Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - April, May, June! - Page 3

[onemommyonemama]

mizy - thanks!  :)

dandy - guelph is close to KW ;) my fam is all there too. We do travel back and forth a lot. Its a tough decision! Fingers crossed for your DP at her interviews! and have fun pants finding :)

angela - beautiful picture and awesome swing! we enjoyed having a bit less stress around timing being with a clinic here. FX for this cycle :)

saras - yikes! Just catching up on your adventures this past while. Stay in there little one. Isa's turn first, okay?

brite - stunning stunning pictures of your wedding!!! how'd the glucose go? my LO is 2 weeks and we are already leaving the land of newborn diapers

:( gah. oh well. the next size up are still tiny :)

gumshoe and Ahope - thinking about both of you with starting care (gumshoe) and your new jamie (ahope). Hoping both of your LOs transition well so it is easy as it can be on everyone.

desert - yeah for a little girl! Everleigh Jane is beautiful :)

planet - oh heartbeats :)

isa - how is it going there? How are you feeling?

I'm so excited for you :)!!!!

afm - Sage is 2 weeks old. How did that happen? mostly things have been great. Still riding those post birth waves. She sleeps and eats quite well. The transition feels simpler than the first time around. Except this time we have a toddler who wakes up at 5am and a newborn who doesn't go to bed until midnight...with one or two wake ups from both in the middle! still working on that one.

Thanks everyone for the care and cheers and support at the end of pregnancy and around the birth! Its nice to share teh birth story you know. Oddly, people in general don't seem to ask about the birth. Just want to snuggle the babe...

[dandylez]

Happy 2 week birthday, Sage!! So, glad you're doing well, OMOM.  Fyi, the prospective cities are St. Catharine's (today's interview), Cobourg, and Clinton.  Nothing really great in Guelph, unfortunately! :(

[gumshoegirl007]

Desert - Congrats on the baby girl!

AngelaM - Ocean is so big! I think she may look older than she is, or that's just me without any concept of what kids at her age look like.  Good luck with TTC#2.

Dandylez - Best of luck with your DP's interviews.  I sit on the board of our local CCHC and I just love it!  Is your partner bilingual?  I think we actually have a RN posting at our centre here in Ottawa.

Brite - Did the glucose test turn out all right?

Isa - How's it going?  Waiting for news here!

Planet - I think how pregnant one looks is so relative.  I remember thinking that I was really developing a nice bump in my 20-22 week photos.  And I was sure I looked pregnant in photos at 26-27 weeks when were on vacation.  Looking at those in retrospect I now know that the only way people thought I was pregnant was because of the way I held my belly.  No one lovingly strokes a tummy without a baby in it!  So, I hope you show soon, and you'll likely think you're showing a whole lot more than others do.

OMOM - Yay for two weeks old.  We need some more pics of the beautiful Sage!

AHope - While A. is still a crappy sleeper, we went through an especially bad period around the 8-9 month mark.  In hindsight, this was all developmentally related to crawling, learning to get into a sitting position on her own, pulling up and cruising.  I do, however, notice that I get pinched a lot when she's starting to teeth, and then in the height of teething she gets a little too bitey, combine that with the restlessness, I'd bet you have some hard core teething happening, too.  If they're not poking through, I'd take a good look at the gums, as I can see how they change shape as teeth begin to move down, even if they don't appear for some time to come.

Also, thank you for your kind words on daycare.  You are quite accurate and astute on how I'm feeling and how likely Addi is feeling as well.  The baby has been a little clingy and needy this week outside of day care.

AFU - Daycare update.  Day 2 was better.  I stayed for the first 15-20 minutes, and she didn't really cry when I left the room.  I came back 1.5 hours later and she was all happily cuddled up with one of her workers.  Day 3 was awesome for her, and awful for me.  When we arrived at daycare, she waved to all her friends, and then toddled off and didn't look back.  She didn't care that I was leaving and was happy to be on her merry way.  I was both crushed and relieved.  She did awesome for the rest of the morning she was there. 

Today is Day 4 and it's our first full day of daycare.  It wasn't the best morning.  DW and I dropped her off as DW will be taking over drop off.  There were lots and lots of tears.  (We also had a rough night as she ate a food she was sensitive to, and it just confirmed that she hadn't outgrown her sensitivity yet).  I was okay leaving her cause I knew it would be okay.  DW was a mess about it. 

Daycare will be okay.  I'm still not thrilled about letting someone else raise my kid.  But I need my career and we can really use the money.  I just feel bad that I'm prioritizing myself over my baby, but she's doing really well at daycare and this will be good for her.  I just can feel it.  She's the youngest in the room and it's interesting to see some of the small leaps developmentally that she's already taken this week.  I'm also quite interested in that she's not as shy/attached to me in this context.

On the flip side, I'm totally loving having the day to myself even if I'm only giving my house a deep clean!  I'm totally looking forward to the upcoming 4 day weekend.

[prettyisa]

Angela—what a sweet pic—it sounds like a lovely way to spend a couple hours, too!

Dandy—good luck with the decision-making! We’re happy to have ended up close to family, but I think being happy in a job can be even more important in some ways. Hopefully you’ll end up in the perfect place for you all!

OMOM—glad things are going well with little Sage—how is your older daughter adjusting to the new big-sister role?

Gumshoe—I’m glad it’s working out ok for A in daycare—hopefully the ups and downs will even out soon.

Seraf—my potential craft project pile just keeps growing and growing…

AFM—still nothing. Sorry to keep on being preggo, y’all. I know you’re waiting for another good birth announcement, but I’ve got nothing for you! Yesterday I felt a little bit sick for a minute and went to lie down but that was it—no contractions, no nothing. I think the kid has moved down some because I can feel a lot more of the kicking than before (it feels like there’s more room) but that’s really the only change. I have my midwife appointment tonight but I’m going to probably decline a cervical check—it hurt a lot last time and I don’t think it’ll tell me anything. Tomorrow’s my last day at work, so at least that is something to look forward to!

[qmama42]

Sorry I've been quiet lately, I just can't seem to find time to post!!

OMOM--Congrats on the beautiful birth and arrival of Sage! I am so happy for you and glad that you finally got the chance to meet your little one! Those early weeks are challenging dealing with the sleep schedules of both, but before too long you should be in a good rhythm.

Brite--I loved your wedding slide show. I got all teary watching it--you two make a beautiful couple. Boo for the repeat GTT. I hope it'll be smooth sailing for the rest of your pregnancy.

Gumshoe--I'm glad to see that day care is getting better each day. I cringe to think of putting dd there in a few weeks. I would so much rather raise her at home, but that just isn't realistic for us either.

Desert--Congrats on your little girl!!! You will both have so much fun. I'm staying updated on your blog too (when I can find the time...it's so hard to keep up these days). Thanks for sharing all of the lovely pictures. The thread is great too:)

Isa--I simply cannot believe you are so close! I hope you are able to stay comfortable in these last days. And yippee for tomorrow being your last day of work! It'll be so nice for you to take a break, nest, be crafty, meet up with us in Chicago (!), and get all of those last minute things done. I'm sending welcoming vibes to Prosper for a speedy arrival!

AFM--So I found out that I need to be back to work on the 23rd of this month which was four days sooner than I thought I had. Oh well. I called the day care today and we are going to hang out there next week for a few hours just to see what it's like again. DD#2 cannot start her infant program at the fancy place that DD#1 goes to until September so we had to find an alternative until then. I hope I love this place...

Baby S is doing great. We walked over to the hospital this morning and get her weighed. 11 lbs even. She is continuing to chunk up nicely and is wearing her 3-6 month clothes now. It's so strange to look at her stack of preemie clothes and think that she was actually swimming in them not too long ago.

We are doing better at night lately, mainly because she has discovered the joy of nursing while I'm lying on my side. It's pretty much like an all night snack bar, but I'm actually able to get decent sleep without having to sit up and prop myself up with a network of pillows.

Next Wednesday is our trip to the Midwest and I'm getting so excited about it. Almost all of my family is there and I'm really looking forward to them seeing the girls and being able to hand Baby S off to be cuddled by aunts, uncles and cousins. I'm hoping for warm weather too!

I am so sorry that I can't get to everyone in personals. Know that I'm thinking of you all and trying to keep up when I can!

[justrose13]

hey, everybody!

just wondering... where's Library??

[smilingsara]

Isnt she on spring break?!

Or maybe she told the mean girls to shove off and quit and is enjoying her time home with Alice!!

[DesertSunsets]

Haha, Sara, I wish I could "like" your post about telling the Mean Girls to shove it!

[smilingsara]

Thanks! I truly hope that's what happened!!

[SwtRainbowBrite]

I really hate to word vomit and run but I have to release this somewhere or I am going to explode and then have a complete and total meltdown:

So I know a lot of you have been patiently waiting to hear the results of my 3hr glucose (as have I), and this afternoon I was kindly put out of my misery. My favorite midwife and mentor called me and I knew from the sound of her voice that this was by no means a casual call. She is not one for sugar coating so she started the conversation with "I have Bad news" and since I had been anxiously awaiting the results of my test I knew this is what she was referring to and all I could say was SHIT! She informed me that I had failed my 3 hour test, and in fact my numbers were so high that they needed to consult with an outside physician. The outside physician felt that my numbers were so high that I will need to be put on insulin immediately. All of this time, the inevitable is not clicking in my head. She started telling me that for the rest of the pregnancy I will need to monitor my blood sugars via finger prick several times a day, and the baby will need to be monitored often via ultrasound and NSTs. Even after all of that it still hadn't clicked in my head so I asked the million dollar question: "Am I being risked out of my homebirth?" And because she doesn't pull any punches she flat out told me Yes, there is no way with my numbers that I can deliver my baby I home, I need to have constant monitoring through the rest of my pregnancy, and the baby will need to be monitored constantly during labor and they cannot do that at home. At this point I broke down, all of my hopes and dreams for a birth in my living room came crashing around me. I now have to be transferred to a Diabetes High Risk Prenatal Clinic at the local "teaching" hospital and I just feel my VBAC slipping through my fingers. I am a member of the birth community so I am aware that most Obs don't want you to go past your due date (or hell anywhere near it for that matter) because of fears of your placenta aging from the high glucose levels, and of course because I have had a previous C-Section I cannot be induced which means 9 times of out 10 some scalpel happy surgeon is going to just add me to the bank of repeat cesarean which is my ultimate nightmare. I know from having a baby that passed away that at the end of the day all that is supposed to matter is that I walk away with a living, breathing, healthy child, but I can't help but be heartbroken with all of those dreams of natural intervention free pregnancy and childbirth thrown out of the window. And to think just this morning I was about to order my birth kit and birthing pool. I don't even know where to begin to pick up the pieces but I know I have to do so and fast......

[seraf]

Rainbow, I'm so sorry for your bad news. That is a triple whammy (or quintuple when it hits you that your risk for developing diabetes later in life increases and your daughter is also going to be at greater risk for developing GD when she grows up).

The good thing about this is you can come up with a plan. Diabetes is awful. You can manage it. There is a lot of info in the pregnancy forums for what people do day to day. You can eat properly for what your body needs right now. You can exercise after meals to push the sugar into your cells and you can monitor your sugar and use insulin when needed to keep you and the baby as healthy as possible. For many women, GD is a kick in the butt, the face the challenge and come out healthier on the other side. I'm sorry if you want to punch me right now, I am on the verge of tears myself. It isn't fair to have to go through this. To try to look on the bright side when you're in an abyss. I know you have the strength to get through this but it would be nice if you didn't have to be strong for once.

Risking out of home birth sucks. Can you call around to find out which doctors in which hospital has the highest rate of natural birth. Go with them and find out the things you can do to increase your chances.

If you do face a repeat c-section, I don't know. Hopefully you can come to a place where you find peace.

Hugs to you on this day of change.

[justrose13]

oh, Brite.... I'm so very sorry. my heart hurts for you. but you are right, bringing home a healthy child is what's important here. and as a c/s "survivor" with a one year old (!), it really is a distant memory. it really isn't what matters most. I'm wishing you love and light and a speedy "recovery" from this news. and you never know, things might go just fine for you! perhaps you'll go into labor at 38 weeks and the babe will come swiftly! try not to worry too much, b/c in the end it doesn't really matter.

ps. there's a forum on here for this sort of thing, I think, if you're interested...

[dandylez]

Brite, I'm so sorry about the glucose test. I don't know as much about it as many of the other women here, but I understand the desire to have a vaginal birth and avoid a caesarean.  I really hope that, at the end of the day, you get the birth you want, and you come home with a healthy little babe!

Gumshoe, thanks! The first interview went well, but there will be a 2nd and 3rd round.  I love Ottawa, but we're not bilingual unfortunately, and she's looking for an NP position. St. Catherine's was okay.  A real mix of lower and higher incomes, but not a whole lot of diversity otherwise.  A lot of smokers!! :(  But also quite pretty. I could imagine us living there if it was right. Glad daycare is going okay for you guys. I hope it ends up being a place you love!

Isa, Thanks! I hope we find the right place too. Thinking about you tons these days. We'll wait for that birth story, don't you worry. You just take care of yourself and spoil yourselves a bit between now and the baby arriving.

Nothing much to report here. Slept nearly 11 hours last night, almost straight through except for waking to pee. Yesterday took a lot out of me, I guess, and I wasn't even the one being interviewed! :)

[AmandaHope]

Brite: You've gotten some good, positive responses already, so I'll go ahead and take the more "negative" route--I'd be devastated to get the news you just got.  I completely understand your feelings of disappointment, frustration, anger, and shock.  With DD1, we were all set for a home birth when my water broke at 35 weeks.  I really did go into a kind of emotional shock, and all I could think about was what I was losing.  My mom flew into town for the birth and met us at the hospital (where I was being monitored before starting induction) with these little pillows she'd made for the baby.  It took seeing those to realize that I was going to get to meet my baby!  I had nearly forgotten in the fog of disappointment and in the strain of trying to shift gears entirely.  You have some time to make this adjustment, and I wouldn't expect yourself to do it immediately.  I'd go ahead and sit with the loss for a little while if you can, and then you can start the work of reorganizing all of your plans.  Choosing your new OB carefully will be important--hopefully your midwife can help.  It is good that you are such an informed birthing mom already so that you know the reality of the situation and can make the best choices possible.  But yeah, your choices will be quite limited, and your baby needs you to protect her by taking the diabetes seriously.  I'm so sorry.  Hugs to you. 

Isa: I can't believe you are so close!  So today is your last day of work?  That's awesome.  What are your plans for the time between now and when the baby comes? 

Omom: So good to hear from you.  2 weeks already!  Sage sounds like she is adjusting to the outside world well.  Good for you for clinging to this hazy time and cudding/staying in bed, etc. as much as possible.  The nursing is going well?  I think we need a pic of Sage!

Qmama: Great to hear from you, too!  I know how hard it is to keep up here with a little one...though 11 lbs isn't tiny, anymore! You must be thrilled that she is gaining so well now.  3-6 month clothes--woo hoo!  Starting daycare so soon sounds hard, and I hope that you and she are both happy with the interim daycare.  It must be nice to know that she can start at the daycare you already know and love starting in September.  Oh--and side-lying nursing through the night is the BEST.  It saved me this time.  Lilah started it immediately, and it made sleep so much easier than it was with Z, who didn't really ever take to nursing lying down.  It is the main reason L still sleeps with me, and I love it.  When she squirms, I just help her hook her back up and fall back asleep in a minute or two.  No crying, no fuss, easy peasy. 

Library: Yeah, what's up?  Planning your move?  Hanging with Alice? In jail after finally beating up the Mean Girl?

Wehrli: How is your TODDLER?  Is he really walking? 

AFM: Pumping again...need to take a shower and escape to the local coffee shop to grade a bunch of papers and grad exams today.  Exciting, I know.  Lilah did great with Jamie yesterday.  Jamie was texting me all day long with pics and expressions of delight about how happy, fun, active, and delightful Lilah is.  Jamie's own kids are in hs and college, and she is loving caring for a baby again. I definitely think we made the right choice.  Relief hardly covers it--I can feel my cortisol levels sinking...ahhh.  So good. 

Also, for those who have been with me since the ttc days...we originally tried to conceive L using a known donor who is the husband of one of my best friends from grad school.  But it didn't work, so we switched to a wtbk donor. Anyway, that friend and her hubby have been trying to have their own baby for YEARS.  She has terrible fertility problems (she is a DES baby, had cervical cancer, has no viable eggs, a think uterine lining, ETC.).  After three years of drugs, protocols, wait lists, etc etc. she is finally going to get her chance next week.  They are using donor eggs and her husband's swimmers, and the docs and her eastern med protocols managed to get her uterine lining up to par, so they are transferring the embryo next week in their first transfer attempt.  I am so hopeful for her (though still worried about m/c and high risk pregnancy).  If anyone has spare good thoughts/vibes to send Heather's way next week, feel free...  

[seraf]

AmandaHope, I'm sending happy fertile thoughts to the west coast, right?

Shay's new thing is nursing standing up (I changed the effect because I could see his bits in the shadows of the real picture).

[justrose13]

AHope, I was just wondering about your friend, seriously, like 3 days ago! thinking very fertile thoughts for them! keep us posted, please?!

also, I'm soooo very happy that things are working out with Lilah and Jamie! what a load-off, I'm sure!

and, yes, S is walking! he took his first un-"coaxed" steps the day before his birthday and is toddling more and more every hour! it's amazing to watch this development, he's sooo pleased with himself! I've caught it on video twice, once on my "dumb"-phone and once on the vid camera but he was in his birthday suit, so I can't post either. I should really get on catching footage of these first days of walking, though...

Seraf, neat photo! my S has always loved nursing while standing! 

afu, not a whole lot more than what I posted above... we had family portraits and one year photos taken at a department store yesterday. they turned out really cute! I'll post some when we get the disk in a little over a week. and maybe later I'll post a low res sneak-peek from y PC. we have b-day/Easter festivities this wknd, my 'rents tomorrow and IL's on Sunday. oh, and a big egg hunt at our doula-turned-friend's home Sun morn. i really can't wait for that!

[prettyisa]

Qmama—you’ll be pleased to know that my over-achieving organization reflex has already not only mocked up birth announcements, but pre-ordered pretty stamps and printed out the address labels! Now we’ll see if I remember to put all of those things together once the kid is here! Sorry about the sooner return to work, but at least you found out now and not the week before, I guess. Can’t wait to see you and your lovely girls!

Oh, Brite, I’m so sorry to hear your news. You’re right about the outcome being the most important thing, but that doesn’t make it any less awful that you have to face such an abrupt change of plans, and so far from what you had hoped for.

Ahope—craft projects, mostly. There are still some things that could be cleaned (actually, if I really feel nesty at some point, our whole freaking house could use to be cleaned) but I’m more inclined to finish the freaking rug for the nursery that has been driving me crazy, try to make some cute little outfits, and, hopefully, a burst of energy that will have me reorganize the pantry. We shall see…Definitely hopeful about your friend! What heartbreak for them—I hope you’ll be celebrating with them very soon! Also, Jamie sounds perfect-and L sounds like the perfect thing for her, too! How nice that everyone wins!

AFM—so, we managed to go clubbing after all last night. It was pretty fun, actually! The night we like to go to starts off as Bear Night and then transitions into a general queer night that tends to bring in a lot of young hipster types, so it’s a really fun mix of people. We met a few friends there, danced some, got some really sweet oh-my-god-you’re-pregnant comments (and it was SO NICE to have them then immediately look at DP and ask if she was the father, no pause at all) and then left around 11:30. Glad to have gotten out for one last hurrah! Midwife yesterday cleared us to start some gentle induction stuff, so this weekend we’re going to break out the evening primrose oil and I’ll be drinking more raspberry leaf tea. We’ll probably see how it goes and then step things up a notch or two after the due date on Tuesday. She said that they don’t like to let IVF babies go much past 41 weeks (something about there being a higher incidence of meconium?) so we’re looking at maybe having a medical induction on the 16th, but I’m hoping this party will get started before then!

[prettyisa]

Wehrli--crosspost! S is so cute in those photos--I can't wait to see more of them! And the walking is amazing--do you think he'll get into the egg hunt? Or does he still have to focus on staying upright?

[justrose13]

isa, he's still mostly focusing on staying upright but ya never know, he might be running by sunday! i'm glad you were able to go "clubbing" one last time before the kiddo debutes... sound's like a good time was had! and good luck getting labor going before the "dreaded induction".

ok, here's a few low res pics:

[DesertSunsets]

Just wanted to share a picture of our Easter egg!