I know it's so early to even be thinking of this, and I really haven't been until the last few days. But with the news that the baby was measuring 2-3 weeks ahead at my ultrasound (20 weeks) I am wondering what I will do when I get closer to birth. I want to do what's best for the baby and for myself, and I'm nervous about having another severely big baby and having to make a choice between having an elective section early, or waiting to go into labor on my own and doing it then.
My concerns about waiting come from what happened with Elsa. They assumed something was wrong with her, took her away, and I didn't see her until the next morning. I was out of my mind from exhaustion and drugs, and since we'd made no preparations for such a situation, neither of us knew what to do, what questions to ask, or our rights. That was very hard on me. And I'm sure it was no picnic from her being separated from me, being poked and probably given glucose and who knows what else.
And, probably superficial, but it was really hard to feel like the hospital freak show. I know we got more attention and doctors and nurses coming to get a look at her. And I really hate talking about her size with people for the first time. It's embarrassing, like I did something wrong, and then they ask so many questions. Plus I don't know if I would even want to have a vaginal birth with another her size. I know women have managed it, but I can't help but worry about tearing, tailbone and cervical damage, broken shoulders and collarbones.
But an early scheduled section comes with other worries. He won't get the benefits of labor, I won't know that he's ready to be born. And I'll really hate myself if I go through another c-section and he winds up being only 9 or 10 pounds, let alone 7 or 8, when I know I could have done it. There's no way to really know how big a baby is before birth, I know that, and I'm doing my best to stay healthy and keep to a low weight gain, which is all that can be done, and maybe it won't even be a problem, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it right now.
I want to do the right thing, but I don't know what that would be!