I so greatly appreciate the responses! I was having a whirlwind of a day when I originally posted this, and it passed. Things do get overwhelming, but really, they're moments, and then they're over. I find in the heat of those moments though it's so, so easy to lose perspective of the bigger picture. Thanks for being an ear for me, and for all the advice.
I do feel I'm executing my options as far as getting help goes. And I appreciate the recommendations. Maybe I could look into getting more help again if these overwhelmed moments seem to get more frequent. They come and go.
My partner and I moved to a new area when the boys were very young (not that I recommend moving with 3 weeks old twins- but again, it was a moment, and it's done, and we survived!) which put us practically within a stone's throw of some helpful family members vs. not having any support where we were residing.
And just since the business was touched on a bit, I'll touch on it a bit too. I've been working in the Early Childhood Education field, and am in the position of opening up my own child care centre. A wonderful option for me returning to work, though not essentially taking care of other people's children while paying into separate child care options for my own- which is what would have been the case in staying with my former place of employment. I'm so fortunate to be in this situation- again, I just completely lost sight of it the day I posted this. There's a lot of work going into it, but the pay off is huge. I have the rare opportunity of throwing myself into a job I love, while first and foremost engaging in real quality time with my children throughout their young lives.
I'm realizing the hard way too my professional background works wonders for the practical application of caring for children, and is a HUGE hurdle for me to get over the fact that just because I used to be oh-so developmentally appropriate, consistent, loving, warm, and all things wonderful for little children at work, doesn't mean I can always keep it together and be perfect all the time. As an educator I slept at night, as a mom- I don't always. I'm doing my best.
And I never thought much about hiring on older children as mother's helpers- or "baby helpers"! I've actually since chatted with a twin mom (mother of four all told) who was living away from family/friend supports at the time of her twins births, so she enlisted a few kids around that age range from the neighbourhood to come play with babies while she cleaned, showered, etc. She had a little extra help at the time, then essentially raised her own care providers- now they're teenagers and completely know the ropes, plus her kids are familiar and happy with them, and she and her hubby can actually get out of the house for dates! Go them! Great idea :)
Today is a unique, special, sad and odd day for me. I'm in a fortunate position of learning to look at the greater picture all the more, and that lesson is so vital. I received news of a dear person who passed, and today also met a fresh, new family member- just a day old. Life cycles on, and we have to enjoy the ride as much as possible. I love the moments in which that fact practically beats me over the head with it's truth, I need it sometimes.
All the best. Thank you all once again. With love. :)