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Weekly Chat April 9 - 16 - Page 2

post #21 of 112
Thread Starter 

Wow Jess, then congrats are in order!  Hopefully this is a happy thing for them.


Mom2SJ, your labor with your DD sounds great.  Would love that to happen to me! 


chiro, I forgot, my nips do crack and bleed with thrush, even when I can't find white spots on either of us.  Here's what I do: 1) as a "preventative," I put white vinegar in every load of laundry that I do that includes undergarments or any of my or the girls' clothes.  ESPECIALLY bras and nursing pads. You can just put it in the fabric softener slot or use a downy ball.  Maybe 1/4 cup per load? 2) as a "cure," I put vinegar or a vinegar/water mix in two bowls and dip my boobs in them.  Air dry.  Every time I nurse.  If that's not possible, I put some in a spray bottle to take with me and wipe my boobs/entire upper torso down with it after nursing. Keep boobs as dry as possible.  I don't know why, but this works for me.  GV works too, but I'm not sure I'd use that on a newer babe unless everything else failed.  Anyway if you suspect thrush, I'd start with vinegar.  Good luck.  I know it really sucks.


Had a midwife appt today, 40+4.  Still 4 cm, 60% effaced, measuring 41.5.  Scheduled a NST for next Tues (41+4) and an induction for next Thurs (41+6).  bag.gif  They will do a slow pit induction and foley bulb, even for VBACs, but I really feel confident that baby will come before that.  I mostly scheduled it now so that I can have the provider I want--she reassured me that they're very conservative ("2 by 2" she called it--2 units of pit per 1/2 hour).  I'm not willing to go over 42 because I won't sign a waiver so I feel like this will be my only option.  There's no way I'm scheduling a c/s.  So it is what it is.  And I'll try everything else before that--castor oil, nip stim, etc.  DD was spontaneous labor at 40 weeks (born at 40+2) so I really can't imagine this one going to 41+6.  Guess we'll just wait and see!

post #22 of 112

Congrats, Jess! Grandbabies are so much fun!

post #23 of 112

I just wanted to stop by quickly and post to say I hope everyone is doing well! We've had a long week, Eleanor had to be admitted to the hospital yesterday for jaundice, I went to the ER because my hand swelled up with tingling and was numb to the touch, they gave her a pacifier and I flipped out.... And today we came home and it's my birthday! Lots going on but things are smoothing out. I will try to post her birth story later this week.


Good luck to everyone who still is waiting to give birth and hold their babies! And I hope those of you who have are having a wonderful recovery.


Here is Eleanor last Saturday, at 4 days old.



post #24 of 112

Another at 39+3 today.


I was wondering the same thing that a few ladies brought up... why is it that if a normal pregnancy is considered to be anywhere from 37/38-42 week range, why is it that as soon as you hit your due date, all the worries (ourselves and others) and scares kick in? My MW offered me a membrane sweep last week. at only 39 weeks. I have never had one before, but geez it was sort of tempting. Have got homeopathics, clary sage, and accupressure points to try hopefully before it comes to that. I've always been nervous of a sweep bc it seems like it would lead to ones water breaking sooner before or during the labor. Having labored both ways, once when my water broke just before labor began, and once when my son was almost born in the caul, ctx with intact membranes are much more comfortable imho.


it's like this cultural fixation about due dates, despite everyone and their doctor knows and should tell you that you are not considered 'overdue' or a pregnancy 'postdates' until past 42 weeks. I tell everyone who asks me when I'm due, 'anytime in April' but it gets tiring explaining what should be obvious. And yet why do I, even armed with this knowledge get feeling anxious about going past 40 weeks? Hope oscillates with fear with each bout of ctx that comes and ceases, as each day passes.  Then wonder how long, forever maybe? i will remain pregnant if I pass 'the date' (as I have with my 3 kids each time). The closer I get to 40, the more sure I get that i will never have this baby lol! Why is it I can feel some internal programming saying that going "early" i.e. 37-40 weeks is somehow good, and going 'late' 40-42 weeks is some how bad? Kind of like being placed in advanced placement versus remedial classes in school. If I hear of someone going before 40 weeks, like my SIL at 39 weeks, i feel a twinge of envy and feel that is somehow more 'right' than me going 'long' in the pregnancy (somehow wrong). Doesn't every source for pregnancy remind us not to get attached to the due date, that only 5% of babies are born on that date? Maybe it was better in the days when pregnant women were told to "expect a little stranger due next spring" lol.


Sorry to write a book on it, but it's just bugging me lately. Feels like the scramble and tension and pressure to have the baby asap begin right at 40 weeks (or even a bit before) which shouldn't be the case for what is truly a normal range for gestation.


And that said, I have also felt quite 'done' and irritable and impatient and like I can't take another day of this! And that I can't wait to meet DD3. Ha ha. But that is mainly because of awful restless legs and pelvic/pubic pain/pressure and reflux is driving me to insane insomnia every night and it's miserable. If I could feel better physically I could be more patient with the process.


Oh and relevant to this waiting game, have you seen the new article on the homepage of mothering about the waiting for labor to start "between"? Worth a read!

post #25 of 112

Thanks Tara! That's exactly what I've been feeling, but you put it beautifully to words.  I had a moment of clarity today as I thought I've got precious days left to enjoy the family that is mine right now, for after the baby is born it will be a whole new family: definitely not a bad thing, but all together different.  I feel impatient, just because I want to meet this little one so badly, but am fairly comfortable, not scared of going past dates, and have lots I can do.  But still, all the things you said get under my skin as well.  It's the pity that people express that really drives me crazy: like for some reason being where I am is the worst thing in the world.  And I'm only 39 weeks!!!


Anyway, enough complaining from me.  I'm going to go to bed - I've got stuff to do tomorrow!

post #26 of 112

Well, 4 hours ago I didn't know it, but I think this is it!  I went to bed at 10, woke up at 11:30 with contractions I couldn't sleep through, woke up DH at 12:30 and we are getting things prepped.  I'm still in "early labour" I think, but contractions are about 3 1/2 min apart and definitely getting more powerful.  Agghhh! I'm nervous for the first time, as I remember just what I'm about to go through.  Hopefully this time will be much more peaceful than the last - but I still have to go through it regardless.  So, look for an announcement from me tomorrow (or a very disappointed false alarm post).  Eek!

post #27 of 112

oo jenny cant wait!  i am up at 4am w a wide awake baby so I will be thinking/praying for you! would respond to everyone but i am not so coherent!

post #28 of 112

"I'm going to go to bed - I've got stuff to do tomorrow!"


Oh, yes you do!  How exciting.  Insomnia/rib pain here so will be thinking of you!

post #29 of 112

Exciting Jenny! Can't wait for an update! 


I love hearing everyone's perspective on being overdue.  I had DS on his due date at DD at 38+3, so I've never experienced it, but it must be a major conflict of head knowing it is healthy for babies to cook till their done and heart wanting to meet baby NOW!  


After my good long test run of regular contractions on Saturday, I haven't had much in the way of labor signs, with the exception of how low this baby is, my other two were much much higher until I was in full blown labor.  Hoping that being closer to the exit means a speedy delivery.  


I've spent the last two days trying to process my best friend from college's recent birthing.  She was just shy of a week past her due date with her first on Saturday night, lost her plug and immediately started with extremely painful contractions.  After an hour she and her DH left for the hospital, her water broke in the car with thick merconium, and by the time they checked her at the hospital, just about two hours from the first contraction she was already 7-8 cm.  The baby wasn't doing well at all with the contractions which had been right on top of each other from the beginning.  They tried to slow them with a drug, which didn't work, and did an emergency c section.  The baby had the cord around her neck 4 times and had very low apgars and a bad neuro exam.  Her little daughter has been on cooling protocol in the NICU (something they do to prevent further brain injury I guess) since birth and my BFF hasn't got to hold her yet.  Her neuro exams have been good the past two days though, which is great news.  They will warm her today, which is risky, and if all goes well be able to hold her this afternoon.  


Mentally getting a grip on this terrifying birth has been a challenge for me.  I've spent so much effort learning to trust the process of birth and it hits close to home when somebody dear to me has such a traumatic experience, so close to when I'm expecting myself.  I talked on the phone to my mw yesterday about my friend, which made me feel somewhat better, and I spent all morning in my greenhouse yesterday, which allowed me some quiet space to emotionally digest.  Birth is a process where the joy/sadness elation/anxiety and trust/terror lines are so thin.  

post #30 of 112
Thread Starter 

40+5 today, and Tara, THANK YOU for putting the "overdue" thing out there.  You said it perfectly--I don't know why there is this (cultural?) pressure to feel like something is "wrong" because your babe decides to cook a little longer. It is hard. DD's preschool teachers, the ladies at the fabric store....everyone wants to know WHEN I'm having this baby.  And I'm like, "how the hell should I know?!"  eyesroll.gif


jennyv, hope this is it for you!  I keep forgetting how labor can just start--hoping it is quick and smooth for you.


Fern5Fern, I'm so sorry that your friend is dealing with that.  From what I've read that cooling thing is really effective--I hope that the babe comes through unscathed.  I can't imagine how hard this must be for them--the NICU is such a hard place to be.  And the focus is inevitably on how sick your child is, rather than the fact that there is a new life that just needs extra attention.  I hope mom and babe both recover quickly.

post #31 of 112

Hi ladies,

Kate thanks for starting the thread. I definitely plan on being active with it again but life is a little hectic right now.  


Many hugs to mamas close and beyond 40 weeks.  I was struggling and i wasnt even 39 weeks. people just kept looking at me and asking.


fern- i am so sorry about your friends birth. so traumatic. i hope the results are good today. it would be really hard to keep that out of your mind so close to birth, i hope your mw helped you process some as well as the quiet time you took.


tara- i totally agree abt laborong w intact vs not membranes- so much easier intact in my experience. waiting is so hard! i was not patient and got irritable at the end but i do think some of that was hormonal shifts.


cesky- so sorry you both ended up in the hospital. she looks beautiful. are you both doing better? happy birthday to you!


jess- congrats! how fun, but you dont look like a grandma at all to me :)


chiro- i second the checking for tongue tie and making sure latch is good. sorry it is so painful :(  ds had tongue tie and it was hard. luckily dd does not which is such a blessing.


afm- my parents came to visit saturday through tuesday which was awesome but i am tired and enjoying a quieter day today. dd is pretty chill except for a few hours at night when she cluster feeds/cries because she cannot stay asleep. It is a little hard because I have a hard time side lying for nursing right now.  She is a champion nurser though and i am super swollen today.  DS is adjusting remarkably well to having a sister and loves to hold her and snuggle her.  It is so sweet.  I am figuring out the juggling of recovery vs still being a functional mommy.  Right now it is still heavy on the recovery part but I do look forward to being mommy more. DH gets 3 weeks paternity leave so I do not feel pressure to hurry.  My bleeding is minimal already and I feel pretty good other than some swelling and tiredness.  I will try to post dd's birth story soon, it honestly could not have been better if I could have planned every detail including some of the postpartum recovery.  I am still reading and keeping up with everybody, just trying to figure out when to respond has gotten trickier :)

post #32 of 112

Fern5Fern - I work as a nurse in a Level 3 NICU and let me tell you, cooling is a life saver. Literally. We have had babies who were given grave outcomes by the Level 4 ICU neruo specialists go home in less than a week from birth acting like any other 1 week old. Babies we were told would never suck, never have muscle tone, etc go home 'normal'. I'm so very happy that your friend was close to / delivered in a cooling location. That is the best possible thing for a baby with birth neuro compromise. 

As for me. I am 38w2d and for no good reason I am getting discouraged. I am already looking at induction dates and mentally preparing to be pregnant in 3 weeks. My other two were induced out so I just have low hopes for this one. Add to that the nice little fact that my husband is not being helpful in the natural 'induction' methods and I am seriously bummed right now. I am having daily periods of contractions 8-10 min apart with lower uterine cramping and back aches. They always go away and never progress. No plug loss. Nothing painful. Nada. So, I'm bummed and no fun to be around right now. 

Also, I am having a name panic right now. The name we had settled on hasn't set right with me for a few weeks now. I am now revisiting the previous front runner. No one likes it (except DH) and I can't find a middle name I like. 

post #33 of 112

I never have much time to partake in the weekly threads but I do read them and keep up to date on all of the ladies here:) BUT I do have some time this morning as I'm being a VERY lazy homeschooler today and my kids are watching TV...which they could do all day with the way I'm feeling...


Everyone is so darn close! I'm 39w today and feeling very ready to meet my little one. I'm pretty much done my to-do list, have the house cleaned for the most part(just bathrooms, laundry and vacuuming to keep up with), and have all my birth supplies ready to go:) My Hubby has been shown where everything is and my 2 close friends are ready for my call! I'm getting a bit nervous about how the birth will go....this is my second UC but my first where I have done all of my own prenatal care. It's been pretty good but I tend to have anxiety so there's always that worry in the back of my head..."Is there something wrong with me that a MW or Dr. would have noticed???". I know it's unlikely but anxiety doesn't make it easy to just let go and relax :( My hubby, mom and friends are all extremely supportive and excited about the birth so that helps:)


I had a few cx's yesterday that were more than BH's and were painful so I really thought that this baby was going to come early this am....Kinda bummed it didn't happen :( I'm feeling huge and my SPD is getting a bit worse again. Not to mention my sciatica...ugh.


Rik- Hope you can find the right name for your little one:) About the natural inductions methods....Do you have any evening primrose oil you could insert? It's almost like semen....it could help a bit:)


Cseky- Your daughter is gorgeous!!! I hope her jaundice has totally cleared and you are back to enjoying your babymoon!


Jess- A GRANDMA!???? I seriously thought you were in your early 30's when looking at pics of you and your boys....holy dina! You look amazing!!! Have you decided on birth plans for this little one...I think you mentioned not liking the set-up with birth center or something? I hope you get to hold your little one soon!!


Kate- I've had 2 late babies....one 10 days over and one 5 days over. They were amazing nursers...had absolutely nothing wrong with them...and I believe they really did need those extra few days. I was told by the ped. at the hospital(my 1st son was in there for no reason...) that 1 day in the womb equaled 3 days on the outside. That's how much growth etc happens in there:)  Your baby is SMART and she knows exactly when it's time to come. Trust that your body and baby KNOW when they should come and just surrender to the process. I know it's easier said than done...but sometimes surrending will let our bodies relax enough to get that oxytocin flowing~~~ My thoughts are with you~~~~


Fern- I'm so sorry for your friend and her little baby :( What a horrible experience! I hope that baby continues to heal and her tests all come back normal. I can't imagine having that on my mind while I'm preparing to birth...Healthy birth thoughts coming your way~~~


Flavor~ Can't wait to hear your birth story! Your pics are amazing:)


JENNY!!!! I can't wait to hear about your birth!!! I hope it is everything you've dreamt it will be!! I wonder if you'll have a boy or girl???? I'm waiting with bated breath!!!! xoxoxo EASY Birthing vibes have been sent across the city to you~~~~~ I can't believe you're less than an hour away from me, in labour....so crazy!!!


post #34 of 112

Jenny, good luck!!!!


Kate, going overdue is SO hard, but sometimes it's what baby needs. Evie was born at 42+3 and showed no signs of postmaturity. Tavian was born at 40+2 and he was covered in vernix and lanugo (and STILL has all his fur a week later) and was assessed at being at 39 weeks development, and I'm certain of my dates. Some people just cook slower. Once she's out you'll feel better about going "over." I've had lots of fun telling people about how Evie was 17 days overdue and totally fine, and shocking them. I hope you don't make it that long, but really going over is almost always fine.


Jess, congrats!

post #35 of 112

I agree with all of the advice on going over dates. I was 42 weeks when I had DD and even though she looked post dates (skin already peeling) I gained enough trust in my body and her developmental needs that I knew she had to be in longer. It was my favorite labor out of all three and I'd be happy to go over that much again if I could have the same kind of labor.


I just got home from an appointment. I am now dialated to a 2. I think that my cervix is still pretty firm though and I'm not sure that I am effaced at all. I am 40+4 and sooo ready to have this little babe. I haven't been feeling very good the past couple of days and man it's hard to get around. You all can relate though. I still do not want to have this babe tomorrow (BIL's b-day) So I'm content to wait.


Congrats to all of those with happy baby news! I think that I am going to go take a nap.

post #36 of 112

Due Dates:  I agree Tara!  This is number 3 for me, and I was so sick of my anxious mother "just checking in" nearly every day of the last two weeks of the previous two pregnancies, that I decided not to tell anyone my due date and just go with "sometime in April."  (Supposedly it is April 14th.)  But it hasn't worked.  It's made my mom even more crazy, if that's possible.  If there is a next time, I am going to do something different: count out two weeks from my supposed "due date", when I'd be 42 weeks, and broadcast that to the world as my due date. In fact, I sort of think all of us should do that.  :)


JennyV!  Hoping this is your day!!!


Fern5Fern- what a scary story.  My BF had a hard delivery 2 months after my quite easy one--- nothing like what your friend went through, but traumatic nonetheless-- and I remember feeling sort of guilty and weird about my easy delivery.  Not a good feeling, but if you want to worry about something, maybe you can worry AND think positively by forecasting an easy birth for yourself and beginning to think about how you can still support your friend after having had a wildly different experience?


I have my hair full of henna, wrapped in saran wrap and tucked into a heavy winter hat.  :)  Sure hope I don't go into labor before I wash it all off.  Would not make for the best birth photos.  :)

post #37 of 112


I have my hair full of henna, wrapped in saran wrap and tucked into a heavy winter hat.  :)  Sure hope I don't go into labor before I wash it all off.  Would not make for the best birth photos.  :)

I keep reminding myself to make sure that I don't have any mascara on when I go into the hospital because it's not waterproof and that would look hideous!


post #38 of 112

Ok, I think I may be losing my mind today and I may need to stop reading!! Things at work are winding down so I find myself on this board more since I have more time. (totally shouldn't be on at work - shame on me) but I'm thinking maybe that is not such a good thing. I love keeping up on these threads and sharing this journey with other ladies but whenever I read something bad - I seem to be internalizing it. For instance, reading about Fern's friend (so sorry btw Fern. I hope your friend's baby is ok) makes me think about all the possible things that could go wrong when It's my turn. I just read a few minutes ago on the birth boards that some poor woman just lost her 11 week old baby. He just wasn't breathing one morning and now he's gone. Im sitting here in my cubicle at work crying for her pain (literally...just had 2 people ask me if im ok!) and feeling this sense of dread about how fragile life can be and other morbid thoughts. This is NOT what I need to be thinking about at 39 weeks 4 days!!! I need to get a grip - but all of a sudden I just feel scared and ridiculous at the same time for allowing my emotions to get the better of me and not be able to maintain a positive outlook for my own sanity. nut.gif.I know as a rational human that bad things happen for no good reason, BUT denial has been working fairly well for me and just not allowing myself to go anywhere negative in my head for very long...  Geez I wish it were 4:30pm and I could go pick up DS at daycare and sqeeze him tight and go home.....

post #39 of 112

Marnica, I can relate. Seems to me that pregnant women are pretty suggestible. I had just come to a positive, peaceful feeling about my upcoming labor and birth a few days ago, it was a big internal shift for me. Then I had to go and read stuff on the thread about traumatic homebirths (why did I see it that day? never saw it before)--which with my DS it kind of was-- and it let doubt creep back in my mind about my ability to do this and how this birth would go compared to the last, etc. It's hard. I too read about the 11 week old today and that is just heartbreaking for that mom and family. But it does NOT mean that will happen to us or our children. I cry over many things these days, it's a super hormonal and sensitive time waiting to birth, and something of that magnitude of course hits on an even deeper level, just reading about the reality of such suffering.


And Fern, how scary for your friend. Hope that little one and mom recover completely very soon. And not the most peaceful labor and birth to happen to someone close to you when you are this close yourself! Just remind yourself, if it's freaking you out, that it is no indication of how your labor and birth will go.


Jess, double congrats are in order! Yeesh, does that mean I could be a grandma in 6 years?? How old is your son? I am already freaking out a bit with my daughter turning 12 in a few months.


Alethia, I've also thought about using the 42 week mark as due date.. good idea.


Flavor, can't wait to read the birth story. Glad it's all gone so well for you!


Rik, don't feel too bad if your DH won't cooperate. In 3 prior pg we DTD at the end in hopes of jump starting labor and nada, so this time around I'm just gonna forgo it. Also things like walking (though it does ramp up my ctx but just tires me out and never has got my labor to start) herbal teas, spicy food etc. never worked for me. I've also been losing plug for 2 weeks, in bits, and still pregnant lol. Now I think more it's just when the mom/baby combo is ready. Also trying to settle the middle name. Just when I think we've almost got it, it doesn't seem quite right! With DD2, the day we found her middle name, I went into labor that night! So maybe you just need the name to be ready.


Tulafina, I think I have also been experiencing SPD and sciatica. I have just alluded to it as my leg/hip/pelvic/pubic bone pain/ burning thus far. Haven't put a name to it all, but it's gotten ridiculous all the different pains from the hips down. Sometimes pressure like my pubic bone is going to crack in half. Also restless legs, especially on the side where most of the pain is concentrated has gotten out of control at night. Can't wait to feel better..


Jenny, saving the juicy for last! Exciting for you! ELV! And hope this is it for ya. I too have forgotten how labor can just START lol. With DD2 I had gotten all ready for bed, in jammies, tired, commented to DH  that oh well the baby wasn't coming that day. Had a last pee and my water broke out of the blue! Was I surprised! DH was already asleep so I had to call him into the bathroom and wake him up lol. I suppose I get so resigned to being pregnant forever, at the end, when it seems stuff is happening and then doesn't for weeks, that I get kind of shocked when it actually happens. Oh yea, you mean there's actually a reason for all this??  

post #40 of 112

Hey all.  I haven't read through all the posts, but I wanted to drop in quickly to say that we had our baby boy this morning at 9:23 am, at home, in the water. He's perfect.  I'll come back after I have a nap and tell you all about it. Right now I'm going to go love on my little man.

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