Thanks Lilac, God/nature/cosmos works in wonderful ways I'm pretty sure your cousin's son will grow up as a strong wonderful man whose love will heal his mama's wounds.
- topicTrying To Conceivetagged by System, 4/5/12
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No Fooling - April is the Month for Bajingo Juice! TTC #1 in our 30's - April 2012 - Page 3post #41 of 714/23/12 at 9:20ampost #42 of 714/25/12 at 2:55pmpost #43 of 714/25/12 at 8:28pmQuote:
So sorry to hear about your loss. I think Mother's Day can be a cruel holiday for moms who have lost their children. I've seen it happen around me so much and I can't help but think that you never stop being a mom. Hope you have a lovely day regardless.Quote:Originally Posted by TeamViddy
DH and I were supposed to visit his family in Europe in May and we decided not to because there was a possibility that I would be very pregnant. This makes me sad in a way I can't describe. Most of the time when I want to emote I have a lot of trouble doing it. The past few days I have really, really wanted to have a good hard cry but for some reason it just won't come out. Maybe I should get really hungry, tired, drink a bunch of wine, make sure I'm not mad about DH for any reason (because I want to cry and not fight ;), curl up in bed and try to let the waterworks flow.
I feel for you. It's such an emotional roller coaster. I can go from sad to numb to apathetic in the span of an hour. Hope you get the release/relief you need.Quote:
I may need to go check that out. It seems like a simple way to eliminate at least one of the variables in the TTC equation. Thanks for the heads up!post #44 of 714/26/12 at 3:11amThread Starter
yeah, Shell, I have seen the sperm tests, but looking under the microscope is cheaper since I borrowed the microscope and from videos I have seen on youtube I should see something at 100x and a lot of something at 400x. Figure I will wait and see what the urologist says.
AFM, this EWCM madness continues - 10 days of it. Last night my breasts felt tender, so I figured this morning my temp would jump. Nope, lower yet. After DH's urology appointment this Friday, I think I am going to call up the Natural Procreation doctor who is 2 hours away and see if we can get in (if the urologist gives us any hope that sperm may be manufactured by my husband to get me pregnant). The financial side of getting pregnant is so annoying and disheartening for me and then age of my DH and me plays into it too. We don't have money to do the "search and rescue" mission (aka testicular sperm extraction) on DH and there is no strong evidence supporting that working consistently anyway. To spend a lot of money and not get a take home baby would be crazy.
Bring on the BFP's!post #45 of 714/26/12 at 1:46pm
Total shock here. Decided to poas this morning since I'm 15 dpo and my temp jumped up to 98.6 this morning. (Keep in mind I tested Sunday morning and got a BFN.) I was totally expecting another BFN... in fact, I tested, left the bathroom, fed the dogs, came back in to shower and WOW, two gorgeous pink lines. Immediately called DH to come home, we freaked out together, then I called my Fertility Clinic. The nurse told me to come on in today and get blood work started for early monitoring. This is our first cycle after the laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to clear out the polyps and endometriosis. The nurse said something like, "It looks like all you needed was a good cleaning out!" It's really happening.
I'm staying positive and keeping my chin up... even though we lost the last pregnancy early, I don't want to constantly be afraid of losing this one. The mind is a dangerous place. I have to guard it diligently or even the most joyful, hope-filled celebrations can turn into fear and discouragement.
So we are celebrating tonight!!! I'll keep everyone posted...post #46 of 714/26/12 at 1:53pm
PITCH!!!! I am SOOO stoked for you!! i haven't been frequenting this thread but just happened to see your post in the timeline and i'm sooooo excited!!! our situations are kind of similar... early loss then a whole lot of nothing and then a lap and hysteroscopy... i am now going into my second cycle post lap/hysteroscopy (turned out we did not have great timing last cycle) and you just gave me the biggest shot of hope i've had in a while!!!
Congrats!!!!!!!post #47 of 714/26/12 at 2:04pmpost #48 of 714/26/12 at 2:28pmpost #49 of 714/26/12 at 4:12pmpost #50 of 714/26/12 at 5:10pm
YAY Pitch! I know it seems so unreal. I had a GREAT experience with all the early monitoring at my fertility clinic, they were always super prompt about calling about betas and super positive about things looking good. I wish you the same and huge congrats to you. I know it's so hard not to stress but tell yourself that the worry will not change the outcome anyway.
post #51 of 714/26/12 at 5:28pmpost #52 of 714/26/12 at 5:53pmpost #53 of 714/26/12 at 9:36pmpost #54 of 714/26/12 at 10:13pmpost #55 of 714/26/12 at 11:19pmpost #56 of 714/27/12 at 4:55ampost #57 of 714/27/12 at 6:16ampost #58 of 714/27/12 at 7:22ampost #59 of 714/27/12 at 8:40ampost #60 of 714/27/12 at 11:40amThread Starter
Yeah, Pitch! This is so exciting! It gives me faith that pregnancies do happen! I will be praying that this little one sticks around to be held in your arms!
AFM, DH's visit the the urologist today wasn't particularly heartening. Basically the doctor said there were no sperm in the first assay (which we already knew, duh) and that if there weren't any in the next assay my DH will have in 3 weeks, that it is likely that there never will be (thanks for the vote of confidence). DH is getting his FSH, LH, prolactin, and testosterone levels checked as well a week before his May 25th appointment per doctors orders.
The doctor really gave my DH's balls a good squeezing. It looked uncomfortable from my view point but DH seemed to be okay with it. Afterwards DH said his balls felt tender. Yeah, you think.
I was crying over the loss of hope of ever being pregnant with my husband's baby. He really doesn't like the idea of getting a testicular sperm extraction done to see if there are sperm.
We talked about donor sperm and adoption. I would like to try donor sperm because I would like the experience of being pregnant and having a baby. We are going to wait and see what the sperm assay in May says and what DH's hormone levels say. I am also going to call the NaPro doctor to see if I can get a handle on what appears to be my lack of ovulation in a timely manner so if we do go the donor sperm direction, my body would be ready to get pregnant and stay pregnant.
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