Weekly Chat: April Showers Bring May Flowers <3 **April 1-April7** - Page 5 « Back to Group Discussions

[forestmushroom]

Originally Posted by maryamrose 

Quote:

thank you! my midwife also recommended them yesterday, so I called and I have a consult with Dr. Perlman. they take our insurance and don't charge a crazy membership fee (one place was $900, ouch!), so hopefully it'll work out. we're (so far) mostly on board with vaxing, just not on the schedule, and minus a couple we're uncomfortable with, which I feel like isn't too abnormal for families around here. but I also hear that many doctors get defensive about any alternative to the schedule, so who knows.

oh, cool!  That is what we did and they didn't hassle us at all about skipping certain things and delaying others. If MIchael Linn is in the Oakland office he is really cool.  Tina Hong is a good doctor as well, but I think she is mainly in the Alameda office. .. woah, $900 ?!  that seems wild. I don't remember ever waiting long there, either.

Meredith: I hate bringing a baby to the doctor, too.  In fact I hate going to the ped. during flu season so I never take my kids in during the winter if I can avoid it.  I took my last little guy in when he was 2 weeks old and my doctor gave me a bit of a hard time about it... but really, why do you want to rush out after having a baby? I just didn't feel up to it. I think within the first month is good, just to establish care, get a good weight, etc.

[sosurreal09]

Our ped said not to even make an appointment until baby is 2 weeks. I  hate well check ups but I do them b/c I'm paranoid about CPS and the "medical neglect" some of my family thinks is going on since we stopped vaxing my vaccine INJURED child.

[LinnieThree]

I'm just catching up here and I want to say "whooohooo" to Meredith and her great ultrasound and I agree with Sarah that based on your pictures- I cannot see where you put that weight. You look amazing. I have cottage cheese thighs and bum right now and I have noticed that I get really "lumpy" in the thigh/bum area with each pregnancy but that always disappears pretty quickly. I hope it's true this time because we are looking at houses with pools now and I would like to wear a bathing suit this summer! (for the record- I would still wear one and be proud of my body)

Grace- I am always shocked about the differences between Quebec and Ontario. DH is from Montreal but he moved here when he was 12 so he doesn't know a lot about the province and I know next to nothing. You have clinic co-op's?? Tell me, is it better and quicker care then the Urgent Care clinic's in Ontario? I have to say that we are very lucky and we have an amazing family health network team which means that if our fam dr isn't available, we can see someone else on the team and I have always experienced nothing less then excellent care at our hospital. We do have a pediatrician for DS because he has had trouble pooping since infancy and due to his speech delay (which is no longer a huge concern as he has had a language burst and speaks now) but we have no ped for DD.

We are still having sex once a week and this is by far the furthest into pregnancy that we have made it. We were just like "35 weeks- high 5!". It's often very comical and we turn ALL the lights off and its often a quicky but it's nice to still have that connection. We almost went a whole year without it during my first pregnancy and after her birth. I am having dirty dreams again so I wake up wanting it! I dreamt about my OB the other night... he is a handsome man!

[Kamiro]

LOL Lindsay.

We are still accomplishing it somehow also. It has actually been pretty nice lately. LOL

[LinnieThree]

onemore- . It has really made a difference in our level of closeness this time around.

[MeredithA]

Sooo jealous of you mamas who are still getting regular sex! DH is very loving and cuddly but the bigger I get the less interested he is in dtd.

I'm wearing a turquoise tank today and he keeps calling me his Easter egg because my belly looks like one. Very sweet.

We made an upsetting discovery this weekend. DH's dad is incapable of caring for DS when I go into labor. We left him w grandpa for our usual date night and when we arrived back, DS was watching late night TV and the door to the house was unlocked. Grandpa was sleeping on the sofa. Unacceptable!!! DS could have easily wandered out of the house! We had planned on having DS stay with grandpa for a day or two when the new baby arrives so DH can fully focus on the birth and not worry about anything else. Now we are just a month away from he birth and I am worried about (1) grandpa & grandma's reaction when we tell them they can no longer watch DS for date night much less the birth and (2) who will watch DS during labor

We have lots of family and friends around BUT they work during the day and most wouldnt be able to leave work and be w/ DS when the time comes. I suggested just keeping DS with us but DH is nervous enough about UC and doesn't want to feel too overwhelmed. I might ask my neighbor ~ she homeschools and is home with her 4 kids 24/7... I just hate to ask such a huge favor! I know she is super busy.

Hope everyone is having a good Easter/Passover/weekend!

[alittlesandy]

Meredith, I feel your pain in more ways than one!!! First of all, DH won't come near me, lol. He's a bit put off by the baby being "right there" and I as much as I try I can't convince him otherwise. The last time I convinced him to finally go for it my belly was so much in the way it was comical. We tried doggy-style and let's just say it was a grand failure. I really don't think he's sees me as a sex object right now, which sucks because pregnancy hormones are...well...doing their thing, lol.

As for someone taking care of DS while I'm at the hospital, we are running into some problems as well. My parents are coming, but they are less than helpful during normal visits so I'm bit dubious about their ability to take care of DS while we're not home, especially changing diapers and dealing with him during tantrums, etc. My sister, who is excellent with kids, has promised to come, but can ONLY come for a narrow, three-day window. If it's during my scheduled c/s, we're good, but if I go into labor before that, we're a little screwed. I have a few neighbors who can come over in an emergency, but they all have small children of their own to deal with.

[forestmushroom]

We've hired a postpartum doula mainly to watch the kids... All our regular baby sitter connections aren't used to coming at the drop of the hat, day or night, so that was the only person we could think of.

In an emergency, my bro or SIL could come over since they live super duper close, but wouldn't want them to watch all 4 of our little guys, since SIL is preggo, my brother has a huge work commute of over an hour, and they have 3 kids already!  So they could come over and stay here in the middle of the night until the doula got here if need be, but otherwise I couldn't really think of anyone else.

Its expensive, but I couldn't deal with a flaky baby sitter or someone else just leaving us hanging...

Meredith, maybe you can find a postpartum doula to do childcare? I hope you find someone!  Did you at least talk to grandpa about what happened? I do not trust my parents to watch my kids... but if they did regularly and something like that happened once, I think I would just talk with them and let them know how wrong it was...

[MeredithA]

I originally didn't want to shell out the $$ for a doula, but now it is sounding more and more necessary. 

This is not the 1st time grandpa's judgement has made me question leaving DS with him. This was just the last straw. There have been many little incidents and I have talked to him about every single one. Each time he says he understands why the issue bothered me and says he won't let it happen again. He means well...but....he is forgetful. For example. a few months ago he watched DS along with my nephew. My nephew was taking medication and grandpa left the meds down on the kitchen table after giving them to my nephew. So, I get back and these pills are right next to DS's snack on the table! They were in a bottle, but I was furious!! I realize he *meant* to put them back in the cabinet & just forgot...but you can't forget things like that when you are watching kids! This latest incident with leaving the door unlocked and falling asleep on the sofa has just done it for me. DS will absolutely not be left alone with grandpa ever again. We love gramps, but he just can't babysit. 

It is too bad because he is retired and is available at the drop of a hat, day or night, and lives only 8-10 minutes away. But...yea, I'm going to have to figure something else out ASAP. 

[forestmushroom]

that is so hard... but I totally get it.  For similar reasons (and besides my mom being batshit crazy!) I can't leave my kids with my folks.  Maybe the older ones in my dad is there, but no way the younger ones... I hope something works out!  Yeah the money for the doula is a lot, on top of everything else, but what else can ya do.
 

Originally Posted by MeredithA 

I originally didn't want to shell out the $$ for a doula, but now it is sounding more and more necessary. 

This is not the 1st time grandpa's judgement has made me question leaving DS with him. This was just the last straw. There have been many little incidents and I have talked to him about every single one. Each time he says he understands why the issue bothered me and says he won't let it happen again. He means well...but....he is forgetful. For example. a few months ago he watched DS along with my nephew. My nephew was taking medication and grandpa left the meds down on the kitchen table after giving them to my nephew. So, I get back and these pills are right next to DS's snack on the table! They were in a bottle, but I was furious!! I realize he *meant* to put them back in the cabinet & just forgot...but you can't forget things like that when you are watching kids! This latest incident with leaving the door unlocked and falling asleep on the sofa has just done it for me. DS will absolutely not be left alone with grandpa ever again. We love gramps, but he just can't babysit. 

It is too bad because he is retired and is available at the drop of a hat, day or night, and lives only 8-10 minutes away. But...yea, I'm going to have to figure something else out ASAP. 

[sosurreal09]

I don't have anyone to watch me kid and we are having a HB. Hope it works out!

[BubbleMa]

Meredith, if our EDD's weren't so close I'd offer to watch him for you. 

Check out care.com  It's mostly for nannies, but I see lots of requests for temporary care too.  And you can make whatever arrangements you want.  Maybe you could even have someone go to FIL's house to "help" him with DS? 

Or, are there any teachers at his school you could ask?

[Astraia]

Linnie- I have no idea what the coops here are like. The waiting list is ginormous and you have to pay (the last one I asked about was $3,000!) to be accepted as a patient there. I think in a lot of cases it's the only way to get in to see a doctor without going to the ER. I have called tons of clinics and none of them are accepting patients and if they did it's a 2+ yr waiting list, and the walk in clinics will only accept you if you've been there before. Soooo I go to Ontario and pay out of pocket.

Sex- tried again. Doggy style also = failure, a lot of laughing. Would be nice for the connection, but honestly the laughing and ridiculousness is almost more fun.... This is the first pregnancy I've been even remotely interested, the other two whenever DH touched me even in passing I had to resist the urge to strangle him. So it would be nice, but i think i give up.

Meredith- yikes! That would scare me too. Is it just Gramps or is Grandma there as well? She isn't able to run interference or set alarms or something like that? I can't leave my kids with my parents either, there have been times where I'm visiting and run out to the grocery store to find both kids playing in the not clean, not finished, power tools/live electrical wiring basement by themselves, one of them screaming, and my parents totally oblivious and off doing their own thing. Luckily my in-laws are a different story, and live much closer so they can actually be helpful.

I think if your kid can watch TV and feed themselves they should be OK during a HB... well, depending on age and personality, etc. The level of attention they need changes a lot from one year to the next.