The BSL Graduate/Stalking Thread Spring/Summer 2012 - Page 5

[Emaya]

Oh my goodness!!! Such amazing news all around. A little Juniper (I just ADORE that name but pushed for it a little half-heartedly -- we had already decided on Forest for one of our boys, and my partner thought that another "nature" name was too crunchy. How can you have too many names from nature?) for CACG and a baby boy after a beautiful labor for LTB. LTB, I've followed your story for about two years now, and it's been such an amazing thing to read your thoughts and feelings -- through being just sure in your bones that another child wasn't in your fate, to trying to decide whether to have testing done, to seeking to do what you feel God means for you to do -- mothering and nurturing -- through fostering, to your sudden bfp. It's been such an honor to follow you through it all. I'm just so happy for you and your family. 

Looking forward to hearing about Monkey's birth in the next six weeks or so... like Tear says, you can get a thing or two AFTER the birth. That didn't occur to me either the first time around. 

Sorry to hear about Grandma souring an already difficult situation, Kinza. Send her home if you can. The help she can offer won't be worth the heartache she's causing. I'm glad to hear your little girls are doing well!

kparker, I don't know - I'd say it's a case of someone hurting really badly, and not being able to see how others may be able to relate. Chalk it up to that he's suffering too much, and turn the other cheek. If you don't respond at all, then you don't risk coming off sounding defensive or small. If you want to remain on that board, everyone will understand your silence and think more of you for it.

AFM, I'm still keeping to my going to bed at 7:30 schedule so I can get 6-7 hours straight sleep before taking the morning shift, but I'm getting mighty bored of it. Means I don't have any time with just husband. Stayed up a little bit later to watch Madmen (online) last night and got thoroughly punished for it with one kid or another awake since 2:45 a.m., including my 3-year-old. Everyone says "it goes so fast" and I put that wistful look on my face like I'm supposed to, but inside I'm saying "yeah, thank GOD." But really, I am enjoying myself, y'all just caught me on a rough morning (5:42 a.m. on a rough morning). The two new babies born into homes that wanted them sooooooo much (and the two big kids who FINALLY got little siblings!), have cheered me up. My little miracles need their breakfast now.

[kparker]

I replied in a "sorry" kinda way, stating I didn't feel like my years of pain should be invalidated and that I was only sympathizing with the pain he was going through, although in a lesser extent. I tried to make it nice, I hope it doesn't upset him, but he was rather snippy to me so I was taken aback at first. I totally get the pain and suffering, you know? Gosh, a lot of us know. I mean, this is a grad thread (thank goodness) but we still suffered, and a lot of us have had losses, and might still have losses (heaven forbid) so it ain't over 'til it's over.

That "forum" I will probably be unsubbing from anyway; it's kinda like once you do succeed you get treated much more poorly than if you just never succeeded at all, I've noticed. There is little to no bonding over circumstance like we have achieved here. PS: I love you guys.

[Kyamo]

YAY! Congratulations Kinza and LTB and CACG! Welcome four new little ones!

N is 4.5 months and rolled from back to tummy this morning, he can't do tummy to back yet.


Edited by Kyamo - 7/4/12 at 6:50am

[ISISandOSIRIS]

I don't think any of you will remember me but I hung around BSL for a minute last summer. I stopped coming around bc it often became too painful for me to focus on ttc. I'm happy to say that after nearly 3 years of absolutely nothing, I'm finally knocked up I'm only 7 weeks, so I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll finally have a LO. After going back and forth between adoption and IVF, DH and I were going to try the IVF route this summer when I surprisingly became pregnant. It's been a long road and just hoping for a healthy, sticky baby.

Congrats to the other mamas!

[CA Country Girl]

Congratulations Isis and Osiris!  I understand that it is sometimes just to much to hear about anyone's success, but the BSL's have been such a strength for me.  Kparker- it is really his pain talking and you are wonderful for trying to be supportive.  We love you too.  So I am X-posting Juniper's first pics.  Kyamo- cute naked baby!

Up top:  My beautiful daughters.

Below:  Morning- just over 24 hours old.

[Emaya]

Thank you for the pictures, Kyamo and CACG! Kyamo, he's a spry little guy, rolling over from back to tummy -- isn't that the hard one? And tummy to back the easier one? Maybe he doesn't want to bother with the easy stuff. I'm so glad that the weather is finally warm here so I can have my babies nekid most of the day. Nothing like a naked babe. CACG, your daughters are beautiful. So much hair on Juniper! And straight. 

ISIS, I remember you. I remember thinking you were a great addition to the BSLs with your clear and thoughtful "voice." I'm so glad for you! After 3 years of trying, you must be in the twilight zone right now. I remember the feeling of being 7 weeks pregnant after 1.5 years of trying and having to pinch myself every morning. 

After yesterday morning's craziness, the kids all managed to get on the same schedule and slept, TOGETHER, for 3 hours during their first nap and 2 hours for their second nap. Then, they lay happily on their blanket all afternoon/evening while we had a lazy July 4th barbeque. Amazing day. Living in Sweden, we get 490 days paid (80%) maternity/paternity leave for one child, and 180 days extra for each multiple. I was planning on only taking a year off anyway (I love my job, and we have wonderful, quality, and inexpensive daycare right around the corner from our home), but if I have a few more days like yesterday, I might take two years off!

Here's my daughter playing with "her" babies yesterday.

[monkeyscience]

So many cute little ones! And HOLY HAIR, CACG! Are you sure she's only 24 hours old in that picture?!? I was soooo bald as a baby. But MIL says her kids all had hair, so maybe this baby has a chance.

Emaya - Glad your day got better!

ISIS - Welcome back!! How exciting to have a surprise free baby!! Let me know when/if you want me to add you to the roster, and what you'd like it to say. Hoping for your baby to just keep growing and sticking!

AFM, umm, ladies, how did I make it to the top of the roster?? I was already at the top of the IF One Thread grads list, now I'm on top here. Sheesh! Definitely going to have to get going on that baby organizing stuff next week. This week is a little busy already, between a mw visit, starting birth classes, and co-hosting a baby shower for a friend in the next two days. Anyway, onward!!

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

So many cute little ones! And HOLY HAIR, CACG! Are you sure she's only 24 hours old in that picture?!? I was soooo bald as a baby. But MIL says her kids all had hair, so maybe this baby has a chance.

I hear you... My husband has very thick hair, I have very fine Scandinavian hair. Guess which both our kids have...! I really would have thought that darker, thick hair would be the dominant trait, but both our kids have fine, blonde hair, and not very much of it. Very strange!

[CA Country Girl]

Hi ladies.  Hope all is well.

Our whole family has also commented on the hair.  DD1 was born with hair (and has very thick hair now as a 6 year old), but this little gal is much hairier.  Both DH and I have tons of hair.  When we first got together, his mom's favorite joke was that our kids would have so much hair, they would not be able to walk through doors like OJ Simpson in airplane.  Anyone remember that scene?  Though DH has the true kink, DD1's hair is somewhere between curly and wavy and did not start to curl much until 10 months or so.  We will see what texture this little lady ends up having.  Right now it looks most like the thick, coarse hair my southern European/Mediterranean mom had.  

On other fronts- first few days have gone well.  My milk came in last night, so hopefully she will be happier now.  It is hard to watch see them hungry. We are all so in love with her.  My DH is so doting and dedicated, it makes me love him even more.  It is so wonderful to have a new baby in the house again after trying for so long.  I know you BSL ladies can relate to that.

[Milk8shake]

  It's amazing what you find when you have some spare stalking time up your sleeve.  

Congrats on all the little cuties... 

[kparker]

Ha Milk.

So I just got chewed out by a woman on a diff forum because I was ragging on a friend of mine who continued to chain smoke and booze up while pregnant (and fully intended to give it up for adoption from day 1, too, so a bit more irritating).  Since when is it okay to chain smoke and booze up when gestating any baby, let alone someone else's? Must've missed that memo.

[CA Country Girl]

Complete birth story posted if anyone is interested: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1357543/my-long-desired-2nd-birth

Milk-I think about you frequently.  Your strength and your humor is inspiring.

[LessTraveledBy]

Milk.... I often think about you and hope for you. You are brave for coming here... I hardly could before and I had not had to go through what you have... A big hug from Northern Europe.

I wrote my whole birth story a couple of days ago... and then my computer crashed. (Not usual.) I was so sad and mad about it that I almost cried. I will write it again, soon.

I would like to know if and how the past years have affected your early weeks with your baby... Late in pregnancy I told people that I was doing great and had no complaints about anything, I was just so grateful to get to do all this another time. I went to give birth with a smile on my lips and laughed throughout labor until the very last 1-1.5 hours. Same thing the first couple of days: just thankfulness. However, I cry very easily due to all the hormones and about a week in I started to get back the old feelings... You know... I don't want this to be the last time! I want to be pregnant and give birth and adore a baby again... I am 35 now, and now that we were finally blessed with this little guy, my body no longer feels so old and dysfunctional. Yet, I am afraid.... The emotions are just so big to try to deal with. I feel strongly about a baby's right to be the baby and to get to nurse for the first two years. Thus we will not start trying for another one for quite some time. Yet... Maybe I thought that the wounds were healed by holding this little guy but now understand that the scars will always be there. I doubt that pregnancy (someone else's or mine) will ever be a neutral topic for me. The "problem" is that I think I am one of those women who will never feel truly done. I can accept it, if I must, that this is it for us. I can always put it in the perspective of how lucky we are to have the kids we have. I AM so grateful that our dd now has the sibling she had so hoped for. Yet, it would not be easy and would need another round of mental work if things went like they did in the past and we again could not conceive. I think I will keep hoping almost another 10 years, unless my body gives me signs that it is not well enough any more for this sort of thing. I would just so like another one or two before I am too old. 

Anyone else struggling with the ghosts from the past while enjoying the person you had waited for for so long?

[lavatea]

I'm getting extremely frustrated with somehow missing my notification e-mails from this thread. I was thinking of you ladies and wondered if LTB and had her baby, and holy cow! I missed the baby fest. So here I am, late to the party.

Originally Posted by Kinza 

My babies were born June 19 at 34 was 4 days. Both girls are doing great, and are in NICU until they can regulate temps and coordinate feeding movements. A. G. was 4 lb 14 oz and M. R. was 4 lb 10 oz at birth. They were delivered vaginally, with baby b footling breech. Birth went well, but they took the babies to the nursery with plans for us to follow. I hemorrhaged and just got to see them today for the first time. So breast feeding got off to a rocky start, but both babies managed to get colostrum straight from me today, which pretty much rocked. I'm pumping now and will try nursing again in an hour or so. So, well, I love them. That's pretty much it.

So glad to see your babies are OK. And YAY! for a vag twin+breech birth. Congrats on picking a rockin' hospital that would "let" you, too! Hope nursing is going well now.

Originally Posted by CA Country Girl 

Hi ladies. Our little Juniper Lee was born this morning at 1:01am. Full Moon baby. She was almost a week post Due date. Birth was very fast and intense. Less than 4 hours in hospital after nearly a week of prodormal (pre-labor). Sometimes called "false", but what a crock that is. I had several nights when contractions kept me up all night. She was 7lbs10-nearly 2 lbs more than dd1. I got my intervention free (except penicillin for GBS) birth- no pit, no pain meds. Midwife, nurses, doula, sis, and hubby were fantastic. Will post pics soon. Now, I am exhausted.

Yeah, nothing "false" about it. I went through that this last time. I almost would have rathered chewed my arm off than go through that. Next time I want a more traditional labor, if you please.

Originally Posted by Kinza 

Congrats, CACG! Enjoy your baby girl!
Fingers crossed that LTB is doing well.
Not much longer now, monkey!
AFM, I have one baby at home with me, since Sunday, and our other little girl should be home tomorrow. They are two weeks today, and I would really like to get on with the bonding, but so far we have a grandmother who bullies her way in and is so disappointed in this experience, because being a grandmother is just not what she thought it would be. I don't know what experience she wants to take away from the NICU, with all it's rules. I didnt even get to see my babies until they were a day old, and couldn't hold them until two days later. Anyway, she's sucking up the happy, spitting it out, and dancing the horn pipe on it. Blah. I feel better for getting that out.

Sorry to hear the grandma was acting out like that. My mom can be a bit "all about me" sometimes, though not that bad. And then MIL can be that way (but more of a not paying enough attention), too. I hope this situation has resolved and it was just a reaction to NICU and not an indicator of her grandparenting.

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

Our little boy was born on Saturday, after an absolutely amazing labor. Will be back to write more some time later. He needs to be held basically the whole time and nursed about 98% of it. I like a baby who knows he needs to be with momma.

(Julie, thank you. You made me cry... in a good way.)

Yay, yay, yay! So glad it's finally happened for you, LTB.

Originally Posted by kparker 

Okay I'll double post because I am actually confused here. So I also frequent another infertility board elsewhere and some dude was posting about how he and his wife will never have kids for X reasons and he's depressed about it. I posted stating I sympathized because I'd suffered for many years before finally getting lucky, and he replied that I had no right to be posting because I will never understand the grief and finality of it all. I was taken a back, because well yes, I am currently pregnant and (knock on wood) will get a viable child out of this, but that doesn't invalidate the years of pain and suffering I went through, does it?


I am just not sure how to react to that. I reacted a bit rudely because I was just trying to sympathize with how much that sucks, and I felt like I didn't deserve that statement. I went back and reworded it to be more polite but I'm just :\

Ugh. Had to comment, but not much to say other than that. As if finally succeeding somehow negates the process...

Originally Posted by kparker 

I replied in a "sorry" kinda way, stating I didn't feel like my years of pain should be invalidated and that I was only sympathizing with the pain he was going through, although in a lesser extent. I tried to make it nice, I hope it doesn't upset him, but he was rather snippy to me so I was taken aback at first. I totally get the pain and suffering, you know? Gosh, a lot of us know. I mean, this is a grad thread (thank goodness) but we still suffered, and a lot of us have had losses, and might still have losses (heaven forbid) so it ain't over 'til it's over.

That "forum" I will probably be unsubbing from anyway; it's kinda like once you do succeed you get treated much more poorly than if you just never succeeded at all, I've noticed. There is little to no bonding over circumstance like we have achieved here. PS: I love you guys.

I love you guys, too! So grateful for the bond we've forged. Wish I had more friends like you "in real life".

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

YAY! Congratulations Kinza and LTB and CACG! Welcome four new little ones!
N is 4.5 months and rolled from back to tummy this morning, he can't do tummy to back yet.

So cute!

Originally Posted by ISISandOSIRIS 

I don't think any of you will remember me but I hung around BSL for a minute last summer. I stopped coming around bc it often became too painful for me to focus on ttc. I'm happy to say that after nearly 3 years of absolutely nothing, I'm finally knocked up I'm only 7 weeks, so I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll finally have a LO. After going back and forth between adoption and IVF, DH and I were going to try the IVF route this summer when I surprisingly became pregnant. It's been a long road and just hoping for a healthy, sticky baby.
Congrats to the other mamas!

Congrats!!

Originally Posted by CA Country Girl 

Congratulations Isis and Osiris!  I understand that it is sometimes just to much to hear about anyone's success, but the BSL's have been such a strength for me.  Kparker- it is really his pain talking and you are wonderful for trying to be supportive.  We love you too.  So I am X-posting Juniper's first pics.  Kyamo- cute naked baby!

Up top:  My beautiful daughters.
Below:  Morning- just over 24 hours old.

So sweet - I love sibling pictures!

Originally Posted by Emaya 

Thank you for the pictures, Kyamo and CACG! Kyamo, he's a spry little guy, rolling over from back to tummy -- isn't that the hard one? And tummy to back the easier one? Maybe he doesn't want to bother with the easy stuff. I'm so glad that the weather is finally warm here so I can have my babies nekid most of the day. Nothing like a naked babe. CACG, your daughters are beautiful. So much hair on Juniper! And straight. 

ISIS, I remember you. I remember thinking you were a great addition to the BSLs with your clear and thoughtful "voice." I'm so glad for you! After 3 years of trying, you must be in the twilight zone right now. I remember the feeling of being 7 weeks pregnant after 1.5 years of trying and having to pinch myself every morning. 

After yesterday morning's craziness, the kids all managed to get on the same schedule and slept, TOGETHER, for 3 hours during their first nap and 2 hours for their second nap. Then, they lay happily on their blanket all afternoon/evening while we had a lazy July 4th barbeque. Amazing day. Living in Sweden, we get 490 days paid (80%) maternity/paternity leave for one child, and 180 days extra for each multiple. I was planning on only taking a year off anyway (I love my job, and we have wonderful, quality, and inexpensive daycare right around the corner from our home), but if I have a few more days like yesterday, I might take two years off!

Here's my daughter playing with "her" babies yesterday.

He he he, my DD was like that with DS1. They're still great buddies.

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

So many cute little ones! And HOLY HAIR, CACG! Are you sure she's only 24 hours old in that picture?!? I was soooo bald as a baby. But MIL says her kids all had hair, so maybe this baby has a chance.

Emaya - Glad your day got better!

ISIS - Welcome back!! How exciting to have a surprise free baby!! Let me know when/if you want me to add you to the roster, and what you'd like it to say. Hoping for your baby to just keep growing and sticking!

AFM, umm, ladies, how did I make it to the top of the roster?? I was already at the top of the IF One Thread grads list, now I'm on top here. Sheesh! Definitely going to have to get going on that baby organizing stuff next week. This week is a little busy already, between a mw visit, starting birth classes, and co-hosting a baby shower for a friend in the next two days. Anyway, onward!!

It's amazing how quickly it goes by!

Originally Posted by kparker 

Ha Milk.

So I just got chewed out by a woman on a diff forum because I was ragging on a friend of mine who continued to chain smoke and booze up while pregnant (and fully intended to give it up for adoption from day 1, too, so a bit more irritating).  Since when is it okay to chain smoke and booze up when gestating any baby, let alone someone else's? Must've missed that memo.

Wow. No words there.

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

Milk.... I often think about you and hope for you. You are brave for coming here... I hardly could before and I had not had to go through what you have... A big hug from Northern Europe.

I wrote my whole birth story a couple of days ago... and then my computer crashed. (Not usual.) I was so sad and mad about it that I almost cried. I will write it again, soon.

I would like to know if and how the past years have affected your early weeks with your baby... Late in pregnancy I told people that I was doing great and had no complaints about anything, I was just so grateful to get to do all this another time. I went to give birth with a smile on my lips and laughed throughout labor until the very last 1-1.5 hours. Same thing the first couple of days: just thankfulness. However, I cry very easily due to all the hormones and about a week in I started to get back the old feelings... You know... I don't want this to be the last time! I want to be pregnant and give birth and adore a baby again... I am 35 now, and now that we were finally blessed with this little guy, my body no longer feels so old and dysfunctional. Yet, I am afraid.... The emotions are just so big to try to deal with. I feel strongly about a baby's right to be the baby and to get to nurse for the first two years. Thus we will not start trying for another one for quite some time. Yet... Maybe I thought that the wounds were healed by holding this little guy but now understand that the scars will always be there. I doubt that pregnancy (someone else's or mine) will ever be a neutral topic for me. The "problem" is that I think I am one of those women who will never feel truly done. I can accept it, if I must, that this is it for us. I can always put it in the perspective of how lucky we are to have the kids we have. I AM so grateful that our dd now has the sibling she had so hoped for. Yet, it would not be easy and would need another round of mental work if things went like they did in the past and we again could not conceive. I think I will keep hoping almost another 10 years, unless my body gives me signs that it is not well enough any more for this sort of thing. I would just so like another one or two before I am too old. 

Anyone else struggling with the ghosts from the past while enjoying the person you had waited for for so long?

Yes, I did quite a bit at first. I was petrified something was going to happen to him. And I still worry a bit more than I did with the other two, I think, though it has gotten better. And I'm with you thinking that I may be one of the women that never feel "done". I had that conversation with my mom a while back. My husband feels done now, unfortunately, though I have convinced him to shelve that conversation b/c I KNOW I want one but not just yet, so I don't want the fight right now.



Mr. Man will be 7 months old tomorrow, and his big sis is 8 years old today. Looking at him is like traveling back in time b/c they look so similar. I'm so blessed.

[ISISandOSIRIS]

Thank you Emaya and everyone!

Monkey- you can add me to the roster:
ISISandOSIRIS - Due with #1 Feb. 2013 after 3 years ttc.

[miriam_bat_avraham]

...

Edited by miriam_bat_avraham - 4/20/13 at 9:25pm

[LessTraveledBy]

MBA, absolutely adorable!!!

I must update... :) I had one prayer, basically, during the pregnancy: that my baby would actually sleep. Dd was over 3 years old before she would sleep a longer stretch. This little boy of mine sleeps from about 3 hours to 5 at a time, then eats and sleeps some more. The crying from the first few days ended soon after. I think he had had some tummy trouble and once he started pooping more regularly, things got much better. There is a huge difference between caring for a baby, feeling quite normal or totally sleep deprived. I know all this can change all of a sudden, after all he is only 1,5 weeks old. Yet... he is different. Dd had to have the breast in her mouth until she was deeply asleep. This guy eats and often lets go when he is done. 

I am very curious to see when my fertility (hah!!!) returns. With dd, on the breast all the time, day and night, I got my first af at 6 months pp. This time I could expect it much earlier. But, yeah... real fertility is a whole other matter. Who knows... I do wish they had found something wrong with us, so I could know a bit more what to expect.

Feeling so very blessed, again, without many thoughts about the future. I hope it stays this way for quite some time. The hormones are hard to predict. :)

[Tear78]

LTB, I'm so glad you're getting sleep and your little guy is doing well!

MBA, wow what beautiful big babies you have! well done! I hear you on suddenly having the big girls on the block. Anika took two steps today, and I can see her world opening up before her. lol...it's wonderful and terrifying.

ISISandOSIRIS, I remember you and CONGRATS!

lavatea, great to hear from you! I hear and LTB about deal with the scars of infertility and loss. I don't think that will ever leave me. I think the journey has changed me forever, and there is always worry, which I guess is normal. I also still have twinges of envy when I hear of someone getting pregnant really easily or having a natural birth. The last statement may sound someone weird given my afm, but it's true.

kparker, I'm so glad that you're doing well! I LOVE seeing your ticker move! I don't think you should let anyone diminish your hurt and your experiences. I agree with whoever said that the response you got came from a raw place and that person needed to get out some of the pain, but it does NOT lessen what you have been through and I know you were only trying to offer solace.

CACG, such beautiful little ones you have!!! thanks for sharing the pics!

Mik8, always good to hear from you my love. I'm going to go stalk up on you now, because I'm excited about your new doc.

monkey, seriously, how did you get to be so far along already? How are you feeling? All eyes on you, my dear!

Emaya, I just have to say I kneel before you. I am so impressed with how well you are doing with three babies at once. What a cute picture!

Kyamo, what an adorable pic! I agree, back to front is the harder of the two. You have a strong baby on your hands!

ok, I know I missed people but I went back to the beginning of this page. I hadn't realized how far behind I was in responding to this thread. However, I read and stalk regularly. I feel that I need to post this here because the BSL helped me through such a large part of my infertility journey. I'm pregnant. Yup, just like that. And I'm thrilled, shocked, can't wrap my head around it, and terrified at the same time. lol... With our history, DH and I are trying not to get our hopes up too high, but if you could please send sticky vibes to this little bean we would really appreciate it. It would just be more than perfect timing, and such a miracle and blessing to have our little ones so close in age and to be pregnant without really trying more than just "hey, I think I'm fertile" over the last 4-5 months. I'm trying to think positive and visualize a happy, healthy sibling for DD. I don't think it truly hit me today until I went to buy cheese sticks and realized I hadn't bought them since I needed protein during my last pregnancy. I started crying right in the dairy section. lol... Anyway, thanks for reading and I'm sending you ladies lots of love!

[monkeyscience]

Can't stay long (have to write a stupid birth plan for birth class in the morning - no, birth plans aren't stupid, I'm just tired and frustrated), but I have to say.... TEAR!!!! All the sticky vibes in the universe to you!

[Emaya]

Oh WOW Tear! Look at you, waking up one morning and saying, hmmm, maybe I'll go and get pregnant, and pow! Just like in the fairy tales (or like, in real life for basically all of our friends). Soooooo exciting! Hurray for an unexpectedly easy start to things. Monkey already sent you all the sticky vibes in the whole universe, so that's taken care of, but I'm sending you a huge high-five and a big smile on my face this morning as I read your post.

Milk, your one of the reasons I hope we can keep this graduates thread alive until every last single BSL makes it here with a child in arms. I hope you'll poke your head in as often as you feel for it. 

LTB, I'm glad your little guy is a sleeper - it's such a relief. After living with this science experiement (three siblings born at the same time, two identical and one not) for a while, I feel like I have more insight into what makes babies who they are. I like to tell all my friends who proclaim at every chance they get that they have a "great routine that has helped my baby sleep through the night at 5 weeks!" that they can stop patting themselves on the back now (or making other parents feel like they don't know what they're doing) because babies are who they are from birth (or early gestation, whatever). My identical boys sleep identically, eat identically, complain in the same tone of voice about the same things, and snuggle identically. My baby girl, despite getting the same exact treatment (I'm even careful to talk to them in the same voice so I don't use a cutsey girl voice/tougher boy voice for the babies) is a different animal entirely. It's so fascinating. So I don't doubt that you and your husband made a totally different being this time around from your daughter - and gender is just the start. 

MBA, your daughters are just gorgeous. Enjoy that pudge while it lasts, because they're on the cusp of getting really mobile and I've seen it happen over and over with friends' babies -- one moment they're all rich, buttery yumminess, and the next, it's skin-and-bones. I'm exaggerating, of course, but just eat them up with kisses now because you'll miss those thighs. And don't think I'm being size-ist against skinny babies, people -- I have had 3 of them myself and they're delicious too -- but I can't help but get enormous pleasure out of my last-born who finally got some of my family's renouned babyfat. Nothing like a chubby baby. 

Lava, I'm with you on shelving the maybe-another-one talk for now. I think it's best not to even bring it up in a serious way, though I'm sure I'm making the poor man nervous when I don't agree vehemently when he talks about getting a vasectomy or me getting my tubes tied. I think I'm done having babies. I think so. But I don't like the idea of being so final about it. I'm 35 years old. Could be, I might like to try for another in 3 or 4 years and hope for the best. After all, when you have 4 kids, what's one more? But then I think, what if it is as heartbreakingly difficult the second time? Do I want to waste another 18 months/2 years/more with that fertility obsession? Maybe it's better just to make a decision now, and not have to toy with the idea later. And on the fertility thing, I agree with you and MBA and LTB and the rest - it'll mark us for a long time (for life?).

CACgirl, I loved reading your birth story. You are a wonderful writer, and I found myself re-living my first birth through your story. So beautifully described - especially the pushing part. 

Over here, all is well, despite having the coldest, rainiest summer on record (LTB, is it like that on your side of Scandinavia as well?). Babies are beautiful and growing, and continue to be good sleepers. They interact more and more, and are starting to enjoy solids. We got sponsorship from the best baby food company -- all organic, all great stuff, actually tastes great to me too -- about $100/month in food for 6 months! That's a lot of baby food. We've learned to not be shy about asking for discounts now that we've got triplets. It's shameless, but actually, a lot of people - both from companies and private folks selling second-hand like to help. 

I'm excited because an old friend is here visiting from home, and we're going to spend one night and two half-days baby-free! It'll be my first night away from my babies, so I'm nervous. My dad is visiting too, so he and my husband will hold down the fort easily. My almost 4-year-old daughter is actually a great help, too. My friend and I are going to the big city (Stockholm) to walk, eat, go see the Woody Allen documentary, go to a fancy restaurant, and sleep at a hotel (that's the part I'm excited about -- watch tv in bed! room service! sleep ALL night! buffe breakfast!).