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~~Infertility ONE thread, April 2012~~ - Page 7

post #121 of 203

Sourire- It depends on which game night- some are really light games like card games or easy word games, while others are more serious. We might play Eclipse, Battlestar Galactice or something like that. I'm glad my tip was helpful to you.

post #122 of 203

Chica- I somehow missed your question. It is actually a potting shed in the backyard that we are converting.

post #123 of 203


privateeyes.gif Where is everyone?....


post #124 of 203

I'm here! Both happy and sad to likely be starting my first post-partum cycle.

post #125 of 203
I'm here too. Just not much to post about & everyones been so quiet I've been lazy with comments.

Happy weekend, I'll try & check in with more detail tomorrow. Hubs & I are watching The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Not bad so far but I heae it gets terrible :-/
post #126 of 203

Ok good, I'm glad you guys are here. Not too much going on here either. I just got back from an engagement party. I'm now feeling so disappointed in myself. There was someone there that has a child younger than DS, was pregnant the last time I saw her in Oct., then miscarried, and now is pregnant again enough to be very obviously showing. Seriously? I mean, happy for her, but I hate how this is so easy for some people. You guys know what I mean. Finding out someone is pregnant that I didn't know was pregnant is a huge trigger for me and is unfortunately unpreventable. Share some pregnancies with the rest of us why don't ya? I didn't drink at the party but now I'm seriously considering doing so*vent over*


deborah - I hope AF comes and goes as nicely as she can...


Cait - Oooh Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is by far my favorite movie of the year thus far. Loved it.


Other than that I think I barely managed to sleep more than a couple hours last night due to a pounding headache and hot flashes every few hours. I did a 10k race this morning. I knew I would be slower than my time in the same race last year because I'm not training anywhere close to as hard. All because of IF. I told myself I was just going to have fun. Even so I still feel disappointed. I just keep holding on hope that maybe I'll get pregnant and none of this will matter...

post #127 of 203

Sila- Hey I am here too! I havn't said too much on this thread, seems quiet. YES, gosh that is such a huge trigger for me. Is finding out about new pregnancies.It seems like some women go to the ends of the earth searching for that one baby! For one baby. Yet, the women standing next to her will think about getting pregnant and it could happen for her.


Actually, I used to think that I would be that women! When I was 27 and officially started to try to get pregnant, in one month I got pregnant right away. Now, I am still baby-less!


I wonder all the time if I would have just done things differently if I could have kept that first little life growing inside of me. How different my life would be now.I miss that life, miss it so so much.......................




post #128 of 203

Hey guys, sorry I have been a bit MIA, have been avoiding the boards for a bit, because I am trying to not drive myself nuts. This is the update: This cycle I had my first round of Femara, besides being an emotional wreck and a hot flash here and there, it was fine. I also had my HSG done, which initially my Dr. said was all clear, but a few weeks ago he said he may have found a small shadow on my left tube, and apparently it was not as dilated as the right one, he said it is probably nothing, but he had to mention something. I had a cd12 scan, and found 1 big nice follie and two little guys. He had me trigger on day 15, 10,000 units of HCG.


On 11dpo I tested first thing in the am and got  what appeared to be a shadow of something. My DH and best friend could not see anything, but I swear something was there. On 12dpo (14days past trigger), at 8pm, I took another FRER, and low and behold a beautiful light pink line appeared. BFP!  DH and I were absolutely over the moon. This was our first positive ever. Oh my goodness Christmas baby, what a blessing. We could not believe our eyes, but it was really there. We cried that night in bed so thankful to finally be receiving such a blessing. I always thought that even if it was faint a line = pregnant. That next morning 13dpo (15past trigger) I took another test and it was exactly the same as the night before. I called the RE, he told me to come in for a beta. While I was there he gave me some crinone samples to supp with progesterone until ultrasound to confirm heart beat, ect.


A few hours later he called me to say that my HCG was at a 9 and my progesterone was at a 6.7= not a viable pregnancy. He said he was unsure if it was left over from trigger or if this was a very early miscarriage. I am really struggling with what to call this or how to process this. I highly doubt that the trigger shot would still be in my system after 2 weeks. Also there was a clear difference between a barely there nothing test on 11dpo and pink positive on 12dpo, and 13dpo.


So, I have not taken any more tests, RE wants me to call him tomorrow if I still have not had my period as he is worried about a possible ectopic. I had a little bit of watery brown spotting yesterday and today, temps still high, I just want AF to get here so I can move on. Does this sound like a chemical to you guys? RE does not want to call it anything at this point. As crazy as this sounds I wish I could confirm that we did fertilize an egg, and that something happened, instead of just left over trigger. I need to have some hope that we are heading in the right direction, and making progress or something.


Oh, and I just found out yesterday that my sister is 9weeks pregnant. I am one of the last people to know as she did not want me to feel bad. Frankly I think the fact that she waited just makes it worse. It was her first month off birth control. Can we say debbie downer party of one. So I have pretty much been a hot mess the last couple of days. I feel like I am loosing my marbles, and that I am being oversensitive about it and should focus on moving on, even if my heart feels like it is torn in two. Thanks for letting me vent. I promise I will catch up later today.

post #129 of 203

Mexilady, sorry to hear of your situation.  It sounds like you did at least fertilize an egg!  I pray that whatever is best for your body and you will happen.  Praying that it will happen in a timely fashion as well.

post #130 of 203

deportivo - I totally get it. I so badly miss a child that has not yet even been conceived. I miss something that in reality doesn't exist. My heart and mind have made it so real and I'm so attached. I noticed you were posting a lot more on the IVF thread. Were you doing IUI this cycle or going straight to IVF? 


Mexilady - Hugs. That sucks. I agree it does sound like a chemical pregnancy/very early loss. However, having done the hcg trigger you may never know. I do know there are a few women around here have had the experience of their bodies hanging on the trigger for a long time. It does seem pretty late for that though. Praying your body knows what's best and you can move forward soon.


Lilac - Hi. Anything exciting going on?


I'm really imagining I've got at least 1 or 2 nice follicles growing in there. So much so I swear I can feel them. Like if I hope hard enough it will come true. <--- Hasn't always worked in the past. I went back to remind myself of the last good news we got - DH's test results. So I've been holding on to that for now.

post #131 of 203

Sila- I have to wait till May to do anything. IUI is what I will start with, honestly I want to do IVF but the cost is going to be huge and daunting. May, I will start IUI.

post #132 of 203

Mexilady- That sounds like what happened to me with my chemical pregnancy. Don't feell like your overreacting, I was heartbroken when that happened to me. I just thought that I was finally pregnant again after two yrs.. It sounds like you are on the right track. So, sorry that happened. PS. my SIL is now at the end of her second trimester. I am struggling a lot with this because I got pregnant twice before she was even pregnant once. Now I am past my third failed pregnancy and I can't stand the thought of not having a successful pregnancy before she gives birth. If I can just catch that egg, implant, and have it stick.


This is the reason I am over the moon can't wait to do IUI, to eliminate ALL OF THE GUESS work for me!!!! Gosh I don't want to even test for myself anymore. I just want someone else to do everything for me.


Thats my rant! sorry lol!



post #133 of 203

I'm here too.


Sourire - thanks for stalking me on the IVF thread, and rooting for me! I don't have any siblings for donate eggs. I wish I did. Although my problem with donor eggs is not really looks as much as it is personality. DS does so many things that are exactly like what DH and I do. I am afraid that a donor egg child will be out of place and like a stranger in our family. I don't want a child to feel like they don't fit in. That story about celene dione is crazy!


Mexilady - Sorry. Hugs.hug2.gif


Sila / Toothfairy - did you see the Swedish version of girl with a drago tattoo or the American version? I can't decide which one I liked better.


AFM - DH and I BD'd thurs and fri. I think I o'd on Friday. I was only halfway trying - Did a few OPKs, and saw a faint line on Thursday evening, but the OPKs are all expired, and it looked like an evap line. Thursday was the first time we had sex in forever - like in months! It was actually fun. Friday was less fun - more like we were forced to BD because of TTC. Anyway, maybe I'll get lucky and be one of those people who fails at multiple fertility treatments and gets pregnant naturally afterward. It happens all the time, right? I have three doctor appointments with three different REs on Tuesday to get a second, third, and forth opinion about donor eggs.


Hope - when you get to it, could you change my blurb? So glad things seem to be looking great for you so far!

post #134 of 203

Sila, as for exciting things in my TTC - well Friday, Saturday, and today I saw ferning patterns with the microscope.  Yesterday, I swished my mouth with saliva a bit more before I took a sample in the morning and found nothing, so I didn't do that today.  Still no temp rise.  Counting down the days to DH urologist appointment on Friday.

post #135 of 203

So, I am excited and nervous about going to see a new family doctor today.If she is not really a fit than I can't go back to the store and exchange her! I am stuck with her. It took me 4yrs to finally get the last one that didn't reallly work out. So, I have to explain the plan that previous doctor had to refer me to high risk pregnancy obstetrician. Other things I wanted to discuss with her is obviously my iron and other concerns for pregnancy. I don't know how she is going to be, kind of nervous.

post #136 of 203
Thread Starter 

 tf2b - yeah that you should be able to time everything right next ovulation!!  I'm surprised that the best chances aren't for 6 months out.  I wonder why?


Sourire -  Oh I LOVE gardening!  Yep, I'm a good old freak of nature.  I do flowers and veggies, and I can my veggies.  I'm glad that you got all your questions answered at your pre-op appointment! 


Sila - I'm sorry.  Seems as though unknown pregnancy is such a huge trigger for so many.  It sucks to find out by just seeing them.


mexi - Big hugs, I'm so sorry that you've had a rough time.  Sounds like fertilization to me!  Believe what you need to believe - it'll help you keep pushing forward. 


rcr - oh crap, I'm sorry I forgot about updating your blurb!!  I will tonight at home, I promise!!  (I'll try at work as soon as I'm done with this post, just in case it'll work!!)  I'll keep my fingers crossed that you WILL be one of those that gets it done naturally!!

post #137 of 203
deborah - I haven't heard of any of those games. I usually play strategy board games. My current favorite is Smallworld. Good luck with your first cycle.

Sila - the headache and hot flashes sound like Clomid side effects. When is your monitoring appointment again?

mexilady - every time I've taken the HCG trigger it was out of my system after 10 days (8 DPO). I think that if you were past that time and your tests were getting darker, you were definitely pregnant. That beta result must have been devastating to you after you finally managed to get a BFP. You have every right to feel upset about this, and your sisters news sounds like such bad timing for you!

I remember you saying you doctor was giving you the HCG for luteal phase support. However when I've read about doctors doing this, they usually give a 2nd injection around 7dpo. I think for people who have serious LP issues, the first trigger doesn't last long enough to fix the problem. I know that for me I need both the HCG and Crinone. Even with all that I still start spotting early. I am wondering if the HCG may have boosted your progesterone long enough for the embryo to implant, but then it may have dropped down soon after causing a chemical pregnancy (honestly I hate the term chemical pregnancy because it makes it seem so insignificant when it is really a very real and painful experience). That would explain why your progesterone level wasn't that high.

Rcr - that is so wonderful that you still have hope of getting pregnant naturally. DH and I usually don't make much effort to BD in unmedicated cycles.I'm wishing for a miracle for you!

Lilac - yay for ferning!

deportivo - good luck with your new doctor!
post #138 of 203

Hello everyone!


Chica: Congratulations! I wish you a very happy and healthy 9 months. I hope you get in to see your MW soon – waiting until May is just too long! joy.gif


Hope: I am so excited for you – such wonderful news!


Milk: I’m not sure if you’re checking in here at all anymore, but I hope you are doing well. I will continue to think of you and wish you well. Maybe we’ll meet up another board someday.hug2.gif


Deborah: You’re right about the emotional part of the recovery process. I have been more emotional these past few weeks than I have been in the past few years! I cry at the drop of a hat, and 99% of the time I have no idea why. I love the photos of your studio. I’m a writer, too and also have a nice to studio to work in – or at least I will when our move is complete. I’ve always rented a studio or space in a writer’s space. It really helps me to get out of my home to do my work.


Toothfairy: The soft food and variety of pads tips were from you! I should have noted that. Are you still feeling “things”? I am and I’m beginning to become concerned. How did your follow up go? Did you post about it and I missed it somehow? I hope AF stayed away.


Sila: I’m going to post more about the lap and what happened after my follow up this week. However, I had some complications, which were unusual in my AFM.



Sourie!: Today is the day! I am thinking of you and wishing you SO MUCH LUCK! I doubt you’ll get to read this beforehand, since you have to be in so early, but you can bet that someone all the way in another country is thinking of you and wish you the best: response, results, findings and recovery. I didn’t want to write too much about my anesthesia response, before your procedure, because frankly, my experience hasn’t been all that great. Everyone assures me that I am not the norm, but I didn’t want to give you any reason to be nervous about your own lap. I’ll write more about myself soon. It is crazy though how we all get different directives from our doctor’s about what is ok to do and when. You, me and Toothfairy have all been told very different things! It’s almost funny in a way. Anyway – I can’t wait to hear how you’re doing.


Mexi: I am sorry to read about your situation. I don’t think it sounds crazy to want to know that your egg was fertilized. I hope AF comes soon and that this was just the first of many BFP’s for you – that all have much happier endings. Also, I think it’s important to let those feelings, like the ones you’re having about your sister, and thusly yourself, out. You are not being oversensitive. While it would be difficult to share them with everyone, at least you are free to let them all out. You’ll move on when you’re ready and not a minute before – you don’t have to focus on it, it’ll happen when you’re ready.


RCR: Tomorrow is going to be epic! Good luck – I hope all three doctors agree on everything and that you feel good about what you learn.


Deport: Good luck with your new doctor today. I hope you like her.


AFM: I wound up having a severe allergic reaction to the balloon they left in my uterus. It got pretty bad and even though I had it removed last Tuesday (almost a week ago) I am still not feeling well and have evidence of the reaction all over my body. Also, I am just not recovering the same way most people do from the general anesthesia I was put under. The doctor and her team think I also must have had an allergy to something that was used, but of course, it is impossible to tell what that may have been. It’s hard, because I have never, ever had an allergy ever. Not plants, pollen, or any kind of drug or food. While I know I won’t be exposed to whatever it is that is causing this regularly, I hate thinking there is something out there that can effect me so deeply, yet I have no idea of what it might be. Obviously now I would tell people I am allergic to latex.


My spotting stopped about 3 days after the balloon came out and I have been having lots and lots of CM. My belly is still tender and I am not feeling well in general. I sleep a lot and continue to be so thankful that I don’t have to work outside of the home. I’ve searched and searched and can’t seem to find anyone else whose had such a difficult time recovering from these simple procedures! I wanted this to be so easy. I have my follow up this Wednesday, where I’ll find everything out – and I’ll report back afterward. My spirits are high, despite the discomfort and other problems. I’m excited for this part to be over so we can move on and begin to TTC. I am actually looking forward to testing and the agony of the TTW again.

post #139 of 203

Charley - Actually my lap is on Thursday. Thanks for wishing me luck!


I guess everyone deals with information differently. Some people would be more nervous by hearing about the worst case scenarios, but I am the opposite. I like to have ALL the info in advance. The reason for this is that I can deal with anything if I've been warned about in advance, but if something happens that I wasn't expecting I am very likely to have a panic attack/nervous breakdown because I wasn't mentally prepared for it. Another reason I prefer to get the info beforehand is that what my imagination can come up with as a worst case scenario is usually much, much worse than reality and I am a lot more nervous about stuff that is unknown than stuff that is known!


My doctor went through all the risks of the operation with me beforehand (risk of puncturing an organ, risk of infection, risk of having to have an ovary or a tube removed, risk of them switching to a laparotomy if they find something unexpected, etc.) and honestly it made me feel BETTER to have her be so open and honest with the information, and I've now have time to mentally prepare myself for any of these things happening and it doesn't make me nervous. However when I asked her to give me the same type of info about anesthesia, she told me that I would have to wait for the day of the operation to talk to the anesthesiologist about the risks. Having the anesthesiologist give me all the worst case scenarios just a few hours before the operation is going to be rough, it doesn't give me very much time to wrap my head around the risks! As a result of all this, I'm pretty relaxed about the operation itself but I'm really freaked out about the anesthesia because I just don't have much info about it and my imagination is running wild. Maybe I'll try to do some googling on the subject.


All that to say... if you feel up to talking about your experience with the anesthesia in the next couple of days you would be doing a me a huge favour!


Sorry to hear about your allergic reaction... take care of yourself!



post #140 of 203



Aw man! I thought it was today. Anyhow, You can still count on my good thoughts on Thursday.


I'm totally fine to talk about what's going on with me. I too like all information possible. Like I said before, I have been told again and again that my reactions are not the norm. With that being said, here's what's going on with me.


I am just not fully recovering. I had a severe allergic reaction to the balloon they put in my uterus. The balloon was there because my polyp was so large, that they wanted it to heal over without developing scar tissue. From now on I am to tell people that I have a latex allergy. Before the lap I had not been allergic to anything - anything at all. So the cocktail of meds that they gave me is likely the culprit of how I am feeling now. The doctor who removed my balloon (she isn't my regular RE) said that I am obviously allergic to something that was in the cocktail, but there were so many meds, there is no way to tell what I'm having a reaction too. It is also worth mentioning that it's possible that my allergic reaction was caused by the meds, and the balloon had nothing to do with it - it just possible exaparated it. Once the balloon was out I began taking benedryl, so that has helped to clear up my symptoms - which may have been caused by many things. Make sense?


So anyway, the day of the surgery, it took me a very long time to wake up. Almost 3 hours. After I woke, I had no sense of where I was or who was with me. My husband was in the recovery room with me and I didn't recognize him. I kept asking him to go find my husband. It was so comical that he recorded me on video. I kept saying things like "While you are very nice, and very handsome, I'd like you to go find my real husband please. I'm sure he is looking for me right now. You'll know him as soon as you see him, because he will be the most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on." And when he would hold my hand or rub my back, I would say things like "This is very nice and I'm thankful for your attention. But you should know, while my husband will be grateful for the comfort you're trying to provide, you will need to leave when he gets here. He'll take over as soon as he arrives." I was polite to a fault, which is exactly how I am if I've had to much to drink. I begin to talk very formally. I have no idea why. He showed me pictures of our dogs and would ask me if I knew who they were. I would say yes and tell him their names. Then I would drill him as to why he would have photos of our dogs. He also showed me pictures of us and would say, who is that? pointing to himself and I would answer that it was my husband. Then he would say "who am I?" and point to himself and I would say, "I don't know, but it sure is creepy that you have so many pictures of my family on your phone." Finally, I recognized him. I said, "Oh my God, I am so thankful you're here now!" and he said, "I've been here this whole time." and I didn't believe him at first.


I was also very unclear about the nurses that were they to help me. It's like I was suspicious of them. I questioned everything they did and I guess at times I was quite abrupt with them. I did not like waking up with the monitor on my finger or the tube in my nose. I kept removing them and saying "DO NOT WANT" loudly. I guess I was a difficult patient. I have no memory of my doctor coming in to explain how the surgery went.


The more I came too, the worse I felt. I was made to drink ginger ale and eat ghram crackers, which I threw up. In fact, I threw up a lot the more I came too.


After about 5 hours, we were able to leave. As we walked to the car, I began to cry. I'm not sure why, but I had one of those loud, heaving cries. When we got in the car I promptly fell asleep. We had to drive to the pharmacy, so we could pick up my pain meds - I had to go inside to show my ID because we were getting a narcotic. I barley remember being in the grocery store. They said it would take about 20 minutes to fill my perscription and my husband had to take me back out to the car so I could sleep. For some reason, after that we went to mac donalds. I should say now, that the last time I ate at a McDonalds was years ago. My husband says I asked to go - but I'm not sure I believe him - ha ha. I guess I ordered a small milkshake and a small fires. Which I promptly threw up as soon as we walked into our house. Take that sneaky McDonalds wanting husband! I then laid down and slept until Saturday.


Saturday is when my allergic reaction symptoms began to present. I moved from the bed to the sofa but didn't begin to feel any better.


Here's where it gets tricky, I guess. I was feeling horrible, and I just assumed it was from the general. I felt slow and sluggish and I just thought it was from the surgery in general. The thing is, I am now 10 days past the operation and I still feel the same way. The balloon has been out since last Tuesday and since then I have still been vomiting, don't feel entirely safe driving my car and I still feel a little bit as if I am in a fog. I am just not myself. I would say I am like 60% okay - but I'm not sure what's wrong. I asked the doctor who removed the balloon about it and she said that some people just have a hard time letting go of the general, and that I sound like one of those people - which would make sense considering how my mother reacts to going under.


One thing the anesthesiologist asked me again and again was if anyone in my family had a memorable reaction to general anesthesia. I told him that my mother has problems with it, She gets very cold afterward, for up to two weeks, She can't seem to get warm at all. Also, she just doesn't feel well after for a long time. She also has bad dreams for about a week after. Her reaction is so severe that she even chooses to have dental work done with no medication. So maybe check with your parents or siblings to see if they've ever had any problems.


I'm just not me yet. I have been vomiting and have a mild case of diarreah. My incisions seem to be healing well, but my whole stomach itches. My skin, especially on my face is super dry and flaky. I'm not sure if these things are caused by my surgery, the balloon, the general or what. I'm not sure if I'm having a genetic reaction, acting like my mother does, or if there is a deeper problem. I plan on speaking to my RE about it on Wednesday when I have my follow up.


What I do know about being under for me is that: I had a hard time waking up. I was talking and thinking, but couldn't recognize my own husband, although I knew my dogs. I needed a lot of sleep. I could not have been alone or taken care of myself for the first few days after. My husband took Monday off, but I wish he had Tuesday off as well. There is no way I could be functional at a workplace. I either have pain in my abdomen or need to sleep. I vomited a lot. I cried a lot for no reason. I was/am dizzy. I don't feel well in general, but it's nothing I can put my finger on. This kind of reaction can be considered normal for people who have trouble going under - I guess since it was the longest I've been under, I had no idea of what to expect. When I had my failed polyp removal last fall, I was only under for like 15 minutes before they made a mistake and had to end the surgery right away. - and even then I had trouble knowing what was going on, but I didn't need all of this sleep. I was awake then, and appeared to be functioning, but was still too out of it to understand what people were saying to me.


Please ask any questions that you want and I'll answer them honestly and openly. I'm afraid I don't know much really, but this is how it's been for me. I hope you have a much better experience!


xo, Charley

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