Anybody use donor eggs?

[rcr]

It looks like our 4-year struggle with IF has come to a turning point. My last IVF cycle didn't work out, and all along it has looked like an egg quality issue. We are thinking of moving on to donor eggs, and I am really struggling with this decision. I was wondering if anybody has done it, or is planning to use donor eggs? I have so many fears and concerns about it. I look at my DS and he looks just like me, does so many things like DH and I... I am just really sad about the loss of that.  I am afraid that I will look at a donor egg baby differently than I see my own DS, somehow. Maybe that is irrational.

Has anybody done it? Whats it really like?

[Buzzer Beater]

Yes I did it!!

You can see by my av what it's really like. I've never been so happy in my life, and barring a few weird emotions about disclosure, the best thing I ever did.

PM me and we can chat.

[Milk8shake]

Oh, rcr.  I'm so sorry that you're in such a position.  It feels cruel that we have sacrifice so much of what we dreamed of on this journey.

I wish I could just give you a big ol' hug.  

[rcr]

Thanks Milk. You are so sweet.  Have you seem my post today on the IVF thread? One of our embies looks like it is making it after all! We get to transfer tomorrow (if all goes well)

eta - oh, wait, you are fast asleep in Australia right now... of course you did not see my post. Hopefully we will be on our way to our transfer by the time you wake up

Edited by rcr - 4/3/12 at 8:24am

[Milk8shake]

LOL - yes!  I was fast asleep!  But that is great news to wake up too!  Good luck at the transfer you have probably already been to by now!  

[BeeBird]

Yes, I used donor eggs to conceive my beautiful son!

I had huge worries about how I would feel about not having a genetic link. I am adopted, so I worried about it perhaps more than most people. I longed for that genetic link.

Now that he has been here for a year and a half, I can say I still think about it every once in a while, and I still wonder about the donor and how much of her is in him, but it is a rare thought! It's so very much less of an issue than his daily, glorious, amazing, wonderful, existence!!!!!! And our wonderful, loving relationship.

I would be happy to talk to you privately if you want.
 

[tvillegas]

Yes! I did, twice. Both successful,we have 3 children- two pregnancies(one singleton, and one twins) with 2 different egg donors,and Same fathers sperm. Soooo happy once we made the decision. You've decided?

I asked myself the same questions, and came to know what worked best for us, and I'd be happy to share more. I highly recommend using egg donors. We used anonymous donors, tho now I am wishing that we had left it open for future contact for our children's sake.

We wrote a new children's book that helps parents talk to their children about their donor conceived birth. You can view our website/blog here: http://howwebecameafamily.com/

Contact me anytime, maybe I can help.

warm regards, Teresa

[rcr]

Thanks for all the replies.

We went ahead and did donor embryos, and I am now (FINALLY) pregnant! We used the in-house donor embryos program from my RE, where the embryos are leftover from IVF cycles. I am so grateful that this option exists. I still worry a little about it, but my excitement and joy of finally being pregnant far outweighs any worry.  The embyos were donated anonymously. I wish it could have been different - that the baby could know the genetic parents and sibling (I know there is at least one), but this was not an option if I wanted to do donor embryos at my clinic. We really know nothing about the donors.

[tvillegas]

Congratulations!

I'm sooo excited for you!!! And I'm so happy to hear that you were able to use donor embryo!!! 

FYI, We had 4 viable embryos left over after all our IVF experiences. Because we love science we really debated about weather to donate them to research or to other couples. It was two years we kept them frozen while we thought about it. Then eventually, while discussing this topic again, while sitting and holding our babies, it didn't take long for us to conclude that perhaps we could give other families an opportunity for the joy that we have, so we donated them. We chose to stay "anonymous" but are regretting that decision now, as we wonder about them often. And for the sake of our children and the choice for them to find out later in life if they have siblings, should they choose.... however, I think that they will be able to find out through websites like https://www.donorsiblingregistry.com/ no matter if the donors are anonymous (as long as both parties register) as people change their minds.

Just know that its such a joy for me (and my husband, I know he would agree) to hear about someone who was able to conceive using embryo donor! I'm sure that the people who donated your embryo would be joyful too! They could be just like us, and one day(or many years) in the future be searching to find their childs(ren's) siblings... 

We look forward to publishing a version of our children's book for parents who used embryo donor to build their family in the near future. The manuscript is written, and we will print them when the requests and finances come in...

Congratulations mama, love yourself for making the right decision for you and your family! 

Teresa

http://howwebecameafamily.com/