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Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - April, May, June! - Page 17

post #321 of 671
Welcome to the world, Soren! and congrats, mamas!! I love the picture of Shay beaming like anything at his new brother!

Crystal--I'm glad things are going ok for you--I hope you manage to find a way to work things all out in the long term, but there is something to be said for leaving well enough alone sometimes. Just remember that you have support here, and options if you ever feel like you need to get out of there for any reason at all.

Nos! Dos! I love it! So happy to hear the good news! All that work and you get a big payoff in the end! smile.gif

Brite--you just take your time, we'll be patient and wait for your little one to come in due time!

Glasses--that sounds like a nice starter pace--plenty of time to re-route her if you see a potential hazard!

AFM--good and bad. Mum and I had our little talk, which was nice, and I'm sure I'll feel better from here on out. I get so weird around her emotionally for some reason, so this was good. The bad is that I think I've gone and gotten PUPPPS. Ugh. My stomach is all itchy and horrible, and now I'm getting it on my legs and one elbow. It's terrible. And nothing helps. I called the midwife to see if they can help, but no one is calling back. I have an appointment tomorrow, though, so at least I can get it looked at then. And then a question for you: when and how often should I start pumping? E and I are doing great on the feedings, but she doesn’t always go for both sides—one seems to be enough more often than not. I’d like to start getting a stash going so I can leave her with a bottle some day, but I don’t want to either interfere with her getting enough to eat or encouraging my boobs to make way more than we need, either. Advice?
post #322 of 671


Sara and Seraf- Congrats!!! Welcome to the world Soren!


Nos- I had a feeling you were joining the "two for one" club! Great news!



We finally got home from the NICU last Friday and our twins are 3 weeks old now so I guess I owe you a birth story.  Our babies arrived via a planned c-section in a room of 30+ people. Hearing their cries, seeing their squirming pink bodies, and finally being told that they are perfectly healthy and well brought incredible relief and joy to us.  A year ago we would have done anything to have this experience.  Their birth may not have been an intimate family affair that many wish for but it got them here safely and well and that’s all that matters to us.  Many of us envision a particular birthing experience and few get exactly what they pictured.  I guess it doesn’t really matter how our children get here whether it’s at home with scented candles, in a car, operating room, via adoption, blending of families or surrogacy what matter is that they arrive into our open arms!

Our little girl was 5.5 lbs and needed no help transitioning while our son was 6.5 lbs and needed a bit of help adjusting to the life on the outside.  At 35 weeks they both started breastfeeding the same day but lacked stamina to take in enough landing us all in the NICU for couple of weeks where they got extra breast milk through NG tubes.  Having them finally here has been incredibly emotional… I think it took me good three days to be able to hold them without crying.  We are now home and settling into a bit of a routine as a family of four.  Thank you all for your support during the TTC process and this very stressful pregnancy. 

post #323 of 671

Isa- As long as you don't really have an oversupply, pumping now and then on the opposite side from the one you nurse on shouldn't cause too much of a problem. Also, your breasts are constantly making more milk, and the "emptier" the breast is, the faster it's working at making more. It's kind of nervewracking at first thinking you might be taking all the milk, but it will generally work itself out and if E is still hungry, she'll probably just keep nursing and removing the milk as it's made. If you have a pretty strong supply, which I'm guessing you do since bfing seems to be going well, then most likely it won't require a heck of a lot of pumping to get a decent stash for a bottle or two. I don't know what kind of pump you have, but if pumping doesn't seem to be very effective, I'd look into things like the fit of the flange and learn some techniques to help you let down well for the pump. :)

post #324 of 671

Ad Astra: They are BEAUTIFUL!! So happy for you that you're all home together now! joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif

post #325 of 671

While I'm on MDC, I thought I'd throw a pic up from last weekend while we were staying at my parents' place.  I'm 18 weeks here.



post #326 of 671

Seraf and Sara: NICE JOB!  I *love* all the pics on FB.  Many, many congratulations on bringing Soren into the world. Shay and Soren are going to be such an incredible set of brothers...I just know it.  So so happy for you all.  When do A and O get to meet him? 


Ad Astra: They are beautiful!  Ohmygoodness--so sweet.  Congrats on getting them home!


Dandy: Looking great! Can't wait to watch that belly grow.


Nos: Yes, I was hinting. Thanks for sharing your super duper incredible news.  How are you doing with the mental adjustment?  As exciting and wonderful as the news is, it must be shocking and possibly frightening, too.  How are you feeling about it?


Isa: Good advice from KSDoula.  I agree that pumping once/day on the opposite side that E just ate from (or, ideally if you can swing, while she is eating, since that makes the milk flow like mad) should get you at least a bottle.  They only take like 3 oz or so (usually) while they are little, so it should be easy to build up a stash.  I'd make sure not to freeze more than 3 oz at a time, though, so that you don't end up wasting milk.  I find that I get the most milk in the morning, but others like pumping at night (if the baby is already asleep but you're not in bed yet, for example...not that I have many of those nights ;-).  If you can find a time that works and stick with the routine, that makes it easier. Your body adjusts accordingly.  Personally, I wouldn't pump more than once/day right now if you don't need to, since you are still establishing a supply and don't want to overdo it.  But I had oversupply probs this time around, so I'm probably more cautious than most. 


AFU: Lilah started crawling yesterday!  I had a friend over, and Lilah was just dying to feel her Crocks (the shoes), so she did her usual reaching and rocking and then moved her (usually stationary) left knee and was off!  I know that (nearly) every baby does it, but it really did seem like a miracle of engineering, physiology, and persistence.  And she is SO SO HAPPY about it.  It took her over an hour to get to sleep, because she wanted to crawl all over the bed. 

post #327 of 671

Ad astra--Look at those little beauties! They are amazingly gorgeous and I love how sweet they look in the little hats. Congratulations to you and I am so glad that they are home with you. I hope you are finally able to relax and enjoy motherhood after your tough road to get the babies here.


Isa--I agree--pumping once a day to build a stash should be sufficient. If you skip a day here and there, it shouldn't be a big deal. The lactation consultants here always suggest that you try to have 30 ounces frozen by the time you return to work. If your supply is good, it doesn't hurt to have more than that, just in case... When I had dd#1, I had about 100 oz frozen and that left me a really good cushion so that I never felt like I had to produce xx amount during each workday of pumping. Plus it'll be good to have a little for when you and DP start to introduce the bottle. I froze most of my milk in 2-3 oz quantities too. DD is 15 weeks now and still doesn't take more than 3 oz at a time--of course she was the size of a hazelnut when she was born, so she may be a bit behind in terms of appetite.


Ahope--Yay, Lilah! How exciting! That's so funny that she was so excited that she couldn't get to sleep!


Dandy--You look great! Almost halfway there already?!?! I like your ink toosmile.gif


Crystal--Thinking about you...

post #328 of 671

Isa - I read somewhere to introduce the bottle a month before you plan to head back to work, which for us was at five weeks (I stretched out my leave by going back part time when he was 9 weeks, and splitting the time with DP). I started pumping a day or two before that, and found that the four weeks was plenty of time to build a small stash. I also felt like I had waited long enough to establish a good supply without tipping it too far into oversupply (I still have a slight, but very manageable oversupply, which just means we get to donate lots of milk). Someday, you will get sick of pumping - so my advice would be not to rush into it :)


AmandaH - go Lilah! Watch out, world!


Ad Astra, that is a gorgeous photo! What sweethearts. Do they naturally snuggle up to each other all the time?


Sara and Seraf! Congrats! That pic of Shay's grin is priceless. 


AFU - we're in a bit of teething hell right now. Our usually super happy and easy baby has been up with a fever the past two nights. Poor little guy. He can't seem to get comfortable at night, even after ibuprofen or tylenol (days, he's doing well except for the drool). I hope tonight will be better. This was the pattern before tooth #1 and 2 popped in a few weeks ago, but not as severely. Hopefully #3 and 4 poke through soon, so he gets some relief. And DP can stay home with him tomorrow if needed (fever = daycare exclusion), so she'll be able to stay up with him, tonight, too. He hasn't been as interested in the boob overnight when he's so cranky, so hopefully he'll be okay with getting comfort from mommy instead of me. I need some sleep!!

post #329 of 671
Thanks to all. He is awesome.

Nos!!!!!! Is your partner still trying? You could go for a basketball team!

Ad Astra, they are beautiful! I'm going to post a picture of my boys to make you appreciate the fact that they can't claw at each other yet. Your birth story totally made me cry repeatedly.

Isa, morning, once a day was good for me. Do you leak? I leaked a bottle a day in the beginning. My oversupply is not relayed to pumping.

AmandaHope, yay!

Glasses, yay! Shay knows some words, but not those.

Qmama, 30 ounces ain't nothing. Shay takes more than that in one day! Shay only took 3 ounces at a time at that age.

Baby cute. I'm about to put more pictures up.
post #330 of 671

Question...   nak

dp hates it when people (my family) put their finger in the baby's mouth. I dont mind if they are clean. baby will bring a persons finger to his moutth on his own. sometimes he is fussy in car and someone will offer a finger to calm him. dp gets mad at me for not stopping them. what should i do? (he wont take a pacifier or chewy toys)

post #331 of 671


post #332 of 671
Crystal, Shay is a major finger muncher. He would be exposed to fewer bacteria if he didn't do it, but he doesn't get sick from it (they are mostly the same bacteria I'm exposed to, so nursing supports his immune system, I figure). Good hand hygiene may be a good compromise for y'all. Hand sanitizer or baby wipes? A water bottle and napkins? Shay is recently very into chew toys for the car. Anything with those big, easy to grab rings. Cute pictures.

AFM: Amusing things to note, anytime one boy cries, the other starts. Shay doesn't do that with other babies so I thought it strange he does now. I thought he had grown out of it.
post #333 of 671

thanks seraf but dp doesnt care about the hygine, she just doesnt want peoples fingers in his mouth even if they are clean  headscratch.gif

post #334 of 671
Originally Posted by CrystalPerez View Post

thanks seraf but dp doesnt care about the hygine, she just doesnt want peoples fingers in his mouth even if they are clean  headscratch.gif

DP and I both didn't like when people held their hands out to DD and she would try and put their fingers in her mouth....I wished people would pull away but often they didn't. If they didn't I would stop DD before she got their fingers in her mouth and tell the person something like I don't really like when she does that....or something - it happened often...DD put everything in her mouth for a long time. It seemed weird to me that a stranger or even a friend would let her do it...I dunno, maybe I'm just weird but I wouldn't put my hand in another baby's mouth if I could help it!
post #335 of 671

birthday.gif Soren Dare !!! Sara it looks like you worked really hard to get him here!! So happy for you, Seraf, and the other kiddos!! Can't wait to read your birthstory and to see more pics!

post #336 of 671

All these beautiful babies!!!!!  And a great bump!  So wonderful to see all the new sweeties in the world. 

Sara~ Soren is adorable and Shay and he are going to be the best of friends.  CONGRATS and good job!


AdAstra~ Such cutie babies!!! I like your girl's side-eye pose, there. Very high-fashion winky.gif  Thanks for your birth story, and your wise words about family building. Congrats again. How very happy you must be.


Crystal~ Your little guy's a super cutie too!  Good job!  As for the finger chewing, pardon if that sounds harsh, but if fingers in the baby's mouth is a problem for your DP, then my thought would be letting her ask them to stop. And if she doesn't want to ask them (or only wants you to do it), it must not be that important, eh?  I'm glad you posted, I was thinking about you and hoping you're ok.


Dandy~ Nice bump!!!  And nice hair! Is your icon a drawing of you? Either way, looking good!



Isa~ The times I managed to pump three whole oz of milk can be counted on one hand. Good luck to you with that one.



I'm sure I"m missing some people, but it's early and I'm still working on my coffee.  Yesterday Ace woke up at 4 and would not go back to sleep. DP (who is now officially DP PhD) said that the daycare ladies said she fell asleep in the high chair eating lunch, but woke when they moved her and she barely napped. Another barely nap in the afternoon made for a fun evening with the tiredest, crankiest baby you ever did see, but one who still cried and fought her bedtime. Meanwhile, DP me and her mom were almost asleep in a heap on the couch. When Ace cried again this morning at 4 I almost cried too, but it was just a brief moment and as of now (KNOCK WOOD) she's still asleep. WTH?!  She's something else, for sure.  But then I guess being  a supergenius will keep you awake, eh?biggrinbounce.gif  She talks so much now. She can say at least 25 words (including my favorite: BOOK!)  and has her "What sound does the_____ make?" repertoire up to seven animals, and can identify three colors so far.  I'm making calculus flash cards as we speak....  

Track and field day today. I'll post again later. 

post #337 of 671
We generally feel the same way. In front of the person offering his/her fingers we say to our son something like "Silly baby, you know that it isn't polite to chew on other people's fingers" to try to make it about what he is doing rather than a criticism of the person offering the fingers. If they don't then withdraw their fingers we ask them for their help in teaching him to chew on his own fingers. I do feel fine about him chewing on my fingers or my wife's fingers because I assume he is already exposed to all our germs, and I feel better about other people's fingers when they have just washed their hands.
Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post

DP and I both didn't like when people held their hands out to DD and she would try and put their fingers in her mouth....I wished people would pull away but often they didn't. If they didn't I would stop DD before she got their fingers in her mouth and tell the person something like I don't really like when she does that....or something - it happened often...DD put everything in her mouth for a long time. It seemed weird to me that a stranger or even a friend would let her do it...I dunno, maybe I'm just weird but I wouldn't put my hand in another baby's mouth if I could help it!

Library: 25 words? Good gracious! I'm impressed!

Sara and Seraf: Hooray for Soren! joy.gif

Hi to everyone else!
post #338 of 671
re: fingers in babies mouth. I don't think I'd like it. I'm pretty sure DP would hate it. not just about cleanliness, either. but that's just us. if it's ok with you, Crystal, then I agree with Library, maybe your DP should be the one to address it. it could be good for her to assert her role as a parent to your family, too. I know it helps my DP to be the one to make the decisions about DS when we are with my side (and her side, for that matter wink1.gif) but I digress... we were lucky enough to not have to deal with this issue as DS never has been much of a mouthy kid. so maybe I'm not the best to give advice since I haven't had to actually deal with the issue at hand. good luck figuring it out. smile.gif

ETA: stinkin' cute baby you gals have, Crystal!
post #339 of 671

thanks everyone! if it were a friend I probably wouldnt like it either but my mom I really dont mind. And of course its in the car (dp wont ride in the back with him, I drive) so he is just back there with my mom and sister, and we dont see him put her finger in his mouth so we dont really have that opportunity to say not to do it until its awkward. I have told dp to say something but she doesnt and thats probably best because I'm sure it would come out incredibly rude. I tell her to say something but nicely, it shouldnt be that hard! but for her it is so she expects me to do it.We are taking my mom to her second to last radiation appointment today so we will see how it goes!

post #340 of 671

Hello again. I'm being efficient and getting computer stuff done today so I thought I'd take a break and fill in some of my missing personals:


Rainbow: Again, I'm so happy that all is well with your little bambina. You'll be kissing that squishy face soon (but not too soon!)  I was going to ask who's up next, but now that I know it's you I'll be watching and waiting. lurk.gif



Nos~ Brussells sprouts!! That's hilarious!!!  And so wonderful for your multinational babies. I'm sorry there's not a way we can get together this summer while we're in Europe. 


Ok, sudden influx of 4th graders. Have to go be official

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