5 Yo broke the TV, WWYD?

[LaughingHyena]

Sunday evening DS (5) emptied his water bottle over the TV! Cue a fizz, bang and black some. We haven't plugged it in (waiting till it's completly dry before we try) but I can't imagine the TV is going ot work.

This was not an accidental spill, the water bottle, while not completly non spill does have to be help upside down for quite a while, probably even squeezed for as much water to come out as it did. He also must have been standing with it held over the TV from the way the water had run down the back. It's not a likley place to have spilled it. DS came throgh to DH and told him "the TV has stopped working all on it's own" when DH went to investigate he found the smoke and water! DD has said DS was pouring the water and DS broke into tears and ran to his room.

We have had a few chats about how dangerous mixing water and electricty can be, but I cant help but feel there should be some consiquence to this.

This is not the first time he's emptied his water bottle, however usually I require him to get a cloth and clean up the mess. I also make sure the next day or two he is only to have his drinks at the kitchen table where I can keep an eye on him. Ii also means DD has to follow the same rules, otherwise he'll just gran her water instead so I;ve never managed to keep it up for more than a couple of days.

I have again told him he has to have his drinks in the kitchen, but I still feel like there should be some other consiqunece. I do wonder if anything will make any difference for him or if it would just make me feel better!

[ilovemygirl]

Did you ask him why he would do something like this? Was he upset about something? Did he just want to see what would happen? At the very very least a serious talk explaining how wrong this was is definitely in order.

What kind of discipline do you normally use? I hope you are able to get to the bottom of this soon. I can't imagine how hard it must be not being able to trust a school aged child with a covered drink. 

Also, I don't see why your dd should have to follow the rules for your son's discipline. I don't know how old she is but it's very likely she will feel punished for something she didn't do. It might help your son to see that she gets a different privilege for being responsible. 

[Daffodil]

Of course a 5 year old couldn't have understood what effect water would have on the TV.  How big a consequence would you have given him if he had squeezed water onto the floor or the table?  It probably doesn't make sense to give a bigger consequence than that, since he couldn't have known that what he did was any worse than putting water on the floor.  If the TV does turn out to be destroyed, I think realizing that he caused that will be a big enough consequence.

[34me]

In our house we wouldn't have a TV.  It's not an item that we can just go out and purchase.  I would explain (again) about adding water to things and then let the natural consequence of not having a TV do it's thing.

Like when my 10 year old was playing with matches " don't we have a (name house hold item, any item)?"  "nope, lost it in the fire and didn't replace it..."

[Honey693]

My 3 year old knows water doesn't go anywhere, but the sink or your mouth (not that she always remembers that though) so I would be livid.  If we did get a new tv there would be no tv for her for quite some time b/c she can't be trusted to be near it.  I'd keep her out of the room it was in too, but our tv is in the basement when we have one, so it's easy to avoid.  

[mamazee]

Hmmm, either not replace the tv if the money weren't there, or make all water be consumed in the kitchen/dining room from now on.

[LaughingHyena]

Well we plugged the TV in last night after a few days of drying off and it works, phew.

We have had a few talks over the last few days about safety with regards to the TV, computer etc and also about being trusted with his water bottle. For now we are keeping drinks to the kitchen table.

To the  PP who wanted to know why this would affect my daughter as well, I usually keep thier water bottles within their reach so they can grab a sip whenever they need, though I prefer the bottles to stay in the kitchen or the garden. However I haven't found a way to give DD free access to hers without DS being able to get hold of it. Since he often does get hold of them and pour out the water I guess that is just not going to work at the moment and they will have to come and ask for drinks.

I am comming to realise that maybe for him this really isn;t that different to pouring water on the floor.

We did spend a bit of time with him talking about how much it would cost to replace the TV, and what other thing we would be able to do with that ammount  of money. He's quite intersted in numbers and money so hopfully that will have a bit of an inpact on him.

[Hippie Mama in MI]

He has done a destructive thing AND lied about it. If it was my kid, I'd lay some pretty steep consequences. Get him where he lives; if he likes to see his friends, ground him. If he loves his bike, take it away for a month. This has to stick in his memory very clearly for the rest of his life. You can correct destructive behavior at this age; when he's 13 it will be too late; he'll be smashing people's windows.

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI 

He has done a destructive thing AND lied about it. If it was my kid, I'd lay some pretty steep consequences. Get him where he lives; if he likes to see his friends, ground him. If he loves his bike, take it away for a month. This has to stick in his memory very clearly for the rest of his life. You can correct destructive behavior at this age; when he's 13 it will be too late; he'll be smashing people's windows.

Hippie Mama, I have a very different definition of Gentle Discipline. What you've described here is highly punitive. It's also likely to be ineffective because the punishment and the crime are not linked. 5 year olds sometimes act without thinking. Taking his bike away for a month doesn't cure that problem. Only giving him liquids when you can supervise him because he can't be trusted does.

Furthermore, it's likely to destroy a trusting relationship between mom and the child. There are consequences that other people on this thread that make the same point without such extreme measures. If you take away his bike for a month when he's 5, what are you going to ramp up to when he borrows your smartphone, drops it and breaks it when he's 13 (because that's the sort of thing that 13 year olds sometimes do without thinking)? As my kids get older, I can only say that keeping those lines of communication open are crucial.

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by Daffodil 

Of course a 5 year old couldn't have understood what effect water would have on the TV.  How big a consequence would you have given him if he had squeezed water onto the floor or the table?  It probably doesn't make sense to give a bigger consequence than that, since he couldn't have known that what he did was any worse than putting water on the floor.  If the TV does turn out to be destroyed, I think realizing that he caused that will be a big enough consequence.

I think a five year old would/should know enough to know that it was going to cause some problems.  At five, I don't know too many kids who would pour water out whenever they feel like it just to see the water pour out.  He obviously purposely held the water over the tv, and he tried to say it just quit by it'self.  So, he knew he'd done it with the water.

I do agree though, that not having a TV for a while will be a good consequence.  But, even if the tv is working, He wouldn't have any water bottles except for the car.  He's old enough for a regular cup, he can drink it in the kitchen, or not drink at all.  I wouldn't allow a five year old to have a water bottle of he was purposely pouring it out.  

BUT.. I would give him LOTS and lots of opportunities to experiment with water.  Not just the old fashioned cheesy water table.  I'd set up as many ways to play with water as I could think of.  Especially with the weather heating up, this is the perfect time to get some clear tubing, save some empty soda bottles and make a huge water wall, or some other outlet for his fascination with water.  

[LaughingHyena]

It's been a few weeks now since the incident, we are still keeping to drinks in the kitchen only, and making sure I clear up any leftovers as soon as they are finished. To me that is an extension of the babyproofing we did when they were little, just removing the situation in which the problem may occur. Yes I would have expected this phase to have passed by now but it seems these sort of measures are still needed.
 

 Especially with the weather heating up, this is the perfect time to get some clear tubing, save some empty soda bottles and make a huge water wall, or some other outlet for his fascination with water. 

Any ideas for cool water play would be great, I don't think the baby bath toys hold much interest anymore. The other issue is that we're in th UK and the weather is still quite cold for playing outside and he hates getting in the bath so I feel our options are limited. Clear tubing sounds fun, I might have to head to the pet shop, I;m also think he might get on well with the chore of watering our vegetable patch this year.

[One_Girl]

Would he be willing to be in the bathtub with toys for pouring if you let him know that he won't have to do the soap part, he can just pretend it is an indoor pool. My dd did a lot of water play in the bath when she was young and it helped her like showers. If he won't now maybe he will if your younger one does it first. I also found that she was able to get the urge to dump and stir out by giving her a bowl of flour and water with spoons and measuring cups while I cooked.