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The BSL Graduate/Stalking Thread Spring/Summer 2012 - Page 2

post #21 of 247

I love all the adorable baby pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  - BSL babies really are inspirations and maybe they can offer hope to other women who have tired for a really long time.

 

Sweetest - Thanks for being so open about your births and VBAC.  More than likely I'll be having to make that choice eventually and it's nice to hear other women talk about their experiences.  I hope everything works out perfectly for you either way.

 

Miriam - Your girls are just beautiful.  I can totally see why you would want to change pediatricians.  It does sound like she not listening.  There are differences between breastfeeding and formula.  I'm fortunate that I never had any issues with my pediatrician.  When I was trying to breastfeed he was encouraging and told me all the things that might affect a breastfeed baby.  When I didn't have enough milk and changed to formula he focused more on that.  

 

It's never easy when your babies have to get stuck :(.  (but at least at 6 and 9 months they won't remember and use it against when they're teenagers).  By 9 months I'll bet they'll be ready for a little "real" food supplement and things will work out.  If the babies are growing right, meeting all their milestones and not showing any signs of malnutrition I really don't understand why the doctor would be so "pushy."

post #22 of 247

Alright, I've been absent from here, I know, but I have popped in from time to time to read and feel happy for old friends. I'm just being one of those irritating friends who stops by just to unload about her own life. But as much as I enjoy reading about how things are going with all of you, I figured you wouldn't mind a random pop in from me. I've got so many thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head and no one would understand as you former BSLs would. 

I'm sorry to see that the BSL proper has died. Sad to see. But I suppose there are other places here for similar struggles. 

4.5 months into motherhood the second time around (though this time with three babies) and I am in heaven. BABY HEAVEN. It's overwhelming - all the fuzzy sweet-smelling softness that's around me all the time. There's always a baby that is on my chest/neck/arms, or curled up to me at night. That maybe sounds annoying to some (it would have to me before having them), but it is heavenly. They are super chill babies and cry basically only when something is wrong. I don't tell people when they ask how fantastic everything is, because I don't want people thinking I'm either faking it, or trying to act like super-mom, or whatever. So I just nod when they say ‘you must have your hands full, must be tough.’ It's just weird. The first time around, with dd1, I was exhausted and freaked out about motherhood. She was an oops pregnancy, so maybe that had something to do with it. I just wasn’t prepared. Also, she was more challenging in some ways (hard to get to sleep, wouldn't sleep in the stroller, etc.). This time, I've gotten tons of sleep from the very first day (pumping milk plus supplementing with formula -- dad takes half the night and i take half so we each get 6 hours straight of sleep plus a nap during the day), and got lucky with two pretty chill babies (the boys) and one VERY chill baby (the girl will let you know she's tired by putting her little fist to her eye; then you put her in her bed, she smiles, shuts her eyes, and is fast asleep in LITERALLY 10 seconds. Never seen anything like it. It's kind of freaking me out). They are goofy, happy, and are just starting to interact. It's so much fun. I'm so wildly happy I could burst. 

Ok, it's not all roses though. Yes, it feels crappy when two or three babies need me at once and I have to decide whose needs come first. And it's super crappy when I have all four kids on my own, as my daughter, who is 3 years old, always comes second (or third, or fourth, as the case may be). That doesn't happen too often, though, as when she has a cold and has to stay home from daycare, I usually find some back up (awesome mother-in-law or a neighbor). 

But mostly, I just can’t believe my luck. I just can’t believe it. After a year-and-a-half of unexplained infertility to be blessed with three perfect babies at the same time is just insane. Just insane. I sometimes feel like it’s almost sick, how unfair life is. Of course now that I have these three, I couldn’t imagine it any different, but when I think about two of my best friends who are struggling with infertility and here I am with four amazing kids, it just feels so sick and unfair.

All our friends who knew that we were TTC, and even starting with the long adoption process, assume that we did some sort of fertility treatment. For a long time, I couldn’t figure out why that bothered me – I was always quick to point out that identical twins aren’t caused by fertility treatments and that fraternal twins run in my family (I conceived fraternal twins and then one of them split into identical; this is the most common form on spontaneous triplet pregnancy) – after all, I don’t have anything against fertility treatments and who cares how we conceived our babies, right? But I realized that the reason it bothers me is because it undermines the whole miraculous, utterly ironic situation. The praying-so-hard-for-a-baby-that-we-got-three thing. I’m still just so flabbergasted that we conceived triplets, let alone after a long spell of trying and failing; if we had done ivf or clomid or something, then it wouldn’t be quite as surprising and shocking, you know?

So, I got my period 3 weeks after delivering the babies. Same thing happened with my dd1, and I assumed at the time that I was little miss fertility. HA HA. I spent 5 years with a long-term boyfriend practicing what I thought was NFP (I pretty much tried not to have sex for a couple days two weeks after my period ended), but it wasn’t until I experienced infertility that I learned what my cycles really look like and realized that I didn’t get pregnant those years out of sheer luck and most likely some still-unexplained fertility issues. Now, it’s a relief to not have an immensely sad day when I get my period. In fact, I see spotting and don’t even blink. This, after like 20 cycles of crying my eyes out at the first sign of AF.

Now I’m not sure what to do about contraception. The only thing more ironic than conceiving triplets after infertility would be to get pregnant again right away…and we’re pretty content with the amount of kids we have now, thank you very much. What are you all doing for contraception? I don’t like the pill. Maybe dh will have a vasectomy. We’ll see.

Ok, long ramble coming to a close now. Thank you for listening. I don’t want to post about how amazing everything is over at the multiples forum because that can be annoying to folks who are struggling with twins or more. We have our struggles too. Everyone’s experience is valid. P1020875.JPG

post #23 of 247

Emaya

They are beautiful!  They all look a bit different; I am trying to decide who the identical are.  I am sad about the demise of the BSL too, but happy to see many over on this side.  Yeah to baby heaven.  You deserve your happiness.  I think you can shout it to the world if you want.  I love your whole ironic spontaneous triplet story and I understand how you would want it kept pure somehow.  Keep giving us photos of those lovely babies.  Take care.

post #24 of 247

Thank you CA Country Girl! Very sweet. Here's a photo of just the boys -- we can't tell them apart. But they have different personalities (of course), and one spends all day grinning like a big goof while the other one spends all day "talking" with a furrowed brow (I think he's trying to tell me it was way crowded in my belly and he kept getting kicked and he didn't appreciate it). So they'll be developing massively different facial muscles I imagine and look quite different soon. I hope.

 

P1020845(1).jpg

post #25 of 247
Thread Starter 
Emaya - They are so cute! I'm glad things are going so well for you guys. I wouldn't feel bad about things being easy for you right now. I'm sure at some point or another, they'll give you a run for your money! And I understand wanting people to know that you didn't use fertility treatments, especially with multiples. I feel the same way, and mine is just a singleton. Not because I have anything at all against fertility treatments, like you said - I DID a round of fertility treatments, and definitely would have considered more had we not been broke. But it does seem to negate the miracle of our bodies finally deciding to work on their own! Anyway, thanks for checking in!

sweetest - Baby yet? I'm pretty sure you said you'd have a scheduled c-section if you hadn't gone into labor by now. I may go stalk you to see if you've said anything anywhere else!

Everybody else - Drop by and let us know how you're doing when you have a chance. Looks like many of you are forging bravely ahead into the third trimester. We're going to have another crop of babies here in no time!

AFM, almost 26 weeks and excited that the last month has been so good for me. I love being able to eat pretty much whatever I want, and I'm relishing being able to eat reasonable quantities of food while I still can. And I may or may not have single-handedly downed a pint of ice cream the other night. bag.gif.
post #26 of 247
So glad to see your happy update, Emaya!

N is about 2.5 months now. He's smiling a lot, and he'll press his feet on the floor now if I hold him in a standing position. A couple of weeks ago he found his hands, and now loves to enthusiastically eat them. I'll have to come back later with a picture, as I have been lazy about taking them recently.
post #27 of 247

Holy moly, Emaya! I totally somehow missed that you had triplets! They are so amazing!

post #28 of 247

(crossposted to IF grads)

Is anyone else doing the Arm's Reach cosleeper contest? If you have the time I'd love some votes to help me out :) None of my friends are being able to vote with newly registered accounts so bleh! Here's the start of my 5 photos: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1351988/faces-of-mothering-contest/320#post_16974146

If you're participating, let me know I'll vote for you as well.

post #29 of 247

I can't believe I did not realize this thread had been created... even though I had actually read some of it but not posted a long time ago.

 

It was so nice to hear from you all and to see all those cute babies! It has been so long since we "talked," many of us almost daily.

 

We just toured the hospital today and I am feeling pretty upset. Without going into too much detail, I realized I have a huge problem with feeling like other people or their rules are trying to control me. (We cannot afford a home birth, which would be my first choice, so we will be going to the most natural hospital in the area. It is just that I did not feel at all comfortable there.) Having sat here pondering how much I do not want to give birth at this hospital, I realized that this whole thing has caused me to relive some of the old feelings of complete powerlessness, which I had during the years of infertility. Now that we will finally have another child (I am 34 weeks now), I seem to be extra sensitive to anyone trying to take away from my pregnancy in any way. Due to this, the idea of this hospital and some of its policies seem impossible to deal with. Similarly, even though we know the sex of the baby, I have not been willing to share that with certain people. Anyone else had any trouble due to the past infertility?

post #30 of 247
I'm sorry you feel so powerless, LTB. Do you at least feel comfortable with your doctor or midwife? I found that to be a lot more important than the hospital itself.

Ok, I promised I'd come back with a pic.

23.jpg
post #31 of 247

LTB- I have similar frustrations about a hospital birth, especially since the midwives/doctors are on rotation and I have no idea who will actually be there when I deliver.  It sucks that home birth is more expensive than hospital birth; it seems wrong.  One of the things that I am probably going to do to help is bring a (professional) doula to support me.  She will be a constant and am I hoping that she will be able play some interference with hospital staff for me and my DH.  The ones I talked to said they can not tell staff my decisions, but can help me figure out what the choices really are throughout and just make the whole process more true to the birth that we are hoping for.  Some of them do massage, aromatherapy, and other special techniques to help and usually there are very affordable doulas available.  Some in training even do it for no cost.

 

Kyamo- what a sweet face!

post #32 of 247

So good to see some action here! Kyamo, that is a beautiful boy with a knowing, clear-eyed look to him! And what a sweet tuft of hair. I bet he'll have white blond hair by next summer like most of these Swedish kids running around here. My dd had very dark hair - and lots of it when she was born - but she still turned white-blonde by her first birthday. They say you're born with the color hair you will eventually have as a grown-up -- was true for me: dishwater blonde.

 

Congratulations on 27 weeks, Monkey! I attribute all those pints of ice cream to my babies fabulous birth weights (ice cream, and not any ice cream but super expensive fancy brands, was the only "junk food" I could stomach during my pregnancy, weirdly enough. I think my body just knew I had to fill up on whole grain everything, tons of protein, and pounds and pounds of kale, swiss chard, and blueberries were my very strange cravings), so eat up! 

 

LTB, I had huge issues with how to give birth. It occupied me constantly through my last trimester. I think that infertility affects us in many ways, and one way might be the thought "this could be my last birth" and wanting to do it right. I researched natural triplet birth up and down and all around and bombarded my specialists with studies, and even got an ok for a trial of natural birth, even though it hadn't been done in this country for 30 years (besides a couple oops ones where labor happened so fast that c-section wasn't possible). But then baby A turned breech. Let us know what you find and what you decide. 

 

Great on the doubla, CountryGirl - I have friends who have just loved having a doula and it's made all the difference in their hospital births. I'm not sure doulas are so common in LTB's and my part of the world -- I haven't heard of any here. LTB?

 

Just after I wrote how awesome everything was, my babies got a cold and quite high fevers over the course of 2 days. WOW was that horrible. That was the first time I really felt there wasn't enough of me to parent the way I want to. They all wanted to be held all of the time; I was alone on day 1, and held two babies all day while the third one whimpered in bed, then switched off one baby at a time every hour or so. It was so sad (and very sad for my back!) and I cried a bit too. On day two, my mother-in-law could come and help (my husband had crazy deadlines at work) and thank goodness, Emmeline was fine by then and sitting around chuckling in the way she does so we could carry the boys all day. Now things are back to normal, but it was a wake-up call, wow, that things can go pear-shaped really fast. 

 

I hope folks will continue to update. I think that having a baby after infertility is very special and it's a special bond between women too.

post #33 of 247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaya View Post

Great on the doubla, CountryGirl - I have friends who have just loved having a doula and it's made all the difference in their hospital births. I'm not sure doulas are so common in LTB's and my part of the world -- I haven't heard of any here. LTB?

 

There are actually plenty of doulas here but, to be honest, I really don't want one. I have cheered up, however, since my last message, after a wonderful e-mail from my midwife. The system here is such that we go to a local nurse for check ups and then give birth with a midwife that just happens to be on duty. However, I am actually getting around this dumb system by paying a specific (great) midwife to be on call for me. She will come and be with me at her own work place, whether she is actually working right then or not. I trust her very much, so it should be just fine. Since I am not crazy about the hospital (though I will most likely give birth at the most natural birthing unit in the whole country), I will just try to not go there too early. Thankfully my due date is in the middle of summer, so I might be able to go to the hospital early enough to avoid a terrible 20 mins in the car, but not go inside the hospital until hours later... Something like that.  

post #34 of 247
Emaya, did you get sick too? DH, N, and I all got a cold when he was about 3 weeks. That was the hardest time I've had so far, caring for a baby while being sick myself. Can't imagine doing it with three.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaya View Post

So good to see some action here! Kyamo, that is a beautiful boy with a knowing, clear-eyed look to him! And what a sweet tuft of hair. I bet he'll have white blond hair by next summer like most of these Swedish kids running around here. My dd had very dark hair - and lots of it when she was born - but she still turned white-blonde by her first birthday. They say you're born with the color hair you will eventually have as a grown-up -- was true for me: dishwater blonde.

Interesting. Not true for me though. I was born with black hair, it fell out and grew back in nearly white, which gradually darkened throughout childhood to the dark blonde I have now. N was born with dark blonde hair nearly the same colour as mine is now. He has several big bald patches now and wherever he puts his head gets hairy, we’ll see what he gets next once this finishes falling out.
post #35 of 247

Hi Ladies.  LTB- glad to hear that your midwife will be there for you.  I think we are both getting pretty close now- exciting and anxiety producing at the same time.   Emaya- I am glad the family is all feeling better.  Any sick kid is hard; I am sure three was a huge job.  Kyamo (and Emaya)- my daughter's hair was very dark at birth, lightened up a bit in toddlerhood and is now pretty dark again.  Mine did the same.  Hers also took awhile to get its curl.  Mine is just wavy, but my husband is biracial (African American and Jewish) and has quite curl hair.  Her wispy baby hair had very little curl, but before two it curled up.  We are really curious if the next one will have similar hair.  One of my DD's big questions is whether the baby will look like her and as both DH and I have very diverse gene pools, we really have no clue how alike our kids will look.  Wissa, Monkey, Kparker- hello and I hope all is well.

AFM- Nothing much to report.  I swam for 40 minutes today and I have been walking my dogs for 20-30 minutes a day.  I am trying to keep moving even though my hips and feet hurt now. I took my wedding rings off, which feels weird, but I have been swelling a bit on hot days and did not want to wait until they got stuck.  Hugs to you all.

post #36 of 247

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Edited by miriam_bat_avraham - 4/20/13 at 9:26pm
post #37 of 247

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Edited by miriam_bat_avraham - 4/20/13 at 9:26pm
post #38 of 247

I haven't been around in awhile. The children are keeping me busy. :)

 

I love all the photos. Such cute babies!

 

Emaya, regarding periods... I'm feeling kind of weird wondering about birth control, too. The thing is we think we're done at 2 children. It's just so expensive to live where we do, plus we don't want to be outnumbered. orngtongue.gif I had postpartum bleeding for about 2 months, then had my first period just a couple of weeks ago (baby girl is 4 months old). She is exclusively breastfed and eats like crazy, so I have no idea how that happened. Did you decide what form of birth control you will be doing? I'd like to avoid anything hormonal until she is done breastfeeding.

 

For the hair survey... Our son was born with darkish blond hair, but it fell out and was white-blond by about 6 months, as it still is (3 years old). Our daughter was born with much more hair and a bit darker than her brother. It seems to be falling out more slowly. There is some light blonde hair underneath, but who knows if that is her new hair color. I think it will be awhile before we see. She still has tons of cradle cap, too.

 

As for the little girl, she is very cute but also very stubborn and particular when it comes to what she wants. A real princess. :) She only sleeps curled up next to me in bed or in her Ergo -- besides that one freak incident where she napped for like an hour on her own, allowing me to get some actual cleaning done. She has started smiling and laughing and babbling, and she can roll both ways (from back to tummy and tummy to back), which means I need to keep a close eye on her so that she does not roll off her sheep island!

 

Looking forward to more babies soon from everyone here.

post #39 of 247

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Edited by miriam_bat_avraham - 4/20/13 at 9:25pm
post #40 of 247
Blast from the past! Oh my goodness, so glad to see you ladies are still here! Oh how I've missed you! And how did all these babies get so big?! It happened over night! I have been terrible at keeping up with everyone, I just keep up with Liz via FB. If any of you are on, please feel free to friend me, as I'm a much better FB friend than MDC buddy :/ (DamarisClaude) It really makes me feel good to see all the smiling pics, and to see how our TTC journeys all brought us here. There were lots of tears, but lots of smiles too!

Anyway, I will be visiting more frequently, I promise!

My boys ( the two smallest) are now 14 months old, can you believe it?! They're growing like weeds, and happy to say we are still nursing smile.gif here is a family pic, sorry, on my iPad, so no other way to post :/

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150872349908886&l=7823c43e83


They come to the office with me every day, and my clients love them, win-win!

My eldest is now 8 and we are starting virtual school this coming year, we are gonna have some fun smile.gif

Oh and did I mention I just found out I'm preggo with number 4????? Completely unexpected miracle after the nightmare of fertility treatments we had to endure with Tristan and Cael, but feeling blessed. I think I'm 11 weeks, but not sure. I literally had no idea I was pregnant until Wednesday when I realized I hadn't had AF since MARCH! After 2 digis and 6 Answers, I figured there was no denying, especially since the test line was so much darker than the control Lol Still cautiously optimistic, going in for an ultrasound tomorrow to make sure we have a sticky bean. No bleeding spotting cramping, but 0 symptoms and that's scary greensad.gif both pregnancies with my boys, i was sick from weeks 8-16!! After a loss, you get completely jaded with this pregnancy experience, no?

Anyway, glad to see you all again, I'm going back to stalk some other people now- keep posting cute baby pics please!!
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