Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - April, May, June! - Page 2

[KnittingTigers]

Hi everyone! Happy new thread!

Dandy, we dressed our DD almost exclusively in "boy" clothes for her first two years, because my neighbors gave me a huge stash of stuff from their sons (and, of course, because we're radical gender bending queers). Somehow, in spite of all this, she is the biggest princess fan I've ever met. We struggled with it for awhile, and then finally decided, this is who she is, and keeping her from expressing herself as a budding young femme is just as unfair as keeping a boy from wearing a dress. Yesterday we had a playdate with some friends from her school, who ironically are always trying to femme their (tomboy) daughter up. Half an hour after we arrived, DD emerged from their playroom in full princess regalia, including sparkly crown, pink ballgown, and butterfly wings. She looked so happy, and our friends' tomboy daughter looked totally bored. It cracked me up. I think DP is hoping for a butcher baby next time so that they can share more of a fashion aesthetic.

MizYellow and Amanda, kudos to you both for donating milk. I had major BF-ing issues, and relied a lot on donor milk. It felt like such an amazing gift.

AFM, I have an appointment at the fertility clinic today, which is exciting. Hope to join you all here soon as pregnant, in addition to parenting!

But on the parenting note, here's DD with the Easter bunny this weekend:

[dandylez]

Originally Posted by AngelaM 

Hi everyone! Happy new thread!

Dandy, we dressed our DD almost exclusively in "boy" clothes for her first two years, because my neighbors gave me a huge stash of stuff from their sons (and, of course, because we're radical gender bending queers). Somehow, in spite of all this, she is the biggest princess fan I've ever met. We struggled with it for awhile, and then finally decided, this is who she is, and keeping her from expressing herself as a budding young femme is just as unfair as keeping a boy from wearing a dress. Yesterday we had a playdate with some friends from her school, who ironically are always trying to femme their (tomboy) daughter up. Half an hour after we arrived, DD emerged from their playroom in full princess regalia, including sparkly crown, pink ballgown, and butterfly wings. She looked so happy, and our friends' tomboy daughter looked totally bored. It cracked me up. I think DP is hoping for a butcher baby next time so that they can share more of a fashion aesthetic.

That's awesome and hilarious! I was a total tomboy in a dress when I was a kid. Loved playing rough, climbing things, playing with cars, destroying dolls... but I *hated* jeans and loved my frilly dresses.  (Even though I'm 95% in jeans these days, I still like to 'femme' it up on occasion!)  Boy or girl, kids know what they like...

Love the pic of your DD, by the way!

[smilingsara]

Here's Shay with the Easter bunny yesterday. He just woke up and we decided it'd be funny. He had fun for 3 smiles and then decided he was all done! No tears though!

Everyone on fb said its a creepy bunny, but I don't really think so! Not in comparison to some i've seen in pictures lately.

[justrose13]

cute bunny pics! they both look so happy! I hadn't even thought to have S photo'd with one... we'll be at the mall for one yar pics on Thursday... maybe then.

and S also has those same baby legs! cute! cute! cute!

[gumshoegirl007]

Happy shiny new thread with pics of cute kiddos in slings and with bunnies!!!

I don't have much time for personals this morning, but I just wanted to dump. 

We started daycare this morning :) :(  I'm so torn about this.  It's not that I didn't recognize all of the complications that come with this decision, and it's not that I don't think that her being in daycare is a bad thing, it's just so bloody hard.  I'm so mixed about this as I'm paying someone to raise my kid!  And there's quite a few kids in the room with her (okay, there's 6 kids and two/three staff), and I can see just what a factory it is.  Diaper changes were a 30 minute production.

The staff are lovely.  One is even south asian (yippe!) and the kids seem to love them.  The baby was never out of arms.  It's just that she's not getting that one-on-one and they don't know her or her routine.  And I realize that is just yet.  They don't know her routine...yet!  And of course she cries when I leave the room and that's really difficult to see.  I know it will get better and we'll totally give it a month to see how the transition goes. 

I've just spent the last month of my mat leave worrying about work, about losing my job, finding a new one, that I didn't even have that time to process how big of a transition this would be for me.  I knew it would be, and I was anticipating it, I just feel like I've been hit with a tonne of bricks this morning.  It's so darn emotional (only exacerbated by a kid who is cutting her molars, got vaccines and was irritable, then had a fever for 3 days and was even more irritable, and has been sleeping poorly with an out of whack schedule) cause I'm friggen exhausted.  I'm looking forward to having a break before work starts.

Thanks for listening.  I feel a bit better.  I think I just need to have a cry over it all.

[prettyisa]

Desert—hmm..might be the noses, but our friends had a yorkie who was into it, too. Maybe your dog just doesn’t have a taste for them…

Loving all the sling pics! We have a whole mini-arsenal already—one fake moby, a baby bjorn, a something-like-a-baby-bjorn-that-I-can’t-remember-what-is, two generic ones with stuffing along the edge, a Boba (which is ADORABLE and has little foot stirrups! I die.) Like I said, for people who don’t know what kind of babywearing our kid is going to like, I’ve already gotten myself into some trouble over here. Once we have more information it’s going to be open season on textiles! Ooo! And bunnies! They’re everywhere around here—grocery stores, other stores, out on sidewalks, you name it. Multiplying like rabbits, those Easter bunnies…

Dandy—all of our stuff looks pretty boyish, too—it’s just easier to girlie up boy clothes if you decide you need to than it is to go the other way. I’ve got some little frilly dresses and things just in case, but mostly everything would be perfectly accepted as boy clothes at this point. Once your baby gets here your relatives will probably explode with a tsunami of gendered baby clothing (or so I’ve noticed with my friends’ kids). My dad has been rhapsodizing about pink lately, so I’m just preparing myself, should we get a girl.

Sara—sorry about the discomfort—I think it only gets worse. I don’t wake up because of the pain in my (hips/back/stomach/whatever) but as soon as I am awake I feel all of it come rushing at me. Glad you’re enjoying the hiccups! It drives me crazy—I unconsciously hold my breath and they still don’t go away!

Gumshoe—I’m sorry it’s such a rough transition—it sounds like you had a lot of other stuff to make it more complicated leading up to the actual day, too. It does sound like a good sign that she’s always being held, though, and that they’re all nice people. Maybe after she gets more used to going she’ll be more excited and less sad and it’ll be easier for you both.

AFM—been very busy around here! We managed to see all kinds of people this weekend, and have somehow accidentally scheduled events where we will see lots more throughout this week—a dinner party to sign our new wills, a full moon potluck-cum-seder, and our last club night as a couple (we already told our friends we’ll be there from 9-10 or so before I give up and want to go to bed, so less dancing and more chatting, but it’s still a dance club!). Unless, you know, I have a baby. DP thinks the kid is slowly moving farther south—is that common? Does ‘dropping’ happen all at once, or is it gradual? It does seem a little less jammed up into my ribcage, but not all the way in my pelvis, either.

[AmandaHope]

Originally Posted by prettyisa 

Desert—hmm..might be the noses, but our friends had a yorkie who was into it, too. Maybe your dog just doesn’t have a taste for them…
Loving all the sling pics! We have a whole mini-arsenal already—one fake moby, a baby bjorn, a something-like-a-baby-bjorn-that-I-can’t-remember-what-is, two generic ones with stuffing along the edge, a Boba (which is ADORABLE and has little foot stirrups! I die.) Like I said, for people who don’t know what kind of babywearing our kid is going to like, I’ve already gotten myself into some trouble over here. Once we have more information it’s going to be open season on textiles! Ooo! And bunnies! They’re everywhere around here—grocery stores, other stores, out on sidewalks, you name it. Multiplying like rabbits, those Easter bunnies…
 

Just have to put this out there: the "Baby Wearing Community" disapproves of Bjorns pretty strongly (having to do with spinal and hip positioning--happy to share details if you want), but I hear Bobas are GREAT!  I couldn't have gotten through the first two months without some kind of stretchy wrap (ie, fake Moby).  I also used with Lilah a generic stuffing along the edge sling that I still had from Zoe which is frowned upon now (because you can't adjust the top and bottom rails separately, so it can be hard to get a safe, snug fit), and it is true that I wasn't using it exactly how I should have been...but it was awesome nonetheless.  If you are looking for a good excuse to do more, I'd encourage you to make a ring sling from a linen/cotton blend for the summer.  The one problem with stretchy wraps is that they are super hot.  A linen ring sling would be awesome for a little squish in the summer heat. 

Oops--got stop pumping and give an exam...

[seraf]

Or a pouch sling!

[prettyisa]

The bjorn and the other thing were both hand me downs--honestly, I doubt I'd want to use either because the Boba is so much nicer (I got hooked on our friends' Ergo when she was little) but no good for teeny-weenies, right? I think what I have are basically pouches--there's only a little stuffing. I'll drag them out and see. Definitely thinking about making a ring sling, especially since the rings are much less expensive than I was expecting and I have a bunch of linen (I think) hanging out in my basement, waiting for someone to carry... Ooo...or I'll tell my mom to dye me some. She buys nicer fabric than I do, and then will make it pretty and give it to me. This is a winning situation, kids!

[SwtRainbowBrite]

Seraf: Thank you so much! I totally cracked up at Sara's minivan nightmares (aww poor Sara). And S is getting so big!

Angela: Thank you! What a cute pic of your DD with the Easter bunny!

Isa: Thank you! And it's totally late but I am cracking up at your hoo-ha statement! Anymore girl feelings? I am so jealous of your upcoming club night! And I can't believe how close you are!!

Dandy: Thank you! And I agree I have a lot of catching up to do! YAY for your bonafide bump!

Starling: Awww Thank you! 

Glasses: Thank you!

MizYellow: Thank You and yes the cake was delicious! H is getting so big!

Desert: Thank you! We have a few names picked out but we are trying to narrow it down. Thank you for the new shiny thread! Thinking of you this morning as you head into your scan.

Werhli: Thank you! The foot picture is one of our favorites!

OMom: Your birth story brought me to tears! I am really hoping for an experience as peaceful as the sun rising when our daughter is born! And Sage is a lovely name

Gumshoe:Thank you! Yes when got the card back from the baker after the Wedding we cracked up, but luckily we got a firm confirmation at our fetal echo scan LOL! I love the pics of your LO's 1st Birthday Party especially the tutu!

AHope: Thank you! Love the wrap pic!

Seraf/Sara: What a super cute squishy face! You are nearing the finish line, EXCITING! I love when the baby has hiccups, she gets really upset and tries to fight them LOL!

AFM:  I am currently sitting in my Midwife's Office doing a 3hr Glucose Test (BARF)! I am really ticked off because I don't ever eat sweets and yet I failed my 1hr test. I am really hoping that I pass this test or I am going to have to monitor my blood sugar everyday and if I can't manage my sugar levels then I will be "risked out" of the homebirth. Let's just hope the 1st test was a fluke and I pass this one or I am going to be super bummed. Other than that things have been pretty quiet on this end, we are now officially in the 3rd trimester and I can't believe it! We start birthing classes in 2 weeks, and I have already had my initial meeting with my Doula so the ball is def rolling! I have completed (I think) my newborn cloth diaper stash and I am feeling pretty stoked to put a cute baby butt in them!

[DesertSunsets]

Just had to drop in to say that our scan went great, everything is healthy and on target and we are having a real firecracker of a daughter!! The tech had to work hard, and was laughing and referred to the baby as a stinker. I think if I were being poked with an ultrasound wand, I'd be difficult, too.

We are not 100% on her name until it goes on the birth certificate, but it's likely that she is going to be Everleigh Jane.

Pictures later!

[AmandaHope]

Quick post for Gumshoe:

I've been thinking about you since your post yesterday but haven't had a moment to reply.  I definitely agree that it is good to let yourself have a good cry.  Starting day care is SO HARD.  I, too, underestimated the psychological distress that it involved; I focused on what I could do for Lilah but didn't think enough about what I needed by way of support for myself.  I cried on and off the whole day when she first started. I'm glad you are starting her before you have to go back to work; smart planning.  You need some space, extra love and time to yourself, etc. to help yourself through the transition.  Anyway, I sincerely hope that your daycare situation works out better than ours did (which I expect, because our problems stemmed largely from the structure of the daycare itself).  Hang in there, and take extra good care of yourself right now.  Oh--and don't be surprised if Addi sticks to you like glue in the evenings/at night for a while.  How did the first day go, btw, and how was this morning? 

Today is our first afternoon with the nanny, Jamie.  She has Lilah out on a walk right now.  She is nervous about things she is unfamiliar with (b-milk, cloth diapers, etc.) but is willing to learn and is super eager in general, so that's all good.  And Lilah was pretty comfy with her when she first came, so that's promising. 

[planet]

Good morning!

OMOM: Just wanted to pop in and say that I loved reading your birth story; it made me cry.  It is inspiring.  You are a great writer, so many vivid details, I felt like I was there! Thank you so much for sharing.

Desert: That is amazing about the scan!  Congrats!

Hi to everyone else!  I am loving all the pics.  SO cute!!! 

Things are pretty chill over here.  14 weeks, just had our 2nd midwife appointment and heard the heartbeat for the 2nd time!  Amazing, just like the first time.  I'm not really showing yet.  My partner, close friends, and I can all tell that I have a tiny little belly, but the general population cannot.  I have to fasten my jeans with a rubber band that is getting more and more stretched out, but nobody can see that either.  I am a very tiny, petite person, so it may take awhile for folks to realize that I've stretched!!  It might sound silly, but I am waiting in anticipation for the day when people can look at me and tell I'm pregnant! 

So excited for the new babies coming our way any second...!

xoxo

[DesertSunsets]

Isa - don't know about the belly dropping, but it can only mean good things, right?  Sounds like you're keeping yourself quite busy.  It'll be a great story if your water breaks while in the middle of a dinner party.  

Ahope - How was Lilah's first day with Jamie?  I'm sure she'll pick up the cloth diapering and breastmilk-feeding soon!  Hoping all was well. 

Gumshoe - how is A doing with daycare?  Has she gone for two days now or are you staggering them?  Thinking of you. 

Brite - so sorry to hear you have to do the 3 hour test!  Yuck!  I've read that a lot of women fail the 1 hour, only to have the 3 hour test say they're perfectly fine.  Hopefully that's you!  Have you heard the results yet?  

Planet - congrats on 14 weeks!  Since you're getting such a cute and tiny bump, maybe you'd like to share a belly picture with everyone?!  Please?  

As for us, things are great and we are so excited to know that there is a baby girl growing in DW's belly.  Just to know that every day is a "she" day from now on is a big weight lifted.  I'm glad we found out.  

Haha, I couldn't leave out the one of her girly bits.  LOL.  Poor kid, we're already putting her parts up on the internet.  

First Centering class in our Birth Center tonight!  

[AmandaHope]

Desert: Love the u/s pics!  What a sweet little face, hand, and foot!  Not sure I'd call the girl bits "sweet," exactly, but...glad they are there!   I love having girls, even though I was not so secretly hoping for a boy the second time.  As I've said here before, there is something fun and empowering about having an all-female family (though I'm sure I'd adore whatever shape my family took gender-wise, if it was or becomes different). 

Brite: I had to do the 3 hour test, and it turned out fine, though the test itself SUCKED.  When do you get your results? I loved meeting with the doula--so much hope and mystery and excitement.  Hope you enjoyed your meeting and that your first birth class is equally wonderful.  Those newborn cloth dipes are SO ADORABLE.  All the poop in the beginning led us to revert to sposies for a few weeks, but you are probably more intrepid than we are. 

Isa: I laughed at your request on FB for people to entertain you.  Are you having a boring day?  If you can successfully pull off a ring sling with a pleated, wide, gathered shoulder, you could make a lot of money, by the way.  Starting with me.  I just got another wrap (cough)--it is a beautiful rainbow--but I think I probably want to "slingify" it. 

Sara: Sorry you had an uncomfortable night the other night.  How has sleep been the past few nights?

Planet: It really does feel great when people recognize your belly as a baby bump.  Since I'm on the bigger side, it took a while... but I bet you only have another month or so until it is obvious.  Little tiny people get such huge bumps, because there just isn't that much vertical space inside for the baby, you know?  I'm sure it will be beautiful. 

Dandy: Yay for a bump! How are you feeling these days?

Angela: Cute kid!  How was your appt at the fertility clinic?

Hi to everyone else.

AFM: Lilah has forgotten how to go to sleep at night. She nurses, rolls around, pinches me, and fusses for HOURS in the evenings, even though she is obviously very tired.  I miss my evenings but figure that this probably won't last long.  Ugh.  She is sleeping well overnight, though, so I shouldn't complain too much.  It is probably related to her waking up later in the mornings and to changing to two naps instead of three...or perhaps to a coming developmental milestone...not sure...just hoping it is fleeting.  The first afternoon with Jamie (thx for asking!) went well, though most of it was spent napping in the stroller while Jamie pushed her around town.  Jamie has her by  herself tomorrow (though my mother-in-law will be dropping by to do some gardening and so can consult if needed), so we'll see how that goes.  Lilah didn't exhibit any separation anxiety with her, though, so that's really encouraging.  And J is great with her--so enthusiastic, responsive, engaged, and attentive.  She kept texting me images of cute sleeping Lilah throughout their walk.    I love it. 

[prettyisa]

Brite—Ugh on the glucose test—how did it go? I hope you passed and don’t have to worry about it anymore!

Planet—glad things are going well! I agree with Amanda—soon you’ll be super-preggo! It took a long time with me before the general population started to catch on, and now I kind of wish they didn’t all know, because I don’t like the gawking, but I’m trying not to take it personally.

Desert—Nice to see the pics, especially the little hand and foot!

Ahope—boring like nothing else. I’m still here for the rest of the week but obviously can’t plan many events since I’ll be out for four months. It turns out there’s not that much internet, after all. Tell you what—you let me have a good, long look at your slings so I can figure out the logistics, and buy some slingrings and I’ll make your lovely rainbow wrap into a sling for you. If you have one you like I can copy it—the rings are about $5 a pair and come in lots of colors. We’ll baste first so if you hate it or I do it wrong it won’t hurt your wrap and we can either adjust or abandon ship (though I don’t think it’s that hard at all, from the patterns I’ve seen). Glad things went well with Lilah—it sounds like she really does do better one on one at this point in her life, so I’m happy to hear that she enjoyed her first day with Jamie!

[seraf]

AmandaHope and Isa, here are a couple of cool new things I learned related to slings.

http://www.birdiesroom.com/c-424-no-sew-ring-sling.aspx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXlEcy8AjkU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[KnittingTigers]

Planet, I am pretty skinny, and didn't start showing until forever with my DD. Sometime around six months you could sort of tell, but I certainly didn't look like I was that far along. It kind of bummed me out. One of my friends was four weeks ahead of me, and people thought that we were three or four MONTHS apart. I've heard that you "pop" earlier with the second. I look forward to finding out! In any case, I understand wanting to be visibly pregnant.

Amanda, glad it's going well so far with Jamie and Lilah.

Sara, I'm sorry you're uncomfortable. Soon!

AFM, we ordered sperm, and I pick up my meds today! The baby doc was awesome, and I'm feeling optimistic. It's funny, when I was TTC before, it felt so important to do it all at home, no drugs or doctors. I think that was absolutely the right choice at the time, but now I'm feeling really glad to be in the doctor's care. I'm about a week away from the end of my cycle, and then we begin!

In other news, DD is home from school on spring break this week, and my mom is here hanging out with her. They came to visit me at work today and we played ball on campus for awhile in the middle of the day. Super sweet. I wish that could happen more often. Here she is swinging on a swing on campus:

[Mizyellow]

Mom'; I only had one, I don't think you would need two as the other boob is in the babes mouth:)

[dandylez]

Planet, soon we'll be huge and also SO hot and sticky.... :)  I know exactly how you feel though. I went to a prenatal yoga class a couple of nights ago, and loved looking at all the sweet bumps around me.  I can't wait to get there too.  I echo Desert's call for a bump pic!  Oh, I also read that not showing is often the result of strong abs... so, you've got great abs!! Oh, and yay for hearing the heartbeat! What a great sound!

AngelaM, sweet pic. I wish we had a swing on campus! I'd be on it every day!

Desert, awesome pics!!! Love the hand and foot. Happy baby girl!

Amanda, thanks! I'm feeling good. Getting ready to find some new pants at some second-hand shops this weekend. The belly band is working, but I find myself constantly adjusting it. Glad Jamie is working out well with Lilah! I love your DD's name, by the way.

Brite, hope all went well with the glucose test!

AFU, nothing much going on. I keep putting DP's stethoscope to my lower belly even though I know it's waaaay too early.  Every time I make her listen to something, she just says, 'yeah, those are your bowels again."  One day, I know I'm going to hear something that's not my, apparently very over-active, bowels.  

The big thing for us right now is that DP finishes her Nurse Practitioner training this summer. She's currently interviewing at a few different places, which could mean moving before the baby comes and transferring care away from our awesome midwife.  There is a position opening in the hospital she works at right now, but she's not sure they'll be able to hold it for her.  Essentially, we're torn. We want to leave the city we live in, but at the same time, my parents and 2 of my sisters are here, and staying here for the first year or so would be wonderful.  One of the possible positions in another city is also perfect -- a community health centre working with at-risk populations, including LGBT individuals, homeless persons, people with mental illness/addiction -- something she'd really love.  I want her to make the decision based on the job that she will love most, but she's still worried about continuity of care and having family close by, and not selling & moving with a new babe coming.  I know that it will work out, no matter what, so I just have to keep telling her that I guess. Anyway we're off to interview #1 today -- the awesome job! We'll see how it goes.