I had no idea what to put as a title. Mods, please don't move this. A lot of this has to do with my own personal growth, so while it could go in other places, I'd like it here. Thanks.
I'm expecting my third child in September. I'll be 22. I have two existing children, 2 and 4. My other two were planned, this one was not. I have been struggling a great deal with that, but I think it has finally sank in and I have come to peace with it. I don't feel very "connected" to this baby, but I do hope that will change (and I'm sure it will).
We've recently had financial troubles. I was looking for bankruptcy attorneys and spoke with a few but haven't found one I like enough to keep going with. I was laid off in February, but my job took me back last month because I opened up my availability (I had initially not wanted my children being watched by my MIL, but I bit the bullet).
I work in a mostly seasonal position for a souvenir photography company. The promotion would eliminate the "seasonal" aspect of it, and I'd be able to work year round, full time. Since *my* manager is leaving next year for grad school, he has said I'm in line to take his place. He makes even more money. Before the promotion, my plan was to just leave before I had the baby, which was right at the end of the season. It worked out perfectly. I had plans to save a little money to go back to work as a CNA after about 9 months- which I am trained as.
Now, with this promotion, I will make the same if not more than I would at a CNA job, doing something I love, with people I enjoy working with (as opposed to sickness and death and sadness, and possibly neglect of patients by others). The promotion I'd possibly be up for next year would make the CNA job look like pocket change.
Here's the thing... I won't be able to take very much time off after having the baby. Literally, 6 weeks maternity leave, and that's it. I really wanted to breastfeed this baby. I mean, I still can. My body doesn't respond to a pump, I don't know of any place feasible that my job can accommodate for me to pump anyhow, and if pumping just doesn't work for me, I'd hate to make them go through the hassle (even though it is the law in Illinois). I'm going to have to nurse when I'm with the baby, and formula feed when away from the baby. My mother in law would be watching my children (though I may put my middle child in daycare, so I'm not sure about all of the logistics), and I trust her much more with formula than I do with breast milk storage and handling. I'm just having a hard time getting past the not being able to exclusively breastfeed.
The job I currently have will also allow me to space my days so that I'll be able to go to school. I would really, really love that. If I worked as a CNA I'd be on a rotational schedule and wouldn't have set days to go to school. I'd also be stuck working the night shift in most cases, which I really, really do not want.
I *need* to work during the winter. We could barely afford our utility bills last time around! We had to pay them off with our tax refund, and I'm still a little bit behind but nothing major.
Anyone want to give outside perspective?