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April 2012 Rockstar Mamas and Their Babies (better late than never) - Page 12

post #221 of 244
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

After the four big kids, I've just accepted that anything in the house or car are fair game for getting destroyed. They aren't being destructive, it's just collateral damage from them being kids and exploring.

Yes, I came to accept this a long time ago. I've had 21 years to get used to the unwitting destructiveness of kids. I wish Sean could get that. He gets mad at me when I don't get all worked up over yet another thing that has been destroyed. It's not that I don't care. It's just that, for the most part, I know it's futile to worry about. I don't want to waste my energy on it.

Kat ~ I forgot to ask you. Have your cycles come back? I vaguely remember you mentioning AF showing up a while ago. How many have you had so far? When did you have your first?
post #222 of 244

Thanks guys.  He seems a little better already, and his fever seems to be holding off.  He had Motrin at the dr office at 3 and was still cool for bed so I didn't give him any more.  Just the abx.  bag.gif  I can't stand to see him in such pain so I'm going to do the abx route instead of homeopathics or garlic oil.  


Re: the tree - I'm with Lauri.  I wouldn't bother planting another.  It's just fodder for him to mess with! It's the age.  It's got to be.  He will outgrow it. 


More and more I'm finding myself opposed to even trying to get them to understand what they're doing wrong.  I was talking with Nora on our stroller walk the other day, and explaining to her why I get upset when she doesn't listen.  I said, normally, in conversations, when someone asks someone to do something they do it.  If I ask Daddy to take out the trash, does he say "No!" and throw a fit?  No, he says, yes, sure, and does it.  If he asks me to set the table, do I stomp my foot and say "No!".  No, I say sure.  It's nice.  It's the way people behave toward each other when they love and respect one another.  She seemed to get it on some level.  Now when I ask her nicely to "get down from there" or "please don't climb all over XYZ" she hops down and says, "See, I listened!" (sometimes!)

Idk.  It seemed to be a moment.  We have lots of moments during our walks. 


She's starting to show glimmers of empathy.  Once in a while.  She's saying sorry when she hurts Finn or me, little things like that.  Those things help.




Is anyone else gardening?  Nora and I are doing a container garden and we are starting from seeds.  I hope some take off!  Her strawberry plants are sprouting but nothing else yet.  We have at least another week to see if anything happens.  


2 weeks til our Disney trip, guys!  I'm starting to get really excited!


Oh, Kat - the Storch is a 4.1 in Inka.  Are you still interested?

post #223 of 244
Thread Starter 
I'm always trying to grow something. This time it's humbingbird flowers. They have sprouted in peat pots but now I don't know what to do with them. I can't set them out on the back deck because the weather and wind can be crazy here. I'd put them in a larger pot but I don't have soil. Plus, we are leaving tomorrow. I think I'm going to take them with us and plant them in pots when we get to VA. That way we can bring them home.

Kellen gets empathy. He rarely does anything to hurt anyone else. If he does, he recognizes it right away and I can tell feels bad. He just gets so excited or gets thoughts in his head about doing something and doesn't have the capability to think through whether or not he can really do it.

Ethan has always been gentle. He rarely said no to me when he was younger. He does more now and I know it's because our relationship is strained. We've gotten into this cycle of him saying he won't do things because I'm mean to him and me saying I'd be nicer if he'd help more. I know it's my responsibility to change it but I can't seem to do it. I see red when he gets his attitude. Like at the doctor today. Kellen had to go to the bathroom so I asked Ethan to take him. Ethan said something along the lines of, why should he do anything for me when he never gets what he wants. The thing is that he wants a $60 M rated video game that I'm not willing to buy him. He doesn't get the why's of that.
post #224 of 244

I have had one AF so far, right when Norah turned 5 months. IDK if this is actually a really long, anovulatory cycle or if my cycles are just going to be 50-60 days long while nursing - they were with Gabe until I started weaning. Other than a bit of cramping, I have no signs of AF arriving or anything else. And a ton of migraines. But a lot of those could be hunger/thirst related.


Carrie . . . The inka is pretty (for stripes! LOL - I am not normally I stripes person) I would love it - how much were you thinking?


Also - sorry Finn is so sick, and that you all aren't sleeping well. If I were closer I would love to help out. It's frustrating sometimes.


My local mama AP group (it's also on FB as a secret group) had so much drama yesterday! I hate mama drama. It makes me want to go hide, especially as I have friends on both sides, and I told one of them in chat, that I am not choosing sides. I see both points, but outside of the drama, all are wonderful people and I don't want to lose IRL friends over this. Argggh


Gabe is young for empathy, but when he does something that hurts someone, he does point to the affected area on theother peson and say " ouch?" - it's a start.


I  could not imagine charting until menopause. If we had enough money that I could stay home, I would just keep on having babies, honestly, if DH getting snipped wasn't an option.

post #225 of 244

Baby_Cakes, all your Disney talk sent me off planning when I want to take DD. Right now, I'd like to do a trip w/my sister and her family (my nieces are 1 and 2 yrs older than DD) in the Spring of 2015. DD will be almost 4. I think that's a good age to go. But then I started checking out Sesame Place. Have you guys taken Nora there? I think I want to take DD next summer. One of our friends has a second home in Philly so we could stay there. I think she would love it. She thinks Elmo is the funniest thing ever.

post #226 of 244
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

Baby_Cakes, all your Disney talk sent me off planning when I want to take DD. Right now, I'd like to do a trip w/my sister and her family (my nieces are 1 and 2 yrs older than DD) in the Spring of 2015. DD will be almost 4. I think that's a good age to go. But then I started checking out Sesame Place. Have you guys taken Nora there? I think I want to take DD next summer. One of our friends has a second home in Philly so we could stay there. I think she would love it. She thinks Elmo is the funniest thing ever.

We've never taken Nora, not yet -- and it's mostly a water park.  I want to wait till Finn is old enough to at least play.  Next summer!  


We took Nora to Hershey Park when she was 2, that was PERFECT.  She loved the kid rides (mostly) and there were enough rides we could go on with her.  And the water park part was awesome -- we spent most of our time there!


Had an awful, awful day.  guilty.gif  Glad DH is back.  And as I was sobbing on the phone to my best friend, my BIL came over completely unasked just b/c he saw my fb status and thought maybe he could help out. So, soo thankful for him these days.

post #227 of 244

Yeah I think next summer will be good for DD. I'm a little worried about taking DD to Busch Gardens in Sept. But I saw that there are lockers for daily rental so at least I can store the pump and big diaper bag there. I was picturing trying to schlep all that stuff through the park and thinking "No way, man." My Bali Breeze wrap has a pocket in one of the tails so I can store a bottle there and maybe a diaper and wipes. Times that that are when I get super jealous of you nursing mamas. It would be so much easier to go out and about w/DD if I didn't have to always factor in pumping times and keeping clean bottles.


So happy that your BIL came over to help! What a great guy!

post #228 of 244

I have a Medela Freestyle pump, Lauri.  It's small and compact and we could carry it with us at the park.  There are plenty of places to pump at BG. I really don't mind bringing it for you to use if you are at all interested.  LMK.

post #229 of 244
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

I have a Medela Freestyle pump, Lauri.  It's small and compact and we could carry it with us at the park.  There are plenty of places to pump at BG. I really don't mind bringing it for you to use if you are at all interested.  LMK.


That would be AWESOME. I have the Medela PISA bag and it's the size of a diaper bag by itself. The Freestyle is rechargeable right? I never have problems finding places to pump, it's just lugging the pump around, ugh. Hate it. When I leave the house in the afternoon, I have DD's diaper bag, the pump bag and my purse. So irritating!

post #230 of 244

I want to know, since these big pumps are often geared towards working moms, why don't they make one with a pocket for your laptop? So I am not lugging the PISA (which is a PITA LOL), my laptop, and purse into work? I feel like a beast of burden!


Annie - I wear a messenger style purse/diaperbag combo. It works.


yesterday was a sucky day. DS didn't want to sleep. and screamed in the store. It's days like that I almost understand the desire to hit your children, except I know it would solve nothing and really only cause more problems. But dude, it was rough.


So, I decided to be meatless for 2/3 meals a day. Dinner we eat en famile with my parents too, so I don't want to make a separate meal, or force everyone to go meatless. Yesterday went well, esp since I allow myself fish. I had the salmon sandwhich at Jason's deli for lunch, eggs and cheese for breakfast, and a chicken and broccoli casserole for dinner. So, not bad. I'm trying to drum up a C25K partner locally, once I get the doubles kit for the stroller. I NEED to at least lose 20 lbs. That's my short term goal.


It's hot. 92 degrees on May 2nd is the high.


Srsly, how is everyone?

post #231 of 244

Lauri - Ok then I'll bring it with!  It's rechargeable and the battery lasts a LONG time.  That is a LOT to carry.  No reason to fuss with all that.  You can just use mine. 


I'm ready for summer heat.  It's gray and rainy here this week, not too warm - mid 60s to 70s.  I don't mind the temps but I do mind the gray!  But if we want green grass and pretty flowers, I guess it's a necessity.


I feel a bit in shock from yesterday still.  I need to just shake it off. I just had some realizations about DD and her behavior and my behavior and how I have next to no support from DH...it's a lot to have on my shoulders.  We need to have a conversation, DH and I.  So.  That is weighing on me.  But otherwise, physically/emotionally I'm ok.  Just need to clear some air and make some changes, I think.


Hmm, Kat -- how about $50 for the wrap shipped?  Sound good?  It's a beautiful wrap.  I'll miss it mostly b/c it reminds me of my babies' newborn days.  I'll never use it again, so I'd much rather sell it to someone who will!  LMK.


Hope Alysia is settling in nice w/her mama! 


JJ - hope you got better sleep last night!


AFM - school day today and I'm going to try to hit up Whole Foods in the afternoon.  It'll guarantee Finn naps at least 30 min on the drive there, and I'll be able to get some things I need/want.  It'll be nice to shop and eat with just the boy.  He is feeling better, though last night he was still pulling at both his ears and screaming his hurt cry whenever I lay him down.  Hopefully with a few more doses of abx, the infection will start to subside.  I used the nose frida on him yesterday and man, something is definitely draining out of his sinuses.  Thick green mucus with chunks.  Poor baby.  Times like this I'm thankful to have access to drs and abx.  For little things I like homeopathy, but for big things I like the big guns.  

post #232 of 244

Carrie, sounds good to me, PM me here or on FB with your PP address (you have one? some people I know do not) and I will send $$. I think I want to have a wrap conversion RS made, just trying to decide which wrap I want to chop (that sounds vicious!)


Also, no reason you cannot do BOTH things. Abx and garlic oil, homeopathics, etc. I do not think, in this case, one would interfere with the other, and may help speed the healing process. Will he or does he sleep better on an incline?


I hope you are able to have a good, constructive talk with your DH about Nora. it's tough - can MIL or BIL (he sounds awesome, BTW) come watch kids so you and DH can have the time and space to talk? I know it helps me to talk to DH about things away from the stress of it happening, so I can be clear and logical and not as emotional. And sometimes, if it's really bad, I write it out and email him. But that hasn't happened in a long, long time. Thank GOD.


MW: let us know how it's going!


JJ: did you get some starbucks? I hope so!

post #233 of 244
Thread Starter 
Carrie ~ So glad your BIL spontaneously showed up to help you. He sounds like a great guy! Not sure what happened at Target but sometimes it's best to just leave.

IDK how Dylan will ever nap for any time here with the dog and Kellen running around. I just laid him down 5 minutes ago and he's already up. GTG
post #234 of 244

I don't even know how to put what happened at Target into words.  It was just a failure on every level!  I only went so I could get some calamine for her arm (Oh, in the chaos I forgot to tell you guys - yesterday when she got dressed I saw what looked like a horrible blistery rash on her arm.  After freaking out we are fairly sure its bug bites - either spider or ant.  Something must have gotten caught up her sleeve, poor baby.  Itches.) and a latte.  I figured since we were there we could walk and pick up a few things.  

She wouldn't stop running off, and she knows that means she goes in the cart.  One warning of that and she took off, climbed into the crib on display and started jumping around in it like a maniac.  Then she lay down in it all quiet and told me to go away, she'd stay there.  I told her she had to get out, went to get her out -- I swear I thought they were going to kick us out of Target.

I don't really care if she's yelling/being her age etc, but she was shouting things at the top of her lungs that were just plain mortifying, and not behaving appropriately/safely for the environment we were in.  We headed to leave (b/c I'm soooo with you on that one!) and she started wailing she didn't want to go home, that she hates home.  Get her in the car and rolled down all the windows and sunroof (she was sweaty and drippy in meltdown mode) and she started freaking out that she hated wind!  She wanted to be sweaty!  Oh man.  Finn was looking at her like WHAT is your DEAL?!?

Finally she calmed down as we were almost home.  She was alright in the backyard at home.  

Then we get inside b/c it was getting late and again she started in on the I hate this house, I don't like you Mommy, I want DADDY.  I lost it.  Of course you want Daddy.  He doesn't do discipline, he's the fun one.  I just .... I hate that I do all the "work" with the kids but he gets all the benefit of being the awesome one.  


I just think, honestly, it was being at Target.  She's not like that at Walgreens or Whole Foods.  I think Target is just too fun or too overstimulating.  Or...i'm just a failure these days.  Could be a little of both, tbh.


Reading this back it doesn't seem as bad as it was.  It was bad.  Hah.


MW - did you bring any white noise?  is it an area you could go for a walk?  Sometimes the only naps Finn gets are on walks or on car rides.  greensad.gif

post #235 of 244

Carrie: what was with kids yesterday? Gabe was screaming his head off in TJ Maxx/Ross's yesterday. Not fun or stimuilating either place, really. I need to start bringing snacks with me everywhere, I think food helps a TON. I finally gave in and wore him in the wrap (note to self, I think silk waves isn't supportive enough for a nearly 30 lb toddler) and he calmed down almost immediately. It was a total Jekyll/Hyde moment.


And yes, sometimes you need to just leave. I hate that, I really do, but it's a fact.


And then bedtime, again with the screaming. Norah nursed well, but the screaming kept waking her up, so DH and I switched off. He calmed down immediately, really fast, but took well over an hour to actually sleep. UGH. And DH said both kids were up super early today. Joy.


Has anything in her diet changed? I wonder if something is up with Gabe's; he has had the squirts two days in a row. Not all day, just at his normal first thing in the morning poop time (how great is it that my kids simeoltaneously poop? :rollseyes:) and I don't know if I need to examine what he's eating . . .

post #236 of 244
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

she started in on the I hate this house, I don't like you Mommy, I want DADDY.

I hear something similar to that regularly. I'm told several times a day that I'm mean. I get very angry and resentful that Sean doesn't have to deal with any of that. He gets to leave and can use work as an excuse. I know it's hard to do but the best thing is to not take that sort of thing personally. She says that because it's the only way she knows how to express her frustration or anger or whatever. Remain calm and try to use empathy to express back what she is really feeling/experiencing. That will help her learn to express herself more clearly.

Sean and I got in an argument last night and now I don't know if we are talking. lol.gif Tell me if you all think this was unreasonable of me.

I was an hour and a half late leaving so I thought our plan to have dinner with Sean was shot. I managed to get close to where he was by 7:30, though, so we agreed to meet about 20 miles south of where he's staying. Sean called me and said the clutch went out on his Jeep. Luckily, he was right at the corner of the street his hotel is on. So, rather than us meeting, I drove the rest of the way to where he was. In discussing what to do about the Jeep, his idea was for me to drive him to the Metro by my mother's house (a 40 minute drive from where he is) so that he could catch the Metro to the airport to rent a car for the next day. I asked him weren't there any car rental places near Quantico? There have to be with the number of Marines and other people who come there temporarily. Turns out there is a rental car place right across the street from his hotel. Why would he want to drive an extra 50-60 miles to rent a car from a more expensive place when there was a place right across the street? Apparently, because the airport rental place is open 24 hours so he could get a car last night. The place across the street didn't open until 7:30 the next morning so he'd have to wait to get a car. jaw.gif I told him I thought that was ridiculous. There was no reason he couldn't just call work in the morning, tell them what happened and that he'd be a little late because he had to wait to get a rental car. He said something about all of us going to back to the hotel while he made some calls or tried to figure something out. I said I didn't want to stay there that long. I had already been driving for 6 hours and it was later than I wanted to be still driving. He got all huffy with me and was like, "Fine! I guess you guys can stay here and eat (we were at a restaurant) and I'll just walk back to the hotel and do whatever I have to do." eyesroll.gif Again, I said that was ridiculous.

He pulls out his smartphone and starts searching for rental cars. Announces he can't get a rental car from the place across the street until noon as if that's supposed to prove to me that he has to get a car right then from the National Airport way up here near D.C. So, can't he call someone he works with to give him a ride? Um, er, um...no real answer. I asked how he knew he couldn't get any car until noon. I find it hard to believe that the place would have absolutely nothing for him. That's just what he could reserve online. They always have stuff you can get if you walk in. Then he gets and attitude because Kellen, who was sitting next to him, crawled under the table and was messing around. He looked at me as if I was supposed to do something. I was across the table dealing with Ethan and Dylan. I couldn't even reach Kellen. I told Sean he had to do more than just distractedly tell Kellen to stop. Oh, but he's looking for something on his phone and can't possibly do anything else! So then he got all huffy again, shut his phone and said something about figuring something out. If he had to, he'd get up an hour early and run to work as his PT for the day.

I think I was supposed to feel bad about that. Poor Sean having to deal with such hardship. I only felt annoyed because there was no need for that martyrdom crap. Just call the freakin' office first thing in the morning and explain what was happening. What would he have done if I hadn't happened to be here? He would have figured something out without trying to make me feel bad about it. It's not like he's going to get thrown in the brig because his car broke down. He's never been late for or missed a day without permission. I think he's only taken 2 sick days in the last 10 years. But somehow it's my responsibility to make sure he can get to work the next day because his piece of crap that I've been telling him to replace for years finally broke down? WTF?

I called him twice last night and once this morning. He didn't answer any of my calls and hasn't called me. I don't know if that's because he's busy or if he's purposely ignoring me. I don't know what he would be busy doing last night at 10-10:30 pm that he couldn't answer his phone. He wasn't at work then. I'm so over his stupid shit!

After all that talk of divorce, I'm at my mom's now. Maybe I won't go back.
post #237 of 244

MW, that would frustrate me too. I don't understand how DH's brain works sometimes. Like he goes out of his way to find a solution to his problem that is the MOST WORK possible for everyone involved. DSS 17 had the prom two weeks ago. He procrastinated on everything so the night before, DH has him out trying to find a corsage for his date. They went to grocery stores (don't even ask me why that was the first place DH thought to go for a corsage) and of course they didn't have any and no florist on duty to make one. DH bought a bouquet of flowers and had DSD 14 researching how to make corsages on youtube. I said "ummm, there are two florists within ten mins of the house. Go there Sat morning and buy a corsage." Like how did that not occur to him? headscratch.gif DH would concoct some crazy plan like your DH did w/going to National and riding the Metro, blah blah. Geez. What a PITA!


On an unrelated note, can I say how excited I am that you are so close to me?!? I'm already trying to figure out when DD and I can get up to see you guys! Is your mom more on the 95 side of NOVA or the 66 side?


DD's sleep has been crap. She's right on the verge of crawling and I think it's just driving her insane. I know it's making me crazy watching her! We have her 9 month WBV on Friday. I'm excited to see how much she weighs now.

post #238 of 244
Thread Starter 
Yeah, Annie. I asked DH why he had to make it so complicated. My mom said her boyfriend is the same way. He lives in Sterling but insists on taking his car to Leesburg to be inspected even though there is certainly an inspection station in Sterling. So, he takes his car to Leesburg and it doesn't pas. He has to leave his car there and figure out how to catch the bus back to Sterling. lol.gif

I've been wondering if there's somewhere halfway that we could meet. Then neither one of use would have to make such a long drive. How long does it take to get to Charlottesville from here? Of course, you are certainly welcome to come up here if that's better. My mom is in Vienna right off 66.

DH did actually run into work this morning. He has a rental car now and the Jeep is at a shop right next to the hotel. I'm not sure it's worth it to replace the clutch on that thing. It's old as dirt and falling apart. I've been telling him for a while now that he needs to get a safer, more kid-friendly vehicle that I can drive if needed. We don't know yet what needs to be done. He says he'll find out tomorrow.

He also said he wasn't ignoring me. I happened to call last night while he was getting the Jeep to the garage and his phone doesn't alert him to missed calls.

Ryan's FB update is that he's bored. He said VA is better than NC. Maybe he's missing us a little. smile.gif
post #239 of 244

It's about 2-2.5 hrs from Charlottesville depending on traffic. We could always meet in Gainsville but I'm always looking for an excuse to get to IKEA in Woodbridge down near Sean. Probably wouldn't be able to do it until closer to the end of the month. Maybe the 25th? I have off that day and it's not a kid weekend so I wouldn't need to be back right at 5:30 PM.

post #240 of 244

Oh I meant to tell you guys. I stepped on the scale today. I'm now 20 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. I guess all the running around and not having time to eat pays off somewhere, huh? A lady in one of my FB groups posted today that she read that a day of breastfeeding is equal to the amount of energy needed to run 7 miles. Does that sound right? If so, I wish it would tone me like running 7 miles a day would! I needed to lose the weight anyway. I'd like to start working on toning up now and drop the rest of this weight. I figure if I can get 30 more lbs off, that would be a good weight for my body shape.

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