I wanted to respond to this last night, but needed to go to bed instead, but I see now that many have answered it in mostly the same manner I was going to! But I figured I should lend support to the conversation since I've been a part of it from the start.
Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj
I'm kind of wondering... those of you who won't let your child cry for even 10 minutes, what do you do when you're driving down the highway and LO starts crying in the back seat? I'm assuming it sometimes takes you a few minutes to find a safe place to pull over.
Or what if you're cooking and have a pan of hot food in your hands, and no place to put it down quickly? (This last might be a Northeastern US problem... we tend to have older houses, smaller kitchens and less counter space.)
Or what if you're in the shower? As someone who has personally fallen and hit my head in the bathroom, trying to get out of the bath too quickly, I move slowly and cautiously around slippery surfaces these days.
Is the crying-baby-brain-damage only caused when you *could* respond faster to the baby and choose not to? If so, how does the baby know your intentions? Is a puzzlement.
Driving... I avoid long drives whenever possible, but since this is obviously not always possible in today's society and with older kids, I do my best to keep the baby comforted while driving. Sometimes this meant putting a finger in his/her mouth or stroking his/her head (yes, I could do this while still keeping my eyes on the road). Sometimes this meant shaking toys or putting toys on the car seat handle to provide distraction. And most often this meant playing music, singing, talking, etc. to reassure him/her that they were safe and I was there. When dh and I drove together, I would sit in the back seat for long trips or move to the back seat if the crying was not solved with any of the above solutions. Now the older kids are back there and can make faces at the baby, too.
Cooking.... If baby was not content in the bouncy seat, I would put him/her in a carrier. While baby is in the carrier I would not attempt to pour large amounts of boiling liquid or stand in front of a spitting hot skillet, but many other kinds of cooking can easily be accomplished. Once I can get baby on my back it's all much easier. If I had to do something more dangerous, I would provide baby with a distraction, sing, etc. while quickly accomplishing the task, which would likely take less than 2 minutes.
Showering... I shower mostly when dh is around. I get up early before he has to leave for work or I shower at night. If I needed to shower without him around (like now that he's out of town), I put the baby in a bumbo or bouncy seat next to the shower and talk/sing, etc. I also provide him with toys to grab at. I actually have more issue showering with my older two unattended!
I don't find any of these situations any where near the same as CIO b/c a care giver is trying to reassure the baby at all times with talking or touching and is doing everything else they can to ease the baby's distress until they can be picked up safely. CIO is when baby is purposely left to cry with little, decreasing amounts, or no reassurance at all.