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Dingoes springing into April - Page 11

post #201 of 331
Originally Posted by Mel38 View Post

Oh Plady, take 15 or 20 minutes to read that mother guilt article! I feel your pain! You sound so pulled in every direction.


Is it just me? If a wife/mom pulls that "don't abandon me" face, a husband (or child) can so easily brush it off with a remark like "Are you going to start that again?" or maybe "here she goes" (insert eye-roll), perhaps even "oh, now mom's mad again". Basically, it's no one's problem but the mom/wife. However, when the husband or child makes the face, we are sent into paroxysms of guilt? No fair! banghead.gif

MmmmHmmm (nodding vigorously)
post #202 of 331

Hooo, yeah.


I abandoned ship last night, but good. I had a girls' night out evening scheduled with some new lady friends to go out for Indian food (yum!) and EVEN THOUGH DH HAD TO GO TO A MEETING AT SCHOOL AND BRING THE KIDS WITH HIM (more on this)....I went.


I did, I went out with my friends and left dh to deal with going to a conference and figuring out what to do with the kids. I mean, that's what I always do. And you know what? He handled it, they handled it, and it was fine.


Now, the conference...that was not really fine. I can't really share here, maybe on the yahoogroup. Suffice to say that a bunch of issues have been building up with the school lately and I am *not* impressed with the (seeming lack of) administrative efficacy. I am going to look at the other day school today and have an appointment to observe at the public school next week I think. Why should I bust my a$$ to send them here, make it a point of contention in my marriage, and be so frustrated with so many things about it?! Gah. I don't know. It seems I have more options than I initially thought when we moved here and although I feel stupid that I didn't know, and bad that it might mean yet another switch for at least a couple of my kids, I still feel I have to check it out.


Then again, we all know I"ll never be *really* happy with a school. I know too much about schools, I guess. I do know, however, that there's adequate, and then there's better. Right now we're at adequate. I'd like to try for better.


No RR today...park meeting of LLL leaders this morning which was delightful (nice weather!). Actually maybe I'll do a club run 5K race this evening..not sure yet.

post #203 of 331
Plady - ugh. I wish I had more than goodvibes.gif to offer. I am the poster child for guilt, and my family never even gives me faces disappointed.gif All I have to say is we have been working on our house for a month, and I dont have a job in addition to that, and I am losing my freakin mind. You live in a project, and worl with ungrateful middle schoolers, are trying to support C, and they changed you gym around !!! faint.gif I think doing the best you can is pretty darn good. Maybe a family meeting about schedules and needs is in order?

JG - I think you are doing pretty darn well with your life too. I sure dont want my kids friends over. Three is enough lol.gifbag.gif

Bec - goodvibes.gif for the doggie

Mel38 - Yes indeed. I always laugh, not funny but irked.gif , remembering Nic's description of how she prepped the house before going to the wedding so Dh could manage (and so she could prbably avoid the guilt), b/c I do that every time I go to the gym! Prep everything and then leave Dh instructions - so I wont feel guilty, and then I still hurry home shake.gif

RR: NONE, b/c...

NRR: All Im doing, all day, is packing and cleaing, and if I dont devote all mytime to it I feel it will never be done and I NEED this to be done so I can be free, and go to the gym feeling free..... hence minimal posts lately.....
post #204 of 331

Mel - Yes, yes, yes!!!  I have to say, that I have gotten better over the last few years at demanding my own time.  This doesn't really help with DH and the kids picking up the slack, but at least I come back somewhat refreshed. 


Plady - Honestly, I think that maybe this therapist's comment was crap, too. 


RR: I did get my bike ride in.  20.5 miles.  It was chilly, and I'm trying to defrost now!

post #205 of 331

Coming to update on my dog.  My instinct that something was seriously wrong was correct.  He has a massive tumor in his belly, that is bleeding into his stomach.  The options are a very expensive surgery with a poor prognosis or euthanasia.  It breaks my heart, but he is in pain and discomfort, so, tomorrow evening, we are going to put him to sleep.  I'm so sad.  This has been a truly amazing dog who has done nothing but give us love and devotion for 11 years. 

post #206 of 331

Oh, Bec. I'm so sorry. greensad.gif

post #207 of 331

Oh Bec, I am thinking of you. I'm so sorry and sad to hear this update. He sounds like such a good dog.

post #208 of 331

Oh Bec, I'm so sorry.

post #209 of 331

Thank you ladies.  I got to take some pictures of him with a good camera tonight (some friends came over), and the kids collected some of his fur to keep, and they are making plans for a memorial service for him as well as a little monument for him.  They are broken up, but processing so healthfully.  I've emailed their teachers, so they are aware of why the girls are so sad tomorrow.  I've been basically crying all evening.

post #210 of 331
Thread Starter 

grouphug.gif Bec.. Thinking of you and your family.


Dimitrizmom, I'm belatedly saying go for it with the tri. I did my first tri on a mountain bike and swapped out the fat tires for something more hybrid-like to pick up speed. Since the goal was to finish and not competitive, it was absolutely fine.


And to everyone else with the big round of mama guilt, let's be kind to ourselves.


RR- Just bootcamping this week, and trying to keep my head above water.


NRR- My husband has gone back to the interior to finish up meetings, etc for his job and a bit of research for his writing project. I'm back to the solo parenting and the first week of a new semester including two new courses for me, so very busy. I'm still dealing with the aftermath of my youngest daughter's Easter allergy though her face has cleared up enough now that strangers have stopped asking questions. I got my contracts for the new semester, and with my prep plus the work I already did last week I apparently worked 280% time. No wonder I feel busy lol.gif.

post #211 of 331

I'm so sorry, bec. I do have to add a remark, though, on your quick action and intuitiveness in attending to him and his pain. Make no mistake, your old friend will not forget it. hug2.gif So, so sorry.


MelW, 280%, no kidding. bow.gif 


Nic, meant to add my shoe comment: they are cute, PERFECT imo for a...ahem...quirky teacher winky.gif and I am glad they are comfy for you. I admit my second thought (after oooh, sparkles!) was "I could never wear them." Because of my wide feet that pinch in models like those. But they are sweet. I hear the pain on the school issue and would like to hear more. I got some supportive comments (believe it or not) from dd's teacher re: online school, but it was backhanded enough to make me want to scream a little. I hope things get clearer sooner, not later.


sparkle, I do hope all this packing business is over fast. And that nothing too drastic changes in your gym in the meantime. orngtongue.gif


Plady, just big hugs. I get the feeling. I am trying hard around here to hold my tongue when dh comes home after being gone a couple days and disappears off to have tea with someone he doesn't particularly like (and who is a total loser and is now proving it more and more daily and he will soon need help shaking him off) and leaving me and kids home. But I know he needs to have some social outlet, and the fact that I have no friends here needs to stay out of the equation. He shouldn't be my friend replacement (never could anyway) and I sure as heck don't want him around here crabbed out for lack of bromance. I just wish they could think the same way in our directions. Sigh.


So, RR: I had to run to the ATM yesterday to get cash to pay the cab to school, so I added a loop around the big park for a quick (but not fast) 5.5km. Kids and I got a little more walking in, but not a lot. Today, after this second cup of coffee, I am heading to the beach to see whether I do 4 miles or 8, probably walking. Have been downloading podcasts and enjoying long walks a lot more.


Whole30-R: Feeling good and strong, sleeping well, and now battling something hormonal and the desire to bust into some junk. Surviving it, though.

post #212 of 331
bec--I'm so very sorry. greensad.gif
post #213 of 331
Serial posting with an all-important question. rolleyes.gif I'm heading up to Boulder to register for the BB tomorrow and debating which wave to register in. If I use my qualifying time from last year's BB (55:33) it puts me in the EA wave. If I use my fastest 10K (53:24 from January, it puts me in DC. (They are all of three waves apart). I'm thinking EA because I'm running the Steamboat Marathon only six days later (BB is on Monday; marathon is Sunday) and hopefully that will keep me from using up too much energy on the run? I think the workout plan called for an 8M pace run that weekend and I'm skipping that in favor of running 6 miles a bit faster than pace. WWYD? (Yes, oh so important decisions. But if I'm going to get this done it really needs to be this week, as the next few weeks aren't going to lend themselves to getting up to Boulder otherwise.)
post #214 of 331
Bec~ I'm so sorry. hug.gif

real~FWIW, I think I'm going to be in EC or some such. Not that you're going to want to run with me, as slow as I am right now. Of course, you can always start in a later wave, if you want to.

So, get this...I was actually PRODUCTIVE today. yikes.giflol.gif I worked the last 3, so I had told DS he could either stay up late last night and wait for me to get home from work, or get up a little early and we could have a breakfast date before school. He picked breakfast, so we went to one of my favorite (super yummy) breakfast spots this morning. Not that he really needed to get up early. According to the nanny, he was getting up a little earlier each day, (she thinks) to try to catch me before I left for work. :-( So he was up at 6:15 this morning. Yeesh. I had plans to take a nap when I got home, but instead, loaded up the car to take all the recycling in. A run with friends (SO nice and slow and easy...nice to run with slower peeps for once!) and then I dropped off the recycling, came back home and loaded up stuff to take to goodwill, took all the stuff purged from the playroom after Christmas down to the garage now that there was room, vacuumed the whole house, and THEN took a nap. Ahh. Still, much to do, but it's a start.

I also got going on booking stuff for NYC. I figured that since the lottery closes next week, I should get on it since once people know they're in, they're going to start booking. I have an award itinerary on hold for my flights, and XH is looking at booking my hotel using my/his Hilton points. Here's the crazy thing....I looked at getting tickets to see the Book of Mormon on Broadway while I'm there...$350. EACH. yikes.gif I want to see it, but I can't afford that!!

I am slightly tipsy and sleepy after a very fun night at kickball (where we actually ALMOST won, for once) and then the bar after. Time for bed! No kiddo in the morning=sleeping in, for real! joy.gif
post #215 of 331
tjsmama--EA it is, and if you're around (which I assume you will be), I'll just hang with you and start with EC. And not ditch you halfway through unless you start running 11s or something. wink1.gif BTW, did you notice that the qualifying times got moved up for the waves? I qualified for DB last year, but the times I used to qualify would put me in DC this year. Why are all these people getting faster and I'm getting slower? headscratch.gif
post #216 of 331

He passed in the early morning. Sometime during the night, he had gotten up and went to his place in the hallway. Till the very end, he was doing what he always did for us. Watching the house, making sure we were all safe and sound. RIP my dear friend. brokenheart.gif

post #217 of 331

hug2.gif I'm sorry, bec. candle.gif Good dog.

post #218 of 331

Plady - your dd's therapist bites.  I would never tell a mother that she needed therapy to be more emotionally available.  If I thought it was something I couldn't help within the parameters of your dd's therapy, I would suggest she find someone that would help her get the support she needs and find ways to have her needs met, and how to meet the needs of her family without sacrificing herself.  I really think she bites.  Bad.  I have a mom who is not a touchy feely kind of mom at all...and her daughter desperately is.  It's not that one is right or wrong, but that they have very different needs. So we talk about it in that context that you have these needs and your daughter has these...how do we balance.  We've come up with ideas like painting nails, doing hair, back scratches...all things that the mom is comfortable doing and doesn't tax her.  Then she also reaches beyond and does the huggy stuff, but not as much.  We are all built different and we aren't always a perfect fit...that's when problem solving enters and we look at how to get what we need. I am a touchy feely person with my kids (no one else!), but my dd isn't.  So we often joke about how I will holler, "hey, I need a drive by hug!" and she'll give me a quick hug.  We laugh, she isn't pressed, I get a hug.  And because she doesn't feel pressed I often get more random hugs than if I'm being pushy.


Bec I am so sorry.  You furry baby obviously loves you and your family so very very much.  I feel like sobbing for you.  





post #219 of 331
Bec - candle.gif R.I.P.

NRR: I am pissed. DD1 has a climbing comp tomorrow, for which I registered over the phone with the gym owner, no less, and the running order was posted today and she's not on it. Every slot is filled. They better insert her into the middle of two slots and not at one end or the other of the whole day!!! Get it together people! splat.gif
post #220 of 331

guilty.gif Bec, I'm so sorry for your loss.

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