I've been reading posts in "Mental Health" for quite awhile, so before I talk about DD, I just want say that I'm writing this hoping for some sound, loving advice from mamas who've been there. This is a very rocky road we're traveling, and as I type the tears are flowing, so please, no judgements.
My DD is 8, has been identified as "gifted" and loves to learn. She has a tremendous sense of empathy for others, is tender and patient with her little brother, and wants to be friends with pretty much every kid she meets. She can be the sweetest, most generous child you can imagine...and sometimes she is so violent and filled with rage it's as if a monster has taken over her brain and we're stuck in a bad sci-fi movie. I don't want to run on and on, but I want to give an accurate picture of what she goes through, as well as her family history, so this post may run a bit long.
History: Mom (me) is a rapid-cycling Manic Depressive controlling illness with Lithium. Biological father is a rapist, so I don't have much history on him, but I do know that he is Paranoid Schizophrenic and a drug abuser- street drugs and Rx both at the time of the rape.
Current symptoms: extreme excitability- often gets so worked up when playing that we have to sit her down and get her to breathe so she doesn't starting coughing, then vomiting, irritable- snaps at us for the tiniest things, rage- when provoked, often by something we can't identify, she hits/kicks/throws things/scratches at us, etc., mood swings: I'm very educated and in-touch with my illness, and yet the speed with which she goes from happy, to angry, to punching me, to "mom, can I have a snack?" is nothing short of dizzying.
Other Symptoms: DD is extremely self-centered- my mom told me today that when the kids go over for their Friday night sleepover, it's really a chore now because they all have to do exactly what my DD wants to do, or it's meltdown city. She is very intelligent (genius level IQ) and she knows it, and often hurts other kids feelings by making rude statements about their lack of similar intelligence, but then in the same day she'll be hiding under her desk crying and screaming that she's stupid and no one loves her. :'-(. Ultra-competitive, to the point that everyday activities can be disastrous...take our Easter egg hunt today...she had a screaming episode partway through because she thought her little brother was getting too many of the well-hidden eggs and she was finding the "baby" ones that were easily visible.
I've had to stop while typing so many times because this is so painful...I feel so helpless! However, I do know that the best thing I can do is to get some help; I'm making an appt. with our doctor first thing in the morning. We have a great doc who's totally comfortable with our choices (no vaccines, no antibiotics, etc), so I suspect she will refer us to a psychologist. I'm hoping that some of you out there can give me some ideas for natural things I can try- diet modification, natural supplements...? I wouldn't even go to the doc now, but this has been going on for years and we've tried all kinds of techniques to help her calm herself, etc and it just keeps getting worse. It's to the point that I don't even want to take her to the store, and she has very few friends at school, none of them close friends, because they've all seen her out-of-control episodes.
Bottom line...I'm scared for her, and often scared of her. Help, please.
-Pam, water-birthing, breastfeeding, no vacc'ing, unconditional parent to my DD, 8 and my DS, 3, with a whole-lotta help, love, support and dish washing by my very, very DH!
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