I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this or not, but here it goes. Gentle discipline is working very well for our little family even though it is really difficult for us (especially 'in the moment') because neither my husband nor I were brought up in any way that would be called gentle or positive.
However, we have run into a problem that I don't know how to address with my husband's grandpa. We are really close with both his grandparents and they visit frequently and twice now his grandpa has treated our two year old in ways that leave me feeling uncomfortable and angry.
Once he very sarcastically and condescendingly said, "Thank you," at her because she had failed to thank him for something. A few minutes later she thanked him for something and he failed to say "You're welcome," and I wanted to say it at him in the same tone of voice to prove a point, but I refrained.
Just the other day she was throwing a bit of a fit (she hadn't napped, we are working on a new sleep schedule) and she threw some corn at the table and he said, "Bad girl! Shame, shame, shame!" as if she were a dog!
Both times I had no idea how to respond. I hate confrontation, I never know what to say in the heat of the moment, especially when I don't want to hurt the relationship. He's also a very sensitive guy who holds a grudge like nobody's business. No matter how nicely I point out his behavior, it WILL cause him to become embarrassed, defensive and angry, even if he doesn't let it show. So I need to approach this as nicely as possible so that hopefully one day he will forgive me. I don't want to ruin our rapport with the only family we have close by, but I can't keep holding my tongue in these circumstances. I just don't know what to do.