April 2012 Rockstar Mamas and Their Babies (better late than never) - Page 2

[AnnieA]

Yeah I think I need to start by cutting out the diet coke. In the mornings, I only usually get about 1 cup of coffee in me, sometimes not even that. I think it's the diet coke that's making me feel so bad. I really want to do a juice/raw food cleanse but I don't think that's a good idea to do when I'm still pumping. I'm always struggling to stay awake so that won't be anything new!

I'm having issues w/my DH right now too. I just don't understand why simple directions are apparently so freaking hard to follow. We got in to a small argument Friday night. I went out to finish easter basket shopping and asked DH to get the middle three kids in bed early because we had a big day planned on Saturday. When I got home at 10 PM, they were all in the living room (including DH) watching Enchanted. WTH?!? I was just beyond tired and frustrated at that point. Ugh. DHs sometimes...

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

I really want to do a juice/raw food cleanse but I don't think that's a good idea to do when I'm still pumping.

I've been wanting to do a cleanse for years but I've always either been TTC or nursing. It's definitely not a good idea to do while nursing or pumping because it releases the toxins into your bloodstream to, hopefully, be flushed out. All that stuff would definitely get into your breastmilk.

Following directions and taking care of the kids...ugh! Sean is supposed to take the boys upstairs around 9 pm to get them ready for bed. He's then supposed to get them settled and into bed before I go up with Dylan so I don't have to fight with Dylan to sleep while they are still up and making noise. He hasn't done it since we've been back from NH. I have to remind every night what time it is. I give him an hour before going up and the TV is on and the boys are bouncing off the walls upstairs. Then I have to be the bad guy and turn off the TV and tell everyone to go to bed.

It's like Sean has no backbone. He stands in the middle of the room and tells the boys the same thing over and over while they completely ignore him and then he just walks away. Later, he'll wonder why they never do what he asks. I think he expects me to tell the boys to listen to their father. Not going to happen. If he can't do it, too freakin' bad. Most of the time I don't agree with whatever orders he's giving, anyway.

[akind1]

ugh, before I type a long post, I will do a test. our browsers are being stupid lately and not letting me submit content.

[akind1]

hooray! it worked!

ok: MW: It's very hard to have a good marriage without respect - I think that is a HUGE issue with my MIL and FIL and why they will never really be together (they currently share a home, but that really is as far as it goes - it's been that way for years) - she doesn't respect him, thinks he's stupid, etc. And he's not. He doesn't think, he's not a planner, and has a super short attention span. He also doesn't have a good bullsh*t detector (always forwarding crap on the internet that is of dubious truth - I beleive some of the conspiracy theory stuff has some truth to it, but not all of it, as an example). I think it would really help to focus on the good things - I mean, you can't change the man, after all,  and I think it will help the things that aren't so great either seem like funny quirks, or something else that is no big deal.

I agree about alot of things in marriage not being equal. I think I'm smarter (book wise) than my DH, and I think he'd agree.  But he's way more tech savvy than I am, or care to learn to be. (I say that because I am sure I could learn and be that way, I just don't want to LOL) - but learning to accept each other is a HUGE deal.

LOL about the cat!

Carrie: hope something can help Nora, how miserable! and when is Chris home again? all this travel sucks.  Nora looked like she loved her bike!

Annie: could you use some extra b12? that might help your energy more, and with less effect on Ava. I NEED my caffeine.

Haven't heard from JJ in a while, hope she's ok

AFU: Being without Gabe was sooo hard. I missed him, and didn't realize how much until we got him back Sunday. Funny thing, this first time away made DH realize that it wasn't so bad, and we could maybe do things like that more often. I feel like I don't ever want him to go away again! at least no time soon. He had fun though, and we survived. If I hadn't had Norah, there is no way I could have managed.

so, Saturday we went to this Eco-baby basics event at a locally owned shop that has organic clothes, CD, etc (I already do and know about all the stuff talked about, but went to support friends who were speaking, and to be a BW'ing model) and I won a Phil and Teds Expolorer stroller. thing retails for $500. woot! I think I am going to clean up and sell our double sit and stand, we really never use it, and I can get a doubles kit for this thing, or the scooter to attach with it, for around $100. (Retail, we will see if I can find a deal) I also had a hormone migraine and puked twice. Thank God mom keeps phenergan in the house.

[Baby_Cakes]

I'm always telling DH to stand up for himself, and not be a pushover if I'm being a nag or being too bossy.  He doesn't think for himself.  I feel a lot of similar frustration that you do.  But I'm constantly telling DH he needs to have an opinion and not give in to me all the time.

If I have an idea and he disagrees with it, he won't voice that concern, he'll silently go along with it and then angry later that I didn't "ask him what he wanted to do".  Burns me up!!  If you think i'm wrong, say so!  

It also bothers me that we have been together for 12+ years and he still doesn't know/care what bothers me or how to comfort me.  I always end up comforting him when we argue.  I could be crying or mad or angry or whatever, and he still acts like an uncomfortable teenager, unsure of himself.  I have told him all this.  I don't feel like it ever gets thru.

Sigh.

Relationships are hard.

We just got P90X and DH seems like he's really excited about it.  I want to do it too, but I have no idea when I'll find the time.  He's gone 2 days out of this week, and next week he's gone Sun- Fri again.  With sleep being as poor as it is lately, I doubt I'll want to work out while Finn naps, I'll prob nap with him.

Omg Finn was so congested last night/this morning.  I think teething related, but idk, maybe a cold?  Either way, at 4 he was obviously not able to breathe.  I flipped on the humidifier and it helped a little, but he really could not get comfortable.  He was somewhat alseep tho, so I didn't want to completely wake him up by getting up and sucking his nose.  I let him sleep on my chest on a bit of an incline.  He did much better that way.  Still woke up at 7 tho.  More coffee please!

Oh - re caffeine.  I just read a study that says that the amount of coffee you drink had no impact on infant sleep.  I do think babies can be sensitive to caffeine, personally, but I don't think it interferes with how deeply or soundly they sleep.  I think if anything, Lauri, cut back the soda.  I find when I go from coffee in the morning, to soda in the afternoon, I do feel like crap.  And I drink diet.  Maybe it's the artificial sweeteners?  Maybe not tho, b/c if I drink crystal light type iced tea, I don't feel the same bad effects.

I joke with DH that my day revolves around coffee in the am, soda in the afternoon, and wine at night to relax.  Repeat.  

We got some great photos yesterday of the kids.  Can't wait to get them up.  Nora is doing wonderfully on her two wheeler (took off like a pro the first ride!) and Finn was such a cutie!  Lots of pics to go thru so going to get started.  BBL!

[MarineWife]

Kat ~ Wow, what luck winning that stroller! I've never seen one IRL or used one but I know they are popular. They sure are expensive, at least.

Since you brought up organic baby clothes, do you know where to get any online? I've been searching for some long-sleeved, long pant rompers/sleepers/PJs for Dylan because he kicks the covers off at night but can't find much of anything larger than 6 months.

Annie ~ Could you switch from soda to tea so you'd still get some caffeine but without all the soda chemicals? If you make your own and want 0 calories, you can sweeten it with Stevia (Truvia is the best tasting brand I've found so far).

Carrie ~ My dh does a lot of what your dh does. But, be careful wishing that he'll stand up to you. Sean used to always go along with whatever I wanted until he came back from the Marine Corps Officer Candidate School. Then I became the only person he would stand up to. It really pisses me off. It makes me feel even less important because he'll go along with others just to make them happy/not rock the boat but he'll either argue with or ignore me.

I was thinking more about why these little things bother me so much. I think a large part of it is it's family/home stuff that he seems to be dumb about. That's the most important thing in life to me, knowing the people you love. He can't be bothered, though. He can't take the time to notice or remember what we like or dislike, what is ours, that sort of thing. He's accommodating to complete strangers that he'll never see again at the expense of us.

An example of that happened last night. When we went to bed I told Sean to make sure he closed the downstairs windows. I have to tell him every night or else he won't do it even though common sense would say to close them for safety reasons just like he doesn't think to lock the doors (Doesn't he care enough about his family to do everything he can to keep us safe? Apparently not). Someone could easily climb in through those windows and kill us all. It was warm upstairs, though, so I said that I was wondering whether or not to open the upstairs windows. It was too warm at that time for me to sleep but it has been getting cold at night even with the windows closed and I didn't want to get woken up in the middle of the night freezing. Of course, I don't get a straight answer from him because he doesn't know how to solve a problem and make a decision. I finally went and opened a few of the upstairs windows. He went downstairs to clean the kitchen, close the windows and lock the doors. I came down this morning to find half the windows still open. When asked if he had closed them last night, he said, "Oh, I thought you wanted them open because you were warm." Um, hello, idiot! I ALWAYS close the downstairs windows. I would never leave them open just like I would never leave the doors unlocked. If you knew me, you'd know that. Even if you don't know me, it's pretty freakin' stupid to leave the house wide open for anyone to enter, especially since I recently had my GPS stolen from my car (that he left unlocked because he never locks anything and laughs at me for locking things during the day).

But, yeah, Kat, like I said before, there's really no point in having it out with him. We've been around and around about this sort of thing and he never gets it. I need to work on accepting him the way he is or accepting that our marriage will not last. He's not going to change. My problem is that I take that as him not caring enough to make an effort. All of that is a trigger for me because it makes me feel the same way my mother made me feel. She never could be bothered to pay attention to me, to really get to know me, to care about my likes and dislikes. She was too busy with her own social life and I never felt like she loved me. It's pretty horrible when a child feels like she isn't even worthy of her own mother's love. Anyway, I spent a lot of years in our early marriage working on accepting his "quirks". It became so much work. I don't think it should be so much work just to be able to stand being around the person you are married to, ya know?

[akind1]

MW: this site looks awesome, not the cheapest stuff, but I've found that alot of the organic cotton stuff lasts and holds up better, so maybe worth it. http://www.urthchild.com/clothes---shoes-rompers.html

I am not big on arguing and confrontation. The older I get, the less I feel it's worth it. My DH Is the opposite, locks the car at times and places I think it's silly (like when we are at a family gathering out in the country, sitting outside in full view of the car) It's hard work, marriage, I think. Is part of the problem the fact he's been gone so much the last few years? is any of it likely to improve with him being home permamently?

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by akind1 

Is part of the problem the fact he's been gone so much the last few years? is any of it likely to improve with him being home permamently?

I used to think maybe but not really anymore. He has always been like this to a certain extent but he used to at least make an effort. Now he just does whatever without really thinking. After 13 years of going around and around about the same things, if he hasn't gotten it yet, he's not going to. He's not making any effort to know us any better.

Another example, yesterday as we were leaving I was in the house searching all over for my phone that I had put next to the door. After several minutes I asked if anyone had seen it. At that point Sean said he had it in his pocket. He was around me at the car and in the garage and didn't mention that he picked up my phone? Why wouldn't you say something about that? "Hey, I got your phone." He thought I forgot it even though I was clearly not ready to leave yet since my purse was still in the house. He just assumed, which he always does even though he's almost always wrong. I told him the safest assumption he could make was to not assume. I've been telling him that for years. Don't assume you know what's going on. Ask. It's not hard to ask.

What I need is an IRL girlfriend who I can call up to bitch about my dh who will just listen to me rant.

[AnnieA]

MW, you should check out Hanna Andersson pjs. They are super comfy, organic and great colors. They are pricey but they last a long time. www.hannaandersson.com

Husband and wife dynamics...yeah it's hard. I joke sometimes that it would be easier for my mom, sister and I to just live together because we've been together for so long that we do everything pretty much the same way. Our poor husbands bear the brunt of us getting frustrated and micromanaging them because they do things differently. For instance, the windows thing wouldn't have bothered me at all. But I tend to be the one that leaves cars and houses unlocked all the time. But it would frustrate me if we had had that specific conversation, he agreed and then did the opposite. Or completely misinterpreted it. 

DD is really missing her big brothers and sisters. They went to their mom's last night and they had been with us for 10 days. This morning, she kept pointing to their rooms and when I would take her in there, her face would fall and she would start looking around for them. I kept telling her that they had to go back to school and we'll see them soon. I think I'm going to try to take her to their school during lunch this week so she can see them.

Re: caffeine. Yeah I'm definitely cutting out the diet coke. I know the chemicals in it are super bad for me. I've never drank as much soda as I do now. I started when I started working the evening shifts. So no more diet coke. I also got coffee last night that is half-caff. I don't drink that much coffee anyways so I really think if she's having an issue, it's the soda. I need to do a better job of taking my thyroid med and also my prenatal vitamin. That will help with my energy level also.

I've been considering doing the 30-day shred video. Has anyone had any experience with that? I joined the July 2011 DDC on FB and a lot of the mamas on there have done or are doing the 30-day shred. The workout is only 20 mins at a time. I figure I can make it through that!

akind1, what a score on winning that stroller! I would be so excited!

[Baby_Cakes]

Nice win on the stroller, kat! I missed that before!  Sweet!!!

I did the 30 day shred.  Ok, no I didn't.  It's HARD.    I did it for like 3 days and then gave my dvd away to someone else.  It sounds so freaking easy, 20 min here and there, but man.  It's a grueling 20 min.  That said...I kind of wish I still had it.

I didn't care for Jillian Michaels on the dvd.  she is very uncomfortable in front of the camera and it made getting thru the workout hard.  Almost comical.  She is much better on The Biggest Loser and not talking directly at the tv camera.

Ugh, MW.  I so so so so hear you on needing the girlfriend IRL.  I think it would help me a lot too.  I need to laugh at and vent about certain behaviors of his, but I can't b/c I have no one to do that with.  I used to with D.  Then after she moved, I realized the venting was much too complain-y to translate to text messages or long phone calls.

I'm really optimistic about this new friend/mama I've met on my street.  Her DD is 16 mo and she is TTC another.  She doesn't seem overly crunchy, accidentally weaned her DD early on by getting too busy.  But she's RIGHT THERE down the block.  We meet for stroller walks and the other night hung out in my back yard.  

Reminds me, I need to call her.  She called me yesterday and I forgot to call back what with the holiday.

I think Finn has a cold.  He's congested.  Either that or teeth are really just about to cut.  He is very drippy and runny.

I had EWCM this morning, and now all day I've had menstrual type cramps that feel exactly like AF.  I keep checking.  It makes no sense and I'm so confused!!!  Ugh!  But proud I held out and didn't start hormonal BCP or get an IUD.  Now I know my body is just doing what it needs to.  I would like a break from the crazy pms hormones though!  I am acting like such a bitch to everyone!!  

[annie2186]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

I had EWCM this morning, and now all day I've had menstrual type cramps that feel exactly like AF.  I keep checking.  It makes no sense and I'm so confused!!!  Ugh!  But proud I held out and didn't start hormonal BCP or get an IUD.  Now I know my body is just doing what it needs to.  I would like a break from the crazy pms hormones though!  I am acting like such a bitch to everyone!!  

Once again, stalker girl jumping in! I really need to make some time to sit down and reply one of these days.

When I get EWCM and am ovulating I feel exactly like when AF is there. Does that happen to everyone? Once I started charting and knew I was ovulating I couldn't believe I EVER missed it. It sucked almost as much as AF.

Anyways - I need to take a shower real quick. I really do need to actually reply for real and stop being a stalker..........

[MarineWife]

Thanks for those links. I bookmarked them. They've got some things on sale so they aren't too pricey.

I haven't done either of those workouts. I did tell Sean a few days ago that I'd like to start doing my yoga DVD again. I also got my old magazines out with monthly workout to countdown to the summer. They worked for me before. I haven't actually done anything yet, though. I wouldn't do it while Dylan was napping. I'd want to do it while he was up and Sean was in charge of him. I think the reason I haven't started is because I know I won't have the time once Sean goes back to work. I know I'm not going to work out at 8 pm. I'll stick to walking around the block during the day when I get to it. I fantasize about the day when Ethan is old enough to babysit so I can go to the gym for a couple of hours every day like I used to.

[onetwoten]

I'm here, also stalking. lol. It's been a rough couple days on and off. We'll have a really good patch, and then she'll melt down, and then I'll melt down... I am not proud of my lack of patience lately. I think it's the lack of sleep. I am a person who -really- needs my sleep, and it's been several weeks since I've gotten more than 2 good hours at a time. -She- has slept longer stretches (not by much though...), but I'm always trying to catch up on stuff at the end of the night, so I don't get to bed until a few hours after her... but that time I've usually missed her long stretch. Anyways, so I'm tired, and cranky. I was doing alright just napping with her in the afternoon, and then she started boycotting it- and now is only sleeping about 45 minutes in the afternoon. So by the time I've finished nursing her, she's fully asleep, and I try to lay down beside her, she's already waking up. I did suck it up though today, and for her afternoon nap I nursed her for about 25 minutes, and then basically didn't move a muscle for 3 hours other than to nurse her again twice. She slept for almost three hours, and now is in a great mood. I'm hoping maybe it will remind her how nice it is to feel rested :) lol

I -love- 30 day shred, as well as her other videos. They're short enough that I was able to make time for them, and at the end of it, I really did feel like I'd gotten a good workout. After about a week I could already feel signfiicant changes in my body- I would reach for something, and feel muscles tighten that weren't there before. I miss it :( I can't seem to find the time to sit down and do a workout now. She's not happy alone for long enough during the day, and at night, it's too loud while she's sleeping. 

Kat-- SO GREAT about the stroller! Nice!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by jeninejessica 

I'm always trying to catch up on stuff at the end of the night, so I don't get to bed until a few hours after her... but that time I've usually missed her long stretch.

Stop trying to catch up on things. Just go to bed. The other stuff isn't really that important when compared to being a well-rested mother to your baby. Let it go.

[onetwoten]

Yes, but easier said than done when it's things like brushing my teeth, showering, eating, washing diapers, etc... lol. They need to be done sometime, and if I try to do them while she's awake she cries. I'm not talking sparkling floors... I'm talking being able to find the floors! LOL

[akind1]

JJ: I know you do this already, but maybe do it more? babywear! I just ordered a water ringsling for the pool; outside in the sprinkler, etc. (might have to come in the shower too!) You will get those things done while she's content - have you tried her on your back in the babyhawk? - and then you can sleep. You need to sleep!

Our house is a wreck. need to work on that.

I LOVED the p90x videos. Tony never gets old for me. I haven't tried many others, I know the FIRM videos I thought were ridiculous

I think I just O'd. ugh. Hormone headache, ewcm . . . just waiting for CM to dry up to confirm.

Norah must be going through a growth spurt or something, it took forever to nurse her down (I wanted to get back up and eat ice cream .. . . didn't happen) she nursed more through the night, and wouldn't take a paci, than I remember her doing in a long, long time. she woke at 6:30 to nurse again, and continued to nurse for over an hour. ugh. so late start to my day!

she is butt scooting (which looks like she's just sitting, but she moves her legs in such a way that she moves her self across the floor). A friend of mine's baby never crawled, she just butt scooted until she walked.

I love my IRL friends, crunchy or not, there are things they can relate to. Just couldn't do without them!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by jeninejessica 

Yes, but easier said than done when it's things like brushing my teeth, showering, eating, washing diapers, etc... lol. They need to be done sometime, and if I try to do them while she's awake she cries. I'm not talking sparkling floors... I'm talking being able to find the floors! LOL

Honestly, except for eating and brushing your teeth, the rest can wait. I showered maybe once a week before Sean got home. Your dh can wash the diapers and pick up. I seriously doubt your house gets messier than mine since Tenley is the only child you have so I'm sure you can see the floors. Not only can we not see the floors a lot of the time but everything is sticky. That's how it is when you have kids.

Dylan scooted on his butt a little. It was cute. It did look like he wasn't moving but somehow he's get across the floor. hehe

[AnnieA]

Honestly, other than pumping, I don't do any of those things if I really need to sleep! There are a lot of days that I haven't eaten at all when I leave the house at 3 PM to go to work. If we have had a bad night sleeping, I will forgo just about everything to sleep if DD is sleeping. I've even mastered washing the dipes in between naps.

So either this is a coincidence or I deserve bad mama of the month award. DD has been sleep like crap basically since she got since in Feb. Waking every 1-2 hrs to eat and for the past week, waking every 30 mins or so to eat. The other night, the thought passed through my mind that maybe she was cold in the middle of the night. Not sure why I thought that, I think maybe she was breathing differently but anyways, I covered her with a heavier blanket and she slept for a couple of hours. I covered her with a heavier blanket the last two nights and her sleep has been much better. Coincidence or have I been freezing my child?!?

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Coincidence or have I been freezing my child?!?

IDK but don't feel bad. I did almost exactly the same thing. We'd been dressing Dylan in just a short-sleeved onesie to sleep. He kicks the covers off all night long and wakes constantly. It finally occurred to me to put long pants or a footed romper on him at night. When I did that he slept a lot better. I started dressing him in the short onesie because I thought maybe he was kicking off the covers because he was hot. Now, I think he just kicks of the covers because he's squirmy and was probably cold as well. Whatever works for now.

So, I got some Hyland's Calm Forte for Kellen. It's supposed to help with restlessness and other problems with settling down for sleep at night. My intention was to only give it to sometimes at bedtime when he was especially hyper. I'm afraid, though, that Sean has become too dependent on it. Every night he wants to dose up Kellen. It's homeopathic so it won't do any harm but I don't want anyone (especially my kids) getting dependent on a pill in that way. KWIM?

[Baby_Cakes]

That's how I feel about the cough medicine for dd BC it's pm formula. I worry she's getting dependent on it to fall asleep, and no, it isn't even homeopathic. So.

Long day. Im sooooo beat!!



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