Their marriage seems to be getting increasingly rocky. After I had my first son we began talking more frequently and recently we have talked less often. I was chalking it up to her work being busy, her knee deteriorating and her being on a diet. But then she had Friday off work and although we texted a few times she didn't give me a call as I suggested. When I spoke to her yesterday she mentioned she had a fight with her husband and spoke to my brother's girlfriend afterwards. I sent a message to the brother's girlfriend who told me somethings I had not heard including that my mom is keeping quiet about all of this with my two older brothers because she feels they would not be rational in their reactions. The gf told me that she makes sure to call my mom about every other day to make sure she is okay. She also told me that supposedly his last two relationships ended due to his anger issues. That my mom is keeping a journal of incidents in case her husband ever agrees to therapy she can pull it out. (He has not agreed to therapy because there is nothing wrong with him but she is screwed up.)
I also stayed with them for a while over the summer while my husband was looking for a place for us to live. I noticed a book about anger management and a legal pad under it. It was really nosey of me but I looked at the pad. The second or third page appeared to be responses to questions from the book. Things about my mom being overly critical of him, him feeling like her loyalty to her children and grandchildren was not right, that he plays off his stress as work related when really it is she stressing him and that he needs to drink to handle being around her. I debated about telling my mom about this notebook so she could see that he was being dishonest with her about his feelings. I ended up doing nothing.
My husband's feelings comes from the fact that his uncle had a troubled marriage and his mom would listen and try to make suggestions. Then the uncle would go and tell the wife whatever and it came back unfavorably on my mil. At some point I guess I said there are two sides to every story. So my husband is telling me that now regarding my mom and her husband.
My mom is going to be visiting me next week and has been open that she is glad to get a break from her husband. My bro's gf is hoping my mom tells me some of things she hasn't yet and I can reason with her. The gf is afraid things could get physical - he did push my mom on one occasion which I know from the gf not my mom. And my hubby says stay out of it.