Oh hey, my blog, haha. Yeah, everyone finds something different that works best for them, but I say if it's working, don't try and fix it! No need to over think.
Library, poor rashy girl. I hope she feels better soon.
KS, it is a very thorough post, so I linked it! I was just mentioning that it's not rocket science, since I follow a different formula. How are you doing anyway?
Morning all~
Lovely day today. I hope everyone has as beautiful a sunrise as I did this morning! I must be feeling good, Ace slept through the night last night for the first time in a week, so I feel like I've been given a gift! I was so worn out yesterday that when DP emailed that she and her mom were going to take naps, I was so envious I wanted to telephone them every five minutes to keep it from happening. To that end, I think Alice is on the upside of this hoof and mouth disease (the worst case our doctor had ever seen. Always the overachiever, my girl!) The rash is all over her, but she's drooling less and eating a bit more, so I think it's clearing out of her throat. She's seeming a bit perkier and less lethargic too. She and I had a nice hour or so outside yesterday afternoon wandering around on the grass. I'll be glad when it's all gone, though. She looks a bit gruesome!!
Hope everyone else is well!!!
thanks for sharing your birth story, Sara. you did a great job!!
) but she has always maintained that she doesn't have an interest in carrying a child. While i'm supportive of that feeling and would be happy to carry any and all of our babies, i can't help but want her to experience it. plus, i want to meet a "little her", YKWIM?? Anyway, we talked a little last night and she's going to work on her tokophobia (fear of childbirth) because she says that's really the only thing stopping her and that it's a stupid reason (for her) to not carry a child. We talked about me continuing to nurse S as long as possible, to possibly keep me lactating for the next one and also about inducing lactation. She feels that she may not want to BF passed 6 months, if that. She'd be going back to work after 2-3 months. i'd (hopefully) continue to stay home. I'm soooo excited for the prospect of her carriying!!! She is going to start charting on Mothers' Day and we plan on starting TTC in Jan/Feb. I will start charting, too, as soon as my fertility returns, as a safely net. we agree that she would feel best if she were able to back out of the plan at any time. me being ready on the sidelines gives her and "out" without prohibiting us from TTC at the begining of the year. i was so excited last night i could hardly fall asleep, i don't even think i knew how much i wanted this... i cried and cried!! she asked me to be the fertility tracker and birth planner (she wants a hospital birth with drugs but i think i can be ok with that). so now i start reading! Seraf and Sara, your birth plans and such were quite different... can you both please talk to me about that?? thanks in advance! 
Wehrli~ How wonderful!!!!!!! That's so exciting that you'll be adding to your family, and wonderful that your DP is wanting to carry. (In a related note, tokophobia's a totally cool word!) I can understand her fears and her 'conditions', but agree that it shouldn't be a problem if you're both excited and ready to work together. So happy for you both and look forward to the progress. Ace sleeping through the night is still a rarity, and I guess now that I think about it she did wake up at one point, but only briefly (DP, PhD has the magic bum-pat that gets her back to sleep most of the time). She slept last night from about 7 to I don't know when this morning because I left for work around 6:30, so at least 12 hours. WoohoO! Though it is also indicative of how rarely she does this that I consider only a few brief wakings to be sleeping through the night... Of course I can't blame her for not sleeping when she's been feeling so awful, but I must admit a night's sleep was a treat.
I remembered some other fun family news. DP and I are going this afternoon to buy fabric for our wedding dresses and are taking the fabric to the dressmaker and getting measured, etc. Very exciting!! I'm still packing a few boxes every day and the garage is almost full. Our POD is being delivered on the 21st so we can start filling it with our crap. Since the house we loved is no longer on the market, we've decided to rent for a while until I get a job and we can find a house we truly love. Still crazy overwhelmed with stress, but it is what it is... We'll be boarding the ship in a little over a month. Lord a mercy...
but now that I'm not in any hurry to wean, I'm going to just get over it! and bring him to bed whenever I deem "necessary"! DP has grown very fond of it, actually. she loves cuddling with us while she snoozes the alarm and we all wake together, at which point S smothers her with hugs and kisses and giggles. it's the best sight in the world to watch! do you bring A to bed anymore or has she graduated to full-time crib sleep? it seems like a good plan to rent first and buy when you find the right hoe for you, I imagine it would be much less stressful! and HOW EXCITING that you are getting your wedding attire made!! you MUST share pics as everything progresses! 
Drowning in grading but coming up for air for a few personals...
Wehrli: SUPER EXCITING PLANS. I am fascinated by the GP/NGP transitions and combinations and think that having both people in both roles within a family would be amazing.
Seraf: I've been meaning to ask you about how you and Sara are sharing breastfeeding. Are there any concerns about which baby gets which milk, in what order, etc.? I'm super interested in the details of how the four of you manage this, if you care to share. 
I really enjoyed your observations about the birth. I hope you are finally managing to feed yourself. I so felt for you not getting a moment to eat...you've certainly got a lot on your plate, so to speak. Love the tandem babywearing pics. What's up on the job front?
Sara: Good job birthing that baby! And thanks for sharing your story.
Mtnlisa: CONGRATS AND WELCOME! 
How are you feeling and doing? Are you telling anyone IRL yet?
Isa: Hi! Can't wait to see you all on Saturday. Do you have room in a freezer for some food? How much? We can do some cooking but were also thinking of bringing a few of our favorite healthier things from Costco...if you have room. But feel free to object . We're at Trader Joe's practically daily, too, so please do let me know if we can bring you anything from there.
Library: POOR Alice! Really hope she has rounded the bend. Do you remember Lyndzies? Her daughter has HFandM as well. Poor duck. Glad you (and she) got some sleep last night, though.
Hi to everyone else!
AFU: I don't think I mentioned here that my close friend (whose husband we'd hoped would be our KD) is FINALLY pregnant! She is 6 weeks along with an embryo from her husband and an egg donor. She is over the moon. They'd been trying (actively, with interventions) for nearly 3 years. It pains me that she lives so far away (SF). She was at Z's birth 10 years ago....
Lilah is so happy to be crawling and is now getting into all sorts of trouble (cords, corners, dog food, you name it). We are baby-proofing a little at a time but not fast enough. She is so busy that nursing is really a challenge. My goal for the next few months is simply to prevent her from self-weaning, which means offering the boob often when I'm at home and letting her nurse overnight as much as she needs to (which is tiring, obviously). She is biting me. Sometimes it is an accident (hard to nurse, clap, crawl, and babble at the same time), and other times she seems to do it to see what will happen. I try not to react in an interesting way (gasping etc.) but can't help it sometimes. I try to say "No Bite" firmly and deny her the boob for a minute (by putting her down or turning my back in bed); she doesn't seem especially bothered by that, though. She bit Z the other day, too, on the arm. Not too hard, thankfully. This child is going to be a handful as a toddler (uh...really soon). I don't tend to get nostalgic for the newborn days (esp. given how hard they were), but I'm starting to mourn the loss of the older baby days as she seems to be catapulting toward toddlerhood.
Hello again everyone! Just another quick post to say thank you for the welcome! I am happy to see some of my former TTC pals from 2010 are still around! My grading is done, but I still have an extra baby at my house who doesn't always nap at the same time as my baby so I'm pretty busy for one more week. Finally started to feel sick on Sunday (yay!) And yes, it is a lot like DD's pregnancy as far as I can remember. DP remembers better and says so! Baby one is up, more later!
Also, DP and I keep ending up in Costco, staring at things and telling ourselves that we are not quite ready to need a membership yet, but I’d be happy to have more reasons on the ‘pro’ side, since I am easily seduced by value packs of anything…Also, we are really looking forward to seeing you all! I am just no good at being home and ‘resting’ when I could be yapping at someone, And now that the anxiety seems to mostly have worn off I’m really excited to see friends again!! Oh, and we’ll try to block off the worst baby offenders, but it’s kind of cord city over here, as we learned recently. –sigh-
Hey ladies~ Only a moment. I'm being sneaky at a workshop and shouldn't be posting, but I am.
Yes to our ship! And not just any ship~ The Queen Mary! We set sail from New York on the 17th of June so if anyone is nearby and wants to wave hankies at us as we shove off, feel free! We've been stocking up on formal wear for the dinners, and I'm personally most excited by the 'Friends of Dorothy Cocktail Hour' every evening in the Martini Bar. They have a nursery with UK certified Nursery Nurses who do evening care so that Ace will have something to do while I'm getting drunk with old fags and eating rich food. Yay! It's a seven day crossing and we're really excited. It was actually cheaper than flying!! The tickets themselves were cheaper, and Alice travels free, so yay!! Photos forthcoming for sure.
And yay for dresses! We have similar tastes, though we will not be matching. DPs is modeled after the wedding dress Audrey Hepburn wore in Funny Face, and mine is a Vintage Vogue pattern for a 1950s coctail dress, big skirt and all. Mine is a very pale green and DPs is an amethyst color. Alice's dress will be green with a purple sash. We're having heels for the ceremony and then Chuck Taylors for the evening drinks and dancing. And yes, photos of that too, though we only took the fabric to the seamstress yesterday.
Alice is better today (though she woke up in a terrible mood for no reason). She's past the peak of the rash I think, though I'm sure it'll take a little while to clear up. And yes, she's moved to her crib full time mostly. She kind of did that herself, really. If I try and bring her to bed these days, she wants to play and chat with us and doesn't go to sleep, so there's that. I'm not weaning her, but I have learned that if I go to her in the middle of the night she'll want to nurse, but if I send DP (and yes, I have to wake her up and tell her to get in there) she can usually just pat her and tell her we love her and she'll doze back off. Yay!
Ok, I'm getting dirty looks. Love to all and more later xoxo
Man, this recovery thing is hard! I think I've been over doing it. I've felt ready to go out a few times and even just the smallest things are kicking my bum.
Soren is lovely! Such a sweet little guy! Its still hard to believe he is here!
Sara has been amazing! She's so sweet. Soren and I have really been struggling with our nursing and she's been nothing with supportive about it, trying different holds, helping me in the middle of the night. I couldn't ask for a better support system and partner!
I think the hardest thing for me is the hormone's. I'm not loving this hormone roller coaster and really not enjoying feeling so sad. I'm feeling sad that my 'being pregnant' is over. I know its probably not the last time I'll do it, but I'm sad the pregnancy is over. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled Soren is here, its just different. I spent nearly 9 months carrying him inside me and now he's out and its just odd. I'm also worried about PPD. Depression is something I've struggled with a lot since I was 15 and I'm afraid its going to happen again now. I don't wanna be depressed and am afraid to be.
Sorry to be a debby-downer...
hey Sara,
Recovery is tough!
I had a good tear and was in bed for the first week - it was uncomfortable getting out of bed and moving about. Sitz baths were awesome awesome. Do you have one? You may want to get one - it is an easy way to soak and sooth your perinium. I def couldn't get down into a bath with my tear and loved the warm water. I used herbs and things, you can also use epson salts. feels amazing!
I only took small, short, sitting down trips out during the second week. didn't carry babe in a sling for a week and a half at least. didn't do much around the house for at least that long and after that only small bits. but after day 5 or so, every new day I was tonnes better. By 3 weeks was feeling pretty great. I'm at 7 weeks and normal! I actually sat on a birthing ball around 6 weeks. I remember laughing at the thought of ever doing that again! :) You will get there Sara, and fast. My midwife told me this and she was right. Each day much better after that first rough patch.
I was really worried about PPD. I REALLY missed pregnancy too. I missed birth also. I was down about those kind of things, and lonely, and had this feeling like it was all finished and that was really very sad. Sort of like the come down after the high of a big celebration. I felt lonely. I had worries that were irrational - things that could happen to the baby. I also had terrifying dreams about my two girls.The first week those feelings were there, but also very overjoyed with babe. The second week was the hardest for me. My midwife said day 3 and 5 are usually the toughest. I found evenings the worse - when DW was putting down DD1 and I was alone.
By the third week I could really feel things getting better - the hormones were leveling out. Those moments got fewer and far between. I share only to say that baby blues can be really strong. I was feeling like it was more PPD, and was planning on seeking help in that third week. But I haven't needed to yet.
What helped me - getting out of the house for a little bit to hang with other new parents who were still babymooning :), not being along durign those hard times of the day, writing my birth story (the very detailed version for my babe), writing my pregnancy story for babe to read later, resting alot and not overduing it.... getting out to little programs with the kids where I could sit and watch my older daughter play and have fun, etc... in the end of the second week I could get into the bath and would bath with babe. That was really healing and great for me. (watch for pee or poop though as your cervix is open and you risk infection, etc).
Take it easy. Your body will feel better each day. It is alot to heal from. There is plenty going on inside as your uterus shrinks and organs move about. You have the wound from the placenta. Your tears. Your lungs and blood and all kinds of things changing. Your cervix closing takes a long time. Spoil yourself and rest. take it very easy :)
hey saragal, i just wanted to pop in and give you a huge *hug*. i haven't gotten to the post partum part, but i've been (unfortunately) well-acquainted with depression for over 25 years, so i know how scared you must be feeling about the possibility of falling back into the black abyss. i hope it's just a case of baby blues and that it passes as you heal physically and as the hormones calm down, but if it doesn't, i hope you'll take ksdoula's advice and get treatment. i know you're a great mom, and soren is very lucky to have you. please take good care of yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help. thinking of you and sending lots of warmth from the other side of the pond 
Sara: Wonderful advice here. I would have said much the same (though probably less eloquently). I had the baby blues pretty bad with both girls. This time, at my 2 week visit, the midwife gave me the PPD assessment and I was close to borderline. She called me every few days for another week to check in, and I'm glad she did. I needed it. I agree with Omom that the second week was the hardest. I missed nearly everything about being pregnant, and the let-down from the excitement of the birth was intense. I was also conflicted about the birth itself and deeply sad that Z hadn't been there (still am, though not so intensely, of course). I started feeling more like myself starting around 3 weeks and was definitely way better by 6 weeks. The best thing for me was to take it SUPER easy (mostly in bed, quick walks/sitting outside to get some direct sunlight), to focus on my emotions through journaling, to spend tons of time just looking at the baby and being still with her, and to let others care for me (lots of nourishing food IN BED). This is a profoundly vulnerable time, so please be gentle, patient, and compassionate with yourself.
Library: Ok, that ship sounds incredible! Child care and everything! And cheaper than a plane ticket?! Wow... Can't wait to see pics of the dresses.
I'm in grading hell. Grades are due Monday at noon, so it will be over by then. Somehow. I forgot my pump today and went 6 hours. Thank God I don't leak. I did say something about it to a colleague, though (she's a mom...but I don't think she breastfed), and she seemed a bit horrified. Oops.
here is a little pride cheer for everyone. these are my kids last night after we got home from a family pride event here.
Sister love - and check out Sage's fairy ear :) she only has one with that little extra notch.
Smiles with sage
I led a retreat last week and DD decided to get her journal and jumbo crayons and do some reflection too...
me and naked chubby infant snuggles. peed on shortly after, but it was worth it.
DD1 is currently: loving to practice writing letters. asking how to spell anything she encounters. potty training - asks us "mom, is there a potty at _____". I think she is a bit of a potty enthusiast - wants to check out all the various set ups and bathroom options. Today we are going swimming again for the first time PP. We did this a couple times a week late in pregnancy and I'm pumped to return to much more normal mothering with her (it was a long heal there - BTW how are you healing Isa???)
DD2 is currently: loving being naked, smiling, mimicking chewing already - but only while I'm eating coconut ice cream. smart baby. she is 7 weeks and 12.5 pounds. she smiles and shreaks with joy when her sister pummels her. good thing she likes the rough hugs!
KS - love your blog!
library - I'm glad ace is healing up there. and I'll be wavin my hankie from here for ya. Queen mary. awesome! our cousins travelled on it last year and loved it so much!
werhli - YIPPEE! so excited for you all!!! both roles are so fantastic. Enjoy charting! So excited!!!
seraf - love how you describe the dif in your pregnancies and births. DW was first with my first child, and I found myself wanting a certain birth but needing to let go of my personal perfect birth vision. Once she was in labour the letting go was VERY easy :) we started at home and when she wanted to transfer I would have run through brick walls to get her anything she requested. watching your love in labour. i found it humbling and so helpless feeling sometimes.
ahope - good luck with grading. and 6 hours without a pump! did that hurt? sorry!
mtnlisa - WELCOME! :)
isa - how are you? how is DP? any pics of E floatin around :)
nos - I don't think I've been on here to say how excited I am for you and DP. Twins!!! I've been watching and waiting with ya since I started over on QC. So many blessings to you all!
brite - thinking of you all - you are next right? when are you due? sending love to that little one. snuggle up!
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