Edited by Knitting Mama - 4/8/12 at 5:35pm
I thought I was ok with having a boy too until last weekend. I saw a mom with 3 girls super close in age and pregnant with another. We started talking and I found out she's due with her 4th girl. I almost started crying in the store and was in a bad mood the rest of the weekend.
Aimee, I'm the same way. I have accepted that this is a girl, and I'm ok with it, but I still find myself looking at baby boys when I'm out and feeling sad that I can't be that mom, snuggling her little boy. I'm glad I found out on ultrasound, because I am adjusting and even looking forward to her coming, but I'm still not *happy* she's a girl, and not sure I ever will be.
Sol, the hidden costs of pregnancy via kleenex and tp, I follow you! When I'm at home I feel guilty about flushing the toilet so much, and since I'm drinking gallons of water, mainly, I now flush every 3 times or so (this annoys dh a little).
Waffler,I don't have any experience with this, but I have read of people having concern about single-vessel cords (but not about double? is that different?), and go on to have no problems, so I hope that this is the case for you. It sounds as though everything else went really well, so I am happy for you.
Boots, my experience pretty much mirrors that of Euleuthia: I feel movement at night and in the morning after breakfast (if I lounge for a bit on the Internet before getting to work), but during the day he's relatively quiet. He reacts when I eat during the day, moreso if I can stay with my feet up at my desk), and he sometimes gives me a kick here and there when I'm especially talkative or animated.
Rebecca10, great news about the scan! That is interesting about how you managed to prepare yourself so well about it being a boy. That is basically what happened to me, except it is a boy and I also felt that it was, so it was just a matter of continuing with the flow.
Thanks for the thoughts on savings vs. home updates, LilyTiger and other ladies. I don't think there's any way our families could help out in an emergency (well, at least not the family in Spain, which is in a worse financial crisis than in the US and we may need to begin helping them soon), but we're doing well with retirement savings and our regular savings now should cover emergencies and loss of employment for a while. I guess after buying the house, we've just been so focused on building up our savings that it feels wrong to spend any money, especially not knowing exactly how this baby will affect us. DH and I grew up in families that lived month-to-month and didn't manage money well, and also had major crises when we were young or teenagers, so I think this has a lot to do with how we look at money. I think once we know about childcare for January when I go back to work, we'll be better able to plan.
In other news, unplugging the dehumidifier last night I managed to give myself a very minor electric shock in my finger, but of course proceeded to worry. Since I was going to bed anyway, I just climbed in and felt a lot of regular movement (he's active at my bedtime), and now, after waking up starving and eating a big breakfast, he is also moving around (another normal time for movement). I have an ob appt on Tuesday and was considering calling today just to be on the safe side, but I'm almost certain there is nothing to worry about. I found other, some much worse, anecdotal stories through googling and here on mothering, so I think I'm just going to play it by ear, unless someone here thinks I should worry/call the ob.
We're going to work on the registry this weekend. Dh's idea, so I am hoping he spends some of his day off today researching the items we haven't decided on yet!
thanks andaluza. i guess a normal umbilical cord has two arteries and one vein and sometimes one of the arteries doesn't form completely. sometimes babies with this can have other abnormalities of the heart and/or kidneys. we saw both kidneys yesterday and everything looked good otherwise. no other markers or anything. also the fetal echo will hopefully put our minds at ease. like you said, i'm trying to just focus on the fact that everything else was positive. in regard to you being shocked, i actually did this the other day when i was plugging in our range with damp hands (so silly). i THINK it's probably okay but definitely worth bringing up with your ob if it's worrying you.
um totally agree about the kleenex, sol and adaluza....of all the things i was expecting with pregnancy, blowing my nose every five minutes was not on the list. also, we're a "if it's yellow, let it mellow" house because i also feel guilty about all the flushing!! who knew :)
thinking of you ladies who are still processing finding out what you're having....
whoops, meant to also ask if folks are feeling much in the way of braxton-hicks...i guess i'm sort of surprised to be feeling these so soon. in my mind, they were a third trimester issue. luckily the tech who did our ultrasound yesterday reassured me that it's definitely not too early. it's such a weird sensation! not really liking it too much actually :(
Waffler, a lot of women I've talked to had them in the second tri. I don't think I've had them, but I also have no idea what I'm supposed to be feeling in general. Things that I think are heartburn are probably something completely different. I've heard women describe them, but still don't think I've had them yet. Either way, I've heard it's normal and if people on the interwebs say its ok, it obviously is!
Hi all, I don't post here much but Waffler - my firstborn had a two vessel cord and everything was just fine. Be prepared at the birth though, the cord is so skinny! Very weird. Also, I have been feeling BH for a few weeks now. I had them this early in my last pregnancy too, only I didn't realize at the time what they were.
We had our scan today. One apparently healthy, very active baby girl!!! It's exciting and was a lot of fun to see her! But I have to say, it's funny. I was worried I was going to be sad if I found out I was having a boy, so I've spent the last month or so trying to get really excited about the idea of a boy. Apparently it worked--I have a tinge of regret that we are not going to have a boy, especially for my husband's sake, who I know in his heart really wanted one. It's weird how sometimes your emotions can be so unexpected. But as my husband said, in someways there would have been a little sadness either way, just because we know this is almost certainly our last child so we were either never going to have that little boy or never have another girl. And I do love the idea of my daughter having a sister relatively close in age and the ease of having two girls in terms of our two-bed room house, all the clothes we already have, etc. Apparently, we don't grow boys in this family--three generations now of only girls :)
Oh, I did something similar. I started thinking of the baby as the boy's name we picked out and imagining what our son might look like or what his personality might be like. I definitely got back to the point where I could say that I didn't care if it was a boy or girl and meant it. So when we found out we were having a girl, I did experience a little sadness. Not because we're having a girl - truthfully, I always pictured myself having a girl - but because I had to put away my vision of a boy. DH and I felt the same way. When we didn't know the sex, we could hold the two conflicting images in our heads but when we found out the sex, we had to put aside one of the images.
I was prepared not to feel much movement too early but Nina's been moving around a lot. I like to think that she can sense that her mom's neurotic and does it to humor/reassure me.
I had an intense hot flash the other day! I get minor ones at night sometimes but it was weird to be sitting on the couch watching tv and suddenly my head and neck were burning up. Actually, I've been running hot or cold lately. I was expecting to be warm, not to be layering up and snuggling under blankets.
Thanks LittleBirdy! That's reassuring to hear. Do you mind me asking, did you find out during your pregnancy? and if so, did it classify you as high-risk? some of the reading i've been doing indicates that some folks in this boat end up with multiple ultrasounds and non-stress tests. i am also hoping to deliver at a birth center....so not sure if that's going to be affected or not. i have a call into my midwives, so am waiting to hear from them.
Yup I found out at my 20 week u/s just like you. I had a HB, and my midwives refer all their patients who want/need ultrasounds to a MFM practice (and so do half the OB's in my town for that matter; very few of them have their own ultrasound machines). The MFM specialist recommended a fetal echo, which we did, and then monthly scans to check growth - which we did not do. If anything would have presented to make us concerned about growth I would have done them, but nothing ever did. He was born 6 days past his due date weighing 8 lbs 6 oz :)
So no, my midwives didn't classify me as high risk but I know that some providers do.
Waffler - Having worked in maternity health for many years, in my experience it depends on your provider. Some consider it a high risk situation, and some don't. Seems to be opinion based more than anything. And I have seen many babies with SUA come out strong and healthy, so if your OB/midwife isn't worried, I wouldn't be too worried.
As for BH, I don't remember when I started feeling them last time, but this time I've had them since the end of the first tri. I agree, it isn't a pleasant feeling at all.
On the gender disappointment thing, people have started telling me how "perfect" my family will be now that we have a boy and are expecting a girl. That really pisses me off for a number of reasons. For one thing, is there something wrong with little boys so that my family would have something wrong with it if I had two boys? And it also implies that now we should stop having kids, because we have one of each. Sorry, nope, not going to happen!
Feralfox, i hate that mentality too.
Been having BH and I LOVE them. Sorry. LOL
I'm HOT all the time. ALL THE TIME.
OH man, I had some WICKED ones at 3 this morning. They were HORRIBLE. like, between normal BH and labor. (I had a malpositioned kid last time, sooooo)
MW told me next time to drink 1/2 a glass of wine and take a hot bath and if they don't settle down ~ ie If i have more than 5 -6 insanely intense ones in a rhythmn in an hour to CALL HER IMMEDIATELY and not wait until the office opened like I did this morning. And that it was LIKELY nothing to worry about because 2nd babies BH are more intense and frequent and such. Baby's doing fine though, The kid wiggles around CONSTANTLY its insane.
How do you know when you're having Braxton Hicks vs just an achy uterus/ligaments? The aches I get (from taking a long walk, etc) seem to last til I've rested awhile without really coming & going. Would I feel an obvious start and stop?
When I had BH last pregnancy (haven't had any yet this pregnancy), my whole abdomen would get very hard, but not painful. It was very noticeably hard, though.
Hey everybody! I wanted to chime in on the gender disappointment conversation. I am having my second son. I am disappointed not to be having a girl but I am super excited to have another boy at the same time. It is like the two aren't really related. I was expecting another boy and would have been surprised had it been a girl but it is hard to get with the idea that I may never have a daughter. That that is just not my life. Expectations are tricky things. I never imagined growing up that I would have all boys but it seems that we may be going in that direction. And like I said I love that idea separate of the fact that it means no daughter.
Anyway I posted this in a different thread about my mother experiencing her own disappointment and being unable to hide it.....
"My mother was also unable to hide her disappointment. Sigh. I was excited to announce my news as I am pretty thrilled about the boy baby in my belly. She reacted with appropriate if not entirely genuine enthusiasm and then proceeded to say things like....."Are we sure it's a boy?"....."I guess if you want a girl you'll have to have three babies"....."I guess now you can't but all those cute baby doll clothes" etc. I am still very annoyed by her reaction. How dare she act like my son is not wanted or that I am just going through boys to get to the girl. I may have one or two more babies and they may very well be boys. I am totally down with that. I don't like her implication that somehow a girl is the prize and these boys we just have to tolerate."
My mom did the same thing Harmony08 as did my FIL/BIL etc, they all really wanted 'all girls' and then were pretty bummed when I told them DS1 was a boy.. Its hard like you said- that girls are a prize and boys are just tolerated. .
What you are describing sounds like what I've been feeling too so far. It actually mostly started yesterday, when I was on my feet all day preparing for the Passover Seder and got this tightness and achiness in my uterus that wouldn't go away. I'm not entirely sure but I don't think this is BH.
I got some of this from my mom too, although it was when I told her we were having another girl. She tried to be excited, but couldn't quite hide that pause and slight dissapointment in her voice. Oh, well. She herself says she loved having just two girls, so I'm I'm sure she'll get over it.
AFM, We are about 30 minutes into our experiment of having my daughter move out of her our bed and into a crib in her room--with her daddy sleeping next to her for now in a blow-up bed. She was excited about it when she went to bed--and actually demanded to go immediately into the crib before she was even asleep and then fell asleep in the crib, which is unheard of for her, and nothing we were trying to do today. But I'm not sure that excitement will last when she wakes up at 10 or so and realizes she's not coming into our bed like usual. I really, really hope it goes okay. But even if it does, it's sad to think of her not sleeping next to me, even though I do think it's the right thing for our family to at least try for a variety of reasons. Anyone who has made this transition of a child out of the family bed have any advice or insight to share?
Happy Passover and Happy Easter to anyone celebrating one or both this weekend!
Rebecca When I transitioned my oldest girl out of my bed during my last pregnancy, she was 5, but here's what worked... I always kept her room and bed made up for her...she would play and nap in her own space, but then at night time we would read and fall asleep together. At the point I was ready, I made her a little bed on the floor next to my bed and she would sleep there. I always mentioned each night, that that was her space until the baby came, and that mama would need to have the baby in the bed, but now that she was going to be the BIG sister, she could get to sleep in her very own bed. It took the entire pregnancy, and she would still pop in sometimes in the middle of the night, so I would let her climb in and then take her to her bed after she was sleeping for a bit. We are doing the same thing with our 3.5 year old now- we fall asleep together, and then I move her. If she wakes up in the night, I make her a bed on the floor. It takes time, but eventually they want their own space. I still make time for snuggles in mama and daddy's bed for both so we can all get our fix! Good luck :)