Help With Custody Of Stepson, No Negative comments, Or Attacks I'll Report and block - Page 6

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by BrascosPrincess 

he doesn't have a driver's liscense and doesn't like to drive and has no intrest at all in driving, and yes im totally fine with this and fully support his decision...

 

Originally Posted by Mom31 

Why can your husband not drive himself?

He needs to learn to drive. He's a big boy, and needs to find a way to not be dependent on other people.

It's fine that you don't mind him not driving, but it would take a huge burden off of you. Really, a huge burden.

[BrascosPrincess]

no he doesn't need to learn how to drive, it's his personal decision if he wants to or not. I am not discussing this anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 


He needs to learn to drive. He's a big boy, and needs to find a way to not be dependent on other people.
It's fine that you don't mind him not driving, but it would take a huge burden off of you. Really, a huge burden.

[BrascosPrincess]

im not talking about this anymore it is his personal decision to make NOT mine. end of conversation
 

Originally Posted by pumpkingirl71 

But since your stress level is so high, do you think that if he started driving, that would help?

[BrascosPrincess]

i dont know i know he has a court date coming up but i'm not sure what it's for exactly

 

Originally Posted by lauren 

Just curious if a hearing date has been set yet for change of custody?

[lauren]

BP, I want to suggest that you might think about not offering details that are not relevant to the situation if you wish for people not to comment on them. You have been describing an immensely stressful situation, and folks are making suggestions that would reduce your stress. If you would like to have folks not comment on things that cause you stress, it makes sense not to include those details.

Also, since we are on the Adoptive/Foster parenting forum, this discussion should stay on the topic of the custody issue. A more open ended forum to discuss a whole range of things that might go with this situation would be the Blended Families forum here at MDC.

http://www.mothering.com/community/f/333/blended-and-step-family-parenting

In a way, this is kind of blended/step family issue more than an adoptive foster issue. Just offering that as a suggestion.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by BrascosPrincess 

no he doesn't need to learn how to drive, it's his personal decision if he wants to or not. I am not discussing this anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 


He needs to learn to drive. He's a big boy, and needs to find a way to not be dependent on other people.
It's fine that you don't mind him not driving, but it would take a huge burden off of you. Really, a huge burden.

As long as he can get himself places it's not an issue - I hate driving and don't own a car, but I also live in a major metro area and can take the train/bus everywhere I need to go. Anywhere else I use zipcar (which I joined but haven't used yet).

If he's constantly needing people to take him places, it's a different story.

[BrascosPrincess]

like i already said im not discussing this anymore its his decision and it's not up for discussion on here end of story

 

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 


As long as he can get himself places it's not an issue - I hate driving and don't own a car, but I also live in a major metro area and can take the train/bus everywhere I need to go. Anywhere else I use zipcar (which I joined but haven't used yet).
If he's constantly needing people to take him places, it's a different story.

[BrascosPrincess]

me driving him is not more stress it actually relieves my stress i love driving it helps me relax and is very very theraputic to just drive with the cd player as loud as it can possibly go. and i am trying to keep it on track with the custody thing so i guess venting isn't allowed at all either then? because that's all i was doing. and i dont understand how its not a foster/adoption issue when my husband's son is in FOSTER care at the moment. it's fine nevermind i wont vent anymore since apparently thats one of the thousands of issues you seem to have with me.
 

Originally Posted by lauren 

BP, I want to suggest that you might think about not offering details that are not relevant to the situation if you wish for people not to comment on them. You have been describing an immensely stressful situation, and folks are making suggestions that would reduce your stress. If you would like to have folks not comment on things that cause you stress, it makes sense not to include those details.

Also, since we are on the Adoptive/Foster parenting forum, this discussion should stay on the topic of the custody issue. A more open ended forum to discuss a whole range of things that might go with this situation would be the Blended Families forum here at MDC.

http://www.mothering.com/community/f/333/blended-and-step-family-parenting

In a way, this is kind of blended/step family issue more than an adoptive foster issue. Just offering that as a suggestion.

[Imakcerka]

Sorry Brasco you're having a hard time.  The little things are not always relevant but people honestly want you to be okay.  I hate to hear when I need to buck up and figure things out.  But sometimes it's clears things up for me mentally.  I hope things work out for you guys.  It's a stressful situation altogether.  Good luck.

[BrascosPrincess]

thanks its just awful right now i mean i know a little third grade crap talking and drama starting isn't a big deal, but it is very stressful as we live in an apartment complex and everyone that is doing this crap is literally right next door to me, there is no getting away from it, the only way i can get away from it is to take kids to park but it's been cold and rainy, go drive but i had to clean and stuff today so i couldnt, im just so exhausted from the drama, i just don't know when people will finally grow the hell up. it seems like they never will....
 

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Sorry Brasco you're having a hard time.  The little things are not always relevant but people honestly want you to be okay.  I hate to hear when I need to buck up and figure things out.  But sometimes it's clears things up for me mentally.  I hope things work out for you guys.  It's a stressful situation altogether.  Good luck.

[BrascosPrincess]

so much happened today it's unbelievable. So hubby went to meet our lawyer and the guardian ad lightem today. They agreed on a custody arrangement kind of, they agreed that hubby should have custody of his son but they want to make the transition slowly for him so it's not overwhelming him all at once, we will have him saturday from 8:30am till noon and then overnight wednesday until im not sure what time on thursday or if thursday was overnight too. he still has his court appearance tomorow and our lawyer wants me to go as well. so does this mean he will definately get custody?

[Mom31]

it's looking good I would say- but the foster moms will know more- but from where I stand I think he will end up with you all.

How are you doing?
 

[lauren]

It sounds like it is moving in that direction.
 

[Super~Single~Mama]

It definitely looks like your husband will be getting custody. Hang in there, it may take a little while longer for the little one to actually move (or it could be very soon, I don't know), but having visitation at your home is a good start.

[BrascosPrincess]

so court went awesome today, husband still has his visit on saturday at home but instead of an overnight visit wednesday he officially starts having his Primary physical custody on wednesday and the little one is moving in!!!!! we are very excited and happy

[Mom31]

Great news- I hope the transition for this little one is a peaceful and positive one.
 

[Alphaghetti]

Congratulations! I have been reading this thread and its predecessor from the onset. I am so pleased for you and your family. May all of your transitions be smooth and filled with love.

[Namaste Amma]

Wow! I am so happy for all of you! Lots of positive thoughts headed toward your household that the transition is easy for all! 

[SpottedFoxx]

Congrats!  I read a wonderful blog by an adoptive mother on trauma parenting.  I'd be happy to share the link with you as she is just so full of amazing knowledge (even if your child didn't suffer trauma, I just love her parenting style).  

Best of luck to you and your growing family.

[BrascosPrincess]

we had the unsupervised visit at our home yesterday, it went AWESOME! he adjusted very very well, within a half hour he was not the same quiet shy kid that stood in my kitchen unsure. he loved playing with his sisters and didn't act like he wanted to leave. he did have a moment of sadness, i got down on the floor with him and asked him if he was ok, but he didn't answer me, so i asked him if he wanted a hug, he didn't answer me then either, so i told him to come here and give me a hug he climed up in my lap and gave me a tight hug, after about five minutes i told my husband to try and he picked him up and hugged him and talked to him for a few minutes and he went right back to being a very happy entergetic child. it was so adorable and fun to watch my husband have two little shadows following him around all morning. (my 2 1/2 year old daughter is a HUGE daddy's girl) i feel kind of guilty that i went for my stepson first as soon as i saw he was upset, i feel kind of bad that i took being right there asap away from my husband, and im feeling kind of guilty that i felt maybe i could make him feel better because i am a mom and because i thought he needed someone more softspoken to talk to rather than my husbands very very loud voice. but all in all it was a huge success! my 2 oldest kids loved him, my 6 month old didnt really care, lol. my six month old looked up at him smiled and went back to chewing on his toys so that is a compliment too at least he didn't scream. now i just hope wednesday goes very well and smoothly.