on ribbon.  The old owners of this house left this garden-arch-trellis which I have decided to cover in ribbons for an outdoor altar area.  It's in a cozy little spot, tucked beneath these excellent old pines and the Norwegian maple.  It was fun forr Z to help pick out the ribbon colors.  pink, yellow, orange, blue, green and one that has rainbows and clouds all over it.  So I hope I can work this out.   I love little projects.  I have about 6 of them for the backyard this summer. 

I also bought a new pillow since Z puked on mine this weekend and I was due for a new one anyway.  I love new pillows!!!!  

Thanks! And a further update on my dad: He can put weight on his right leg now but it is so weak from not being used that he can't walk without the walker yet. So another several weeks of walker use and then he will slowly start to transition to the cane. But all the hardware looks good and he's feeling pretty good! Still having muscle pain but nothing like what he was having before the surgery. Yay! I'm so happy for him that its coming through. 

Maybe sectioning off an area of the garden for herbs would work for you. That way you still only have one garden but your hubby knows his boundaries and doesn't till it all up next spring!

Ohh, your outdoor altar sounds amazing! We have a lovely oak in our backyard that just begging for something. We live in a cookie cutter neighborhood though so I don't want it to be too showy and nothing has really presented itself. I like what you are doing though! A little retreat like that will be awesome!

Mmm, new pillows are amazing. 

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

Damn, mamas...the person decided not to offer

But the realtor who showed it is going to bring other people by because he thinks it's an awesome house, so I'm still hopeful. I'm really more dejected than I thought I'd be, though.

 Damn. Hopefully soon. Does your realtor have any idea why its taking so long to sell? Any tips or tricks? Maybe its time for a new realtor...

Revolting--I totally missed that you were pregnant!! I figured you were asking about pregnancy altars because you were TTC! Congratulations, mama!! 

Well, we've had several interesting days between DH and I. I really don't want to talk about it, at all with anyone, but some positive energy would be nice. To clarify, DH and I aren't arguing, its just life being...well....life....So far April has not at all been what I've been hoping for. Is life always this way? Where it seems like storm clouds gather monthly and you never get ahead? I keep thinking that if we just had some more money, if just a few more years when we have money, but will that actually help or will it just be other things then? And if it is other things, how does one get to the point of being able to roll with it and not constantly be completely stressed out?? Gah, enough deep thinking! Need to get on with cleaning, I've ignored it for too many days! 

Have a great day!!

[vydalea]

Rah!   How very disappointing that the prospective buyers didn't snap up the house, Maia.  It's great that the realtor that showed the house thinks it's awesome!  Some new blood!  What a let down, though.  Real Estate is such an emotional rollercoaster. 

The outdoor altar is looking interesting.  I got the ribbons on it and the plan today is to add some bells up the side where there are diamond shaped holes.  It will shape itself up slowly. 

*HUGS* and loving, positive energy, 3x. 

I guess if money is the true root of the problem then when you have more it will help.  I feel like I have spent a lot of time in the past year (okay, lifetime!) trying to see the root of the anger and guilt that I feel sometimes (not that you're angry, just in my situation) and instead of trying to use mantras to ignore it (since it always comes back) I'm trying to examine the shadows and deal with the darkness and find mantras that help me shed light on that.  If that makes sense.  ?  That may have nothing to do with whatever you're experiencing. 

I'm in a cleaning mode this morning, too.  Scrubbed the hell out of my tea kettle.  THAT FELT GOOD!!  haha.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by 3xMama  Damn. Hopefully soon. Does your realtor have any idea why its taking so long to sell? Any tips or tricks? Maybe its time for a new realtor...

Revolting--I totally missed that you were pregnant!! I figured you were asking about pregnancy altars because you were TTC! Congratulations, mama!! 

Well, we've had several interesting days between DH and I. I really don't want to talk about it, at all with anyone, but some positive energy would be nice. To clarify, DH and I aren't arguing, its just life being...well....life....So far April has not at all been what I've been hoping for. Is life always this way? Where it seems like storm clouds gather monthly and you never get ahead? I keep thinking that if we just had some more money, if just a few more years when we have money, but will that actually help or will it just be other things then? And if it is other things, how does one get to the point of being able to roll with it and not constantly be completely stressed out?? Gah, enough deep thinking! Need to get on with cleaning, I've ignored it for too many days! 

No, she's really working her tookas off for me...SHE isn't supposed to be showing it. OTHER people are. She's my realtor, as a seller's agent, and she has been contacting buyer's agents, and she told me how she's been individually calling them because she knows how overwhelmed with emails they get, so she's trying to get noticed and not lost in the fray. It's the buyer's agents...I don't get it, either. This house would be perfect for an investor-- my mortgage is under $700/mo and I paid $140K for it. It's selling for $4K less, so you know the mortgage will be less, and one could easily get $900 in rent for it.

Sorry about your relationship! I hope things look up for you both.

revolting-- congrats!

M's interview went fine, but they aren't going to start anyone for 2 more weeks, so he is going to keep sending resumes. He found out that his rights really were violated according to state law, but he just wants to put that place behind him, so he's not going to pursue anything against them. His spirits are pretty good in general

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by vydalea Rah!   How very disappointing that the prospective buyers didn't snap up the house, Maia.  It's great that the realtor that showed the house thinks it's awesome!  Some new blood!  What a let down, though.  Real Estate is such an emotional rollercoaster. 

I'm in a cleaning mode this morning, too.  Scrubbed the hell out of my tea kettle.  THAT FELT GOOD!!  haha.

Thanks, vydalea. I know-- this house has been on and off the market for two years! It's a steal; I don't know why people aren't even looking at it

I'm in cooking mode, not cleaning-- I made lemon cupcakes. I was going to do it anyway, but I forgot it's my bestie's birthday, so now I have an excuse for them AND I made BBQ sauce-- compliant (for me) NC BBQ sauce, which here it's more liquidy-vinegary than most other kinds of BBQ sauce, and I am going to make more "cocoa crack" (candy I can have-- pretty much coconut oil + powdered cocoa + stevia, frozen into servings), and I *was* going to get brave and try my mom's chopped liver recipe-- I bought the damn livers-- and now I can't find what I did with the recipe! And my mom is out of town, so I can't call her. Dang.

[witchygrrl]

Originally Posted by 3xMama 

Well, we've had several interesting days between DH and I. I really don't want to talk about it, at all with anyone, but some positive energy would be nice. To clarify, DH and I aren't arguing, its just life being...well....life....So far April has not at all been what I've been hoping for. Is life always this way? Where it seems like storm clouds gather monthly and you never get ahead? I keep thinking that if we just had some more money, if just a few more years when we have money, but will that actually help or will it just be other things then? And if it is other things, how does one get to the point of being able to roll with it and not constantly be completely stressed out?? Gah, enough deep thinking! Need to get on with cleaning, I've ignored it for too many days! 

Yeah, my DH has been mostly unemployed for the last three years. We keep saying when are we NOT going to be poor? I'm sorry that the stress is cracking you like this. Many hugs and good energy to you both.

my spring semester is almost done. ye gods, i can't wait for it to be over!!! and I'll be teaching for the same schools in the fall. at least, I've agreed to that. I've started applying for all sorts of stuff now to see if I can get a full time benefitted position instead of being an adjunct.

as for Beltane, ack! I don't think my shop is doing anything this year, as we have no real outdoors space. beltane indoors is just weird. So I need to find something public, and then we'll do something small too at home.

LM, how are you now? I'm sorry the funeral was so offputting. I hope you can honor him in your own way, too.

Maia-ack! Somebody will buy that house! And I always think of you when I make cocoa crack. I put sliced almonds and roasted cocoa nibs in mine.

[LionessMom]

Originally Posted by witchygrrl 

LM, how are you now? I'm sorry the funeral was so offputting. I hope you can honor him in your own way, too.

i am doing ok. i talked to my dad about it and he made me feel better. and i have been spending lots of time with grandma and talking to her. she has been bringing up stuff with me that i had been thinking about. so hearing her take helps me alot. my mom and i are going to sit down and come up with a schedule for visiting her so that she is being checked on every day. she has been falling down a lot lately and we are worried about her. i am planning on putting stuff out by his stone when they get it up. and a hand written note by me that i will also put on facebook. 

[witchygrrl]

Originally Posted by LionessMom 

i am doing ok. i talked to my dad about it and he made me feel better. and i have been spending lots of time with grandma and talking to her. she has been bringing up stuff with me that i had been thinking about. so hearing her take helps me alot. my mom and i are going to sit down and come up with a schedule for visiting her so that she is being checked on every day. she has been falling down a lot lately and we are worried about her. i am planning on putting stuff out by his stone when they get it up. and a hand written note by me that i will also put on facebook. 

Good! Taking care of our elders is such a complicated thing. Sometimes I think it would be much easier if I had real siblings; on the other hand, maybe it wouldn't be. I hope you can continue to find some peace in all this, and keep your grandmother in good hands.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by witchygrrl Good! Taking care of our elders is such a complicated thing. Sometimes I think it would be much easier if I had real siblings; on the other hand, maybe it wouldn't be. I hope you can continue to find some peace in all this, and keep your grandmother in good hands.
 

I know-- I feel that I would want to take care of my mom, should she become incapacitated-- but at the moment, we can only stand each other for like 3 days, in person She wants to stay home, independently, as long as possible, and I know she'd want a care facility of some sort if she had to, while maintaining as much independence as possible. I don't think she'd WANT to stay home and let me care for her.

Was going to go to church today, and I really wanted to-- but it's at 11:15 and right now it's 10:25 and I am feeling terrifically lazy. I need a shower, and I can't move from the coffee and the computer

[DaughterOfKali]

I know we really need the rain but it's sooo depressing.  It's been pouring for 2 days. That's plenty for now, thanks.

Ds didn't go to school today.  Sinus trouble again.

Supposed to give away free books for World Book Night (today is World Book Day!).  I changed my original plan because hardly anyone RSVP'd to my event.  I got SO annoyed by that.

I'd like to take a box of books to my doc office but am not sure they'll allow it.  Only one way to find out!  heh heh.  Ok, I'm off to get ds ready to head out.

Hope everyone is well.

[vydalea]

Maia: I'm glad to hear that M is in good spirits - I hope that the HR person learned their lesson so that a similar situation doesn't happen to another person.  I totally value leaving well enough alone, though!!!

Lioness: The idea of a handwritten note sounds like a beautiful tribute.  Sending you lots of love as you and your mom care for your grandma.  Keeping you all in my thoughts.  Like witchy said, it's complicated and you all are lovely for taking the initiative to check in on her.  Not all elders have that.

Witchygrrl: you never know, with siblings, right?  My mom has 3 and she's the only one caring for my grandpa.  Our friend, on the other hand, has 2 other sisters who are scattered across teh country and they still take time to come out and help when they can.  Families are wild and weird creatures!  ha.  

It's raining here for the 3rd day in a row - like DoK said, we need it buuuuuut... so I'm making the most of it by cooking a big crockpot of chicken chili.  mmmmm.  beans are cookin' up right now.  Trying to think of fun things to do with Z today.  She's teething her 2 year molars so I think it's best if we stay in - since she's extra clingy/whiny today.  I'm thinking oobleck this afternoon - i need a reason to mop my floor. hahaha.  

Hugs all around!   

[3xMama]

Originally Posted by vydalea 

The outdoor altar is looking interesting.  I got the ribbons on it and the plan today is to add some bells up the side where there are diamond shaped holes.  It will shape itself up slowly. 

*HUGS* and loving, positive energy, 3x. 

I guess if money is the true root of the problem then when you have more it will help.  I feel like I have spent a lot of time in the past year (okay, lifetime!) trying to see the root of the anger and guilt that I feel sometimes (not that you're angry, just in my situation) and instead of trying to use mantras to ignore it (since it always comes back) I'm trying to examine the shadows and deal with the darkness and find mantras that help me shed light on that.  If that makes sense.  ?  That may have nothing to do with whatever you're experiencing. 

Thanks. :) Money is, I think, I big part of it. We don't have much and have really little to no cushion so any expected expense is a big deal. But, like you, the anger and guilt I regularly feel is deeper than just money. Even if its over a fee at the library, yes money is involved but that's not the biggest part of the issue, if that makes any sense. Things that are out of our control, though, still seem to happen all the time--ie car repairs etc, that we don't usually have the cash for on hand. Its just frustrating. 

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

No, she's really working her tookas off for me...SHE isn't supposed to be showing it. OTHER people are. She's my realtor, as a seller's agent, and she has been contacting buyer's agents, and she told me how she's been individually calling them because she knows how overwhelmed with emails they get, so she's trying to get noticed and not lost in the fray. It's the buyer's agents...I don't get it, either. This house would be perfect for an investor-- my mortgage is under $700/mo and I paid $140K for it. It's selling for $4K less, so you know the mortgage will be less, and one could easily get $900 in rent for it.

M's interview went fine, but they aren't going to start anyone for 2 more weeks, so he is going to keep sending resumes. He found out that his rights really were violated according to state law, but he just wants to put that place behind him, so he's not going to pursue anything against them. His spirits are pretty good in general

That's extra frustrating, then! Maybe switch it up and rent it out yourself? I don't know the logistics of that, but its an idea. 

Glad his interview went well. Hopefully something will pull through quickly! Glad his spirits are good! Personally, I'd go after the place, but that's just me. I'm cranky like that. 

Originally Posted by witchygrrl 

Yeah, my DH has been mostly unemployed for the last three years. We keep saying when are we NOT going to be poor? I'm sorry that the stress is cracking you like this. Many hugs and good energy to you both.

my spring semester is almost done. ye gods, i can't wait for it to be over!!! and I'll be teaching for the same schools in the fall. at least, I've agreed to that. I've started applying for all sorts of stuff now to see if I can get a full time benefitted position instead of being an adjunct.

Thanks. :) I'd love to not be poor, too! I keep saying that "we'll get there", but it never seems as though we will!

Hope you find a good position! What do you teach, if you don't mind my asking?

Originally Posted by LionessMom 

i am doing ok. i talked to my dad about it and he made me feel better. and i have been spending lots of time with grandma and talking to her. she has been bringing up stuff with me that i had been thinking about. so hearing her take helps me alot. my mom and i are going to sit down and come up with a schedule for visiting her so that she is being checked on every day. she has been falling down a lot lately and we are worried about her. i am planning on putting stuff out by his stone when they get it up. and a hand written note by me that i will also put on facebook. 

Glad you are feeling better. Talking with people who feel the same and having a plan pulled together always makes me feel better.  There are some really nice assisted living places out there, so she's living on her own but not actually alone, if that makes sense. My grandparents live in one and its been super beneficial when they've had health issues and needed to get to the hospital.

Thanks for the good energy everyone. Things have been looking up for us and my kids don't seem to be ready to rip each other limb from limb so much the past couple of days (thank the Gods! ). I definitely think it helped. 

I hope you all have a good week!

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by 3xMama That's extra frustrating, then! Maybe switch it up and rent it out yourself? I don't know the logistics of that, but its an idea. 

Glad his interview went well. Hopefully something will pull through quickly! Glad his spirits are good! Personally, I'd go after the place, but that's just me. I'm cranky like that. 

I can't rent it out myself, even if I wanted to. I have a gov't loan that that is one of the stipulations, I can't rent it. If I do, and they find out about it, I would owe all the difference between what I pay, and what I would have paid without the discount, and I'd owe it all at once

M-- oh gods, mamas....he got rip roaring drunk last night and was obNOXious. Just mean and ornery and an overall ass. AND he drove. I wish to hell...you know, I can almost handle the drinking. It's the driving that scares me. Really, really badly. I have a friend that's in her 12th year of federal prison because one day she had a couple (well, a lot) in the middle of the day, and-- we lived at the beach, so lots of tourists-- she slammed through a red light and hit a car with 5 teens on vacation. Four of them died. And she, while it was a horrible, horrible thing to have happen-- she is being held up for an example, which is why she has like 60 years not concurrent-- and the saddest part is, the rate of DUI in NC has not lowered at all, because of her "example".

I'm so afraid that will happen to M. And with his many illnesses, he would die there, no doubt.

And here's the rub-- he admitted to me today that he's been drinking pretty much every night since he got fired

The worst part about this? I am an alkie myself. I know just exactly how unstoppable this is. I am helpless to do a damn thing about it

[DaughterOfKali]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

The worst part about this? I am an alkie myself. I know just exactly how unstoppable this is. I am helpless to do a damn thing about it

Honestly, do you see him getting sober permanently?  Do you really want to move to another state to be with someone who refuses to help himself?  I'm worried about YOU and your son.

It just sounds like a no win situation.  I'm sure you don't want to hear what I'm saying.  I almost gave up everything to be with an alcoholic (well before I was pregnant.)  I'm so glad that I came to my senses.  Yes, it was heartbreaking to cut ties with someone I was in love with but I knew I had to do it.

I just want you to really think about how your life (and your son's) would be if you moved to be close to M.  The impact on you and your child would be so much worse if you had to deal with this in person on a regular basis.  You don't have to post an answer to all this, of course.  I'm only hoping you will take an honest look at what's going on and the fact that it will most likely only get worse.

Many hugs to you for what you are going through.