Stupid comments « Back to Group Discussions

[Honey693]

What stupid comments have you gotten so far?  I need to get these out b/c I just get so mad.

You finally got the boy.  DH must be so excited to finally get one.   *Yes b/c he wasn't excited about our two previously children at all.  He was just in this for the boy, he really hates girl babies.*

Oh a boy.  I guess you can put away the dolls and start playing with Legos and trucks!  *yup, b/c boys can't ever play with dolls or they burst into flame.  And that bin of Legosand trucks in the playroom must not belong to my 2 girls either b/c obviously having a vagina makes you incapable of building things and making vrroooom noises*

This is your third?  Wow, you're brave/you'll have your hands full/insert any other comment that implies I'm insane

[FeralFox]

Same kind of stuff here.  Lots of "you have a boy and now a girl, that's perfect!" as if there would be something imperfect/wrong with having two boys.  And it always seems to imply that now I should be done having kids, because I have one of each.  Not so much.  You should see their faces when I tell them we're aiming for at least six, so we'll probably end up having a few of each.  Oh, and the other one is "that's great that you get your girl now!", and then I tell that that Husband wanted a girl, but I really wanted another boy.

[~Demeter~]

Are you finally done?? Are you or hubby getting 'fixed' (as if we are somehow broken)? You do know what causes that... Wow... 6 is a lot! You have your hands full.

I could go on and on... being on my 6th I've heard a lot of stupid comments.

[FeralFox]

You probably started hearing that at 3, right Demeter?  I'm guessing it'll start  for me at my next one.

[Tizzy]

I'm not even showing a LOT, especially when I have my winter jacket on, but I get a LOT of the "wow, you have your hands full" comments. Honestly, it's at least twice every time I'm in public with the kids lol!

One day I may just snap on some poor person and say "What an original thing to say!".   But for now, I generally just nod, keep walking and say "yep!".

Or better yet, sometimes I'll say "Yes, good thing...they keep me out of trouble!"  hahahaha the older folks just love this one.

We didn't have an u/s to find out the sex of our third, but after two boys everyone just assumed we were trying for a girl. And when we "got our girl!" a lot of people assumed we were done having kids.    I actually told everyone how I felt which was that I would absolutely LOVE four boys! That would be so much fun!   Not that I'm complaining about my sweet wonderful little girl ;)  but boys are such a blast too!

[~Demeter~]

Originally Posted by FeralFox 

You probably started hearing that at 3, right Demeter?  I'm guessing it'll start  for me at my next one.

#3 we were constantly asked if we were 'trying for a girl' and when we had another boy, lol, there was lots of disappointment all around (not from us... my 3rd baby boy was just the most beautiful baby ever, lol). And yeah... we started to hear the aren't you done yets after him. When I conceived #4 and we found out she was a she, lol, we essentially were told we NEEDED to do something about our reproductive organs now because we FINALLY got our girl.

that said, I now have 3 and 3 (if the u/s was right) and I'm so amazing good with that symmetry, lol. I am TOTALLY done. ;)

[Ninetales]

I'm sure we'll get comments about having a perfect "set," with one of each.  I know people will make comments about the grandparents being excited, which I don't actually mind.  Of course they would be excited about another girl too, but being that the last boy born to either of our families was my husband thirty years ago, it will be a different kind of excitement (not more or better, just different because it hasn't happened in so long).

Unrelated to the sex, I've already had several variations of "you're not due until August???" or "you sure there's only one?"  AKA, you're so fat and huge. 

And people who know how big Elsa was with their questions about me "having" to be induced or sectioned early, or what my doctor will "let" or "allow" me to do.

[sallyrae17]

I've gotten "are you due soon?" That one cracked me up. I also have had a lot of people b*tch me out for NOT finding out the gender. "How can you not find out? What's wrong with you? It's very important to know the gender of your baby!" Those ones annoy me. Whenever anyone asks "what" is in my belly, I smile and say "a baby!" That always pisses them off. I love it. :)

[FeralFox]

Oh yeah, the size thing, I'm starting to get that too.  I get lots of raised eyebrows and comments when I say I'm not due until late August.  I have a short body, so there's really nowhere for baby to go but out, which does mean a biggish belly.  But still, it's not that big.  Certainly not so big that I look like I'm about to give birth.

[KristyDi]

I haven't gotten any dumb comments yet, but I'm just getting to where you can tell I'm pregnant.  Though I've been surprised at how shocked people seem when I tell them that DH wanted another girl, not a boy.

I'm the oldest of 4 (my youngest sibling is 7.5 years younger than me) and heard my parents get a fair number of "Don't you know what causes that?" type questions.  My dad is a smart @ss and would usually have some type of snarky reply.  I remember, "yup, and we're good at it!" and "Yeah, we moved our toothbrushes to different holders and everything, but she just keeps getting pregnant." with a confused look on his face.

My mom's favorite response to the hands full comment was, "Yes, we're very blessed."

[~Demeter~]

Originally Posted by KristyDi 

I haven't gotten any dumb comments yet, but I'm just getting to where you can tell I'm pregnant.  Though I've been surprised at how shocked people seem when I tell them that DH wanted another girl, not a boy.

I'm the oldest of 4 (my youngest sibling is 7.5 years younger than me) and heard my parents get a fair number of "Don't you know what causes that?" type questions.  My dad is a smart @ss and would usually have some type of snarky reply.  I remember, "yup, and we're good at it!" and "Yeah, we moved our toothbrushes to different holders and everything, but she just keeps getting pregnant." with a confused look on his face.

My mom's favorite response to the hands full comment was, "Yes, we're very blessed."

My response to the hands full comment is usually but you should see my heart.

I grew up an only child even though I have 5 siblings... I hated being an only. I always wanted a big family and I think that most people who watched me grow up probably knew I'd have a huge brood, lol. I am not sure why it's a surprise to some of my family... and society really needs to get the heck out of my reproductive organs! ;)

[LilyTiger]

I know this might sound "Pollyannaish", but many people make comments like this (having your hands full, a perfect set, etc) just to have something to say.  People are generally excited about babies and I remember making comments like this to friends and family who are having more than two kids without meaning any kind of commentary on their choices.  People who are rude or dismissive about your choices certainly deserve to be put in their place, but many people are well meaning and don't realize that their comments may be interpreted as negative or judgmental.  Just a thought from someone who has made these comments in the past. 

[Ninetales]

I know what you're saying and I try to see the best in people too, but as someone who has been overweight her whole life there is no explanation that makes "huge/twins/due any day" hurt me any less.

I know people don't mean to be hurtful, they don't think.  Which I think is the entire problem. 

[Waffler]

i haven't really been getting too many stupid comments...though when people ask if we were trying, that makes me a bristle a little, which i know is being oversensitive. we were trying, for a long time, which was hard...and we were very private about it so when people ask me, i feel like saying "none of your business!" i do agree that many people just say what comes to mind ("wow, you're going to be so miserable this summer!" gee, thanks). and i also agree that the comments about size are super stupid and inappropriate. 

colleen

[Honey693]

I've started getting "Do you know how hot it's going to be in August?" too.  B/c I'm 27 and have live din the midwest my entire life, but no I have no idea that August is routinely 90 and muggy, just no clue at all.

[sallyrae17]

Originally Posted by Honey693 

I've started getting "Do you know how hot it's going to be in August?" too.  B/c I'm 27 and have live din the midwest my entire life, but no I have no idea that August is routinely 90 and muggy, just no clue at all.

Ha ha ha. I get that too. I remind them that I was pregnant with my son in Texas. I'm totally okay with heat during pregnancy...I just sweat a lot. 

[Ninetales]

I have been getting more "I hope the summer isn't too hot for your sake" kind of thing, which is nice.  My sister kind of swooned over the heat thing, but like I told her, I'm always hot in summer and just go from A/C to A/C anyway.  Plus summer means fresh berries out my yard and fresh tomatoes out of my garden, and sweet corn and watermelon and all kinds of good stuff.  I was pretty much living off applesauce, bagels, and chips with Elsa at the end because I was sick of bland winter produce and trying to find things to cook.

[ilovetchotchkes]

Originally Posted by Honey693 

I've started getting "Do you know how hot it's going to be in August?" too.  B/c I'm 27 and have live din the midwest my entire life, but no I have no idea that August is routinely 90 and muggy, just no clue at all.

Chicagoan here. And i've gotten the same comments. 

And I'm like "you big jerks do you even KNOW ME AT ALL. I HATE THE COLD. i thrive on heat. My husband says I'm part lizard. " 

[LilyTiger]

Ninetales, that kind of comment I agree there's no need for.  Even people who are just excited should stop for two seconds and find something else to say.  I agree with you that not all thoughtless comments are equal.  I think making a "hands full" comment just to have something to say is a lot different than an implied comment on weight, even if the intention is good. 

Originally Posted by Ninetales 

I know what you're saying and I try to see the best in people too, but as someone who has been overweight her whole life there is no explanation that makes "huge/twins/due any day" hurt me any less.

I know people don't mean to be hurtful, they don't think.  Which I think is the entire problem. 

[dovemama]

"Are you sure there is not two in there?"

" I wonder why you are so tired???" 

"By 20 weeks, I was feeling fantastic" (Thanks, a lot)

"I can't believe you are pregnant again"

What the heck!! I am exhausted because I chase around a toddler, not because there is something going wrong. 

(as an aside, thanks for the thread, I clearly needed to get that off my chest)