Stupid comments - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[rebecca10]

justchanti-- sorry you are dealing with that. I went through the samewith my first. Also very annoying! And people were convinced I was going to have this super tiny baby, with the implication of what are you doing wrong that the baby is not growing.  (In fact, she was exactly average at 7 lb, 4 oz)   Not much to do though except smile and nod.

[Monk Monk]

Originally Posted by justchanti 

rebecca10 & Lilytiger- that must be so obnoxious!  I get the opposite:  people beating around the bush to see if I'm pregnant without straight up asking.  Then when I tell them I am indeed pregnant and almost 7 months at that, they all look surprised as if I'm lying.  One woman today told me it must be so much easier for me that it was for her because I don't look very big.  Though I don't look big (I'm 5'10" and hide it well), I definitely feel big and I still have a whole slew of pregnancy aches and pains!

My first two (girls), I had a tiny belly. This time I am bigger (boy) and already weigh as much as I did at FT w/ the girls. i'm about 7 mos. too. I used to get that "oh, at least you're so small, it isn't painful." Yeah, except that how you carry has nothing to do with the contorting going on inside! Duh! The kids are all normal size! Try not having room to breathe and tell me how "easy" it is to be pregnant! LOL. People don't get it.

To be fair, first girl was a breeze pregnancy til the very end as far as aches and pains (not morning sickness). She was breech so that was uncomfortable towards the end. Second girl was a little harder on my body, but the VBAC was great and easy. This time I feel like cr*p as far as achey and pains all the time! Still had the same old morning sickness for a boy but more huge and uncomfortable. Sorry...I blab. Ignore people! Everyone and every pregnancy is different! :)

[JennaSpring]

Towards the beginning, I got a ton of: "But you don't even look pregnant!"  When it's your first baby and you want desperately to look pregnant and see that little baby grow grow grow, that could be a little annoying.  Even at 25 weeks, no one has asked me if I'm pregnant, so I've taken to having my mother in law announce from time to time that she is going to be a grandmother or my DH that he is going to be a dad.  That seems to do the trick.  

The funniest thing that anyone has said to me is, "I just know you are having a girl because your hips are getting SO BIG!"  Umm...  I don't even know what to say to that!  I actually laughed out loud.  

[Thandiwe]

My favorite comment: "Are you guys ever going to stop?"

Or, my mother in law's nice and tactful response to the announcement.  She was the 2nd person we told, second only to my mom.  For both, we sent a pregnancy test photo through text with no words attached...just a surprise picture.  MIL: "Can you even afford another one?"  Which is even more ironic when you know the details of her life.  Perhaps those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?  Is that the saying?

[Ninetales]

I just don't get that.  It's a little bit of a horse, barn door situation.  Unless she actually thinks you should have gotten an abortion or should give the baby up for adoption, wtf does she expect you to do?  Whether you can "afford another one" or not, it's happening!

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by Ninetales 

I just don't get that.  It's a little bit of a horse, barn door situation.  Unless she actually thinks you should have gotten an abortion or should give the baby up for adoption, wtf does she expect you to do?  Whether you can "afford another one" or not, it's happening!

That was my thought!  I was like, ahem, what would you propose I do now?  This coming from a woman who's family pays for where she lives because she, well, doesn't want to work.  Period.  So she was bouncing couch to couch and then finally they found a cheap apt to put her in just so they could have some consistency.  I really think it's a deep unhappiness in her own life that led to that nasty comment, but it was hard none-the-less.  I just kept thinking, Well, my husband, your son - the first one to graduate college in his generation and about 99% of the previous generation - works his tail off to provide for his family, and we're making it.  Luxury?  Nope.  But provided for.  So whether or not we can *afford* this baby, he's coming and we'll adjust.  And it's no one else's business!

The non-pregnant side gets the rational reason of why she said it, along with the other back-biting comments she's known to make.  But the pregnant side was a little more...

[LilyTiger]

Thandiwe, I totally agree that it doesn't help, but it is important that a lot of these nasty comments come from people's own unhappiness.  I found myself wanting to say things to my friend who was pregnant while we were TTC that were really crazy, unsupportive, and judgmental... I had to remind myself that they weren't coming from a good place but from my own jealousy and frustration that she had what I wanted more than anything.  Fortunately, I'm mentally stable enough to wrangle the crazy, but other people aren't.  It still sucks and people shouldn't say crap like that, but it's good that you can recognize that it has a lot more to do with her unhappiness than with your decisions.

In other hilarious comment news, my loving mom said two days ago, "I can't believe you've only gained 15 pounds.  You're huge!" (and I'm actually only up 11 or so, which is even weirder).  Fortunately, I love my giant belly and my mom has a well-known propensity for verbal diarrhea, so I rolled my eyes and shrugged it off.  It did make me step back and realize though that I still have almost three months of growth left.  I don't know where it's going to fit.  Ack! 

[Sol_y_Paz]

Several people have verbalized the looking small comment since I honestly do not have the belly for the 3rd tri.  This doesn't bother me though and I don't think it is a stupid comment.  Some outfits/days it looks a bit bigger, but when it comes down to it I fully admit it really isn't that impressive.  I am short, was at a normal/great weight before pregnancy and have been gaining weight so I think it is just the way I carry.  

[ilovetchotchkes]

My favorite has been my Grandmother's: "you should wear that shirt again, it makes you not look as pregnant as you are" 

She also went on a diatribe about how "fat" my sister in law was. My sister in law is due to deliver ANY DAY NOW. And yes she's a bigger girl, but my grandmother was all "blah blah blah she's gained too much weight in this pregnancy!!!". Uhm. she's had hyperemesis, and hasn't gained a POUND. 

[Ninetales]

It's hilarious, since that spate of comments about how huge I was and is it twins and blah blah blah, I've gotten nothing but positive attention.  Everyone asks when I'm due, and when I say, it turns more to the "oh, the whole summer!" "you'll be so hot" stuff which is way better to me.  Maybe I look the "right" size for my progress now or something.