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Potty Training what I have learned

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 

I started PT my DS at 17MO now at 19MO I'm having major success!  A few things I've learned and hopefully can help you too.

 

1.  Going poo or pee is NOT a reward!  How would you like a sticker everytime you went to the bathroom?  It teaches LO's that PT is a game rather then a NATURAL function of life.  Which leads to regression once the stickers and praise stops.  "If mommy doesn't care anymore why should I." 

 

2.  Approach PTing as matter of fact.  Introduce your LO to the potty sit him/her down.  Explain that is where you go pee/poo.  Don't force 10 mins to beyond sitting.  I've done it and it doesn't teach them anything.  I know the theory is the wait for that "perfect accident."  Good luck waiting for it!!"  :)  

 

3. The infamous "wait till their ready."  It's not when they are ready but when you are.   Read through all the EC'ng threads you will quickly discover it doesn't exist.  From this board I was told to give up that my DS is too young.  I'm happy that I didn't listen to those naysayers and persisted!  Don't ask your dr, friend, family do it when you feel you are ready to tackle it.  

 

4. It is messy and will be till you become consistent at their cues.  Invest in carpet cleaner and stock up on paper towels.  

 

5. Lots and lots and lots of Naked time!!  Trust me I know how daunting the idea is to run after your LO, hope and pray they don't have accidents on the floor.  But they will and it's vital to help you understand their cues.  Once you pick up on when they will go it's SOOO much easier to put them on the potty.  Many here ask when will I know a few things: start writing down meal times, nap time and accidents.  That will give you a general idea.  Pay attention to facial expressions my DS has a faraway look.  Also their behavior they hide when they are going.  

 

6.  Clear your bathroom floor of rugs, objects or any possible distraction.  By accident I learned that my DS will go to the washroom on cue if he's in the bathroom by himself.  Put your LO in the washroom and close the door behind them and let them know you are sitting outside the door.  It would surprise you how willing they are to go.  Associating the potty is not hard ask them to sit on their potty and pee/poo. 

 

7.  Have lots of patience!  After an accident happens say "Accidents happen but you go pee/poo in the potty."   

post #2 of 14

Thanks for the tips.  I potty trained DS with some similar methods and it went surprisingly easy.  I've got another on the way though so I'm already thinking ahead!  I especially agree with number 5.

post #3 of 14

Totally agree with number 3. I potty trained my first using a 3 day method although he got it in the first 6 hours.  He was 20 months old but that was when I had a week off so we just went for it.  Before we started he had no intrest in the potty or potty training, refused to sit on the potty, was still nursing, wasn't having well formed bowl movements because he was still nursing to much and wasn't waking up dry. 

post #4 of 14

I totally agree!
My DS was 18 months when he was fully potty trained.I started when he was around 14 months- everyone around was telling me that it's impossible because they are not ready until they are 2- I think it's crazy to wait that long! if the 2 year old can talk and do many thinks than they can use the potty.

post #5 of 14

I understand what you're saying but some kids just aren't ready at that age.  My son (turning 3 in a month) has been completely disinterested in potty training since age 2, when we first started to broach the topic with him.  In fact, at age 3 he is just as resistant even though both DH and I are ready (TRUST ME, we are so ready to be done with diapers!!!) and have been for a long time.  

 

As for #2, we used a reward system for my daughter and it worked beautifully.  Yes, it's a natural function of the body, which we explain regardless, but I found the stickers helped a lot.  She was so proud of herself and the sticker was icing on the cake.  She never regressed afterwards, she was the one who indicated she didn't need the stickers anymore.  Rewards are a part of life even as adults, so I don't personally see it as a bad thing.  

 

Oh, and a question for tip #5 for anyone who can give advice.  My DS can't stand to be naked.  He's OK in the tub or in the shower with one of us but if having to be naked from his room to the bathroom for a bath, he freaks out.  He just likes to be clothed all the time.  So, I'm interested in trying the whole naked time this summer when it's warm enough for us to use it, but I can't see that going over too well with him. Thoughts?

 

I think that each child is different and while it's great that those rules worked for you & your LO's, it won't necessarily work for everyone.  I am happy for you (a little jealous even!) though!

 

 

 

post #6 of 14
Yeah, #3 is totally dependent on their personality. This is not my first time potty training, I have potty trained in a day before with one kid. Another one was 2-3 days though she had accidents for a while, the one day child never had one. Boy was I smug! And then the universe decided to show me just how challenging potty training can be when you have a kid that does not care at all. One year later and he is not even half way potty trained. Name it and I've tried it for weeks or months even. He turns 3 this month and now there is nothing left to do but wait until he decides he actually wants to.
post #7 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by abouttobe5 View Post

I understand what you're saying but some kids just aren't ready at that age.  My son (turning 3 in a month) has been completely disinterested in potty training since age 2, when we first started to broach the topic with him.  In fact, at age 3 he is just as resistant even though both DH and I are ready (TRUST ME, we are so ready to be done with diapers!!!) and have been for a long time.  

 

As for #2, we used a reward system for my daughter and it worked beautifully.  Yes, it's a natural function of the body, which we explain regardless, but I found the stickers helped a lot.  She was so proud of herself and the sticker was icing on the cake.  She never regressed afterwards, she was the one who indicated she didn't need the stickers anymore.  Rewards are a part of life even as adults, so I don't personally see it as a bad thing.  

 

Oh, and a question for tip #5 for anyone who can give advice.  My DS can't stand to be naked.  He's OK in the tub or in the shower with one of us but if having to be naked from his room to the bathroom for a bath, he freaks out.  He just likes to be clothed all the time.  So, I'm interested in trying the whole naked time this summer when it's warm enough for us to use it, but I can't see that going over too well with him. Thoughts?

 

I think that each child is different and while it's great that those rules worked for you & your LO's, it won't necessarily work for everyone.  I am happy for you (a little jealous even!) though!

 

 

 


I agree. I've had 2 easy pottying kids, but both different. Dare say nothing I did, more working with them
post #8 of 14

While I do agree that children are far more capable of controlling their elimination than we give them credit for (there's too much EC success to ignore!), every kid is going to be different.  I think if you don't EC from the beginning then there's a window (like around 18 months) when they can make the connection and develop good sphincter control, but before they've really developed much counter will.  That's what I think makes PT so hard with a 2/3 year old and why the general advice is to wait until they're "ready," because they have so much counter will in their nature that if you try to push them towards it before it's their idea, they'll naturally resist.  Then you have to resort to reward systems and things like that to make it enticing.  But if you can catch them in that window where they have the comprehension abilities to figure out what you want them to do, but before they really set into the "no" state of being, then you can PT long before conventional wisdom says you can.

 

That being said, my 16 month old had several weeks where he would pee every time I set him on the potty, and now vehemently resists it.  I stopped trying to physically put him on the potty because I don't want it to be a negative thing.  He knows what the potty is, he knows the cue sound, he can hold his bladder for about an hour at a time, but we're just waiting for him to initiate actually going on the potty.  

post #9 of 14

My babies are long before potty training, but on the nakedness issue, can he handle wearing a t-shirt, but not pants? That would get the quick pottying and awareness without having to be all the way naked.

 

If not that, I would probably try split-crotch pants (you can just unpick the seam on a pair of regular pants) with no diaper underneath.

post #10 of 14

Thanks for the suggestion on the split crotch pants.  He's not comfortable with any degree of nakedness.  LOL, it's actually kind of cute.  He just wants to hide his bum and turns away from people or backs into a corner.  And by people, I mean my husband, myself, and his older sister (5 years old).  We have no idea where it's coming from and just try to encourage whatever his sense of comfort is .  Once it gets warmer up here in Canada, we'll see how he feels about PTing outdoors in the hopes that he's more comfortable this summer.  :)
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rinap View Post

My babies are long before potty training, but on the nakedness issue, can he handle wearing a t-shirt, but not pants? That would get the quick pottying and awareness without having to be all the way naked.

 

If not that, I would probably try split-crotch pants (you can just unpick the seam on a pair of regular pants) with no diaper underneath.



 

post #11 of 14
Thread Starter 

I understand what you're saying but some kids just aren't ready at that age.

 

Abouttobe5---The fact being that we teach babies to poo/pee in diapers says alot just think about that. 

 

About naked time it's a bit difficult since my 19MO son is half naked at home all day.  The reason why I do it is for convenience for me and him.  He's not

at the point where he can pull down his pants and go.  It's easier that he is naked so he can go by himself when he wants to.  In a 3YO personally I wouldn't I just don't see

the point.  He's old enough to tell you that he has to/is going why should he be naked? 

 

  

post #12 of 14

I waited until my older son was ready, and it happened at 39 months. We did the cold-turkey approach, tried a couple of weekends, and then backed off, and it finally worked well at 39 months and was pretty much a non-event. He first became aware of the potty around 20 months when his playmate was potty trained and using it (she was a year older). But, I had never introduced him to the potty before that, never had him sit there, etc. When I did show him the potty (around 20 months), he wanted nothing to do with it -- it was scary, different, etc.

 

With my younger son, we have been doing EC since about 6 weeks (we taught each other, we did not initiate, he did). Since then, he has been on the potty daily (sometimes several times a day), so the potty is nothing strange to him. We read books while on the potty, and really take advantage of the time. He now goes (poop) about 98 percent of the time after dinner every day. He is totally comfortable with sitting on the potty. Now, we have not been working much on pee, and that is our next step, which, like you said, just needs US to be ready (and our care provider).

 

So, all this is to say, I think that if you are going to start potty learning early, you have to start REALLY (like before 18 months) early, just to get them familiar with it so that it is not new and scary, particularly for boys. Maybe they sit on the potty every day and read a book, maybe eventually something will come out, maybe it won't, but by the time they are ready to start learning, they won't be scared about sitting on the potty.

post #13 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by porcelina View Post

I waited until my older son was ready, and it happened at 39 months. We did the cold-turkey approach, tried a couple of weekends, and then backed off, and it finally worked well at 39 months and was pretty much a non-event. He first became aware of the potty around 20 months when his playmate was potty trained and using it (she was a year older). But, I had never introduced him to the potty before that, never had him sit there, etc. When I did show him the potty (around 20 months), he wanted nothing to do with it -- it was scary, different, etc.

 

With my younger son, we have been doing EC since about 6 weeks (we taught each other, we did not initiate, he did). Since then, he has been on the potty daily (sometimes several times a day), so the potty is nothing strange to him. We read books while on the potty, and really take advantage of the time. He now goes (poop) about 98 percent of the time after dinner every day. He is totally comfortable with sitting on the potty. Now, we have not been working much on pee, and that is our next step, which, like you said, just needs US to be ready (and our care provider).

 

So, all this is to say, I think that if you are going to start potty learning early, you have to start REALLY (like before 18 months) early, just to get them familiar with it so that it is not new and scary, particularly for boys. Maybe they sit on the potty every day and read a book, maybe eventually something will come out, maybe it won't, but by the time they are ready to start learning, they won't be scared about sitting on the potty.



yeahthat.gif ITA. DS also trained at 39 months. It also happened quickly, when he actually trained. It was a madhouse of attempted potty training moments from 24 months - 39 months. At 18 months (the window previously mentioned) my DS had less than 5 words. We also communicated really poorly in general and I was a new, clueless mom. There was no chance of him training at that age.

 

DD also uses EC and she is now 14.5 months and rarely misses anymore. But she's been telling me when she has to potty since she was a tiny infant, so it's just worlds apart. Of course, so is pottying with a girl. Maybe I'm biased (being female), but girl pottying seems a lot easier. With those little potty seats that fit on the toilet, she's been able to sit up there on her own since she started walking at 10 months. 44 month DS STILL is too short for some of the potties we have to use out and about and ends up with drips on his clothes or underwear! 

post #14 of 14

Lulu, I LOVE your post!! I learned about EC during my pregnancy and we started practicing it once my son was about 6 weeks old and I was beginning to pick up on his cues. It's amazing - within two weeks I was no longer in any doubt that we were truly communicating on this issue, and that this tiny infant possessed a degree of bladder/sphincter control that would shock most people. He was rarely in diapers by one year, day-trained by 15 months for sure, and night-trained himself by 18 mos at which point we ditched diapers altogether.

 

I think your first point about rewards and praise is super important. I had to constantly be on alert for extended family who was around my son at these young ages and tended to heap on the praise for him simply peeing in the potty. I never wanted him to think that a.) going pee/poo in a certain place made him a 'good' boy b.) that he was doing it for ME (or anyone else but himself). Because I knew the day would come (and whoo-ee at age three we are so there) when he would do the opposite of what I desired just to get a rise. Fortunately he has never known a different way of pottying so it has never been an issue.

 

As for your #4, I wish I'd thought of that much earlier because we didn't get our first steam cleaner until we were past the potty-training/accidents stage. I really don't know why we waited so long...those things are really handy.

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