So about two months ago DD, then 16 months started going to a friends "daycare" two days a week. I put "daycare" in quotations because she's not registered and doesn't follow a curriculum or anything, she's a sahm of a 3.5 yr old boy and happens to take on all the neighborhood kids in a very loose, day by day way. You always see her walking in the park, going to play groups, heading to the pool with a bunch of kids in toe, but you never know necessarily which ones she'll have and at what times.
I chose to send DD here after doing tons of interviews with strangers that have home daycares, and considering the more institutional types that just don't fit our lifestyle. I really wanted her in a warm, home environment with somebody that I know and trust -and this woman is great. Having said that, it was never necessary in the past to pay a lot of attention to her parenting style, and I'm starting to see some negative effects of DD spending time with her 3.5 yr old son.
Although DD LOVES her son, and only sees him a total of 7 hrs a week, she's been picking up on his rude behavior. He has a very hard time sharing, which I know is normal, but does a lot of slapping, swatting at, and yelling really loudly "no!" at her whenever she comes by to see what he's doing. When he's in the right mood, he'll chase her around the house or play ball with her which she loves, but the rest of the time (95%) he's constantly telling her pretty much to get away from him in a mean way. The mother has a pretty ineffective way of dealing with this, she'll turn to him and say, "don't be mean to her" and then turn back to her conversation with you, but there's no real discipline, consequences or application of his behavior.
So now DD is doing the exact same thing to DH and I. She'll constantly cry out "no!" and swat at you. In general she's just kind of gotten a little surly and has this attitude that I don't enjoy. I haven't seen her to do this to any other kid yet, but I'm wondering if it's just a matter of time. Is she learning to be mean to others or is this a normal phase of growing up and mimicking others? How should I be dealing with this in an 18 month old? Should I consider removing her or just ride it out, hoping that after several months of explaining, "we don't do that, even if others do" that eventually it will sink in?
She absolutely adores this family and the other kids that attend, so I would hate to stop her from going, but I just want to make sure it's not doing damage to be around another kid that has such little patience for her. I dunno, what do you guys think?