My 2-year-old and I co-sleep with a crib side-carred to a single twin-sized bed, pushed against the wall. That way he is surrounded by crib bars, headboard, and wall on three sides. We get in and out at the foot of the bed, which he is perfectly capable of climbing in and out of when he is awake. He has never been a good sleeper in any way, but lately I feel like I spend my nights wrestling with him. After the hours it takes me to get him to sleep in the first place, he will usually sleep soundly for an hour or two. Then he semi-wakes and starts plowing into everything head first. At first I thought he was just looking for me, so I would say, "Here I am" and pull him close. Often he will nurse for a few minutes and then start plowing away again. Sometimes he runs head first into the crib bars and cries. Sometimes he burrows UNDER my pillow, and I have to sit up and move my pillow and re-arrange us both to fit into bed (which often upsets him). Often he gets himself turned around so he is sliding himself had-first towards the open end of the bed, so I have to pull him back to keep him from falling out. Lately, he has been exploring the crack between the bed and the wall, wedging his arms and legs in and trying to bury his face, so I have had to try to keep him away from there as well. He is mostly asleep when he does this and is just trying to get comfortable so he can go back to sleep, but when I interfere by trying to put him in a safe position or moving him slightly so there is room for me, he kicks and screams and cries and yells, "No, mommy!" followed by "Milk!" so I nurse him for a few minutes and then he starts again. This happens several times/night and lately has been lasting for up to 1.5 hours at a time (of him nursing, trying to settle, me moving him, crying, and nursing all over again) and I am trying to figure out the best course of action. I feel our current sleeping arrangements are unsafe for him and I am considering getting a toddler bed but 1) I haven't seen one that looks like it would contain him, and 2) at this point he refuses to sleep without me. If he wakes up and I am not there, my husband (his father) is unable to calm him down. In fact, he has cried to the point of vomiting simply because his father tried to comfort him instead of me. He kicks and screams and punches and says, "No daddy! Mommy!" It hurts DH's feelings.
On a related note, I am hoping to nightwean him soon in hopes that it will make him less selective of his choice of nighttime caregiver. Truthfully, I would like to TTC#2, but I know that I cannot bedshare with both of them. He would trample a newborn baby for sure with his active sleep habits. So I would like to nightwean him and then move him out of my bed, either into his own toddler bed, or in with his father. But if I move him into his father's bed (assuming that he will allow the change), we will need extensive bed rails for that bed too. Unfortunately his father has ruled out sleeping on a mattress on the floor.
Any suggestions about what I should do about sleeping arrangements? Does nightweaning seem an appropriate first step? Is this amount of activity normal for a 2-year-old, or is it a sign of a sleep disorder?