BFM - I too love your approach. I'm hoping to be in the same place, eventually.
For now though, I'm a counter - I needed to re-frame my eating habits in terms of volume... I had utterly lost track of a true serving size and actually listening to my body telling me when it is satisfied as opposed to full. I'm a little OCD and love numbers tho, so this does work for me on a long term basis.
I have always been a counter in the past, and it has worked for me. Then I get stressed out or life happens and I fall of the counting wagon. I just can't seem to maintain the counting when overwhelmed. Our whole family eats off salad plates rather than dinner plates and that helps me with portion control ALOT! We are also big on fiber, and using whole grains (as in real whole grains rather than whole grain processed foods). These have helped alot with portion control. Although I think I will need to be more precise in monitoring portions to get all the way down where I want to go. I just need to figure out a system that will keep working when life is not working out well.