another potty trainng question

[Snapdragon]

ds is 24 months and still very much in diapers. I am not sure if I am doing enough to potty train him at this point. I am very laid back about it and wondering if I could be doing more.  We have two potties- one in the bathroom on each floor. But my question/ issue is- he is still in diapers (cloth fitteds with thirsties velcro covers), plus then pants over it usually. It seems like quite a lot of work to expect him to tell me when he needs to go, go to the toilet, take off his pants and diaper, eliminate in the potty. I know lots of people go for lots of naked time but I am not too keen on having him pee all over the house. He does get naked time each day but mostly just to air out and have some non restricted time.

I don't usually have him outside naked.

I did get some "training underwear"- but they are basically underwear with a thicker part on it, and I rarely put them on him yet.

Should I be being more assertive with teaching him how to take off his diaper when he needs to eliminate? Right now he knows the words poop and pee, and he can tell us often if he needs to go. He is always interested in dh and I peeing etcetera. He occasionally sits on his potty (with clothes on). If I try to get him to sit on it unclothed he just gets up. I guess that means he is not ready? I guess I can try to encourage sitting on the toilet naked more? any tips? I know he usually poops in the morning, and I usually know if he has to go- and I can say, ds do you want to sit on the potty? and he says- no. Even if he is naked and I know he has to poop, I offer the potty and he says no and then he wants a diaper because he is used to it. Any tips on how to proceed- or do I just keep being laid back about it and let him initiate it?

[germin8]

I had to reward my daughter with a tiny treat that she never gets other times for every time she sat on the potty. She never liked the potty before that. She cried and hated it... then I waited a month or 2 and tried again. The treat really helped.

As for the peeing... how about wearing long socks to soak up the pee and overalls w/ the bottoms unbuttoned? Wear under wear (several layers) or training pants.

For 3 days .... don't go anywhere. Sit him on the toilet every hour for about 10 minutes (I only did it for 2 minutes). Make it fun, read a story, play something. I put a teddy bear of hers to potty next to her. She liked that. Make sure he drinks lots of fluids during the day. So... take him to the potty every hour. And, also watch when he is squatting, it is almost certain he will pee/poo.

After 3 days... he should get the idea... take a towel with you and extra clothes when you are out. Go to the bathroom often. Take the potty with you in the car. We have stopped on the side of the road to have her pee/poo in her potty and soak it up with a diaper. It may take about 2 weeks to really get it... my DH is 21 months and was potty trained at 20 months. She still misses a pee... but rarely ... it is usually b/c she is distracted having fun. She still wears a diaper at night and nap time.

Yes, she says "no" even though I know she needs to go... but sometimes she doesn't. When she says "no" and it's been a while... I wait about 30+ seconds and then take her to potty.

[Peony]

We just go bare butt around the house during potty training because if I put anything on their butt, they treat it like a diaper and pee in it until they develop more control. I've tried the diaper on taking it off during certain times, and it hasn't worked for my kids. I'm sure it does for some but the no pants thing always has worked. I'm rather low key about potty training, and 24 months is still young. I like them out of diapers by 2.5 but I also have a DS who is turning 3 this month and has been taking the VERY scenic byway to be potty trained. Several kids ago this probably would of freaked me out but now I'm just going with it. 

[Snapdragon]

thanks everyone.I guess on some level I am not sure if I have the energy right now to really go all out with it. I have to admit diapering is easier and my energy is pretty stretched full already. Before I had kids I babysat sometimes and I remember feeling judgemnetal about a 2 yr old girl who wasn't potty trained-! I thuoght- I will potty train my children early. But I thin he is just not quite ready yet. I think the advice to really focus on it for a few days is good advice- but I think for now my instinct is saying just to keep it easy on al of us and keep introducing it gently and not rush it. I am also a little nervous about the whole new level of responsibility that comes with having to take him to public toilets when we are out and that sort of thing. I do always change him right away  so he never sits in poop! I think I will just keep with the laid back approach for now. I offerred the potty this morning when he was naked but he wanted nothing to do with it. I am glad to hear 24 months is still pretty young for it. thanks

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Snapdragon 

thanks everyone.I guess on some level I am not sure if I have the energy right now to really go all out with it. I have to admit diapering is easier and my energy is pretty stretched full already. Before I had kids I babysat sometimes and I remember feeling judgemnetal about a 2 yr old girl who wasn't potty trained-! I thuoght- I will potty train my children early. But I thin he is just not quite ready yet. I think the advice to really focus on it for a few days is good advice- but I think for now my instinct is saying just to keep it easy on al of us and keep introducing it gently and not rush it. I am also a little nervous about the whole new level of responsibility that comes with having to take him to public toilets when we are out and that sort of thing. I do always change him right away  so he never sits in poop! I think I will just keep with the laid back approach for now. I offerred the potty this morning when he was naked but he wanted nothing to do with it. I am glad to hear 24 months is still pretty young for it. thanks

If you don't have the energy, then just don't worry about it. At all. 2 is very young for it, IME. My 3yo trained the day after his 3rd birthday for good (after us doing lots of work on it intermittently before then), he decided he was a big boy, and big boys didn't wear diapers. We had very few accidents too (3 or 4 total since then). We stopped and started for 4-5 months before he finally trained, a few times because his dad didn't follow through with potty training at his house, once because we moved, then we moved again - it was just too much and I was getting frustrated. Then the day after he turned 3, that was it. No more diapers. His daycare teachers were shocked he wanted to wear underwear (and they helped me make a super big deal out of it being such a big boy thing), even though he had been dry for a long time at daycare he never wanted to wear underwear.

Something I did that helped, was to take him to the potty every morning, and have him sit on the potty before bed every night. He didn't always go, and that was OK, but it helped him get used to the idea.

I think if you feel good about being laid back, then thats what you should do. Potty training is very individual, but when kids are ready they start using the potty. When they are ready for the potty, they aren't going to keep using diapers.

[SunRise]

Anytime I asked my 23/24 mth old (at the time) if she wants to sit on the potty she says objects, "Nooooo". I stopped asking her because I didnt want to make a bigger deal about using the toilet; I realized / feared this will always be her response. She had been "taught" to pee in a diaper and this is what she is comfortable with. She has no interest in wearing cute under wear either. So I stopped asking. Then a few weeks later I decided to just plop her on the toilet ... she objected for a nano-second and then was ok, she sat there for a while singing and talking while I brushed my teeth and did other things. Then I helped her down ((she is sitting on an elmo seat that sits on the toilet)). There were a few times she did refuse to sit on toilet and I let it go, again trying not to dramatize anything

My other thoughts are: she is too little to get her own trousers down, or take her own diaper off, so assistance will be needed for awhile, so this is very casual training...more like altering her attitude from using diapers to using toilet.   We are working on pooping in the toilet as this is much more obvious to me and we can get it every time -  she tells me and scuffles and tries to hold it in. I help her up on to the toilet seat and she has gone each time (4 times).  For a reward - ha - a piece of toilet paper to wipe and flushing the toilet.  I do need to get a different kind of toilet that sits on the ground, one that she can use herself. I think that will improve her outlook. (The one I bought, she doesnt like)

Phase II will happen when she seems more keen to use the toilet on her own and when I have the energy to spend a weekend with her diaperless.

Edited by SunRise - 4/4/12 at 1:19pm

[pokeyAC]

I deleted a previous post because it contained a referral to Focus on the Family.  This organization advocates physical punishment of children which we do not support here at Mothering.  That referral is inappropriate in this community.

[JudiAU]

I think a lot of people who potty learning at that age switch to underpants/training pants fairly early. I like the imse vimse ones because they have a built in PUL cover. Much easier to take on and off. I really like "Diaper Free Before 3" . Usually at that age the parent is helpful the child and directing a certain extent. We start at 18m and end at 2 and switched to training pants after about three weeks.

 

[~Adorkable~]

im reading the Oh Crap Potty Training book and it has been a real eye opener for us, we are not ready to do this yet, our twins are just 20m but i was already starting to do a few things that she says will make it harder later, and i think she is pretty right on with her stuff, she explains things and it rings true, i would encourage anyone to download and read this book

[sunnygir1]

Don't worry about it!  Who cares?  If you do, then try some things.  If you don't, just let it go.  My ds is about to turn 3 and has basically potty trained himself in the last few weeks.  We talked about it and encouraged it when we felt like it, but didn't every have much of a concerted effort, never pushed or forced, never bribed.  He does have an older sister to watch, emulate, but even with just parents around a child will learn to do what the parents do.  If you want it to be easier in terms of clothing, you could just snap on a diaper (with or without a cover) and put on legwarmers if it's too cold.

But really, don't feel pressured, by the time he's 4 no one will know or care when he started using the toilet.

[sk8boarder15]

If you want a really easy next step, I would just put him on the potty whenever you go. Set times. If you don't go for a long time just take him over and give him a chance. I would say maybe every 2 hours MAX. If he says NO then don't bother if he's up for it just put him on a few times a day and say "Can you pee in the potty?" or something to that extent. And that's it. You can get him dressed and go on with your day. No pressure. 

I do think that the number 1 thing you can do is naked time though, but you can certainly learn the potty with out I think it will just take a little longer. You could always confine the naked time to one room. We used to just gate off the carpeted areas. Now my son is naked whenever we are at home because he will use the potty 100% of the time if he is naked, but will just poop in his pants if he's not. He hates having me take his clothes on and off... but that's us. Do what your comfortable with and what you son is comfortable with. He's only 24 months, still a baby really, he'll get it a little more each month. 

[Oliver'sMom]

Once my kids start fighting diaper changes, I begin to potty train them.  Potty training at our house consists of wearing underwear instead of diapers.  That's it :)  It took ds1 about 4 days to get it down when he was 22 months old, and ds2 took about 6 days at 23 months.  I think if your child has a desire to be clean, and is aware when he needs to eliminate, he's ready to ditch the diapers.  That's just my school of thought though.  There's more than one way to skin a cat :)
 

[SunRise]

Originally Posted by Oliver'sMom 

Once my kids start fighting diaper changes, I begin to potty train them.  Potty training at our house consists of wearing underwear instead of diapers.  That's it :)  It took ds1 about 4 days to get it down when he was 22 months old, and ds2 took about 6 days at 23 months.  I think if your child has a desire to be clean, and is aware when he needs to eliminate, he's ready to ditch the diapers.  That's just my school of thought though.  There's more than one way to skin a cat :)
 

It worked like that for my son. It was a gradual & quick progression.  But my daughter, who is now 2.5. She is content to lay on the changing table. She doesn't want to lose her diaper. She doesn't take pride in going diaperless and getting to wear underwear. . I feel bad that I sort of pushed it. I did stop buying diapers, again for the 2nd time. And she is quite successful all day long without wearing diapers and using the toilet. She doesn't boast to people of her new skill nor does she happily show off her cute undies to colleagues (like my son did :)). I'm happy to be done with diapers, but I feel sad that she is not proud of her accomplishments.

[Oliver'sMom]

Originally Posted by SunRise 

It worked like that for my son. It was a gradual & quick progression.  But my daughter, who is now 2.5. She is content to lay on the changing table. She doesn't want to lose her diaper. She doesn't take pride in going diaperless and getting to wear underwear. . I feel bad that I sort of pushed it. I did stop buying diapers, again for the 2nd time. And she is quite successful all day long without wearing diapers and using the toilet. She doesn't boast to people of her new skill nor does she happily show off her cute undies to colleagues (like my son did :)). I'm happy to be done with diapers, but I feel sad that she is not proud of her accomplishments.

Perhaps she is proud, but doesn't outwardly show it in a typical way?  Don't feel bad!  She must have been ready since she learned so quickly. 

[SunRise]

Originally Posted by Oliver'sMom 

Perhaps she is proud, but doesn't outwardly show it in a typical way?  Don't feel bad!  She must have been ready since she learned so quickly. 

Aw, thanks. :)