Whoa triplets!

[13pumpkins]

Our family is expecting triplets at the end of summer--technically our due date does cross over into the first week of Autumn but that is an EDD for a singleton.  We were certainly VERY shocked at our first ultrasound and still go through waves of "omg!"  Still, we feel extremely fortunate and are so excited!

I've been hovering all about the internet forums for awhile trying to find the right place to post....and time and time again I return here.  While I have not posted much in these forums over the years, I've followed them and much of the topics are in sync with the flavor of our parenting style.  Additmittedly, it's been a bit hard to post because there's so much more medically involved in this pregnancy that I'm a bit shell shocked.  I'm used to pretty much showing up after months of uneventful appointments, popin' baby out, and putting the baby on the breast!  Recovery after C-section??  Yikes!  NICU?  TERRIFYING!  Breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing, cloth diapering!!! Possible and I think I have a great chance of doing it but the logisitcis are staggering!  I feel like a first time mom all over again at pregnancy #3!

Anyways, I was hoping that I could connect with some other moms here on the board more than I have in the past (vs. lurking to glean the info I needed).

[mamalovex3]

Congratulations on your triplets!!  I think that when multiples enter the picture, sometimes we have to make concessions that we maybe wouldn't with a singleton pregnancy and that's just the reality of ensuring a safe and healthy pregnancy and babies.  Like you, I also feel that it is possible to parent multiples the way WE want to, just maybe with a little more planning and adjustments and remember to go easy on yourself!!  There are some other triplet mamas around here too, I'm sure you can relate :)

[mylilmonkeys]

Congratulations!!  I totally identify with you feeling like a first time mama again.  I felt exactly the same, and still feel that way, with my twins after 6 previous singletons.  It's a trip!  But you will find your way.  Welcome!

[hergrace]

Hey there. Congratulations.

I'm one of the triplet moms who stop be here from time to time, though I must confess it is not often anymore.

My trio will be 5 at the end of the month.

A lot of how you parent the first year will depend on how well you and the babies handle the pregnancy and how much help you have. If you carry close to term and have lots of help and the babies are happy and healthy, you may be able to do everything you dream off with regard to bfing, co-sleeping, etc. OTOH, if you or the babies develop complications, you will need to decide what your priorities are.

To be honest, my parenting looked a lot more mainstream with the trip than with my eldest, but every decision I made was based on understanding what each person in the family wanted and needed and trying to balance it all out. I got really good at finding ways to be touching all three babies at once - lots of floor time with them all leaning on me in different ways.

I got a lot of great advice and stories about how people were balancing AP parenting philosophy with the challenges of having multiples from the Yahoo! group apmultiples.

The single best thing I did for the babes was to get my milk to come in well. My lactation consultant said pump every 2 hours from and I was religious about it while the babes were in the NICU and my milk came in enough for all three babes. The nurses kept telling me to rest and not pump, but the moms I knew who pumped every three hours generally had a much harder time getting their milk volume up.

Congratulations!

[rinap]

Congratulations times three!

Give yourself time to mourn the experience you wanted. It's okay to be disappointed. And then regroup and figure out which parts are most important (about the birth and parenting), and figure out what you need to do to get as much of that as you can. Find a practitioner who isn't afraid of triplets. Get lots of help for afterwards. Lots of help is going to be the best way to hold on to your parenting ideals. And then be gentle on yourself. You'll need to be flexible and be your best parent for the situation you're in. Some things may change as you go. (I don't babywear as much as I'd like because of logistics and a babywearing-related back injury, we had a sidecarred crib instead of just having the baby in bed with us as we would have done with one ... every family is different and you'll make the compromises you need to to make things work for you)

Such an awesome adventure.

[ithappened]

Give yourself time to mourn the experience you wanted. It's okay to be disappointed. And then regroup and figure out which parts are most important (about the birth and parenting), and figure out what you need to do to get as much of that as you can.

I couldn't agree more. I am only have twins but it took me a few weeks to mourn the implications of twins and the fact my small family was no longer going to be even close to small. I am about 24/25w and I am still not sure I am totally at peace with all the implications but I'm getting close :)

[13pumpkins]

Thank you everyone so much!  I'm at work so I cannot leave more than a quick post until this evening (unless I fall asleep again as I do early every night LOL) but I wanted to say thank you so much.

[lesliesara63]

Congratulations! It certainly is terrifying & you would be crazy to not be scared. But it will be ok. Hergrace gave me some very encouraging advice early on & I'm still hanging in - haven't jumped off a bridge yet. I have stretched myself & my budget thin but we're doing ok. Definitely consider what kind of paid help you can get. I only have a second but I'm happy to chat triplets anytime.

[Barefoot Farmer]

Another triplet mama here. Total of 5, one older, one younger. My trips are 2.5years. I would agree with the previous posters that you and your partner should talk about your priorities and what you are willing to give on. Cloth diapering, breastfeeding, and giving attention to our oldest were our main priorities. We put help into the home for the first 3-5 months. One of my sons had a lot of difficulty nursing and I had to accept that he wouldn't have the same nursing relationship as my other two. We were quite successful with our priorities until I became pregnant again 13 months later. Again we had to readjust and cloth diapering dropped and better, more wholesome food moved up.

Congratulations. Triplets are intense in every way. You will feel overwhelmed, yes, but there are times where you will feel overwhelmed with love. Congratulations.

[momtoafireteam]

Hi! I have 6 children and am also expecting triplets this summer- my 40 week due date is mid Sept but I am obviously expecting August, hopefully towards the middle of August if I have any say in it. ;) 

I am definitely still having moments of terror and disbelief, even now at 20ish weeks. Its just so overwhelming. I am making BFing my absolute number 1 priority, and CDing to take a second place. If I can manage to CD, fabulous. I think this is definitely the best place I have found for AP stuff, the triplet forums I have been to are verrrrrrrry mainstream and have really tried to dissuade me from even trying to BF etc. 

We can do it, mama!!! 

[Emaya]

Everyone already said it so articulately -- I don't have anything to add!

One little thing about pregnancy. I went 36 weeks and babies didn't need NICU time. That's mostly luck, and possibly a little help with working really hard on a healthy and enormous diet throughout pregnancy. The ligament pain was excruciating at the end there (don't worry, hits some few women and not others), so I was freaking out about not being able to sleep and knowing that I wasn't going to sleep for the next year or two after birth, either. But actually, I got way better sleep after the babies came than before (again, just my experience, because I was in such discomfort in the last month of pregnancy, and also have pretty chill babies). So don't spend any of your sweet time freaking out about stuff that may or may not happen. My babies turned 4 months on Friday (3 months adjusted), and things are wild at times but generally amazing, sweet-smelling, and snuggly.

[MamatobabyA]

Not a multiples Mama, but I wanted to link to this blog.  She EBF and CD's her trio and gives some excellent advice about managing with 3.  http://jennandtonica.com/

[13pumpkins]

Originally Posted by Barefoot Farmer 

Congratulations. Triplets are intense in every way. You will feel overwhelmed, yes, but there are times where you will feel overwhelmed with love. Congratulations.

I go through waves of this so often.  I worry for their health, I sometimes get scared when the girls have a really tough day (they are still so young at 2.5 and not quite 5), but then I get hit with what I cannot title better than "awe."  It is still sinking in how amazing it all is and how lucky we are and the magnitude of how wonderful this is.

Everyone is giving such wonderful advice--thank you!  With our two girls, I took an approach of "this is what I want to do and feel that is important" but remained flexible when possible.  Parenting is an adventure with flexibility.  We are moving soon into a house that needs work and have already decided to forgo on some fixes versus others that are better to accommodate the babies--for example, we can still use ugly, yellow toilets but any of the "dusty" work has to be done well in advance to the babies' arrival.  Thankfully, we should be in and settled before they arrive!

I contacted a diaper service in town and am hoping to use them at first despite having so many cloth diapers at home.  Our eldest child was severely allergic to 'sposies and our second shows some signs of it, though she has only wore one 2 or 3 times.  I think cloth may be harder, but it also may be something we just don't have a choice in the matter given how bad it was for our eldest. 

Apart from the general trying to get ready for their arrival and how to care for them, I am putting a lot of energy towards breastfeeding them.  I believe I have a good shot at it and will try my best.  The hard part for me is that there just is not a ton of support for it.  Thankfully, my closest friends ARE supportive, one of which is pumping and freezing milk for the babies.

Edited by 13pumpkins - 4/23/12 at 9:38am

[mamalovex3]

Originally Posted by 13pumpkins 

I contacted a diaper service in town and am hoping to use them at first despite having so many cloth diapers at home.  Our eldest child was severely allergic to 'sposies and our second shows some signs of it, though she has only wore one 2 or 3 times.  I think cloth may be harder, but it also may be something we just don't have a choice in the matter given how bad it was for our eldest. 

Apart from the general trying to get ready for their arrival and how to care for them, I am putting a lot of energy towards breastfeeding them.  I believe I have a good shot at it and will try my best.  The hard part for me is that there just is not a ton of support for it.  Thankfully, my closest friends ARE supportive, one of which is pumping and freezing milk for the babies.

I think a diaper service is totally worth it for the beginning.  We only started cloth when the babies were 6 months old but could probably have swung it at 3-4 months.  Breastfeeding was my #1 priority and I think planning for it that way really helped me to have realistic expectations.  And that is awesome that you have a friend pumping and freezing for you already!  When I had supply issues in the beginning, my SIL pumped for one of my girls to supplement and it was such an amazing thing.