Hi! Long time lurker now registered. Not even sure if this is the right area but I REALLY need some opinions about this. Long and difficult to explain but I'm trying. (English isn't my first language.)
I have a little over a year old DD. Yesterday I had a visit from a long time friend who had his brother with him. (They were going elsewhere and briefly stopped by.) DD adores my friend and has spent lots of time with him, but seen my friend's brother only a few times. I know the brother adores kids so when he asked if he could hold DD for a minute I said yes. BUT.... As soon as he picked DD up, I got this really bad vibe. I don't know what it was, I can't explain it but it wasn't jealousy or fear or anything like that. It was just a reaction of "this is a person I DO NOT want near my child." I've always been intuitive so I have trouble thinking it's just mommy over-reacting. DD seemed fine and he really didn't hold her that long but.... It was afwul. One minute everything is great and next minute I want to scream "Put my child down, NOW!"
Okay, here is what I am trying to ask. It's possible I will be spending time with both of them this summer. HOW do I tell my friend i don't want his brother near my child, especially not holding my child? Especially when I can't explain it. I'm thinking "You know, I'm just getting really bad vibe" will not do... I trust my friend 100% but not his brother. Do I even say anything? Would I just politely decline if the brother wants to hold DD again? WWYD???
Yes, I now I sound crazy. I want to believe I made that feeling up but I can't. Uuuuurgh, none of this even makes sense and I feel like a bad friend just even thinking about this. The brother is not a bad person, is not trying to hurt my child.... But something is making me upset.