My 4yo daughter has been having so much trouble with lying, getting into things she shouldn't, doing things she knows are wrong and being sneaky. I am having a huge problem with logical consequences. I don't really know where to start. It seems like almost all of the things she does have no logical consequence except to me, not to her.
For example, she took crayons and colored all over the walls one day. I gave her a rag and told her to clean off the walls. (The crayons are the washable type, they come off with water.) She rubbed a little bit and then sobbed and threw a fit because it was too hard. Then she refused to do it. So the consequence is that mom has to do it.
She tore up my contact lenses. Consequence? I no longer have contact lenses.
She dumped a pot of soil into the dog's water dish, then used the broom to paint the walls with the resulting mud. Consequence? I have to clean it up because she's not tall enough to reach up high on the walls where she was painting.
She keeps using markers on the couch when I have no idea she even has them and my brand-new couch keeps getting marked on. Consequence? My couch is ruined. Consequence for her? Absolutely none - which is why she keeps doing it.
Every single meal, she refuses to eat. I never used to force her to eat. I've always believed in not forcing children to eat their food, but it has gotten really bad. It's every single meal now. She would rather get up and play. I can't even get her to snack. She will only eat candy and junk, so I've stopped bringing it home altogether. During the day, the logical consequence that occurs is that her behavior worsens to the point of no return because she's so miserable from being hungry. Yay for me, especially having to deal with her psychotic behavior while also having to care for a new baby. At dinner, the consequence is she wakes up in the middle of the night hungry and then begins to cry and shriek horribly because I won't wake up and fix her a new meal. We cosleep, so this is especially horrible. It's not like she can sit in her room and scream by herself.
She keeps stuffing the toilet full of toilet paper and then flushing it. Consequence? I have a bathroom flooded with poop.
There are so many more that occur on a daily basis. I could type all day.
I can't think of anything but punishment for the things she has been doing, but I don't believe in punishing. It just makes children resentful and even more angry, lessens her trust in me and causes her to lie more to avoid being caught. This sort of behavior is SO INCREDIBLY not like her. It's like someone replaced my child with a different one altogether. I know everyone will say it's because of the new baby, but this started long before the baby got here.
Help me see what consequences can come of these actions that don't involve me punishing her. I'm tired of all of the consequences being on me.