Sigh.... Where to start?
I feel like my struggle with parenting has to do with finding a balance between what I expect my child to be able to do and what he/she is willing or actually able to do. I'm concerned that I may be asking him to do something he truly is not able. But at the same time I don't want him to play me because he just doesn't want to do something, kwim?
Specifically I am thinking about helping around the house. Should an 11 year old be able to clear the table, load the dishwasher, wipe counters down? Not every meal but maybe 4 meals a week? He has no trouble emptying the dishwasher or setting the table but once gross plates, silverware, etc are involved he "can't". When did your kids start actually washing dishes by hand? Things like pans, blenders, etc that don't go in the dishwasher. At what age could your child sweep the floor, wipe counters, etc without you needing to redo it all.
He currently is able to- fold and put away napkins, bring wood into the house, bring wood from the large pile to the one closer to the house, feed/water the chickens (although this is a fight), set/clear table, empty dishwasher. He is responsible for his pet mice and does a pretty good job at that without reminders. He struggles with- bringing his lunch bag to the kitchen after school, loading the dishwasher, sweeping wood/marble floors, wiping counters or tables.
Thanks for sharing with me your kids' ages and what they are currently able to do. I don't want to insitute a set schedule because if he has friends to play with or a lot of extra homework I'd rather he be able to do that but when he has extra free time and I just ask for his help it becomes a fight.